Beerox
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
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 Posted:
Jun 14, 2012 - 07:48 |
 
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NWL Premier Round 4:
Dead Zeppelin 1 - 1 Mirkwood Lumberjacks
A disgrace! A farce!
Licker pounded my team into dust the whole game. 1st half he received. Removed my treeman turn 1. Had 4 guys off the pitch by turn 4. Easily scored as the Lumberjacks ran and hid like altar boys after hours.
2nd half the Lumberjacks managed to score 8 on 11, with a bunch of dodgy dice rolls and a nice pass. I tried to waste some time but guys just kept getting hit. The stupid ref let Licker's Zombie fouler stomp 6 times this game without ejection, killing all-star wardancer Aron Stumpshaver in the process. Apoth failed for the Jacks as usual. That crackhead crackpot has not succeeded for 2 full seasons. Go ahead watch the replays I do not exaggerate! 0 for 2 seasons. 0. Ok...
So there's 5 turns for Licker to score with a couple of star Ghouls, mummies, tacklers, all that crap... and a 4 man advantage. 11 on 7... 11 on 6... The Lumberjacks send wave after wave of desperate attacks at the ball carrier, managing to dislodge the ball once. Zeppelins get it back. 11 on 4. 11 on 3, Ghoul in scoring range for a sure T8 leisurely stroll. One last desperate attempt by Plaxico Gellash to dislodge the ball. Dodges into the cage, -2db, POW-POW. Ball out, ghoul down, a catcher runs in to take the ball and fall down on his face upfield. 11 on 2  Wight plans a handoff to a skeleton, but fails pickup. The end.
I'm not sure what the authorities should investigate. The T16 dice, the unabated Zombie stompfest, the crooked apothecary, or the Fumbbl inability to fire apothecaries! But there should definitely be an investigation of some sort.
Grats on the good, methodical carnage, Licker. Not so grats for the draw |
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Sigmar1
Joined: Aug 13, 2008
Location: Seattle
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Jun 14, 2012 - 08:07 |
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Great synopsis Beerox, and well done on clawing out a tie. That match sounds truly hilarious!
I only wish the Teabaggers were still in Premier. Curse you Brasky for dragging me down with you! |
_________________
Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges! |
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Sigmar1
Joined: Aug 13, 2008
Location: Seattle
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| Posted:
Jun 20, 2012 - 07:34 |
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cyric612
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
Location: Raleigh NC
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Jun 20, 2012 - 12:45 |
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Week 4 premiere
Black Plague 3 Modern Family Redux
With 5 missing players between the two teams this game was set up for both teams to try and skate through and recover for the following game The family showed up with a wizard and the chaos warrior with the chainsaw to help battle the more seasoned Plague. The Family received the opening kick off only to see Gutter Runner Tuon Tavore throw caution to the wind and jump in to the cage and strip the ball away. Rookie gutter Kaladin Tsaroth followed up his more experienced teammate and grabbed the ball in two tackle zones and dodged out to complete a pass back to CyAn. The Plague Captain followed a wall of line rats around the end looking to score. After spending a turn punishing the two Plagur gutter runners, surfing the rookie, knocking down, the following with a boot, the Family turned their attention back to the ball. Calling on the wizard the chaos were able to blow a gap into CyAn's screen and blitz him to the KO box. The teams continued to fight for the ball with Tuon Tavore finally snatching it up and passing to Corrab in the end zone for the 1-0 lead. The ref finically bailed out Tuon on the Families third foul attempt and sent the dirty beast man to the showers. After the score Max Spleenripper was also banned from the game with the only player to taste his saw being himself as it kicked back late on the first turn of the game. The Plague kicked deep and were unable to capitalize on the families ball handling issues as Tuon twice failed to pick up the ball in the Open field. The second half started with the plague receiving and the only two players out of the match being the two banned players. The rats quickly scored to make it 2-0 with Kaladin Tsaroth scoring his first career Td. The Family were able to complete a fancy pass play to keep the ball away fr the swarming rats about this time Plague kicker Heart Fang ate up some spinach and sent two beast men to the casualty box on consecutive turns. Undaunted by this the chaos scored to make it 2-1. With sides being 8 on 8 coach suthetlands called a blitz and the Family set up to try and take the ball and score. The Plagues heavy hitters would have none of that as Ghostmaker, CyAn, ad Corabb were able to punish the beast men of Modern Family and Kaladin Tavore was able to walk into the end zone for A 3-1lead as time was winding down. A late riot prolonged the misery for Modern Family as even with some extra time coming back from a two Td deficit was going to be too much. Good game Sutherlands |
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RobRoyDuncan
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
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Jun 26, 2012 - 20:54 |
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Eastern Conference, round 6: Elves in Luck vs Ulthuan Unknowns
My own elves have been having a good rookie season, with wins over other low-TV teams and losses attributable to coaching errors against the veterans. The other rookie High Elves in the conference, CaptainKrunch's Ulthuan Unknowns, have not done so well. They were averaging a perm a game coming in to this match, and all the injuries have driven them down to the cellar of the Eastern, but they were fielding a lonerless team for the first time since their virgin match, and were looking for a win.
Perfect defence allowed the Luck to rearrange some, and their three elves on the line were only pushed back, not knocked over. CaptainKrunch made the most of his blitz, though, BHing a lineman. He took advantage of his man advantage to push forward along the sidelines, but the advantage was temporary, as the Luck's start blitzer Burgund outright killed a lineman on the second turn, and niggled another on the third. The Unknowns sideline drive managed to work out for them as the Luck were unable to dodge a man in for the 1d crowd push, and the Unknowns scored on their turn 4, leaving the Luck five turns for a score.
A blitz from the Unknowns on the kickoff almost punished the Luck for leaving the sidelines open, but the ball bounced away from the Unknowns and was retrieved by the Luck, although by no means safe. The Unknown continued trying to grab it, but the Luck's ballcarrier survived the next turn's blitz and passed to a much better positioned catcher. After a couple turns of stalling, the ball was finally knocked free, but the blitzer who accomplished this knocked himself out on a GFI to try to pick the ball up himself. With the ball sitting free in the endzone, RobRoyDuncan made the decision to pick it up and score on turn 7 instead of risking either failing the turn 8 pickup or the ball being retrieved by the Unknowns and tossed away. Doing this gave the Unknown two chances at getting their KO'd personnel back, though, and all three of them made it back for the second half, leaving them down only 10-9.
A pitch invasion started the second, taking those numbers temporarily to 7-5. The Luck's other blitzer, Strasbourg, finally earned his first SPP, BHing a lineman to secure the manpower (elfpower?) advantage for the Luck. CaptainKrunch tried threatening the ball carrier, but unfortunately fell afoul of (AFAIK) the last remaining major wizard bug, that you cannot use the wizard at the end of your turn if you have acted with all of your players. This allowed the Luck to set up a couple passing plays to get the ball down to just outside the Ulthuan end zone, with a fairly secure cordon set up to keep pressure away from the ball. Three turns in a row saw one of the Unknown removed from the field with either a KO or BH, and this drive was well in hand for the Luck aside from the wizard. RobRoyDuncan finally decided that he didn't want to give the Unknown two turns to equalize, and he held off on scoring on turn 7. The wizard, of course, bolted the ball carrier, but another of the Luck were able to pick the ball up for the 2-1 lead.
A riot pushed the clock back to give CaptainKrunch two turns and the potential to score, but two blocks in a row turned up Skull/Both Down, and so the chance was wasted, although he did manage to niggle a lineman on one of the blocks. With that done, the final score of 2-1 would hold up.
My Elves' good day (well, except for the niggled guy) continued into skills. All the throwing and hitting produced four separate skill rolls, and _two_ of them - a rookie catcher and a rookie lino - rolled +AG. Keeping them alive long enough to get useful skills to go with the stats will be tricky, but there is no way I am going to turn those 11s down.
I would also to send out a thank-you to all of my opponents so far. CaptainKrunch was mentioning that he planned to redraft next season - baller was third on his list of three preferences for the draft, and all of the perms obviously haven't helped - but he still played, and was an enjoyable opponent, and a good sport about the whole thing. And this has been typical of my experiences so far this season. Everyone in the Eastern Conference is here and trying and having fun, and I wanted to thank all of you for letting me have fun too. |
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Beerox
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
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Jun 27, 2012 - 05:00 |
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Premier:
Modern Family Redux 1 - 2 Mirkwood Lumberjacks
Day late, dollar short but here is a write-up:
After a misclick, I received. Let's start this off with skulls, shall we? Very nice. Reroll, push. Now we're cookin’. No blitz here, too depressing. Hmm, I'll have to resort to the let-him-gang-foul-me stragegy. Bye bye treeman. Nice, an open lane now! Doh, more skulls. Another foul.. bye, catcher! This would be downright depressing if that goat hadn't Ko'd himself trying to act all dodgy. Well I’m dodgy! Oh, not anymore. Dead elf. Apo worked! And I scored!
Well the apo worked, but the Family is still fouling. This game Sutherlands brought bribes, but the ref didn't see anything anyways. 7 fouls, caught 0 times, end the game with 2 bribes in pocket. 6 fouls against me last game with no ref seeing anything. Wait, what? 13 fouls in 2 games, without the ref seeing one? In the same time frame, I have laid the soft leathery boot down one time, and got tagged for it. Anyways Sutherlands fumbled a pass and I picked it up to score at the end of 1st half. Then I ran and hid like a sissy for 8 or 9 turns. 2-1 Jacks.
But enough of the game, I dont even know what happened. Sutherlands must have slipped on a banana peel or something.
Lets just get back to this ref thing.
13/0, 1/1. Really?
Here it is in Roman numerals:
XIII/(ahh hell they don't do zeros), I/I.
Cmon man thats messed up. I want to bribe the ref so he can see better. Change the rules! For me! Implement the antibribe!
RIP Plaxico Gellash you sissyboy. |
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Beerox
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
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Jul 01, 2012 - 17:33 |
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Premier:
Creatures with Attitude 2 - 2 Mirkwood Lumberjacks
Well. Neither of us could stop the other from scoring. ST4 blodge sidestep tackle MA8 what am I gonna do about that? Wizard (can I have one of those every drive?) And what were the Creatures gonna do about elfy leapers rolling 3s? Not much.
And what was the ref gonna do about 6 more fouls? Nothin... but they were all weak fouls at least.
Counted em up. 22 fouls on the Jacks since the ref last caught one. Lol, the Jacks were not meant to live! But they plod on for another day. To the surprise of both coaches, the Jacks weren't squashed into oblivion today. Just KO'd a lot.
Not sure who can dethrone the Rat Plague though. Anyone? |
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cyric612
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
Location: Raleigh NC
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Jul 01, 2012 - 18:20 |
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Premier:
Last of the Renshi 3 Black Plague 2.
This game started off with the Plague on Fire first block badly hurt Linemen Second Block CyAn Put the smack down on Santaqithi. Coach Ryanfitz was having nothing to do with that and used the apoth to patch up Santaquithi. This may have been the move of the match as the Plague jammed the ball into the endzone twice in the first half to take a 2-0 lead into half time! But the Norsemen were taking a heavy toll on the plague who may have forgot to put on any armour for this match. In the first half they were on the recieving end of 24 blocks with 6 rats going out badly hurt or seriously injured. Looking at only have 6 rats left for the second half the Norsemen cornered the remaining rats and scored two fairly quick scores to tie the game up with 2 turns left. The plague were left with only 3 rats to receive the kick off but with one leaping gutter on the field Coach Cyric thought that he should be able to at least keep the game a tie. Unfortunately the Norsemen got their berserker on and blitzed the 3 poor rats that were left and snatched the ball to score and make it 3-2 with the rats receiving one last kick off. Speedy Gutter runner Cyan Bloodbane returned from the KO box to give the rats a chance but with only 3 total rats on the field they were unable to get him a clear shot at receiving the pass and he fumbled the ball away in two tackle zones to end the game. As bad as a beating as the plague took suffering 9 casualties on only 42 blocks against them they came out of this with no permanent damage. Maybe this will help Coach Cy be able to encourage them to at least put on some armour for the remaining matches. Nicely done Ryanfitz. Next up for the Plague are the Pro elves coached by Xyon. with both teams having fairly even team ratings it should be a good match up. |
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RobRoyDuncan
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
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| Posted:
Jul 06, 2012 - 15:50 |
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Eastern Conference, Round 7: Elves in Luck vs NWL Iron Curtain
Both teams had been doing well this season, but the freshman Elves were a distinct underdog, getting 530k in inducements against the developed Chaos team. After some deliberation, RobRoyDuncan selected a Wizard, a Wandering Apothecary (due to the large amounts of Mighty Blow on the Chaos side), star Eldril Sidewinder and a Babe to round things out.
Things started off well for the Elves - they chose to kick, and managed to get through the first two Chaos turns and actually have a man advantage, with nobody removed from the field yet but one Beastman sent off for fouling. Things went awry on their second turn, though - the wizard's fireball only took down one of the four targets, and that one not the ball carrier. Eldril's hypnotic gaze failed to distract, and by the time an attempted dodge failed on the blitz it was obvious that this was not the turn the Luck would end up with the ball. The Iron Curtain moved the ball downfield, but failed to close off their screen, allowing one of the elven blitzers a 1d swipe at the ballcarrier, which took him down. The ball bounced up into the screen, though, landing in three Chaos tackle zones, and the elves held off from trying to retrieve it that turn. The Curtain did some bashing, and ended off by having one of their Chaos Warriors grab the ball and GFI into the end zone for the first TD of the game.
Perfect Defence combined with the strength advantage of the Chaos team caused problems for the Luck immediately after the kickoff, but they did get the ball into a safe place and began threatening a score with some runners. The next turn, a hand-off to a clear man allowed a pass to a blitzer in one TD, who managed to snag the ball and dodge away from his cover, getting almost to the end zone and just out of blitz range for the next turn. This apparently angered the opposing team, who responded with a RIP on the Luck's +ST blitzer (apo'd) and a BH on another lineman. The Luck wasted no further time in scoring, giving the Iron Curtain two turns to make something out of the rest of the first half. Coach fangbanger decided that he wanted more blocks more than to try a mass Beastman rush, though, and the token guy in scoring position was promptly blitzed away. The one elf KO'd during those turns failed to return, leaving the Luck down 11-9 for the start of the second half.
With plenty of time left in the possession, the Luck didn't push too hard on the first turn, trying to take their time with the score. It quickly became 11-8, though, when a Chaos Warrior snapped the neck of another Luck lineman (again luckily apo'd into a BH). The elves fell back to regroup, in the process running Eldril Sidewinder through to the Iron Curtain's backfield. The Chaos team continued pursuit, but the elves were able to KO the one Beastman playing safety near Eldril and pass the ball over to him. The Chaos team turned to pursue, but the second action done by the Iron Curtain was a blitz to try to knock a hole in the elves' screen. The initial block did not take down the target, so fangbanger rerolled it, and hit double skulls. The Luck ran the ball right next to the goal line, but their attempted blocks were not so successful, and they were only able to delay one more turn before the crush of fangbanger's troops forced the score. The Luck were up 2-1, but the Iron Curtain had three turns to even it up.
Things were looking good for the bad guys to start, as a pitch invasion took down 4/10 elves, but only 2/11 Chaos (who had the FAME advantage). The Chaos team smashed in, but then fangbanger made a tactical error. With two Beastmen left to act, the +AG one snagged the ball and handed it over to the +MA Sure Hands one, Caliban. He was selected to do a Move action, and then... paused. Due to the holes in the Chaos formation caused by the missing men, there was nowhere he could go (aside from directly away from scoring) that the elves would not be able to catch up with him. After some thought, Caliban was changed into a Pass action, and tried to run across the field to lob the ball to a more-protected Beastman on the other side of the pitch. A GFI attempt to avoid the chance of an interception just moved him into a tackle zone, though, and Eldril Sidewinder was able to claim the ball for the elves. Even if that interception had failed, though, it was still a 5+ for the throw and a 3+ for the catch (with no rerolls available) for the Iron Curtain to retain possession of the ball. Had the Beastmen's action been reversed - Caliban handing off to the +AG Gazer for the throw - the odds of success would have been greatly increased.
Eldril promptly took off for the Chaos side of the pitch, trailed by a partial screen of hopeful scorers. Most of those were knocked down on the next turn, though, but the effort expended in defence left only one Chaos player in scoring position, and he was CAS'd right off the field on the Luck's next turn to guarantee the 2-1 win.
The game went very well for the Luck, with a victory and no (un-apo'd) perms. They face Palorrin's Dead Morticians next, while fangbanger has to deal with more elfiness from UncleDredd's Action Hero Botox Party. The loss also knocked the Iron Curtain out of contention for the top spot in the East - they can no longer tie Sigmar1's Feral Teabaggers in the standings. The only one left who catch the Norse is PainState, and to take the top spot he needs to win all three of his remaining matches, as well as have Sigmar1 take his first loss of the season in his last match, against the NWL Iron Curtain. The odds are long, but those are often the most entertaining kind. |
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RobRoyDuncan
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
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| Posted:
Jul 06, 2012 - 16:29 |
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Also, random trivia! Highest lifetime stats for players in currently active NWL teams.
Games: 39
Keys, Zombie, Creatures With Attitude (Jasfmpgh)
Completions: 27
Aeomur the Siege Operater, Thrower, Elven Caravan (xyon)
Touchdowns: 31
D'Naer, Dark Elf Renegade, Northern Waste Hydras (BillBrasky)
Interceptions: 1
One player each from Elven Caravan, Creatures with Attitude, Slaughter House [9], NWL Iron Curtain, Death From Above!!, Waste Not, Want Rot
Casualties: 31
BA Duke, Werewolf, Creatures With Attitude (Jasfmpgh)
MVPs: 8
The Ghoster, Wight, Creatures With Attitude (Jasfmpgh)
SPP: 108
D'Naer, Dark Elf Renegade, Northern Waste Hydras (BillBrasky) |
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RobRoyDuncan
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
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Jul 09, 2012 - 15:03 |
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We have a winner! Sigmar1's latest win has given him an insurmountable lead in the Eastern Conference. His record stands at 7-1-0 with one game left to play. Only PainState has been able to slow him down at all. Welcome back to Premier, Sigmar1!
Things are rather less clear in the Western, where the numerous concessions have muddied the waters, and the recent reappearance of propuppetmaster's Northern Waste Legends, while appreciated, did not make the playoff picture any clearer. Assuming my math is not wrong, and applying future concessions for the still-absent Ancients and johnalex, ex-convict's Bigger in Texas have the best record currently (7-0-1), with only one actual match left to play, against robocoyote's Mojave Waste Lizards. robocoyote and BillBrasky, meanwhile, are sitting at 6-1-1, within striking distance. If ex-convict can win or tie his match, he will take the top spot, as he holds the tiebreaker against BillBrasky's Northern Waste Hydras; a win for robocoyote would open up the division, though, allowing him or BillBrasky to take the slot, or maybe even Craftnburn, who has three live opponents left to face but could potentially tie robocoyote and Bill. However things go before then, I expect the Mojave Waste Lizards - Bigger in Texas fight to be a good one. Let us know when you get it scheduled for!
Finally, we have Premier. Reigning champions Black__Plague continue to go through their opponents like a hot rat through cheese, with ryanfitz' Last of the Renshai the only team so far to wrest points from their hands. (Claws?) With two matches left, they still need to face the 2nd and 3rd place teams in Premier, but it remains to be seen whether those teams are actual contenders for the top spot, or are just ahead in standings because they haven't played the Skaven yet. One more win for cyric612 will secure him a repeat title, while all of the remaining contenders - licker's Dead Zeppelin [NWL], Beerox' Mirkwood Lumberjacks, ryanfitz' Last of the Renshai and SavageJ's Savage Slings - need near-perfect records to have a chance at victory. |
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cyric612
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
Location: Raleigh NC
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Jul 14, 2012 - 00:37 |
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Premiere
Black plague 2 Elven Caravan 1
Two pretty much evenly matched teams. I waited to long to do this match report so I don't remember what happened although the elves managed to foul CyAn to death but the Apoth did his job and kept him alive although he robbed Jasfmpgh the chance to kill him |
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cyric612
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
Location: Raleigh NC
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| Posted:
Jul 14, 2012 - 01:05 |
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Premiere
Black Plague 3 Creatures with Attitude 1.
Pretty strange game with plague Cpt CyAn out for the match the rats were able to hire a wizard to try and help make up the difference. The Creatures recieved and set up the field wasting no time coach Cy ordered the wizard to fry the cage and fry it he did when the smoke cleared Star werewolf ba duke was in the dugout regenerating from a bad case of death by fireball. The ball was knocked free from his fellow werewolve victorinni was on the ground with the ball out and a zombie was stunned. Looking to capitalize on the amazing spell one of the Plagues gutter runners sped in and proceeded to drop the ball. Coach Cy later commented that the smell of burnt werewolf fur overwhelmed the poor rat. Victorinni got up and took the ball and proceeded to storm down the field and score I turn 8. Uovrd by this the plague lined up to send Cyan bloodbane on a one turn td try even with sure feet Coach Cy was worried about making three gfi's. Lucky for Coac Cy Cyan failed the first dodge and te half ended with the necros up 1-0 and kicking off to te rats. The plague quickly scored to tie up the game and then things went kinda haywire for coach Jasfmpgh's team the rest of the half featured the necros dropping the rats and the ball at a fairly decent rate. The Plague grabbed two loose balls to score a surprising 3 second half Touchdowns and win the game. Along the way the necros second werewolf Victorinni also spent some quality time in the dugout recovering from death. One zombie wasn't so lucky and he left the blood bowl pitch for good. After his failed pick up of the ball Superstar Agility five gutter runner Cyan Ariakus was punished for his ineptitude and will miss the next match. Good game Jasfmpgh not sure we could recreate that second half if we tried |
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cyric612
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
Location: Raleigh NC
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| Posted:
Jul 14, 2012 - 01:07 |
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Almost forgot to mention nice update on the three divisions robroyduncan and the stats |
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RobRoyDuncan
Joined: Apr 15, 2011
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Jul 14, 2012 - 14:21 |
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| cyric612 wrote: | | Almost forgot to mention nice update on the three divisions robroyduncan and the stats |
Thanks - good to know I'm appreciated! I did make one mistake, though - my writeup on the Western mentions that a tie for ex-convict would win him the division, but I was misremembering the tiebreakers. Heads-up is not actually a factor. TD delta is the first tiebreaker, which means that a tie for ex-convict and a win for BillBrasky will actually put Bill on top. Interesting days! |
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