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cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: Jan 16, 2015 - 22:43 Reply with quote Back to top

The Truth
Episode 4

-"I'm Mignus Mignusson and welcome to another episode of The Truth.

In tonight's episode we look into the latest controversy that has hit Grind Ball and the TGC.

We will have Interviews with the Coach "Al" Alagondûvaesh of the Vercuso Pearls, Ravenheart of the Sartosa Shipwrecks, Rocco Napolitano of he Sartosa Shipwrecks and we hope to get a word from Lord Borgia himself.

What is this new Controvesy I hear you ask.

It all started on the 19-12-2514 when the TGC announced some new rules for Grind.

After this there was much confusion as some of the older teams were now in contention to some of the rules.

A grace period followed by a complicated statement by a member of the TGC led to some more confusion amongst the Coaches.

This all came to a head when in a recent game the Vercuso Pearls fielded an illegal player in a game against the Scourge of Sartosa which they went on to win.

The illegal player Bregedon an Elven Blitzer was instrumental in this win scoring the only touchdown of the game as well as injuring Ulfwerener, Midnight Falcon.

After the game the TGC issued a large fine and reversed the result of the game in favour of the Scourge of Sartosa as well as giving Bregedon a life long ban on playing Grind ball.

I'll play an interview I conducted with Vercuso Pearl Coach "Al" Alagondûvaesh shortly after the ruling was given.




Cut to a Grind Ball training ground, some Elves can be seen throwing a ball around in the background.



-"Hello Coach "Al" Alagondûvaesh, I'm Magnus Magnusson of The Truth, could I have a moment of your time please?"

-"That all depends! What's the fine these days for telling The Truth? I'm not sure The Grind Committee can handle The Truth."

-"I have to agree with you on that Al, may I call you Al."


(Doesn't wait for an answer)

-"Now in your last game against the Scourge of Sartosa your team fielded an Illegal Player and were subsequently fined.

How do you feel about this?
Do you feel the fine was justified?
Or was this just another case of the TGC messing with things by adding new rules?"

-"Mad as hell,
Mig, that's how I feel. It's not about the money- it's not even about the blatant targeting of a franchise that, in its infancy, has proven itself superior to any other team in the game today. It's about the fans! And their money!

TGC weeps for the recruiting woes of the lazy mainlanders and their furry Mountain-dwelling neighbors- meaning no offense, of course- and they curse the Elves of Vercuso for plucking raw talent out of the river and mud banks just like the honest, hard-working, folk who come out in droves to support them do with pearls.
TGC has that luxury. They don't know what I know: that Bregedor's side-stepping of certain protocol and fudging of documentation, while brash, probably put butts in seats. And butts in seats are what feed this rubbish-pile-fire of a league, like it or not.

You know who loves ball games, pearls, and ain't got a clam-infested body of water for leagues in every direction?

Nehekhara. So help me Nuffle, I'll take this cash cow somewhere it'll be appreciated. We'll live like Tomb Kings!"




Fade back to the studio



"As you can see Coach "Al" Alagondûvaesh is mad, mad as hell.

His opponents from the Scourge of Sartosa had this to say."



Cut to the deck of a large ship where Mignus stands with Ravenheart of the Scourge


I'm here with Ravenheart of the Scourge of Sartosa.

Hello do I call you Mr Ravenheart or is it just Ravenheart?"


(Doesn't wait for a reply.)

"Your last game against the Vercuso Pearls has hit the spotlight recently. When it was made known that they had infringed on a new rule put forward by Lord Borgia and his cohorts.

The Pearls were not only hit with a fine but their victory against you was overturned and the points were awarded to your team.

Do you feel justice has been served here?"

-"Just Ravenheart will suffice, we are all the equal on the good ship End of Days.

To answer your question we need to ask other questions. Why were the pearls allowed to field the team in the first place? Why have the TGC been lacking in upholding their duty?

The simple answer is that the TGC are corrupt and have no concept of honour. For too long they have lived in opulence while the common man struggles to survive. Bribes are a way of life for them and the Scourge are anathema to them. We believe in equality for all and that wealth that has been hoarded immorally needs to be redistributed.

If not for our brothers from the Saratosa Shipwrecks making a public outcry of the foul play then this injustice would have stood.

Do not get me wrong, the Elves from the Pearls played a very good game and their agility took us by surprise but the rules are there for a reason. All must follow them or we stray from the path and head into murky waters. Had this result stood then the Pearls would have found themselves on a slippery path into treachery and deceit."




Fade back to the studio



-"As you can see and is clear to all is that the TGC are held in a low light and fast losing the respect of all of Grinds Coaches.

As Ravenheart said the rule breaking was made public by the Sartosa Shipwrecks. I can tell you all now it was Assistant Coach Rocco Napolitano. I had the opportunity to speak to him last night in The Lonely Grub tavern. Here's what he had to say."




Cut to a dingy looking tavern where a lot of noise and drunken revelry can been seen happening in the background.



-"Rocco, Mignus Mignusson here can you tell me why you reported the infringement to the TGC?"

-"That be ye Mignus?

I be thinkin' ye not be able t' make it.

Pull yeself up a pew 'n get that down ye."


Rocco hands Mignus a half spilt mug of grog and forces him to drink the lot

-"Rocco, the question why report it?"

-"Well ye be seein' th' Cap'n don't like how we been playin'. How we be losin' that thar' game. Shhh, shhh, shhh."


Rocco looks around the bar with a paranoid look in his eyes. He hands Mignus another mug and grabs one himself.

-"Yes, yes, go ahead."

-"Ok, ye be seein' that thar' loss be gettin' t' th' Cap'ns head, 'n he be seein' them thar' Elves be winnin' 'n winnin' 'n winnin'."


Rocco takes a large gulp of his grog and forces Mignus to do the same.

-"What I be sayin'?"

-"That th', I mean the Vercu, Vercuso Pearls keep on winnin' I mean winning.

I really need to concentrate here Rocco, no more grog fer me."

-"More grog ye be a man after me own heart, wench get us some o' that thar' grog, fast."


A buxom wench complies and promptly two more mugs of grog appear in Rocco and Mignus's hands.

-"Right so them thar' Elves be winnin', 'n th' Cap'n don't like it so he be tellin' me t' look fer a way t' slow em down.

'n me bein' th' sharp witted lawyer that I be.."

-"Bwahahaha, you a sharp witted lawyer?"

-"Aye laddie before I be pressgange int' playin' Grind I was a top nautical lawyer."

-"Hahaha, really ye were a lawyer?

Bwahahaha. If that be true ye can have another mug o' grog on me."


At this point the interview ends and after a few more mugs of grog Rocco and Mignus are seen walking out the pub arms on each others shoulders singing bawdy sea shanties.



Fade back to the studio



-"Hmmm, I thought you said we got the interview down."

Mignus talks to one of his producers off camera. A muffled reply can be heard.

-"Well I have to apologise to you. That isn't quite how I remembered that going.

Ok well I guess we'll move on to our next section.

Tonight we have investigative reporter Bodger Crook reporting live from the TGCs headquarters.

Bodger can you hear me?"




The screen splits in two Mignus on the left Bodger on the right.



-"I can hear you Mignus."

-"Any sign of Lord Borgia yet?"

-"Not yet, but the reports are he's on his way down now.

Wait, is that him? is that him?

It is, here he comes now Mignus."




The screen cuts to single screen with Bodger approaches the steps of the TGC.



-"Lord Borgia, Lord Borgia I'm Bodger Crook reporting from The Truth.

Could I get a few words regarding the fines implemented for the illegal use of a Player by the Vercuso Pearls.

Do you really feel it was justified issuing said fine?

The rules are pretty new and are pretty hard to follow.

We had to hire an army of solicitors to go through all the legislation to fully understand it ourselves."

-"You're quite right, the fine is totally unfair. I'll go and return this shiny new pair of boots at once and give them their money ba..... hahahahaha"


Lord Borgia pushed Bodger down the steps as he passes. The newly appointed TGC press officer Baron Christoph jumps to catch him and deflect from the situation.

-"Hi. Our Lord is of course joking. I myself saw him wearing those boots last week. Ignore the tag, sometimes he just likes to keep them on so they look new...

On the ruling in question, while new legislation is sometimes hard to follow it was deemed necessary for the integrity of the league to follow the strict rulings of the game's laws. The Pearls have accepted their punishment as fair and just."

-"What the hell!!?"


Shrugging off Baron Christoph.

-"Ahh, here comes the Chief of Trifles Theobald Eck.

Thoebold, do you have anything you would like to add?"


Theoblod holds a document to shield his face from the camera, as he is marshalled off after Lord Borgia between the shoulders of two mean looking Ogres, while Baron Christoph gets in Bodgers way.

-"Well it doesn't look like I'll be getting anything more here Mignus, back to you in the studio."



Fade back to the studio



-"As you can see Lord Borgia is up to his old tricks. The TGC has fallen to a new low if you ask me.

Pushing a reporter on live broadcast. What is he thinking?

That's all we've got time for on tonight's show.

Can someone get me our lawyers in here now.

Oh yes.

I've been Mignus Mignusson and this has been the Truth.

Get me those lawyers in here now."




Roll End Credits with funky retro soundtrack

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cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: Jan 20, 2015 - 11:39 Reply with quote Back to top

Welcome to
On The Grind
Season 3 Round 4

Sponsored by Cabalvision

B -"Welcome to tonight's episode of On The Grind, I'm Barty Silk."

T -"And I'm Thundgrim Ironside."

B -"Tonight see's all of the action from round four."

T -"And what a night it is Barty. With some great results and a few suprises."

B -"Lets take a look at the South Eastern Divison."


Vercuso Pearls vs Scourge of Sartosa
Barrak Varr Ironclads vs Irrepressible Quarriers
Mora Pro Asur vs Pavona Parole Program
Sartosa Shipwrecks vs Unguths Vilesons

T -"That's quite a line up."

B -"Let's get straight in on the action with the controversial game that was the Vercuso Pearls against the Scourge of Sartosa."

T -"Aye, this was a well played game by the Pearls as they frustrated the Scourge, new Blitzer Bregedon was especially effective scoring the only touchdown and injuring Ulfwerener Midnight Falcom. Final Score one nil to the Pearls."

B -"After the game news was brought to the attention of the TGC that the Pearls had knowingly infringed upon the rules."

T -"Aye, so the result was reversed in favour of the Scourge of Sartosa. Making this the first time in Grind history that a result has been reversed. Barty, for the viewers at home could you give a quick run down of how that came about."

B -"Well you see Thundgrim, Grind ball is still in it's infancy and the rules need to be tweaked here and there occasionally. Sometimes coaches can find it hard to follow some of the rules changes and that's what happened here Thundgrim."

T -"Which of the rules were broken?"

B -"Section three, Paragraph one. All teams must have four rostered Linemen."

T -"Doesn't seem like a hard rule to follow."

B -"Well the thing is Thundgrim most of the teams in the League at the moment have more than four Linemen in their team. This is because a grace period was allowed so that teams wouldn't get bankrupted having to replace players."

T -"Ok, I see that makes sense I guess."

B -"Onto our next game."

T -"And what a game it was. As the Barrak Varr Ironclads took on the Irrepressible Quarriers."

B -"The Ironclads came into this game after a great draw against the Pearls in the previous round and you could see the confidence in the players as they took to the field."

T -"Aye, it was a glorious display by my Dwarven kin who barely made a mistake all game."

B -"Unfortunately for the Quarriers everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Team Mascot Giovanna "Del Luce" Campanelli even had to be revived by the Quarriers apothecary, but had to spend the rest of the match getting treatment for a serious concussion."

T -"Aye, it was a great hit that saw him stretchered off of the pitch. Final score two one to the Ironclads who celebrate their second win in fourteen games. Lets hope they can keep up the good form and put some more wins under their belt."

B -"Next up was meant to be the match between Mora Pro Asur and the Pavona Parole Program. But Mora Pro Asur failed to turn up to the match. I'm sure Lord Borgia will have something to say about that. The game was awarded in favour of the Parolees."

T -"That was shame Barty. I was looking forward to that game."

B -"Our last game in the South Eastern Division sees the Sartosa Shipwrecks take on the hard hitting Unguths Vilesons."

T -"The game started with Ogre Tiny being carted off of the pitch and saw the Vilesons take the advantage with an early touchdown. The shipwrecks quickly equalised and it looked they had the game wrapped up when Pipes walked the ball towards the Vilesons endzone. I don't know if it was the fear of the Vilesons hitting power but he decided to try and stall the half out."

B -"And boy did it cost him as the Orcs after a struggle finally managed to reach him. As Troll Borga Gobthrotla managed to get a tacklezone on him. Pipes tried dodging away but slipped spilling the ball, Silvio Rosso tried to recover the ball but the pressure must have got to him as he couldn't manage to get a grip on it."

T -"Final score one all and an embarrassed looking Shipwreck squad."

B -"After the game Captain Neri could be seen letting fly with some expletives at the rest of the team."

T -"Let's take a look at the North Western Division next."


Black Company of Remas vs Miragliano Red Pox
Miragliano Madratters vs Ironfist's Nomads
Castello Cabolleros vs Skurvy Buccaneers
Blighted Marshes Brawlers vs Tobaro City Guard

B -"Up first we have the Black Company of Remas against the Miragliano Red Pox."

T -"The Black Company come into this after defeating another team from Miragliano, the Madratters and are hoping to do the same here. And the Red pox come into this game four games undefeated. Can they continue their good run of form."

B -"Both these teams showed grit and determination. And neither team was able to take advantage in the end. Final score one all."

T -"Next up we have another amazing game as the Miragliano Madratters faced Ironfist's Nomads."

B -"The Madratters are still looking for their first win this Season and the Nomads are looking to put their four one beating at the hands of the Red Pox behind them."

T -"And they did it with style Barty."

B -"Indeed, Under Dwinbar Ironfists leadership the Nomads have started to show some real promise."

T -"Aye, but the real star of the game though was Sunni "Wild Thing" Solveigsdottir, who showed her all round talent in throwing, scoring and hitting, it was no surprise she picked up the MVP after the game. And after fourteen games Gorazin Grundisson finally showed he's not just a pretty face as he crushed the life out of Catcher Alnolfo di Cambio. Final score and a well deserved victory to the Nomads."

B -"I was wondering why you were so happy this evening Thundgrim. But with both Dwarven teams seeing victory this round I can see why."

T -"Aye, it is a sight to behold. Both teams of my Dwarven brothers shall be receiving a barrel of Bugmans this very night."

B -"Are you sure that's wise. Last time you sent the Nomads some Bugmans they turned up to their next game drunk and ended up losing four one."

T -"They be Dwarves Barty, we're always slightly drunk."

B -"Yes, you do always have the stench of beer on your breath. Anyway onto our next game. Or what should have been our next game."

T -"Aye, it seems neither the Castello Cabolleros nor the Skurvy Buccaneers knew where their match was meant to take place as they both made their way to each others stadiums."

B -"Normally the TGC would allow an extension here, but the teams had already delayed too long in getting the game played."

T -"Lord Borgia can't be happy, that's two games not played this round. I can see him handing out some fines to make up for his losses here."

B -"Onto our last game for this evening. As the Blighted Marshes Brawlers took on the Tobaro City Guard."

T -"These two teams are no stranger to each other having played twice before. And the Guard cam out on top in both previous occasions."

B -"Could they make it three for three or could the Brawlers turn it around on them this time."

T -"Yes they could Barty. It was a great game for the Brawlers who managed to put three past the struggling Guard Defence. Orso Smaldone tried to rally the team with a couple of hard hitting injuries. But the Brawlers were just too much to handle."

B -"Final score three one to the Brawlers."

T -"Well that's all we have time for this evening. Hope you've enjoyed it and hope to see you back here next time for some more On the Grind."

B -"I've been Barty Silk."

T -"And I've been Thundgrim Ironside."

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mister__joshua



Joined: Jun 20, 2007

Post   Posted: Jan 20, 2015 - 17:10
FUMBBL Staff
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Press Conference held at the Penitentiary
Giuliano Grassi steps onto the platform and approaches the lectern

Grassi:"It is with a heavy heart today that I have made the decision to retire from Grindball. It's great to be given a second chance, and I'd like to thank the governor of Pavona for the fantastic opportunity. We've had a great few seasons and watching the league grow, and being a part of that, is something I'll always remember. However, everyone has to know when his time is up, and an accumulation of injuries has taken it's toll. Thanks to everyone for their support out on the field. You're certain to see me around on match day. I'm leaving the field, but I won't be leaving the game."

Cabalvision analyst Thundgrim Ironside broke the news this morning following his On The Grind broadcast, which prompted the press conference. Rumours are that Grassi will be joining the Parolee's back room staff, and has already secured a part-time Cabalvision contract.
cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: Jan 24, 2015 - 23:48 Reply with quote Back to top

Aharrr!!!

Th' game be startin' right bad as them thar' Quarriers gave us a right poundin'. We be formin' a tactical retreat thinkin' th' game be over fer us. But me boy Vito finally be learnin' a trick or two from his ole father in law 'n be runnin' in a real quick touchdown at th' end o' th' first half.

Th' second half we be gettin' ourselves together a bit more, even though me 'n some o' th' other lads be layin' out injured. Pipes n' Vito score another two fer us 'n be showin' them thar' Quarriers how it be done.

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cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: Jan 27, 2015 - 23:09 Reply with quote Back to top

Welcome to
On The Grind
Season 3 Round 5

Sponsored by Cabalvision

B -"Welcome to tonight's episode of On The Grind, I'm Barty Silk."

T -"And I'm Thundgrim Ironside."

B -"Tonight see's all of the action from round five."

T -"And what a night it is Barty. Lets start by taking a look at the South Eastern Divison."


Vercuso Pearls vs Mora Pro Asur
Scourge of Sartosa vs Pavona Parole Program
Barrak Varr Ironclads vs Unguths Vilesons
Irrepressible Quarriers vs Sartosa Shipwrecks

B -"First up sees an Elven battle as the Vercuso Pearls take on Mora Pro Asur."

T -"The Pearls are looking to bounce back after the reversal of their result in the last round. And Mora Pro are looking to carry on their good fortunes forward after their great victory last round against the Vilesons."

B -"Both of these teams gave a god account of themselves but the Pearls had the edge on the night and brought home the victory. Final score two one to the Pearls."

T -"Next up we see two teams in good form. The Scourge of Sartosa against the Pavona Parole Program."

B -"Pavona's opponents last round never showed up and the Scourge's result last week was reversed in their favour. You'll be glad to hear tonight's game went ahead without any incidents."

T -"The Parolees struggled in this game against the Scourge who played with renewed vigour. Flame on the Water was particularly impressive causing a casualty and scoring a touchdown. Final score two nil to the Scourge."

B -"That leaves the Scourge of Sartosa sitting pretty at the top of the table with only two games left to play."

T -"Aye, things are looking good for Raveheart and his boys. A good result next week against the Shipwrecks could see this division all wrapped up."

B -"Next up sees two teams who are hoping to have a good end to a bad season. Barrak Varr Ironclads against Unguths Vilesons."

T -"Both teams were brimming with confidence coming into this. As the Ironclads have seen a good run in their last two games picking up a draw against the Pearls and then securing a victory over the Quarriers. And the Vilesons come into this game after a memorable draw against the Shipwrecks."

B -"Unfortunately for the Ironclads nuffle favoured the Orcs in this game as the Dwarves just couldn't get a grip on things."

T -"Aye, not sure what was wrong with my kin here. Nothing seemed to go right for them."

B -"Final score two nil to the Vilesons who secure their first win this season."

T -"Onto our last game in the South Eastern Division. The Irrepressible Quarriers take on the Sartosa Shipwrecks."

B -"The Quarriers come into this game on the back of two losses. And the Shipwrecks are stuggling to regain their form after their loss to the Parolees and a draw against the Vilesons."

T -"And things started bad for them as the crowd non too happy with their performance last round rushed the field stunning half of their team. And things got worse from their as injuries started mounting up."

B -"The Quarriers stalled out the half while the remaining Shipwrecks retreated downfield."

T -"It all looked grim for the Shipwrecks until they pulled out an amazing one turn touchdown at the end of the half. The second half saw the game change in the Shipwrecks favour as they went on to win three one."

B -"That may just have saved their season. But they will be missing some important players against the Scourge in the next round."

T -"Lets take a look at the North Western Division next."


Miragliano Red Pox vs Castello Cabolleros
Black Company of Remas vs Skurvy Buccaneers
Ironfist's Nomads vs Tobaro City Guard
Miragliano Madratters vs Blighted Marshes Brawlers

B -"First up in the North Western Division is the Miragliano Red Pox against the Castello Cabolleros."

T -"The Red Pox have yet to lose a game this season but have only managed one win having managed to draw their other three games. The Cabolleros on the other hand have had two losses and failed to turn up at their game, as did their opponents."

B -"I think the rest has done them a world of good Thundgrim. As they came into this game and completely terrorised the Red Pox players. Half their team were stretchered off the field as the Cabolleros brang the hurt."

T -"Skaven thrower Airball Antonio put in a marvellous performance causing two casualties and picking the most valuable player award after the game."

B -"The Red Pox managed to hold the game to a respectable score line only losing two touchdowns to one."

T -"Next up we have the Black Company of Remas facing off against the Skurvy Buccaneers."

B -"These two teams are no stranger to each other having played twice before. Both times the Black Company came away with a two one win. Will history repeat itself again or could the Buccaneers reverse their fortunes this time round."

T -"This was fast paced high scoring game with both teams eager for victory."

B -"The Buccaneers took the advantage in the first half going in two one up at half time and added another after the break. But the Black Company fought back bringing the score to three two to the Buccaneers."

T -"This led to a tense end of the game as the Black Company desperately tried to get the ball for the equaliser. Unfortunately this left the team stretched and allowed the Buccaneers to run in a forth and seal the victory. Final score four two."

B -"The Ironfist's Nomads played the Tobaro City Guard in our next game. This will be the first time these two teams have met on the field. Both teams are having a good season so far with the Guards first loss coming last round against the Brawlers."

T -"This was a pretty tame game all things considered. Both teams prodding away at their opposition but no one could really take the advantage. Final score one all."

B -"That draw leaves both of these teams well placed in the League a good result in their last two games could see either of these teams at the top of the Division."

T -"Especially after this last game Barty. As the struggling Miragliano Madratters took on the mighty Blighted Marshes Brawlers and the Ratters have yet to secure a win this season."

B -"What a game this turned out to be Thundgrim. I don't think I've seen a more exciting game."

T -"Aye, it was a thriller and either side could have taken the victory here."

B -"The Ratters came out fast trying to make a point and some mistakes by the Brawlers allowed them to get in two early touchdowns. But you should never count the Brawlers out as they proved here."

T -"Aye the Brawlers fought back and got themselves back in the game with a touchdown before the end of the half and then quickly tied the game up with early second half touchdown."

B -"At this point the game could have gone either way as the ball was knocked free. Both teams fought for possession of the ball and the ball finally came away in the hands of a Ratter who ran in the ball for his teams first win."

T -"That win leaves that division open, almost any team with a good run could take the top two spots here."

B -"It will be an interesting last two rounds that's for sure Thundgrim."

T -"Well, that's all we've got time for tonight see you back here next time for some more On the Grind."

B -"I've been Barty Silk."

T -"And I've been Thundgrim Ironside."

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Last edited by cowhead on Jan 27, 2015 - 23:55; edited 1 time in total
Shades_SteelFist



Joined: Sep 11, 2008

Post   Posted: Jan 27, 2015 - 23:43 Reply with quote Back to top

No mention of my impossible longbomb pass Plus Lucky bounce catch and GIF for the second td?

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cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: Jan 30, 2015 - 23:58 Reply with quote Back to top

Aharr!!!

Pipes be th' hero again.

Things be startin' right bad fer th' lads as they be leavin' Silvio open t' an early Blitz. Which be seein' him taken t' th' Ships surgeon, who almost mistook some broken ribs fer death. I'll be havin' stern words with him ye can be sure.

One o' them thar wolf wearin' players had a free ball right next t' our endzone. 'n a failed pickup was all th' invitation Pipes be needin' t' run in a spirit away th' ball.

After this Calypso be showin' who she truly loves as she smites them thar' Scourge players from existence. Th' first o' them thar' casualties be hit hard by th' Don who be developin' int' a replacement kicker fer th' crew. Th' second be gettin' a right poundin' by th' crowd as Black Bas goaded them on. 'n th' third be trippin' over his own laces 'n smashin' his skull open on th' astrogranite.

With Calypso's thirst fer blood fully sated 'n th' Scourges crew decimated 'n despondent we be securin' a right fine victory.

Ravenheart was a worthy opponent with high ideals 'n I be wishin' him th' best on his crusade.

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cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: Feb 01, 2015 - 10:34 Reply with quote Back to top

Yarrrr!!!

I be in jubilant mood this here fine snowy evenin'. As I be leadin' me boys t' a great victory over th' Pearls.

We be settin' out with a great game plan which we be pullin' off t' perfection. I be tellin' me crew we be needin' t' take out them thar' catchers, 'n if we be doin' that it be smooth sailin'.

I be leadin' th' charge takin' out Tarachanar before th' Elves be knowin' whats happenin'. 'n Vito be knockin' out Cúthor with a great block.

At this point I be takin' a right hard knock on me head 'n had t' be patched up by th' ships surgeon. But by now th' lads be well in control o' th' game.

Constante then takes out th' formidable Uthaestor who be stoppin' breathin' fer th' briefest o' moments. Thar' surgeon sure be earnin' his wage t'day. Although he will still have t' be missin' th' Pearls next game.

Them thar' Elves almost be gettin' back int' things after a slip by Vito, but we be havin' th' numbers on them 'n recovered t' get th' ball back t' Pipes fer th' touchdown.

Th' second half see us hassle them Elves int' a corner where Constante becomes a thorn in th' side o' th' Elven team. In th' end them thar' Elves be havin' nowhere t' go 'n Constante pops th' ball free 'n runs clear int' th' Elven half. Thar be just time fer me t' injure another one o' them thar' Elven fishwives before Constante runs in th' touchdown.

Celebrations will be goin' all week in th' Lonely Grub if ye be passin' 'n th' drinks be on me. 'n if ye be really lucky I be lettin' ye touch some o' me new muscles.

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cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: Feb 04, 2015 - 11:22 Reply with quote Back to top

Welcome to
On The Grind
Season 3 Round 6

Sponsored by Cabalvision

B -"Welcome to tonight's episode of On The Grind, I'm Barty Silk."

T -"And I'm Thundgrim Ironside."

B -"Tonight we'll be looking at all the games from Round six."

T -"Let's take a look at the games for the South Eastern Division first."


Vercuso Pearls vs Unguths Vilesons
Scourge of Sartosa vs Sartosa Shipwrecks
Barrak Varr Ironclads vs Mora Pro Asur
Irrepressible Quarriers vs Pavona Parole Program

B -"That's a great line up Thundgrim."

T -"It sure is. And to kick us off we have the high flying Vercuso Pearls against the resurgent Vilesons."

B -"The Pearls have yet to lose a game on the field this season. A draw against the Ironclads and the reversal of the result against the Scourge are the only blips on an otherwise successful season. A win here for the Pearls will leave them in a great position going into their last game of the season."

T -"Where as the Vilesons started the season with three defeats. But with that great draw against the Shipwrecks and a draw last round against the Ironclads they are brimming with confidence."

B -"This a good game to watch with both teams having chances. The Vilesons did what they do best and removed some Elves with strong blocks and the elves did their thing running in a couple of fast touchdowns."

T -"Midway through the second half and one touchdown behind, the Vilesons had a great opportunity to secure a draw. But unfortunately some bad blocking decisions allowed the Pearls to steal the ball away and run in a third and final touchdown."

B -"Final score three one to the Pearls."

T -"Next up we have a titanic local derby between the League topping Scourge of Sartosa and the current title holders the Sartosa Shipwrecks."

B -"The Scourge come into this game having only conceded one touchdown all season."

T -"And that touchdown was scored by an illegal player and was later reversed."

B -"The Shipwrecks on the other hand have struggled a bit in recent games. Having suffered their first ever defeat to the Parolees and a surprising draw against the Vilesons."

T -"Aye, and they will be missing two key players here today. As their Captain Uberto Neri and influential Blitzer Lazzzaro Muzzeti."

B -"Things started bad for the Shipwrecks in this game as stand in Captain Silvio was quickly sacked of the ball and left needing treatment in the injury box."

T -"The loose ball couldn't be collected by the Scourges Ulfwereners and then some bad blocking allowed the Shipwrecks to recover. Things went horribly wrong for the Scourge from then on in."

B -"That it did. I've never seen so many deaths in a grind ball game before."

T -"Aye, it was thrilling to watch."

B -"The Shipwrecks took advantage of the damage they caused and Pipes was able to run in two touchdowns to secure the victory. Final score two nil to the Shipwrecks who play the Pearls in their final game of the Season."

T -"Wow, that will be a great game. Whoever wins that will take the top spot of the Division for sure."

B -"My condolences to the families of the Scourge players who lost their lives. It will take a long time for the Scourge to rebuild after this. And the loss of three of their key players will be mourned by many a grind ball fan."

T -"Our next game sees two struggling sides face off against one another. Barrak Varr Ironclads vs Mora Pro Asur."

B -"Yes, both of these teams have only managed one win each so far this season, it will be interesting how they fair this fine evening."

T -"Alas my kin the Ironclads could never really get going full steam. They managed a few casualties, nothing serious. And even got themselves a touchdown but they just couldn't handle the speed of the Elves in the end."

B -"That's right Thundgrim. Mora Pro had the better possession and they made it count, running in two nice touchdowns. Final score two one to Mora Pro."

T -"Our last game in the South Eastern Division was the Irrepressible Quarriers against the Pavona Parole Program. Unfortunately the Quarriers were unable to attend the meeting."

B -"That makes things interesting for the final round as any of the top four could take take spot now. Lets see how things will line up for each of our top four."

T -"The Scourge will take on the Vilesons and with the heavy losses they incurred today they may find it a struggle."

B -"And the Parolees face the Ironclads who will be without either of their troll slayers."

T -"But the big game will surely be the Pearls against the Shipwrecks."

B -"Indeed, many people including myself have been looking forward to a meeting between these two teams. It will be interesting how that game plays out."

T -"Well that's all for the South Eastern Division. Now lets take a look at all the games from the North West."[/i]

Miragliano Red Pox vs Tobaro City Guard
Black Company of Remas vs Blighted Marshes Brawlers
Ironfist's Nomads vs Castello Cabolleros
Miragliano Madratters vs Skurvy Buccaneers

B -"There's some great games there Thundgrim."

T -"There sure is. First up is the Miragliano Red Pox against the Tobaro City Guard. The last time these two met the Red Pox came away with the victory. Could the Guard turn the tables on the Red Pox this time round."

B -"Yes they could Thundgrim with both Leo Vassallo and Ecclesio Fragale performing particularly impressively. The Red Pox couldn't really get into the game as they were shut out by the Guards tight Defense. Final score two nil to the Guard."

T -"Next up we have what should prove an interesting battle between the Black Company of Remas and the Blighted Marshes Brawlers. Both of these teams are desperately looking to reach the playoffs this year."

B -"Well this game had all the makings of a classic, but I have to say I was disappointed. Both teams had great opportunity's but mistakes and bad play by both sides led to a painful game to watch."

T -"Aye, the Black Company head coach was so sure of his teams defeat on multiple occasions that he even congratulated the Brawlers coach on the win, twice."

B -"Never give up is what I say, and it looks like some of the Black Companies players felt the same way. They never lost spirit and finally got the ball free and launched a pass down field to Guseppe to run in the winning touchdown."

T -"Final score two one to the Black Company."

B -"Our next game sees the Dwarven Ironfist's Nomads take on the Skaven Castello Cabolleros."

T -"This was a bad game for my kinsmen the Ironfist's. They were hitting well but they just couldn't keep hold of the ball."

B -"Whereas the Cabolleros were in fine form with the whole team contributing to a well deserved win."

T -"On the plus side super fast gutter runner Diego Ratadonna breathed his last breath. Many teams will be glad they don't have to face him again. Final score three nil to the Cabolleros."

B -"Our last game for this evening sees the Miragliano Madratters play the Skurvy Buccaneers."

T -"The last time these two met the Buccaneers won four three in a thrilling game. Lets hope that we'll see some more of the same tonight."

B -"What a game Thundgrim. These two really know how to put on a show. Stinky Pete of the Ratters and Shice of Black Chasm of the Buccaneers were both in fine form scoring two touchdowns each."

T -"In the end the Buccaneers came out on top, securing the win three to two. That makes for an interesting last round in the North Western Division."

B -"It sure does, lets see how things stand."

T -"The Black Company, the Guard and the Brawlers all sit at the top of the group with twenty six points each. While at the bottom of the group on twenty points are the Madratters and the Nomads."

B -"It really is close in the North West. Depending on the results any of the teams could secure a place in the playoffs.

T -"Aye, what games should we be looking at in the next round Barty?"

B -"Red Pox vs the Brawlers and the Black Company against the Guard really stand out as the two most important games."

T -"Well I'll keep my fingers crossed for the Nomads. Although they'll have their work cut out for them against the Buccaneers."

B -"Well that's it for tonight folks"

T -"Join us next week for our last round before the playoffs."

B -"I've been Barty Silk."

T -"And I've been Thundgrim Ironside."

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cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: Feb 10, 2015 - 23:28 Reply with quote Back to top

Welcome to
On The Grind
Season 3 Round 7

Sponsored by Cabalvision

B -"Welcome to tonight's episode of On The Grind, I'm Barty Silk."

T -"And I'm Thundgrim Ironside."

B -"Tonight sees the final round of this seasons Grind Ball."

T -"And what a season it's been Barty."

B -"We have some great action for you tonight. Any of the top four could make the play-offs. Let's take a look at what's happening in the South Eastern Division first."

Vercuso Pearls vs Sartosa Shipwrecks
Scourge of Sartosa vs Unguths Vilesons
Barrak Varr Ironclads vs Pavona Parole Program
Mora Pro Asur vs Irrepressible Quarriers

T -"First up we have the game you've all been waiting for. The new up and coming stars of Grind Ball the Vercuso Pealrs against the Grind Balls reigning champions the Sartosa Shipwrecks. In a game that will likely decide who will top the Division."

B -"Both teams come into this game with their teams at almost strength. The Pearls are oozing confidence having not lost a game on the field in their last fourteen games. If you don't count the game against the Scourge which was reversed."

T -"Whereas the Shipwrecks have struggled early in this season suffering their first loss in twenty seven games at the hands of the Pavona Parole Program. Although they have bounced back fast securing some decent wins in the last couple of rounds."

B -"The game started well for the Shipwrecks as they managed to take out most of the Elven Catchers including Super Star Uthaestor. Outnumbered and outflanked the Elves made a desperate last attempt to win the ball."

T -"And it almost worked Barty as the ball was knocked free. But the Pearls just didn't have the numbers to recover it. The Shipwrecks were easily able to collect the ball and hand it off to Pipes for the Touchdown."

B -"The second half the Elves struggled without any Catchers on the field and continued to lose players to injury. They did get close to the Shipwrecks endzone but were thwarted by Constante who stole the ball away and ran almost the complete length of the pitch unopposed, to secure the win and the Shipwrecks place at the top of the Division."

T -"Final score two nil to the Shipwrecks."

B -"Next up we have the Scourge of Sartosa against Unguths Vilesons. The Scourges come into this game with their team in disarray after a brutal game last round. While the Unguth Vilesons are at full strength. And a win for the Scourge could see them into the top two of the South Eastern Division."

T -"The Vilesons took advantage of the weakened Scourge side and were able to fight their way to a one nil lead at half time. The Scourge did manage to fight back to level terms but it wasn't enough. As after some powerful blocking by the Orcs they managed to put themselves back on top."

B -"Final score two one to the Vilesons."

T -"Up next sees the Barrak Varr Ironclads take on the Pavona Parole Program."

B -"The Ironclads have really struggled this season having lost four of their six games so far. And the Parolees have had a mixed season, winning two, losing two and having two games given to them as it seems some of their opponents don't seem to want to travel to their prison stadium."

T -"And who could blame them Barty, I know I wouldn't want to set foot in a place like that again."

B -"Again?"

T -"Aye lad, I spent some time in a penitentiary in my misspent youth. The less asid about it the better."

B -"A win here for the Parolees could see them into the playoffs. The Ironclads made quick work of the Parolees Blitzers knocking most of them out. But they didn't make things easy for themselves as the ball was knocked free a couple of times."

T -"Torin Darkbreaker was on hand to grab up the loose ball and run in the touchdown. The Parolees scored fast in the second half to set up a tense finish to the game."

B-"A perfect defence and a failed pick up put the Dwarves under pressure as the Parolees split the offensive line in two. A desperate pass landed in no mans land but another failed pick up this time by the humans allowed them back into the game."

T -"With time running out both teams got men around the ball with no one in scoring range. An attempted push play by the Parolees didn't play off and the final whistle sounded. Final score one all, giving the Parolees just enough points to move into the play-offs."

B -"Our final game in the South Eastern Division sees Mora Pro Asur face off against the Irrepressible Quarriers. Both of these teams have found this season hard going. Especially the Quarriers who have lost four games and forfeited another of their six games so far."

T -"Mora Pro have been more successful but they just couldn't stand up to the might of the top four of the South East."

B -"The Quarriers were hitting hard today, but they just couldn't contain the Elves. The Quarriers had a chance to draw things level but a poor defensive cage allowed an easy block on the ball carrier which almost saw Mora Pro score a third touchdown."

T -"Final score two one to Mora Pro Asur."

B -"Thats all from the South Eastern Division. Let's take a look at how things ended up at the top."

T -"Well the Shipwrecks have done it again, but it wasn't all smooth sailing this time round."

B -"And the Parolees are there with them being the only team to have beat them. The play-offs look set to be great game."

T -"Let's move on to the North Western Division where things are more open and depending on the results any team could make it into the top two."

Miragliano Red Pox vs Blighted Marshes Brawlers
Black Company of Remas vs Tobaro City Guard
Ironfist's Nomads vs Skurvy Buccaneers
Castello Cabolleros vs Miragliano Madratters

B -"First up we have the Miragliano Red Pox vs the Blighted Marshes Brawlers. Both of these two teams have struggled in recent weeks and have both suffered two losses on the trot."

T -"A win here for the Brawlers could easily see them in the play-offs if not top of the group. While the Red Pox need to win and need the other games this round go their way if they hope to stand a chance at a play-off spot."

B -"Unfortunately for the Red Pox the Brawlers were in blistering form. Even Rirkz the Claw finally showed some of that fierce hitting power that made him last seasons top hitter."

T -"Aye, that was a brutal display by Rirkz. I think that may well be a Grind record, four casualties in one game."

B -"It certainly helped in this game as he paved the way for his team to run in four touchdowns. It looks likely that the Brawlers will top the group after such an efficient win."

T -Final score four one to the Brawlers."

B -"The only team who have a chance to pass them are the Tobaro City Guard who take on the Black Company of Remas next."

T -"Either of these two teams could reach the play-offs with a win here."

B -"This was a brutal game which saw two Ogres carted off the field. One dead and the other suffering his third serious injury."

T -"Aye, but it was the Black Company who come away with the spoils in the end. They were hitting harder and took advantage of the fact."

B -"Final score two one to the Black Company."

T -"They could well have nicked the second play-off spot with that win."

B -"It all depends on this next game, as the Ironfist's Nomads take on the Skurvy Buccaneers."

T -"The Nomads have had a mixed bag of a season, but are really finding it difficult keeping up with the faster teams and the amount of touchdowns that they score."

B -"The Buccaneers had a bad start to the season with a loss in their first game followed by two draws. But since then they have brought home some great victories which sees them within spitting distance of the play-offs."

T -"The Nomads really didn't have a chance this game as they couldn't really get their blocking game going. The rats were swarming fast and Shice of Black Chasm was swarming faster than most as he ran in three touchdowns."

B -"Final score three nil to the Buccaneers who move into the divisions second spot due to a greater number of touchdowns."

T -"Our last game for this evening sees the Castello Cabolleros take on the Miragliano Madratters. Due to the previous results from this evenings games neither of these teams stand a chance at a play-off spot."

B -"That's right Thundgrim. The Madratters have had a torrid season that has seen them pick up one win, although that was against league leaders the Brawlers. The Cabolleros had a bad start with two losses and a win but have since had a decent final coupe of games."

T -"The Ratters won the blocking war but they couldn't do enough to hold the Cabolleros back. Even outnumbered those gutter runners are a handful to deal with. Final score two one to the Cabolleros."

B -"Makes you wonder Thundgrim, if the Cabolleros and the Buccaneers had managed to have played their game would the table stand as it does now. Or would we have seen a different pair go into the play-offs."

T -"Indeed, well their you have it with a Skaven dominated North Western Division, which sees the Brawlers and the Buccaneers take the two play-off spots."

B -"That's all we have time for this evening."

T -"We'll be back to bring you all the action from the play-offs."

B -"I've been Barty Silk."

T -"And I've been Thundgrim Ironside."

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mister__joshua



Joined: Jun 20, 2007

Post   Posted: Feb 17, 2015 - 02:31
FUMBBL Staff
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The playoffs are underway, and it's not gone well for the Parolees who were taken to pieces by the Shipwrecks. It wasn't looking good from the start when their offensive drive went over a quarter of the match before unbalancing a single opponent. The Shipwrecks' counter was effective, but this was only the start of their misery. Blasio, though by some to be among the league's most talented players was cruelly chopped down in his prime when tripped breaking through the Sartosa line. Rumours are that he had the flu as his performances in recent weeks had been abysmal, but this was to be his last such performance - landing awkwardly and driving his own tooth through his skull.

It was quickly downhill from there, and talented blitzer Aluysio soon fell to injury before Leonardo had his nose smashed into his brainpan and crumpled to the dirt. The Parolees lined up with 5 players on their last drive - almost unheard of in Grind. Coach Franco has called out the Shipwrecks for a beating next time they meet, and has returned to Pavona with a handful of fresh pardon request forms waiting for the governors' stamp. He's promised a major rebuild in the off-season.
cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: Feb 17, 2015 - 09:50 Reply with quote Back to top

Ahoy thar'!!!

This be a right rip rorin' game fer th' Shipwrecks.

We be finally showin' them thar' Parolees a thing or two. Our defence be right fine 'n Ignacio did a right fine job o' stealin' th' ball away. Pipes then does what he be doin' best 'n gets that thar' ball int' space.

At this here point in th' game that thar' Ogre Blasio took a nasty fall. Any rumours that Rocco be visitin' with him before th' game with a bottle o' bad grog best be havin' some proof or they'll be seein' Davy Jones before too long.

We be takin' control o' th' game from then on out as we be givin' them thar' lice infested prison dwellers a right fine kickin'.

Pipes be scorin' four 'n he also be puttin' th' hurt on that thar' Parolee Catcher near th' end o' th' second half.

We be fightin' fit 'n ready t' defend our Grind title against some beat up rats.

Yo Ho Ho 'n away we go!!!

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FRSHMN



Joined: Feb 25, 2013

Post   Posted: Feb 18, 2015 - 17:25 Reply with quote Back to top

Please welcome the latest contender to the Grind League as their representatives walk onto the extemporary raised stage.

The coach steps forward and turns on the agogly waiting crowd, his deep voice echoing from the surrounding buildings.

HEYA, FOLKS AND FOLKETTES. LE'ME INTRODUCE M'SELF T'Y'ALL:
I AM
TRITON MAELSTROM,
SCION OF THE WOLF,
BLADEMASTER OF THE SWORN FELLOWSHIP
AND BUTCHER OF GRUNK, THE GOBLIN KING.


He stretches his arms into the nightly heaven of Remas and paces up and down the stage.

WE 'AVE SHED OUR BLOOD ON VARIOUS SKIRMISHES N' BATTLES AND SHOWED COURAGE WORTH THRICE OUR PAY.

Something in the voice of General Triton puts the crowd out of sorts, the mood of everyone slowly changing from cuiosity to anxiousness.

AN' WHAT DO THEY ASK... NOOOOO... WHAT DO THEY EXPECT US TO DO NOW??? ENTER A SPORTS GROUND AND PLAY BALL!?

Everyone on the plaza now is aware that this for sure isn't the usual introduction of another Grind squad.

ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT... WE SIGNED THAT CONTRACT, WE'LL FULFILL THAT CONTRACT.
BUT BEFORE WE'RE DONE, YOU WILL BEG US TO STEP BACK. BEG US FOR THE LIVES OF YOUR PLAYERS, TEAMS AND SPORT. BECAUSE WE'RE THE DOGS OF WAR, WE HAVE PICKED UP THE SCENT AND WE WON'T STOP UNTIL WE HAVE GRABBED THEM AT THEIR THROATS.

WE ARE THE
War Dogs of Remas!!!



And with these final words, the other soldiers on the stage sound their Howl of Wolves, this frightening tone for what they are infamous for and that put a vast number of opponents to flight. And so do the spectators in a wild haste.

Seconds later, the plaza is emptied with only 12 men standing on a stage... laughing.
cowhead



Joined: Oct 22, 2006

Post   Posted: Feb 24, 2015 - 08:36 Reply with quote Back to top

"Th' final be upon us 'n th' lads did not be disappointin' me.

We be gettin' th' jump on them thar' lice riddled rats 'n Pipes be doin' what he does. It be four t' nothin' by th' end o' th' first half 'n them thar' rats be right fed up.

Th' second half Pipes be gettin' another two touchdowns t' secure a landslide victory. Vito almost be scorin' right at th' end but one o' them rats be gettin' in his way.

We now await our trophy 'n I will need t' be thinkin' hard as t' what two players I need t' be replacin' fer th' team t' be followin' them thar' TGC rules.

Right lads t' th' Lonely Grub fer as much grog as ye can be drinkin'."

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FRSHMN



Joined: Feb 25, 2013

Post   Posted: Feb 24, 2015 - 22:43 Reply with quote Back to top

In today's Grind Open Match, the War Dogs of Remas welcomed the Pawona Unlawfuls at the Elysian Kennels. While the match itself was a safe bet for the Unlawfuls, the real action occured at the sideline:

The Rose of Death got her neck broken by Galiazzo Nencini, the misogynic Ogre blind-siding her with a brutal block. As soon as she regained consciousness, she swore vendetta!

The War Dogs of Remas as well as the contract holding family back this legal claim for retaliation and will support her in in any and every possible way.
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