| Poll |
| KPL |
| Oh, yeah, Iam in. |
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46% |
[ 70 ] |
| Iam outta here |
|
17% |
[ 26 ] |
| PIE: is this a pointless poll or what? |
|
36% |
[ 54 ] |
|
| Total Votes : 150 |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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 Posted:
Feb 05, 2016 - 15:06 |
 
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Nobnibblers and Bedouin have to retire one saw each. Bonshakers some how, beyond belief picked up a second one in the draft.
At the end of season #6 each team can only have one relic of the 5 relic types on their team before we do the draft. All the extra ones go back into the draft. |
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pythrr
Joined: Mar 07, 2006
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| Posted:
Feb 05, 2016 - 15:45 |
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so, this zombie
Regeneration, Stab, Kick, Guard (36spps)
loses his knife ... that means he get a new skill roll, right? |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Feb 05, 2016 - 16:15 |
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| pythrr wrote: | so, this zombie
Regeneration, Stab, Kick, Guard (36spps)
loses his knife ... that means he get a new skill roll, right? |
That is correct
And it should be frenzy! He is now so enraged he has become a berserker in a frenzy rage looking for his knife...who in the hell stole it!!!!????
Or
If he rolls a double it should be PileOn!!!! Everytime he knocks some one over he piles on looking through their pockets, waist bands, jock straps and boots. You never know where a thief might hide "his" knife. |
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chimp2010
Joined: Jul 01, 2011
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| Posted:
Feb 05, 2016 - 16:27 |
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| PainState wrote: | | pythrr wrote: | so, this zombie
Regeneration, Stab, Kick, Guard (36spps)
loses his knife ... that means he get a new skill roll, right? |
That is correct
And it should be frenzy! He is now so enraged he has become a berserker in a frenzy rage looking for his knife...who in the hell stole it!!!!????
Or
If he rolls a double it should be PileOn!!!! Everytime he knocks some one over he piles on looking through their pockets, waist bands, jock straps and boots. You never know where a thief might hide "his" knife. |
I like it! pythrr might be just nuts enough to go along with that train of thought lol.
On another note... If I (by some miracle) still have both saws at the end of the season, I have to get rid of one (fair enough). Can I then get lucky again and draw one in next seasons draft again? Taking our total back up to 2. |
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m0gw41
Joined: Jun 12, 2012
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| Posted:
Feb 05, 2016 - 16:43 |
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pythrr is such a horrible min-maxer that he will pick block for sure... or will he go with the fluff? |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Feb 05, 2016 - 16:53 |
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| chimp2010 wrote: |
On another note... If I (by some miracle) still have both saws at the end of the season, I have to get rid of one (fair enough). Can I then get lucky again and draw one in next seasons draft again? Taking our total back up to 2. |
Every team at the end of season #6 will have to dump relics back into the draft if they are over the limit of 1 per type.
This happens before the draft.
So, if you are lucky enough to pick up an extra one in the draft that is fine.
Also you will be able to roll for all your multiple relics on the relic chart and then decide which one to dump. |
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WhatBall
Joined: Aug 21, 2008
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| Posted:
Feb 05, 2016 - 19:47 |
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The great Husqu al-Manshar has retired. With 40 active games, I believe he was the oldest un-living chainsaw in the KPL. He sustained -AG, -AG, -AV, -ST, and countless other regenerations of deaths, broken limbs and severed heads. He took a beating, but dealt out the occasional hurt as well.
I am sure I speak for all KPL coaches when I say he will be sadly missed.
 |
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Antithesisoftime
Joined: Aug 20, 2014
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| Posted:
Feb 05, 2016 - 19:55 |
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| WhatBall wrote: | The great Husqu al-Manshar has retired. With 40 active games, I believe he was the oldest un-living chainsaw in the KPL. He sustained -AG, -AG, -AV, -ST, and countless other regenerations of deaths, broken limbs and severed heads. He took a beating, but dealt out the occasional hurt as well.
I am sure I speak for all KPL coaches when I say he will be sadly missed.
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Good riddance
May retirement leave him bored, and sad, and lonely for the remainder of his unlife eternity |
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TheSpydyr
Joined: Dec 11, 2013
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| Posted:
Feb 05, 2016 - 20:06 |
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lol |
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The RNG is not broken, you are not "the unluckiest coach in the world" and the computer does not cheat, you just suck.
A DM only rolls the dice because of the noise they make -- Gary Gygax |
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Meanandugl
Joined: Feb 05, 2013
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| Posted:
Feb 10, 2016 - 01:55 |
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Sooo, the first game of the new KPL season is in the books. In an all-rookie game the Bandits (Settra followers) lost 0:1 versus the Soldiers (Nagash devotees). On top of that the bandits lost 1 skellie and another was crippled. It was an extremely intense game with tons of surprising moves, clever manouvring and lots of td chances. The Bandits coach left the pitch totally exhausted. A potion (aka whisky) is hopefully doing its magic, and the Bandits team is confident that the coach will recover and hang on the whole season. But at this point in time nobody dares to forecast if the Bandit's first season will be their last. |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Feb 10, 2016 - 17:46 |
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Aha'mere of the Numas Tomb lords is elated and honored that he will be keeper of the holy relic chainsaw. His child hood dream of wielding a weapon of great power is finally realized.
His team mates are all around him, fascinated with the new chainsaw.
But there is a problem.
No one knows how to start it or how it actually works.
A few of the skeletons start searching You Tube tutorials on how to start it up.
Finally one of them declares he has it figured out!!!!
Ah'mere picks up the 15lb chainsaw of death and destruction. Holds it and is pleased.
"Ok, you need to move that knob there."
'Check"
"then you need to what is called prime the 2 stroke engined, press that little button on the side 5 times."
"Check"
"Then pull on the pull cord, 5 times, short strokes."
"Check"
"Now turn that button the other direction."
"Check"
"Ok, now you are ready. You put the chainsaw on the ground, then with one hand hold it down and the other hand you pull the starting cord."
Ah'mere offers a prayer to the old Gods. He pulls on the starting cord and the Chainsaw comes to life. He can feel the power and majesty of the relic revving in his hands.
He rises with the chainsaw in hand, holds it high over his head at lets out a mighty war cry!!!!
The chainsaw hits the dangling lamp that was above him. The cleats on the chainsaw bite into the metal chain and it starts wrapping around the chainsaw blade. In a split second the chain breaks, the chainsaw swings back down at Aha'mere with lightning speed, it is out of control.
The chainsaw DECAPITATES Aha'mere with a nice clean stroke. REGEN FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!
The chainsaw crashes to the ground,slowly revving.
The other players are in shock!! Then their shock turns to fear as they notice that the chainsaw has not turned off, it is spinning around slowly on the ground. It seems to be looking for its next victim.
The Tomb Lords run at a full sprint yelling and screaming to RUN, RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!
A few hours later TheSpydyr contacts Rah-ma to inform him that his new relic is a possessed demon from the 4th plane of hell. It killed one of his players, 2 cats, his favorite table is now kindling and it is currently working on chopping up his living room.
Could he please send a priest over to the Tomb Lords HQ to shut this thing down and take it away.
***********************
So TheSpydyr showed up in chat.
here is what happend.
"How do I make the roll"
"Let me show you, now this roll does not count it is just to instruct you on how to roll."
PainState rolls: a 2 DEATH!!!!!!
"Man, you are a lucky SOB."
TheSpydyr rolls the dice....... 2 DEATH!!!!!!!!!
"@&@^#%@%$@!$%!^&#*#&(&*@*^&%@^&$@!%$@^&"
"PainState feels bad, so I allow him a divine saving throw, IF I roll another 2, so 3 in a row, the Gods have intervened and saved you.
PainState rolls the dice: 10
To bad, so sad.
So the chainsaw will now go into the hands of Settra to be handed out after week #4 in the KFC. |
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Comish of the: |
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TheSpydyr
Joined: Dec 11, 2013
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| Posted:
Feb 10, 2016 - 18:18 |
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lulz...it was sooooo funny in the chat...when I rolled snake eyes right after PS rolled snakes....I couldn't stop laughing! |
_________________
The RNG is not broken, you are not "the unluckiest coach in the world" and the computer does not cheat, you just suck.
A DM only rolls the dice because of the noise they make -- Gary Gygax |
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chimp2010
Joined: Jul 01, 2011
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| Posted:
Feb 10, 2016 - 19:18 |
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You still sure the RNG aint broken!?!?!? Joking! But that is hilarious! |
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NerdBird
Joined: Apr 08, 2014
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| Posted:
Feb 17, 2016 - 03:45 |
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PainState
Joined: Apr 04, 2007
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| Posted:
Feb 29, 2016 - 16:13 |
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Rah-ma is sipping his tea, reading a gripping book about a banished street urchin and his quest to win the kings daughter's heart, set in a futuristic world 40k years from now.
He is startled by the sounds of pain, suffering, death and then, yes, there it is, the sound of a head being lopped off.
He grabs the book of Nuffle and runs to the throne room.
He runs into the throne room and comes to a halt. CARNAGE!!!!!!!
Tomb King Settra sits on his golden throne, he has a cloth out and is cleaning his two handed sword, it is covered to the hilt in blood, gore, brain matter and intenstines. He has this far off look and Rah-ma can sense the hurricane of violence raging in his King.
Rah-ma slowly approaches the throne, he looks down before the throne. Laying in a massive pool of blood and hacked off body parts lay three coaches of the KPL. THE HORROR!!!!!
Poor Animefreak lays there, with no head, blood still flowing out onto the ground.
Suttbut, but why him? Has been cut in two by one of Settra's massive blows.
Phillipprocter though, you can barley make him out. Settra took his time on him, slowly torturing him, cutting off parts one by one, not fatal but just enough to slowly take the life out of him. Once his suffering was over, Settra whacked him around 15 times and hacked him up into kibble bits. Food for his pet jackels.
Rah-ma stands there for 15 minutes waiting for Settra to speak or show signs that is anger has finally faded.
"Is it over my King?"
"Yes, it is time we moved on. These 3 before me where not worthy of the KPL, so I have solved the problem.
I was gone just 4 days and I return to this Rah-ma."
"Yes, it did seem like the ship went off course with out your guidance."
"Well, Coach Valen will take over the spot of procter. We will have to fill 2 spots in the KFC. I will begin my search today."
"I will make all the arrangements right away to get coach Valen moved into the KPL."
"Good, now I have handed down the forfeits in the NFC.
Nummulites will get 2 pts
Scurvy Dogs will get 2 pts
SandSailors will get 2 pts."
Settra stands up and scans the Throne room one last time, turns and leaves. As he is walking out into the palace garden to get some fresh air the sounds of breaking flower pots can be heard in the throne room.
Rah-ma turns and goes back to his quarters to pick up the pieces, he thinks to himself, here we go again. |
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