cowhead
Joined: Oct 22, 2006
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 Posted:
Jun 26, 2016 - 14:54 |
 
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Newscast
First day of the Pre Season
Welcome Sports fans to CLG TV our newscast for all things College FUMBBL.
I'm Thundgrim Ironside" said a mean looking Dwarf with stumps where his legs should be
"Arrr!, 'n I be Rocco Napolitano." said the former Pirate and Grind Ball player
Thungrim - "Let's have a look at some of teams we have playing for you this evening."
Carcassonne
Unicorns
Bretonnia
Thundgrim - "What do you make of the Bretonnians Rocco?"
Rocco - "Lily livered Wood Elves 'n some fancy lookin' Knights in shinin' bleedin' armour, that be all I be seein' thar' me hearty."
Thundgrim - "Ahem, yes well."
Border Prince
Ball Hawks
Border Princes
Thundgrim - "What say you about the lads out of the Border Princes?"
Rocco - "Err, be that 'n Elf 'n a Dwarf playin' on th' same team?"
Thundgrim - "It surely is Rocco, I couldn't believe it myself the first time I saw it."
Rocco - "This here team be hurtin' me noggin', 'n Ogre 'n a Vampire? Arrr!!!, I need me some rum." He said pulling out a bottle and having a swig
Thundgrim - "Okay, moving swiftly on."
Wolves of
Kislev
Kislev
Thundgrim - "I hate to ask, but what is your opinion of the Wolves of Kislev?"
Rocco - "Hairy! They be too bloody hairy! Be that a Werewolf on th' pitch? 'n if I not be mistaken them thar' men be wearin' Bear fur. What th' world be comin' t'. Bear fur on th' Blood Bowl pitch."
Thundgirm - "Hrumph! I think it best if I take over now. Next!"
Estalian
Sworddancer
Estalia
Rocco - "Bleedin' Estalians, ptooey." spitting on the studio floor
Thundgrim - "I like the look of this team they have the much adored Matador and great hulking beast of a Toro. They should certainly put on a nice show for the fans."
Rocco - "Now we be havin' bleedin' animals on th' pitch too. Bleedin' Estalians, ptooey." another glob of spittle hurtling to the floor
Averland
Angelfish
Averland
Thundgrim - "Here come the Halflings. They sure know a thing or two about cooking."
Rocco - "'n flyin' through th' air."
Thundrim - "Aye lad, that they do, that they do."
Middenheim
White Wolves
Middenland
Thundgrim - "Now this team looks special if you ask me. Players from around the Empire have been flocking to Middenheim to try and get a spot on this team."
Rocco - "That thar' College be havin' more Coaches applyin' t' it than any o' th' other Colleges."
Thundgrim "Rightly so if you ask me."
Tilean
Buccaneers
Tilea
Rocco - "Yarrr! Finally a team I can be gettin' behind. Back on Sartosa th' were many a young fellow me lad who be leavn' home t' try out fer th' College Team. Makes me wish I be twenty years younger."
Thundgrim - "More like forty years younger if you ask me. Well those are teams that are playing this evening. We'll have a quick word from the head of College FUMBBL relations Reginald P. Thurgood."
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During the course of our first day many young lives were cut short on the Blood Bowl field. We would like to take this opportunity to apologize to all the families who have lost a loved one. We will be compensating those families handsomely.
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Thundgrim - "That will be some severance package I can assure you. Mark my words we'll have more parents than ever trying to offload their young-uns to College in the hopes they bite the dust."
Rocco - "Yarr! I now my brood would be th' first in line t' play. I could definitely be usin' th' extra coin in me purse."
Thundgrim - "Anyway, on with the show. What's the first game we have for this evening Rocco?"
Rocco - "Border Princes vs Bretonnia."
 vs 
Thundgrim - "This was a good game to kick of College FUMBBL Rocco. It had touchdowns it had death, it had Dwarves, it had Elves, it had Ogres, it had a blood thirsty Vampire."
Rocco - "Grrr, all on th' same bloody team. Bleedin' Border Princes."
Thundgrim - "The Unicorns received first and had no trouble breaking the Ball Hawks defence. They managed to stall out some of the half down by the Ball Hawks end-zone, but had to run it in as the the defence started to rally."
Rocco - "They be leavin' th' Ball Hawks too much time on th' clock though. 'n a bad kick be seein' a touchback makin' oh so simple fer th' Ball Hawks t' equalise."
Thundgrim - "The second half and some great blocking by the Border Princes Dwarf Glegnar Stonesplitter saw the Unicorns players start to dwindle. I like the looks of that there player."
Rocco - "Arrr, of course ye would. One o' th' Unicorns Blockers Edmond Poing d'Acier be makin' a desperate attempt t' halt th' Ball Hawks advance 'n trips over his own feet."
Thundgrim - "Did you see that! That had to hurt! Ball Hawk lineman Jakob Øvre Have took a nasty boot to the downed Blockers head. He's not moving! The apothecary is on the pitch, he looks over at the bench and just shakes his head."
Rocco - "Øvre Have be rightly sent from th' pitch by th' referee but this here game be takin' a right nasty turn."
Thundgrim - "Did you know that all Blockers in the Bretonnian squad get a blessing from the Lady of the Lake."
Rocco - "Aye, 'n what were Edmonds blessing if ye please?"
Thundgrim - "I believe Edmond was blessed with good fortune."
Rocco - "Pah, hahaha, good fortune, hahaha."
Thundgirm - "I saw the Lady of the Lake once, I blew her a kiss and she just flipped me the finger."
Rocco - "That be a mighty fine wench, I'd sure like t' give her th' fi..."
Thundgrim - "If I could interrupt you there Rocco as the Ball Hawks have run in a touchdown to win the game. Final score 2-1. Next up we have the Wolves of Kislev against the Estalian Sworddancers"
 vs 
Rocco - "This here be hard fought by both teams with th' Wolves Wolf sufferin' a pretty bad knock early in th' game, seein' him sidelined fer th' rest o' th' match."
Thundgrim - "The Wolves managed to push on without him and early in the second half saw fan favorite Matador Nicolás Montoya carted of the pitch in a body bag."
Rocco - "I be seein' many a young lass in th' crowd weepin' inconsolably after that be happenin'."
Thundgrim - "Many of them were probably his lovers, these Estalians are not really known for being discreet."
Rocco - "Th' Wolves be finishin' strong t'was not a good day t' be a sworddancer. Final score 1-0. Next up we be havin' Averland Angelfish facin' off against Middenheim White Wolves."
 vs 
Thundgrim - "Another entertaining game and another player meets his maker."
Rocco - "So that be three deaths in three games now. This here be more bloody than a normal Blood Bowl match. 'n these here games are meant t' be friendly."
Thundgrim - "Aye it is a tough sport no denying. The White Wolves struggled in this game. The delicious smells coming from the Angelfishes dugout was have a real effect on their players game."
Rocco - "Them thar' Halflings sure put on a good meal. Me old cook on th' Gilded Scythe used t' whip a right fine meal. Though truth be told I'm sure I be eatin' Human, Dwarf even a bit o' Halflin' flesh in me time. When th' ships holds be runnin' low on supplies some o' th' ships crew would vanish in th' night. Only fer 'Tiny' t' have mysteriously found some fresh meat fer us t' feast upon."
Thundgrim - "Erm, yes. Back to the game at hand. The Angelfishes managed to control much of the first and finished the half up 1-0. But in the second half the White Wolves started to up their game. They shook of the distraction of the food wafting from the sidelines and equalized with the clock running out."
Rocco - "Arrr, but all not be over. That thar' Treeman be havin' th' bright idea t' grab one o' them halfin's 'n launch him down th' field with th' ball in his hands."
Thundgrim - "It was a sight to behold for sure. Findak Merfire sailed through the air and landed with ease and just waltzed past the stunned White Wolves defensive line to run in the touchdown. Final score 2-1 to Averland."
Rocco - "'n now ont' our last game fer this here evenin's show. Th' Carcassonne Unicorns versus th' Tilean Buccaneers, yarr! Come on Tilea. Wait a minute didn't we already be havin' th' Unicorns earlier?"
vs 
Thundgrim - "This was a pretty sad display from the Tilean side. The players were making simple mistakes to plays they had practiced again and again in training. Coach awambawamb was seen leaving the stadium in disgust at the end of the game."
Rocco - "Th' Unicorns seemed t' have recovered after that thar' earlier defeat t' th' Ball Hawks. They be startin' th' game with a moment o' silence fer thar' fallen comrade Edmond Poing d'Acier."
Thundgrim - "I'm surprised you can actually pronounce that name."
Rocco - "Grrr, th' Unicorns dominated most o' th' game with both o' thar' Elves gettin' a touchdown. Th' Buccaneers star player also managed t' get on th' score sheet with a consolation touchdown. 'n if ye belive it no one died in this here game. Final score 2-1 t' th' Unicorns in thar' fancy armour."
Thundgrim - "Well that's it for tonights show."
Rocco - "We be hopin' ye enjoyed it 'n be seein' ye next time"
Starts to fade to black
Rocco - "Damn it I think i be soilin' me breeches again."
Thundgrim - "Would some one tell me why we hired this drunken fool. Get me Barty Silk back, we had a good thing going on." |
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Rabe
Joined: Jun 06, 2009
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| Posted:
Jul 04, 2016 - 00:23 |
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A letter from the far east.
Dear fellow coaches,
my long journey has come to an end for now, or so it seems. After months of inconvenient travel, I have arrived at the city of Shang Yang, entry to the Empire of Cathay, guarding the passage through the Mountains of Mourn. A great city, most impressive!
I was surprised to find quite a few Tileans here, even - as I soon found out - in the local college's football team. Another pleasant surprise: Throughout the Empire of Cathay, the big colleges are currently looking for coaches to lead their teams to glory. I happily applied to the one of Shang Yang and I'm expecting positive reply soon. I'm sure they will find my vast experience with the Agility Monsters and other, less famous teams most impressive!
I'm aware that this message will take ages to reach the Old World and I wonder if it makes sense at all to write it... but yet here is hope. When you read these lines, I'll probably be head coach of the Shang Yang College football team, celebrated and of high renown.
For now I'll head to bed. It has been a long day.
Best regards
Rabe
Shang Yang, 2nd of June 2516 |
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cowhead
Joined: Oct 22, 2006
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| Posted:
Jul 09, 2016 - 00:22 |
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College FUMBBL
NEWSLETTER
With the Old Worlds pre season over the Colleges are putting the final preparations into plan for the upcoming regionals.
Here's a quick look at how the divisions line up.,
Northlands
Kislev - The Wolves of Kislev look like the strong favourites in the Northlands with handler Arinbjorn Orlygsson impressing with his great strength.
Ostermark - The OMU Manticores struggled a lot pre season, failing to score even one touchdown. If they don't get things together this could be a real bad year for the Manticores.
Nordland - Nordland College was another team who struggled to begin with. But they managed to put together a great win against Regional opponents the Wolves of Kislev.
Ostland - Wolfenburg College managed to stay undefeated in their pre season, with draws against the Raiders and the Woodmens and a win against the struggling Manticores.
Eastlands
Border Princes - The Ball Hawks looked very good pre season. They were the only team to win all three of their pre season friendlies.
Averland - After an impressive opening display against the White Wolves the Angelfishes started to flounder. If talented handler Birkodd Sharpeye can stay fit this team may do well.
Stirland - The Nightguards had a strange pre season being neither defeated nor victorious. With three draws to their name this team will be hard to predict.
Wissenland - The Boomsticks had a turbulent start to the season as the College FUMBBL governing body made some changes to what players the team are allowed to field. This didn't stop them showing promise for the season ahead with two wins.
Southlands
Middenland - The White Wolves had mixed pre season with a win, a loss and a draw. Their hopes for the season ahead rest on the shoulders of the much improved Carolus Pfrommer who may yet outshine his more talented team mates.
Reikland - The Raiders didn't fair well in the pre season with two hard defeats. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel as they managed to secure a draw in their final pre season game. And with Arnould the Reliable they have a player any team would desire.
Talabecland - This team are one to watch. The Eagles went undefeated in all their pre season friendlies. A draw against the Nightguards was the only blip on an otherwise perfect start.
Hochland - Much like the Raiders the Woodmens had a tough start with two defeats in a row. Their final pre season game was much improved but it still leaves the team looking for their first win.
Westlands
Wastelands - The Deck Hands had a fantastic start to their pre season. But a final game against the Wolves of Kislev cost them a perfect record and their most talented prospect Otto Blotto. Despite the set back they have some other fine talent coming through.
Tilea - The Buccaneers had a bad start to their pre season. Leaving the Bucs Coach fuming as his team were left to face some choice words. Their luck improved after the early disappointment with two consecutive wins.
Estalia - The Sworddancers couldn't really get going pre season. With a loss followed by two draws. Although Leo the Toro looks all set to terrorize the rest of the divisions defences.
Bretonnia - The Unicorns were another team to have a mixed start, a win, a loss and a draw. If they can get Wood Elf Clochette Fulgurante performing to his best then the team could be a surprise package.
College Events
A dusty scroll has been found hidden in your Reikland college’s library. Their brightest students have been working hard decipher its meaning. We have just been informed that the scroll holds the power of Lightning. That should put the fear into their opponents for the season ahead.
(Reiland Raiders get a Lightning Bolt to use for one game during the regionals.)
News just in of a break in at Estalia college. It looks like some old relics have been stolen and sold to their rival colleges. The angry Sworddancer Coach was seen entering the college security office, I wouldn't like to be a guard on that campus right now.
(Estalian Sworddancers opponents for this season get a free magic item card.)
A wandering magician has been seen at Border Princes college campus earlier this week selling some weird and wonderful trinkets. The college requisition department are sure they have found a rare and wondrous item for the Ball Hawks to use. After days of testing the item has been found useless and the wandering magician is nowhere to be found.
Hochland U. Woodmens have been seen working extra hard all week on playing better as a united Squad. It looks like the extra time training might actually pay off.
(Hochland U. Woodmens get a free extra team training for one game this season.)
Middenland college’s curriculum for this term has fallen well below par. Many of their FUMBBL players are struggling to find their way out of their dormitories, let alone find their way to the training pitch.
(All Middenheim White Wolves opponents for this season get a free dirty trick card.)
The Referees union in the Wasteland have decided that referees in Marienburg deserve more pay. As such non-professional referees will be overseeing the Deck Hands games for this season.
(Wasteland U. Deck Hands get a free bribe every game for this season.)
The Halflings in Averland have been staying late to train and have perfected a new technique. The Angelfishes new Coach has had his biggest and strongest players hitting the small guys again and again until they get the technique just right. The Halflings might be sore now, but it just might save them from harm in the long run.
(For this season right stuff prevents the tackle skill when blocked.) |
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Balle2000
Joined: Sep 25, 2008
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Jul 18, 2016 - 18:48 |
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Coach B2K had just arrived at HORUMI CLAN COLLEGE, and was being taken around the campus by a neophyte. That is to say, it wasn't really a campus like in the Old World, actually it bore more resemblance to a monastery.
- Coach-sama, here you work on team.
They had entered the room which was to be his office. That is to say, it wasn't really an office like in the Old World, actually it was only a pillow on the end of a row of a dozen other pillows, lined up on an elevated straw math floor. Two monks sat in quiet prayer staring directly into the bamboo wall. With less than a foot between the wall and their faces.
- Coach-sama, here your uniform. Please always wear! Please study belt! Please no sandal on straw maths!
B2K stared down at a white robe, a yellow canvas belt, and a pair of traditional wooden sandals.
- Coach-sama, we translate to you the rules. See you tonight coach ceremony.
The neophyte handed b2k a parchment, bowed deeply, stepped off the elevated straw maths directly into his wooden sandals, bowed again, and walked backwards out through the curtains that served as a door, bowing yet again as he passed through the curtains.
B2K opened the parchment and read a random passage....
| Horumi Clan College Physical Discipline Dignitary wrote: | 
One day a hunter happened upon a snake killing a bird while hunting in the mountains. Then suddenly, a wild boar also appeared and began devouring the snake. The hunter thought about killing the boar, but after considering for a moment, he changed his mind. He did not want to be another link in such a chain, and cause his own death to the next predator which came along. On his way home, the hunter heard a voice call to him from atop a tree. It was the voice of a Tengu. It told him how lucky he was, for had he killed the boar, the Tengu would have killed him. The man moved into a cave and never killed another animal again.
Edible Materials Rule
At Horumi Clan College, you will be served only shojin ryori, there wlll be no eating of meat of any kind. |
- Oh dear... B2K sighed loudly. Although he had coached several teams in Nippon before, he realized he probably should have asked his agent more about the college before signing that 2 year contract.
He changed into his new garbs. The cold mountain air was already starting to bite at his toes.
The two monks remained motionless. |
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ahalfling
Joined: Aug 16, 2008
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| Posted:
Sep 05, 2016 - 15:37 |
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LEAGUE LEADERS (after Spring 2501 season)
SPP leaders
Shi (Fu Chow) -- 34
Valanduil (Border Princes) -- 24
Oye (Uruchi) -- 24
Xun (Fu Chow) -- 22
Pfrommer (Middenland) -- 21
Orlygsson (Kislev) -- 21
Stonesplitter (Border Princes) -- 20
Mixer (Wasteland) -- 17
Sodsson (Kislev) -- 17
Zaidi (Martek) -- 16
Fulgurante (Bretonnia) -- 16
TD leaders
Shi (Fu Chow) -- 9
Xun (Fu Chow) -- 6
Mixer (Wasteland) -- 5
Ch'un (Shang Yang) -- 5
COMP leaders
Maoshi (Fu Chow) -- 9
Cao (Fu Chow) -- 6
Duncan (Wasteland) -- 6
CAS leaders
Stonesplitter (Border Princes) -- 5
King Mu (Shang Yang) -- 5
Sodsson (Kislev) -- 4
Chao (Shang Yang) -- 3
Cassius (Tilea) -- 3
Alqatil (Lashiek) -- 3
Alqadim (Lashiek) -- 3
Panada (Gandharva) -- 3
T. Pierce (Wasteland) -- 3
S. Pierce (Wasteland) -- 3
Basher Jr. (Martek) -- 3
Hong (Weijin) -- 3
Clearly, these early-season statistics are suspect, with no team having more than six games under its belt... and some having zero. But a few things are clear.
Fu Chow, and to a lesser extent the Wastelanders of Marienburg, seem to be the most passing-focused teams in football. Notably, Fu Chow has the two leading scorers and the two leading passers in the league... four different players. With a shift from a two-receiver to a three-receiver offense and the recent injury to Xun, though, it remains to be seen how the Tide's "Fu 'n' Gun" aerial attack will evolve. (Is there some correlation between mercantile wealth and favoring the passing game? These are clearly two of the best-equipped teams in the game today...)
Meanwhile, three teams had two players among the SPP leaders, with the Border Princes' unlikely tandem of Valanduil and Stonesplitter joining Maoshi/Xun of the Crimson Tide and Orlygsson/Sodsson in Kislev. Shang Yang, Lashiek and the Wasteland all have multiple casualty threats. |
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Beat Claw, Play AV7
(Hell, I ran a forward passing orc team back in the '90s. You probably shouldn't listen to me. Ever.) |
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CastleMan
Joined: Apr 26, 2013
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| Posted:
Sep 05, 2016 - 23:19 |
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