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Grod



Joined: Sep 30, 2003

Post   Posted: Jul 29, 2019 - 13:30 Reply with quote Back to top

So, no Khorne or Brettonian? Can we take a vote on them?

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MrCushtie



Joined: Aug 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Jul 31, 2019 - 21:59 Reply with quote Back to top

Death Watch Week 7

Image Avo Smash Toast, Goblin Looney, sent to see God by Allan, the Chaplain. 0 SPP.
"A whole season without a kill, and then wiped off the pitch."
"Well, you ask for Avo Smash Toast, and that's what you get Jim."


Image Aradone, Chaos Dwarf Hobgoblin , blocked by Wang x Yangming. 2 SPP.
"Aradone? Aragone, more like!"
"Bob, Aragon was an elf from the Deserted Isles, not a hobgoblin."
"Is there really that much difference, Jim?"


Image Uncle Mao, Chaos Chosen Warrior, shown that a hard punch is better than five floppy fingers by Khorharr Ironhand. 11 SPP.
"Cor! Ha! That's what all the ladies are saying."
"Are they, Bob? Are they really?"


Image Da Niao, Chaos Beastman, fouled by Targ Bronzehammer. 1 SPP.
"You can't live in the past, Bob."
"Yes, but that beastman can't live in Da Niao either."
"That almost made sense, Bob."
"Thanks Jim!"
"Almost."


Image Violet, Elf Catcher, hit by a rock. 51 SPP.
"Everyone in the Southern Wastes likes some Violet Crumble, don't they Jim?"
"That's right. And with Violet taking that hit from the crowd, we lost our most qualified player of the week."
"And of the season, too, I think."
"Well, no Bob. Hundie was on 54 SPP when he took that hit from Leptobrachium Smithi III back in week 2."
"That's right Jim. But then again, Hundie wasn't suffering from -"
"Suffering? Violet was sick?"
"Yup Jim. A bad case of ...
The Curse Of The Death Watch."
"Oh come on Bob, not this again."


Image Hattie, Skaven Lineman, had her hat and her socks knocked off by Sceledrus Black. 0 SPP.

Image Cory Deephammer, Lizardman Skink, hammered by Nae. 0 SPP.
"Did they try to take this skink to rehab?"
"I think they said nae, nae, nae."


Image Albert Weakbrook, Lizardman Skink, won't be a journeyman any more after failing his dodge. 0 SPP.

Image Folsblat went splat when he failed a dodge. Necromantic Ghoul, 25 SPP.

Image Mary Crickett, Dark Elf Lineman, hit for six by Geidi Primes. 17 SPP.

Image Durggan Stoutbelly, Dwarf Blocker, ironically enough now a very low level dwelling after getting hit by Bubba the Bungalow. 0 SPP.
"I'm torn, Jim. On the one hand, I hate bungalows, but on the other, I don't think much of dwarfs either."
"Well, Stoutbelly's torn too, Bob..."


Image Limber Lynda, Wood Elf Treeman, was Cerberus barking up the wrong tree? If a treeman falls in a game of Blood Bowl, can anybody hear it? 2 SPP.

Image Liv Moore, Necromantic Zombie, didn't live more after a block from Jan Alley. 6 SPP.
"Technically speaking, zombies aren't living to begin with."
"That's very live-ist, Bob."
"Sorry, Jim."
"Well, it's not like you to be so insensitive."


Image Fudge Smear, Necromantic Ghoul, off to some not-so-sweet dreams as he got fudge smeared by Impak. 16 SPP.
"Finally Impak justifies his star player status, Jim."

Image Baltharel Break-Branch, Wood Elf Lineman, break-branch-broken by Torvinn Orcslayer. 39 SPP.

Image Candy Cane, Necromantic FleshGolem, lit up by Neon Joe. 24 SPP.
"A second big hit for Neon Joe this season. Turns out orcs are worse for Candy than candy is for teeth!"

Image Tiramisu, Necromantic Ghoul, went surfing at the end of the season. 24 SPP.

"Well, that's a turn up for the books, Bob. I thought we were going to rename Pugs Not Drugs to Pugs Not Deaths after they didn't take a single casualty in two seasons."
"Almost two seasons. After that spanking by [adult swim] they're not looking such a good prospect for players who don't want to die. Again."
"Well, without further ado, let's start our review of the season with a look at the egregious prizes nominated by our official sponsors, Offal House."
"Offal House? I thought we were being paid by IHOP?"
"What, the Intestinal House Of Pain? No, they've been taken over by Squig-a-fila and don't want anything to do with Blood Bowl any more."
"Shame, Bob. A real shame..."


Egregious Death Watch Awards
These awards were found inside an old cupboard and are not officially endorsed by the Southern Wastes League. Your home may be at risk if you pay attention to any of these prizes. Use extreme caution when boasting about your prowess. Credit extended to anyone over the age of 85 if accompanied by both parents.

The Gently Does It My Dear Darling Award is a three-way tie this season, between Kraka Drak Kneecappers, Cystem Of A Nurgle and We'reWho, none of which managed a single kill, not even in their Trials of Blood.

The You Can Take It But You Can't Dish It Out Dish goes to Blood Crag Stripes. A truly excellent display of grit from the little lizards, losing five players to deaths with only one kill in return, but still soldiering on through the season.

And in the same division, it looks like the Blackwater Cockfighters grab the You Can Dish It Out But Can You Take It Butter Dish.

"What on earth is that, Bob?"
"It's the award for the team with the highest number of kills and lowest number of deaths. With a 4-1 record, those Norse are almost the exact opposite of the Stripes."
"Thanks for clearing that up, Bob."
"No problem, Jim."
"No, I mean, thanks for clearing up that mess of flesh over there, Bob. There's a broom you can use while I get on with the Egregious Death Watch Awards"


The It Took You A While But Thanks Anyway Limited Edition Soup Tureen has unfortunately been smashed to pieces after six different teams all qualified by not losing a single player until week 7. Sorry, Kneecappers, TingBuDong, Raiders, Who!, Pugs and Gunfight, we'll try to glue it back together for next season.

(Good luck gluing your players back together.)

The Magnus Magnusson You've Started So Why Didn't You Finish Armchair will be presented to the Highshire Darknuts, after they killed two players in their Trial of Blood and then couldn't manage a single kill in the season proper.

As predicted, Bravado take the esteemed Glass Cannon Wedgewood Crystal Glass Cannon after topping the league with 4 kills this season, while still losing 3 of their own players. Close on their heels were the Secret Runners of Sydney with 3 kills and 4 deaths, and there's some muttering that Chrimean Chimera should have scooped the award this season with a lovely 3-3 death-to-kill ratio. Better luck next time, lads!

Up in the Premiership, last season's champions the Blue Mountain Giants have been the ones to beat (up) but Clayfinity did a great job of protecting his talented midgets. Not a single death this season gives him the Over Protective Unopened Roll Of Bandages.

"Didn't Redgum's Rationalists also keep every member of their team alive?"
"Yes Bob, but that's why we have these seemingly arbitrary decisions to make."
"And Praag Riders and Refreshingly Dead too!"
"Yes, but they were disqualified from the Unopened Roll of Bandages for having apparently made a non-suicide pact when they refused to play each other in the last round."


Here's A Tube Of Embrocation Tube Of Embrocation for the most battered team goes to -

Have you got a stutter, Jim? The last two prizes have just you been saying the same words over and over again."
"It must just be the emotion, Bob. Anyway - "
"It's Secret Wasteland Love, isn't it? They've been taking casualties all season long - "


In a last game surprise, the Here's A Tube Of Embrocation Tube Of Embrocation for the most battered team is awarded to Labrat Elysium for a total of 13 deaths and serious injuries. Although the elves are complaining that they sustained more deaths, we don't listen to dead elves.

Speaking of elves, the Gently Does It Kid Gloves were given to three different elf teams this season, the Port Royal Poachers, Yeast Lords and Wildwood Windlords who couldn't manage a single kill between them. It is called Blood Bowl for a reason, you know.

And finally, the award everyone has been waiting for with bated breath, the Killiest Killer Of The Southern Waste Leagues for Season LXXVII goes to...

... goes to...

...the Orcidas shoelace salesman who contributed to five deaths through failed dodges this season. Right, let's pack up and go before any angry players try to kill us.

Careful out on the pitch, there's a target on your back...

5 All Stars received serious injuries this season. From the divisions, we had one death, the Rising Star Emperor Of Sand. It's unclear if the Curse of the Death Watch was what got him. The Curse was implicated in just under 10% of all deaths this season, but only 2 serious injuries. Most popular injury was a smashed hand.

Loec's Loggers lost the most SPP to deaths this season (74) while another Wood Elf team, the Wildwood Windlords lost only 2 SPP from dead players. What is it with those elfs? (to say nothing of the Redskins, the Kneecappers and the Elysium who all excelled at sacrificing rookie players to appease the wrath of Nuffle).

The number everyone cares about, the Goblin Destruction Index, showed oozeboss's mean streak, with the Sutho Shire SharkBait (B team) dishing out 3 kills for only 1 death and 6 serious injuries, while the Singed Poor Scoundrels could only manage 2 kills, sustaining 2 deaths and 7 serious injuries. A healthy team is a strong team, remember?

And in graphical format, here's all the deaths in order, by type:

Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image

Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image

Image Image Image

Image Image Image Image Image
Image Image Image

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Image
Foad



Joined: Sep 02, 2007

Post   Posted: Aug 02, 2019 - 15:00 Reply with quote Back to top

Season LXXVIII - Late Draft
--------------------
Danish_Dan - Wood Elves

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They see me Trollin', they hatin'...
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Balle2000



Joined: Sep 25, 2008

Post   Posted: Aug 06, 2019 - 20:36 Reply with quote Back to top

The script has been run, injuries cleared, journeymen removed, and cash injected. You may start the buyback process.

Check your team here: http://info.swl.org.au/post-season/77


BONUSES


+120k Forfeit Bonus
Nuffle's Decaydence LictorZ


+60k Forfeit Bonus
Pugs Not Drugs mushoomy
Kraka Drak Kneecappers DanteMordicain
Secret Wasteland Love Daudy
Praag Riders Mateuso
Trondheim Hammers bigmac666
Gongoth Gargantuans almic85
Refreshingly Dead BigBullirs



+200k Prem Bonus
Waaaaghton Redskins Pyates16
Pugs Not Drugs mushoomy
Bravado ramchop
Immortalis Inquietus Faulcon
Didgeridead Balle2000
Lab Rat Elysium D_Arquebus
Phoenix Academy Bobs
Yeast Lords Fool



+150k Conference Bonus
Styx αnd Warpstones JPM
Blue Mountain Giants ClayInfinity
Bronzed Raiders Sharper
TingBuDong HandyKaufman
In De Nile exefokker
Secret Wasteland Love Daudy
Haunted All-Sorts Nebula753
Chrimean Chimera Bojoaph
Skye Hoppers! JoeKano
Secret Runners of Syd Grod
Trondheim Hammers bigmac666
☠Refreshingly Dead☠ BigBullies
Southern Horrortahs bmilner
Blackwater Cockfighters Foad
Malice Renegades! Yasmir
Darkmore tribalsinner



+100k Regional Bonus
Redgum's Rationalists Redgum
Port Royal Poachers pdarbs
Blood Crag Stripes Klazam
Nuffle's Decaydence LictorZ
Kraka Drak Kneecappers DanteMordicain
Praag Riders Mateuso
We'reWho! Mathfuric
Singed Poor Scoundrels MrCushtie
Dead Coast Decimators Psykka
Gongoth Gargantuans almic85

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