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ttorvatn
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2016-10-08 12:16:03
9 votes, rating 6
Newsflash DLE: Who would you rather meet if you're a famous player?
Carroburg Tageszeitung has recently analysed this seasons deaths and injuries to the Stars of the DLE League. The results were startling. Our local heroes, the Crimson Cascade has caused 280 TV loss Points, 120 against the Grizzlies (r5) and 80 each aginst the Foxes (r8) and the Sharks (r2). This Places them at the top of the League as the team who is hardest on the stars of the sport.

Head Coach Ttor Vatn, a Norse by birth, comments: "I did not know this, but I am not surprised. We have no respect for anyone. If you play us and expect that your reputation will save you from harm, you are about to make the last mistake in your life. Also, my men and women has orders to go for the stars. Get them out of the game, and the rest will hopefully fold." He adds "We play it fair, though. No injuries so far has resulted from a Cascade player fouling a downed player. Each and every fatal hit is in honest blocking situations, and that's the way we want it!"

Second on the list is the Griffins (270 points) followed by Wolfskins and Thunder at 220, and Unicorns at 180. These five teams have caused about 40% of the total TV loss in the League this season.

So, who would you prefer to play if you are a star with hopes to get through another match without harm? Try the White Wolfs or the Scimitars. They are the only teams who have caused 0 TV loss so far this season. Meeting the Wreckers, the Bucs and the Patriots is also a low danger project. Each of these teams have only caused 20 TV loss. "But isn't Dont'a Hightower the worst killer in the league?" Maybe last season, but not in this. According to the stats, he hasn't caused any TV loss so far. Dietmar Althoff, our local lead blitzer (1 kill this season; Foxes fourth draft blitzer Brandon Marshall) commented in the following way: "Hightower? Bah. He may be good at roughing up rookies, but when it comes to the real hard work, to get at the Stars, he's just an amateur. I'm coming for you in the Superbowl, Hightower! If your team comes as far as that!"

Brought to you by Hertha Wendlinger and Günther Schiele, Carroburg Tageszeitung.

(Apologies if it proves that my hasty notes are not a 100% correct... The general impression should be right, though. I used the injuries log in the war room, but had to cross-reference with playing schedules so I may have mixed up my notes somewhere...)
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Comments
Posted by darkwing2k6 on 2016-10-08 12:34:42
Several Sharks fans have taken to social media to point out that hitting hard is not everything.

One fan is quoted as saying "The great warrior, Rockae Balboae, once said'Its not how hard you hit but how hard you can get hit and still keep going'. The Cascade should take note. The Sharks have suffered more casualties than any other in the league, including the loss of their star Franchise Player Vince Wilfork. The Sharks are the #1 team this season with a 7-1 record, maybe the Cascade should worry less about hitting and start scoring, try and improve on that 3-4-1 record!"
Posted by Kaiowas on 2016-10-08 13:40:58
bahaha I didnt even notice this, soft Kaiowas is soft as usual. No matter how many boots or pile ons I try. I'm not going to complain though, doing well enough in the wins column
Posted by Matthueycamo on 2016-10-08 13:46:10
If you are talking about non rookie players Greenskins have only done 60TV of damage this season. Not quite the lowest but pretty low. If you go back to last season the only addition is a ST4 tackle lino but that was already -ag at the time of the match. So we only account for 30TV of that death.

So 90 TV across 16 games only 5.625TV per match, about 25% of the average loss per team in the injury table.

We have caused 40 cas which is about the joint 3rd most in the league since it's start, we just don't usually do any lasting damage. So you usually get beaten up, but you don't get killed :P
Posted by Oly1987 on 2016-10-08 14:26:26
Cas Diff: -8 (22/9/2 - 24/16/1)
Cas Diff: -1 (2/1/0 - 2/1/1)

The Wreckers cas stats dont make for great reading. The SI against especially.

Main priority now is to improve on our 4/3/2 record especially as we finished season 1 5/1/2 in the regular season
Posted by bghandras on 2016-10-08 16:34:28
Most TV loss?
"We play it fair, though. No injuries so far has resulted from a Cascade player fouling a downed player"
So there is room for improvement. :P