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2017-10-08 10:19:08
6 votes, rating 6
DLE - Assessing the KFC West
Hertha: “In the second part of the season, Carroburg meets the teams from the KFC West. What can we say about them, Günther?”

Günther: “Well, to be honest, this is certainly not the strongest division in the league! Patriots are of course the big player here. They have many strengths, not the least their two fantastic quarterbacks Bortles and Glennon, and no less than three other strong players. Their killer blitzer Douglas Winston is undoubtedly the best killer in the league right now, and together with killer blitzer Khalil Mack, the pair of them ensure a good number of casualties for the Patriots, who run the attrition and removal game almost every time. The Patriots have caused 47 casualties in their first 10 games, which turns out to 4,7 a game and puts them at the top of the list when it comes to dealing damage. Even though they have never been in the SuperBowl, this team will certainly be a contender this year, as it has been any other season.”

Hertha: “And they haven’t lost many players do far this season either. Timmy Jernigan lost agility in the first match versus Universe, and kicker Dustin Hopkins was fired after being hit in het Eagles game. Their new acquisitions after midseason didn’t do too well in their second loss of the season against the vily Vikings, though. Upshaw, the strong lineman who came from the Marauders in exchange for Vinny Curry, damaged his back when piled upon by newly minted Viking killer blitzer Juqua Parker, and will be having problems for the rest of his career. DeSmelter broke some ribs after being tackled by Sean Spence. Thus, both acquisitions will be missing the crucial Wolfskins game.“

Günther: “Yeah, that will be a tough game, and another possible loss for the Patriots, but the rest of the games should be like 90-10 in favour of the Patriots. If they lose more than 1 point in the last five games it will be a sensation. Thus my guess is at least 9 more points, bringing them up to at least 24 points. More than enough for a bye in the play-offs, most likely together with the Universe. Scimitars is heading the Conference right now, and will certainly make the play-offs, but I do not think they will make the byes. They have the toughest schedule of those three teams, facing the Greenskins and the Rangers from SFC East as well as the 49ers, a resilient Razorbacks and a strengthened Eagles from their own division. So Pats and Universe for the byes, for sure!”

Hertha: “The other three teams in the division do not look very strong, though. All three teams managed only five points in the first half, and are thus the three bottom teams of the conference, except for the Sluggers with their one point. Any signs of who will be best among the worst, Günther?”

Günther:(shakes his head) “Not really. And all three teams will have a very hard time with the SHC North. Wolfskins and Vikings are much better teams, and they will have to fight very hard to get points from the Grizzlies and even the Crimson Cascade.”

Hertha: “If anything, my take on this is that the Classics is the one that will end up at the bottom of the division. They have sort of an off-season, and was lucky to get 5 Points in the first half. John Doe played an excellent first half against the Griffins and secured that win for them, sending both Griffins star quarterback Derek Carr and blitzer Miles Burris off seriously injured. But the loss of Matt Cassel was hard for the Classics. They have collected a large number of picks in the upcoming draft, though, so they will certainly come back strongly in Season 5.”

Günther: “Yeah, they are not without assets though, as Reyes is a decent big guy, John Doe a good killer blitzer and Walter Payton is a good back-up. And then they just enrolled Derek Carr from the Griffins to take over as quarterback, but they are definitely the team we believe will get last in the division.”

Hertha: “And we hold Griffins as better than the Thunderbolts, right?”

Günther: “Yes, but not with a large margin, so luck and injuries to key players is likely to be deciding factor between these two teams.“

Hertha: “The Griffins has a nice big guy in Chris Watt, and two nice blitzers in Branch and strong man Wilton Chamberlain, but Iverson and Doe are close to rookies. Their catcher group is nice, with strong and agile Floyd, agile Streeter, fast man Brooks and Duncan with Sidestep and Guard, but with Carr gone, Gilbert is not good enough to make reliable longer passes, and Kirkman is still a rookie. And the linemen are not much to write home about, possibly except Massaquoi, who has a permanent injury, making him more fragile.”

Günther: “That’s right. So we do not expect this team to take home much more than 5 points on the remaining 7 matches. It will possibly be enough for a second place in the division, but nowhere close to a wild card.”

Hertha: “Thunderbolts might still give them a fight for that second place. Their big guy is arguable the best in this division, even though his movement is restricted, and their blitzer corps is second only to the Patriots, with killer blitzer Ronnie “Nott” Lott, draft four first overall pick Arnold Miyers, Lavonte David with guard and stand firm, and sidestepping Tavon Wilson. Both quarterbacks have strong arms, but are otherwise pretty average, and the catcher corps is good, but not outstanding. They lost catcher Maquise Lee and team captain Eddie “The Heel” Johnson in a horrible game against the Eagles in week 5, which also gave big guy Moses and quarterback Hugo Umberto movement reductions, but have otherwise mostly avoided injury to experienced players.”

Günther: “Yeah. And Miyers has the potential to be a gamechanging player, but so far we haven’t see too much of him. And two wins against the Classics and Sluggers early in the season and now six losses in a row does not give us a lot of confidence in the T-bolts. We believe they will be lucky to get another 3 points in the remaining seven matches. Next season, though, they have a better chance, as they have good picks for the upcoming draft.”

Hertha: “So, to summarise, Patriots will take home this division, and probably go all the way to one of the byes in KFC. They will also be the only team to cause serious trouble for the SHC North teams. The other three should count themselves lucky if they can get a draw or a win against the Patriots and the SHC teams, and thus are left to squabble about the 6 points from their three internal matches. They may very well be divided equally, as they were in the first half.”

Günther: “Yeah. And some interesting matches left in this half should be the three internal matches, where Classics meet the Thunderbolts in week 10, Griffins meet the Classics in week 14 and Thunderbolts meet the Griffins in the final week 16. These matches will probably decide the rank these teams will get in their division. In addition, don’t forget to watch when powerhouses Wolfskins and Patriots clash in week 11.”

Brought to you by Hertha Wendlinger and Günther Schiele, Carroburg Tageszeitung
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Comments
Posted by asteflix on 2017-10-08 15:28:24
Horrible game against the Eagles in game 4 for the Thunderbolts. Every day I hope I meet the pats with the same luck I had against 71.
Posted by bghandras on 2017-10-08 16:01:58
I think the Vikings got that luck.
Posted by Arcayn on 2017-10-10 12:56:30
Great write up Ttorvatn. But I think Hertha missed Joe Doe's enhanced AV and ST to call him close to rookie ;)
Posted by ttorvatn on 2017-10-10 15:39:52
You're right. He must hide his muscles well for Hertha to miss them :)