In their final game of the season, the home team fought hard for their victory against arch-rivals Vikings. The fact that this loss sent the Vikings out of the play—offs made the victory all that much sweeter. You have our quarterback ready for an interview down there, Hertha?

Hertha: (turns to the blonde beside her in the mud-spattered crimson uniform) “Inga, this was a victory that felt really good, I’m sure! Tell us about it!”

Inga: (grinning widely) “It sure was! For once, even I can revel in a well-deserved victory. But there were tight spots, though. We start with the ball and our first drive ended with 7 Vikings players KO’d or injured, and we only had 1KO and two injuries. And then Bullocks got banned, of course. And then that thrice-damned riot that gave the Vikings extra time, just as we had set up to prevent an OTTD! One would think that our fans had better sense. Luckily, Wheaton can’t catch the pass from Lipican, and we can go to the break with a 1-0 lead. And then, the fans take action again! A pitch invasion at the start of the second half leaves all the Vikings players standing, but Stefan, Sofia and Wilhelmine is down. But then we show great spirit and fight our way back into the match, and force them to an early TD. And then, gods help me, the fans are starting ANOTHER riot! This time, we get better time, but still! And it’s fairly easy going as we outpower the Vikings until we get a bit too cocky and leave Durant unprotected, and the last turns of the second half is a rather undignified free-for-all scramble for the ball, that luckily ends with Cat grabbing the loose ball and scoring her second TD.”

Günther: “You were involved as well, weren’t you?”

Inga: “Oh, yes. Was just about to grab the ball when Mark hits me in the back and floors me into the mud. Took me a while to gather my thoughts after that hit! Felt like being hit by one of those dwarven steam rollers!”

Hertha: (turns to the other shorter slimmer blonde) “And we also have Catharina Jung here with us! Catharina, two TD’s to round off a great season for you! How does that feel?”

Catharina: “Oh, gosh… it’s like… walking on pink skies... Gosh, yeah, I think that’s what it’s like. So I’m over there and everyone is falling and blocking and pushing each other and there are failed passes and everything, and then the ball is free, so gosh, it’s just like on training and I can just pick it up and run it into that zone, you know…Gosh, can’t even remember what it’s called right now, I’m so giddy!”

Günther: (his eyebrows rising) “Right. Uhm. So you have nine TDs this season?”

Catharina: “Gosh! Nine, you say? Really? Well, that sounds… great, I guess?” She turns to Inga. “Can it really be? Nine?”

Inga: (pats her shoulder) “Take Günther’s word for it. I’m pretty sure he knows of what he is speaking!”

Catharina: (turns back to Günther) “Yes. Nine. I’m sooooo happy about that! And next year I will double it… no wait… “ she seems to think hard “that would be, like, 13… or wait, no it’s more like one every game so it should be at least 16… no, even more…or something. “ She sends Günther a blending smile.

Günther harrumphs, but Hertha cuts in smoothly: “We are happy for your progress, Catharina.”

Catharina: “Thank you, but you know, it’s Cat among friends. Gosh, not that I meant to be pretentious or anything but I hope I can call you friends… it’s like…” She runs out of words.

Günther: “And now offers have been made for your services from the Patriots, and…”

Catharina: (almost screaming) “What!” She turns again to Inga with distress in her eyes. “Please, don’t send me to… to that Broekwater place. It’s like… gosh, it’s like… a… a freaky fishing village! I’m sure it stinks fish all over the place. All my pay would have to be spent on perfume! And all my friends are here…”

Inga: “Relax, Cat. Nobody is sending you anywhere right now. Günther only meant to say that even other teams have noticed the great way you are playing! It’s a compliment, actually!”

Catharina: (obviously comforted) “Oh. I see!”

Hertha: (turns back to Inga) “So, you want to summarise the season for us?”

Inga: “I think we did a good season, considering our starting point. It was all about rebuilding and improving, and after a tough 0-1-4 start, we actually started grinding away and after that start, we did a 6-2-3 record which was pretty good. The two matches I was dissatisfied with, were the Rangers match, were we went in 16 players to 12 but didn’t manage to capitalize on it, and then of course the Classics match. I was really dissatisfied with that. Having survived the Patriots without permanent damage and even managing to kill their star catcher, we had big hopes for that match, but fell flat on our faces, and got Fugger killed. Janine was almost dead too, but the apo revived her. Seriously badly played by us. Otherwise, I was very happy!”

Hertha: “And becoming captain for this team of rascals after Hoffman left, how was that?”

Inga: (grins) “Feels just great! I tell you! And we have gotten some great players during this season. Janine is now fifth on the list of damage-dealing blitzers in the League, and both she and Stefan has high percentages of perms and kills. And with 9TDs Cat is top 20 among scorers. And Bullocks has shown the way when it comes to fouls, so in the future, do NOT think yourself safe on the ground when playing the Crimson Cascade! And they are all a great bunch to work with.”

Günther: “One point short of the sixteen you promised us, though!”

Inga: (shrugs) “I know. As I said, the Classics match... With a draw there, I would have kept my promise!”

Günther: “True. So for next season, what are you looking for?”

Inga: “I think we are almost all set. We will retire Monica and trade Cossmann and Gräbner to the Classics. And then we will draft four players; a new big guy, a mighty blow blitzer, a good lino and a fourth player which is undecided so far. I doubt we will do much more trades, but we still have one pick too many. We’ll see if a great offer comes on the table.”

Günther: “And for next season, what is your prediction?”

Inga: (grins) ”Learning from this season’s brash announcement, I’ll hold back on that judgement until I see the other teams! But first we will enjoy the play-offs and we expect to follow the Wolfskins around all the way to the Superbowl. Go Ollie and Sean!”

Hertha: “I guess we will see you around then, Inga! Won’t we, Günther?”

Günther: “We surely will. And once again Crimson Cascade has ruined a perfect prediction. Last season it was themselves that got in, keeping the Avalanche out. This time, they beat the Vikings and sent them tumbling out of the play-offs. The Knights benefitted from that and should definitely send some goodwill trades to the Crimson Cascade for that!”

Brought to you by Hertha Wendlinger and Günther Schiele, Carroburg Tageszeitung.