After a trying season 5 for our home team, where they went 0-1-15 and lost their whole blitzer squad, the draft for season 6 is now over. We have taken a chat with new headcoach of the CCC, former star quarterback Inga Dedekind, also known as the Queen of Blood Bowl.

Our star reporters are located in the restaurant level at “the Pool” in Carroburg, the complex that contains CCC’s training and match facilities. With them are Inga Dedekind, new head coach of CCC.

Hertha: “So, finally, Inga! Your first draft as head coach! How did that go?”

Inga: “I think we did well. Got the talent we need, but now we need season 6 to develop these talents. And then, if we can keep them and develop them right, we may be a contender again in season 7.”

Günther: “Two strong liners in Sigismund and Wanja and an agile catcher in Freija. These are talents that the CCC has never seen. How do you think they will manage, Inga?”

Inga: (grins). “As I said, we need season 6 to develop them, and then we will see.”

Günther: “And you have it all planned out for them?”

Inga: (grins wider) “Of course! That’s the fun part of being head coach for this outfit.”

Hertha: “Yes. About that. It came as a surprise when you took over as head coach before the last match against the Sluggers last Season. The only thing we heard was that coach Vatn had stepped back to allow other talent to take over. And since that no one has seen him. Can you finally inform the readers about the realities, Inga?”

Inga: (sighs). “I guess the story needs to be told, so yes, I can. “ She hesitates. “Coach Vatn did not take season 5 very well. He got a bit set back by all the losses against clubs he had hoped to play evenly with, and started to use certain… ah… mind-altering mushroom.” Inga’s tone indicates this is a difficult subject for her. “We, the players, told him it was our own faults, and particularly the ball-handlers’, who time and time again failed to pick up easy balls and catch easy passes. And that he was a great coach. And that we had success in every other dimension, like casualties caused and so on.” She becomes silent for a while. “And then came the death of our four blitzers. I think that unhinged him totally. He would retreat to his office, making drawings of more and more eccentric plays he wanted us to try. And when it came time for the press conference after the death of Turbin, he was in an almost psychotic state of mind, leaving me to hold the conference on short notice, like a couple of minutes…”

Hertha: (interrupting) “Which you did admirably!”

Inga: (smiles weakly). “Thank you. Anyway, after the last homematch of the season versus the Gunners, he marched the whole team out to the graveyard and wanted us to start digging up the corpses of Althoff and von Meyer. He babbled like a crazy man and said if 49ers could use vampires, we could use undeads, and he could again field Althoff, von Meyer, Hightower and Clarke, four of the best killer blitzers ever to have died in the league…. And maybe Schwenke as ogre and Coleman as quarterback and….” She shrugged. “I looked at Latimer and he nodded, and we took over and ordered coach Vatn and the team back to the Pool. Coach was sent to a secret location in Norsca for rehab, and Latimer and I drew straws for the positions of head coach and team captain.” She grins. “He won, by the way!”

A silence falls over the group of people, and Hertha is heard whispering “wow”. She recovers quickly, though, and continues gamely.

Hertha: “So, are you comfortable I the role as coach? You are, after all, the first female head coach of the DLE!”

Inga: “Well. Getting there, getting there…. The training part is fun, but there sure is a lot of paperwork and rules and regulations. One would think that DLE head offices had nothing to do but creating strange rules. For example, did you know that if we had given away the four current 4th picks we had for free, or given Hoffman away to the Wreckers for free, we could have drafted an even better quarterback? On the other hand, it was amazing just to be there at the draft. The excitement, the tenseness and to meet your fellow coaches in such an atmosphere! I already look forward to the next draft!”

Günther: “Before we let you go, Inga, we need to push you a little bit more about Season 6. Would you make any predictions as to your performance?” Just as Inga draws breath, he adds “And no more wait and see. We know your crew makes predictions!”

Inga: (grins). “Ok. Since you ask so nicely! Here is our analysis: We start with meeting the two 4th ranked teams from last season, which are the Manties and the Sharks. We think we will be able to overcome the Sharks and hope to play even with the Manties, so 3 points there. We then meet the North division of KFC, where we hope to beat the tanking Unicorns and perhaps get a draw against the Universe. Foxes are way too much better than our team, and Cardinals have way too much ball control for us to expect points. So another 2 or 3 points from these meetings. After midseason, we meet the SHC South division, and honestly, we cannot see how we can get points from those meetings. Currently, we expect a single point from a lucky meeting, but of course, a lot can happen until Midseason so maybe we can get another point or two, but we expect only one. And then we meet each team in our own division twice. Winning against any of these does not seem likely, but again we ca hope for a lucky point or two. Let’s say two, and that means we will make 8-9 points this season. We expect that this gives us a place somewhere around 25-28. Satisfied?”

Günther: “Yes, indeed!”. He smiles cautiously “And I think I like this coach better than the former one.”

Hertha: “And which players are you looking for to shine this season, Inga?”

Inga: “Gunther was absolutely right earlier. He identified Freija, Wanja and Sigismund, and they are absolutely central to our future. We need to protect these three, and build them up. I really hope to see Freija bloom, but we do not expect much from them this sesaon except that all three become ready for a great Season 7. For this season, I hope Goode will show that he can follow in the footsteps of Althoff and von Meyer. I also hope to see Ingithorsdottir join Goodee as the second POMB-er and that Kippenberger will develop into an alternate ball carrier and scorer to Freija. Finally, keep an eye on Ann-Katrin Lexer. This slum rat is expected to be a player in the true Von Kassel tradition. I only hope she can get better at covering her fouls, so she can stay longer on the field! The rest of the squad are there to protect these seven, and will be evaluated on that basis until they show me something great!”

Hertha: “That’s all from us tonight. We are looking forward to welcoming Sharks to the Pool for the first home match of the season. Be there or miss the fun!”

Brought to you by Hertha Wendlinger and Günther Schiele, Carroburg Tageszeitung.