“The play-offs started with a bang.

Jack, the famed killer berserker smashed into the Orc defensive line. Hagdish Guung stumbled backwards, lulling the Norse player forwards, before bracing himself and surging forward, assisted by Rark Snotling-Muncher. Just seconds into the match and the most feared Norseman on the pitch was being carted into the dugout on a stretcher.

Things went from bad to worse for the Lads o Liberty. Scrambling to recover, they grabbed the ball and moved towards the wide zone. However, Oddgit, shaman for hire, saw them coming and unleashed the mighty foot of Gork; all three Norsemen beneath its scaly green sole were crushed to the floor. Witnesses swear that one of the men was squashed completely flat, only to be re-inflated by the team apothecary.

With the ball bouncing lose, the Outlaws moved up to recover it. The blockers took up positions to cover it, but 'da Hammer', Egbert Jones, fumbled the pick up. Luckily, the team captain was once against well-placed; he caught the bouncing ball, before blitzing free just seconds later.

Switching to offence, the greenskins pushed forwards. Their inexorable advance was unstoppable, not slowed by either Brort Eralg's injury, nor Splurgle's obsession with the wax dribbling from his ears. Just before the half time whistle, Rark sauntered over the line. In celebration, he ripped the head of a snotling and proceeded to live up to his name.

The second half started as normal. The ball was retrieved without incident. With the Orcs having the man advantage, they began a solid drive.

Midway through the half, the Norse began to fight back. Overconfident, Brort Eralg had stepped a little too far forward, opened himself up to the blitz. The ball bounced free and despite the best efforts of several greenskins and one Ulfwerener, it landed on the ground. Luckily though, Nuffle continued to smile on the Outlaws and as Andrew moved to secure the ball, he missed an outstretched Orc leg and plummeted to the ground.

Moving swiftly, the Outlaws reorganised their play and got the ball to the secure hands of Bar Goblin-Drinker. Prior to this game, the big Black Orc had achieved nothing all season, but he stepped up to the challenge, shepherding the ball into the end zone.

Although Jack did manage to score a couple of casualties, it was a case of too little, too late and nothing could prevent the 2 nil victory by the Badland Outlaws. They now march on to the semi-finals of the Zlurp Nation play-offs, to face either the aerial might of Poacher's Pocket, or the evil Dwarves of who call themselves the Gears of Blood Bowl.

Tune in next time!”