“Playing slann? Bad idea. I mean, would you match your passing-obsessives against an entire team of potential intercepters? I used to have a rule that I would never play against slann or Nurgle because they mess with the passing g game too much, but now my rule is just never play against Nurgle - and not because of the disturbing presence, just because they're a stupid boring bashy bunch of yellow-green tedium.

So anyway, where was I? Oh yes, slann. Well, what I really wanted to do was play against Harad's Aterlanta Falcons, because my last outing against them was a humiliating disaster - and not because I lost, but because I played so badly I would have lost playing without an opponent - and I need to exorcise my demons. But sadly, no one else (no one sensible) seems to want to play them so I'm still their last opponent.

So it was Harad's slann or take my pick of bishy-bashy-smashers with MB coming out of their ears. No contest. Given that choice, I'll go the potential interception route any day.

As it turned out, interceptions were the least of my worries as I incompetently fumbled a hand-off on my first turn, and knowing the slann were all out of range, and it being my final action, I chose not to bother rerolling.
So for my next turn, I had two slann diving tacklers standing next to the ball. Well, I have sure hands, nerves of steel and safe throw - that's a pretty safe bet, isn't it?

No. Don't take that bet. You'll lose. Yep, I fumbled the pick-up.

I also lost the ball and gave up a touchdown, because that's the way these things work.

So, Wood Elf Offence version 2.0. This was better - though to be honest, it couldn't have been any worse. I threw a long bomb, I scored. Smiley face.

Then Harad badly hurt my thrower, so 3 for 29 was all he was going to get. Oh well, at least he survived. And at least he had plenty of company, with more players off the field than on for the start of the second half.

So needless to say, the second half was quick, and it pretty much ran to script, with the slann scoring a few more times, a couple more wood elves leaving the field and - just for form's sake - even an interception.

Interestingly, I seem to have finished the game with negative rushing - which is quite impressive, especially as I did manage two scores, but all in all it was another disappointing day out for my offence.

And I had to sack the lineman who took a -ST, even though I bought myself a spare apo and ended up not using either. Two Bloodweiser Babes would definitely have been much more useful.

Ah well, at least it's lunchtime now.”