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Wisconsin Honeygrues
P [L] Dark Elf

THIS... is the honeygrue. Watch it run in slow motion. It’s pretty badass. Look. It runs all over the place. “Whoa! Watch out,” says that bird. Ew, it’s got a snake. Oh, it’s chasing a jackal. Oh my gosh. Oh, the honeygrues are just CRA-zy.

The honeygrue’s been referred to by the Guiness Book of World Records as the most fearless animal in all the animal kingdom. It really doesn’t give a grue. If it’s hungry, it’s hungry. Ew! What’s that in its mouth? Oh, it’s got a cobra. Oh, and it runs backwards.

Now watch this. Look a snake’s up in the tree. Honeygrue don’t care. Honeygrue don’t give a grue. It just takes what it wants. Whenever it’s hungry it just, Ew, and it eats snakes. Oh my god, watch it dig. Look at that digging.

The honeygrue’s really pretty badass. They have no regard for any other animal whatsoever. Look at him just grunting and, Ew, eating snakes. EW! What’s that? A mouse? Oh, that’s nasty. Oh, they’re so nasty. Oooh look, it’s chasing things and eating them.

The honeygrues have a fairly long body, but a distinctly thickset, broad shoulders, and, you know, their, their skin is loose, allowing them to move about freely and they twist around.

Now look, here’s a houseful of bees. You think the honeygrue cares? It doesn’t give a grue. It goes right into the house of bees to get some larva. How disgusting is that? It eats larva. Ew, that’s so nasty. But look, the honeygrue doesn’t care. It’s getting stung like a thousand times. It doesn’t give a grue. It, it’s just hungry. It doesn’t care about getting stung by bees. Nothing can stop the honeygrue when it’s hungry. Oh, what a crazy grue. Look. Ew, it’s eating larva. That’s disgusting.

There it is, running in slowmotion again. See? Now what’s interesting is that other, other animals like these birds here, they just like to wait around until the honeygrue’s done eating, and then it swoops in to pick up the scraps. It says, “You do all the work for us, honeygrue, and we’ll just eat whatever you find. How’s that? Whaddaya say, Stupid?” Look at this bird. “Thanks for the treat, Stupid.” “Hey, come back here,” says the honeygrue.

Birds don’t care. And you know what? The jackals do it, too. Look at these little dawgs. They’re like, “Thanks, Stupid. Thanks for the mouse. See ya later.” The honeygrue does all the work while these other animals just pick up the scraps.

At nighttime, the honeygrue goes hunting, cuz it’s hungry. Look! Here’s comes a fierce battle between a king cobra and a honeygrue. I wonder what’ll happen. Look at this. There’s the honeygrue just eating a mouse, and then look. “Get away from me,” says the snake. “Get away from me.” Honeygrue don’t care. Honeygrue smacks the grue out of it. And the snake comes back and it lashes right at the honeygrue. Oh, little does the honeygrue know, FYI, it’s been stung. It’s been bitten. By the sna-ake. So while it’s eating the snake, Ew, that’s disgusting. Meanwhile, the poisonous venom is seeping through the honeygrue’s body, and it passes out. Look at that sleepy grue. Now the honeygrue’s just gonna pass out for a few minutes, and then it’s gonna get right back up and start eating all over again, cuz it’s a hungry little bastard. Look at this! Like nothing happened. Honeygrue gets right back up and continues eating the cobra. How disgusting. And, of course, what does the honeygrue have to eat for the next two weeks? Cobra.

The honeygrue.

Season 16: Goober Bowl Champions!
Season 17: National Title Champions!
Season 18: National Title Champions!
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
2
Ella "Ice Cream" Deli
Witch Elf
8 3 5 7
Dodge, Frenzy, Jump Up
+MA, Wrestle, +AG
   19 0 11 0 1 0 35/51 200k
(110+90)k
  
3
Newglarus Brewington
Blitzer
7 3 3 8
Block
Dodge, Kick, Side Step
 -ag 26 1 4 0 7 4 47/51 160k
(100+60)k
  
4
EAA "AirVenture" Oshkosh
Blitzer
7 3 4 8
Block
Dodge
 m 7 1 2 0 0 0 7/16 120k
(0)k
  
7
Kryten Leaps into Your Cage and Falls on His Coccyx
Assassin
6 3 4 7
Shadowing, Stab
   7 1 0 0 0 0 1/6 90k
(90+0)k
  
8
Lick "licker" Lixx
Assassin
6 3 4 6
Shadowing, Stab
Side Step
 -av 6 0 0 0 0 2 10/16 110k
(90+20)k
  
10
Kopp "Frozen" Custard
Runner
7 3 4 7
Dump-Off
Dodge, Block
   16 3 4 0 0 1 20/31 120k
(80+40)k
  
17
Sylvester Hardrock
Journeyman Lineman
6 3 4 8
Loner
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 70k
(70+0)k
  
18
Tristan Bluebone
Journeyman Lineman
6 3 4 8
Loner
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 70k
(70+0)k
  
19
Duane Coldorc
Journeyman Lineman
6 3 4 8
Loner
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 70k
(70+0)k
  
5 players (+1 player missing next game)  
Coach: happygrue Re-Rolls (100k): 4  
Race: Dark Elf Fan Factor: 12  
Current Team Value: 1260k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 390k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1380k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:39 (27/7/5) |TD Diff:42 (76 - 34) |Cas Diff:-36 (29/23/8 - 45/42/9)
Last Opponent: Rolla Gold Diggers