| # | Player Name | Position | Ma | St | Ag | Av | Player Skills | Inj | Cp | TD | Int | Cas | Mvp | SPP | Cost |
| 1 | Dye it Black | Blitzer | 7 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Block, Dodge, Tackle | | 1 | 5 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 27 | 100000 |
| 2 | Mr Mascara | Blitzer | 7 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle | | 1 | 4 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 30 | 100000 |
| 3 | A Lack of Interest in Non-Sexual Physical Activity | Blitzer | 7 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Block, Dodge | | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 8 | 100000 |
| 4 | A Perpetual Air of Discontent | Blitzer | 7 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Block | | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 100000 |
| 5 | Overflowing Corsets | Witch Elf | 7 | 3 | 4 | 7 | Dodge, Jump Up, Frenzy | | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 110000 |
| 7 | The Irrational Dislike Of Parental Figures | Lineman | 6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Guard | | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 70000 |
| 8 | Roleplaying White Wolf But Decrying TSR | Lineman | 6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Block, Dodge | | 7 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 16 | 70000 |
| 9 | The Misunderstood Sayings of Nietzsche | Lineman | 6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Kick | | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 70000 |
| 10 | The Monotone Wardrobe With Bloody Accents | Lineman | 6 | 3 | 4 | 8 |   | | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 70000 |
| 11 | The Peer Group of Anti-Peer Groupies | Lineman | 6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Block | | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 70000 |
| 12 | The Conformist Non-conformist | Lineman | 5 | 3 | 4 | 8 |   | -ma | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 70000 |
| 13 | The Painted Tears | Lineman | 7 | 3 | 4 | 8 | +MA, Block | | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 21 | 70000 |
| 14 | The Indistinguishable "Poetry" | Lineman | 6 | 3 | 5 | 8 | Block, +AG | | 6 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 23 | 70000 |
| 15 | The Untargeted Rage | Lineman | 6 | 3 | 5 | 8 | Guard, +AG | n | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 16 | 70000 |
| 16 | The Threat of Suicide | Lineman | 6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Guard | | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 7 | 70000 |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| |
| Team Name: | Gothic Cliches | Re-Rolls: | 4 |
| Race: | Dark Elf | Fan Factor: | 10 |
| Team Rating: | 190 | Assistant Coaches: | 0 |
| Treasury: | 10000 | Cheerleaders: | 0 |
| Coach: | nonchalance | Apothecary: | Yes |
| | | Team Wizard: | No |