| # | Player Name | Position | Ma | St | Ag | Av | Player Skills | Inj | Cp | TD | Int | Cas | Mvp | SPP | Cost |
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| 1 | John Flansburgh | Troll Slayer | 5 | 3 | 2 | 8 | Block, Dauntless, Frenzy, Thick Skull, Stand Firm | | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 7 | 90000 |
| 2 | John Linnell | Troll Slayer | 5 | 3 | 2 | 8 | Block, Dauntless, Frenzy, Thick Skull | | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 90000 |
| 3 | Mister Klaw | Blitzer | 5 | 3 | 3 | 9 | Block, Thick Skull | | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 80000 |
| 4 | Wicked Little Critter | Blitzer | 5 | 3 | 3 | 9 | Block, Thick Skull | | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 80000 |
| 5 | Rabid Child | Blocker | 4 | 3 | 2 | 9 | Block, Tackle, Thick Skull, Mighty Blow, Guard | n | 0 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 3 | 29 | 70000 |
| 6 | Cow Beneath the Sea | Blocker | 4 | 3 | 2 | 9 | Block, Tackle, Thick Skull, Mighty Blow | | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 9 | 70000 |
| 7 | Shoehorn with Teeth | Blocker | 4 | 3 | 2 | 9 | Block, Tackle, Thick Skull | | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 70000 |
| 8 | Blue Canary | Blocker | 4 | 3 | 2 | 9 | Block, Tackle, Thick Skull | | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 70000 |
| 9 | Hot Cha | Blocker | 4 | 3 | 2 | 9 | Block, Tackle, Thick Skull, Stand Firm | | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 9 | 70000 |
| 10 | Exquisite Dead Guy | Blocker | 4 | 3 | 2 | 9 | Block, Tackle, Thick Skull, Guard | m | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 12 | 70000 |
| 13 | Mink Car | Deathroller | 4 | 7 | 1 | 10 | Dirty Player, Break Tackle, Juggernaut, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Loner, No Hands, Secret Weapon | | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 160000 |
| 15 | Mr. Me | Runner | 6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Sure Hands, Thick Skull, Block | | 0 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 8 | 80000 |
| 16 | Doctor Worm | Runner | 6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Sure Hands, Thick Skull, Block, Pro | | 2 | 5 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 22 | 80000 |
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| Team Name: | They Might Be Giantslayers | Re-Rolls: | 4 |
| Race: | Dwarf | Fan Factor: | 5 |
| Team Rating: | 147 | Assistant Coaches: | 0 |
| Treasury: | 60000 | Cheerleaders: | 0 |
| Coach: | EvolveToAnarchism | Apothecary: | Yes |
| | | Team Wizard: | No |