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Poll
KPL
Oh, yeah, Iam in.
46%
 46%  [ 70 ]
Iam outta here
17%
 17%  [ 26 ]
PIE: is this a pointless poll or what?
36%
 36%  [ 54 ]
Total Votes : 150


PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: Apr 29, 2020 - 21:43 Reply with quote Back to top

We are up and running. Need one coach for Europe and two for North America.

So hit that big KPL below, check out the s. League rosters and get your team made and applied for season 7

_________________
Comish of the: Image
PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: May 03, 2020 - 06:39 Reply with quote Back to top

KPL Week #1 match updates

Tomb King Settra sits in his royal suite in the Khemri Death Star Stadium, the crown jewel of any stadium know to man. It seats over 200,000 fans and has some of the greatest and most over the top statues, murals and heads on spikes ever scene in a Blood Bowl Stadium.

His suite is filled with dignitaries, ambassadors and a few hanger oners who just want to stand around such powerful people. Settra is pleased and in grand form for the opening kick off of the KPL. A triple header of action. A all day affair and the entire city is either in the stadium or hanging around on the concourse or lining the streets just to hear the cheers of carnage and touchdowns.


The Honor of the first game of the new KPL with S. League teams went to the Rasetra Reptile Remnants VS Lahmian Harlequins and it did not disapoint any in attendance. In fact the only person who was beside himself in rage and disgust was coach Adorryable and after the match man did he scream and yell at the post game reporters and he won the freaking game. Settra was very amused when he heard the scree that Adorryable laid out to the press corp.

The match had turned into one big scrum when the ladies of Lahmia it seemed liked refused to pass blood lust rolls, I quess they where all excited with the 'moment' and could not control themselves. At one point it seemed like they wanted to fail blood lust just so they could bite some one. One of them even got bored with that and launched herself into the endzone crowd that had living spectators in it. A travelling band of bedouin came to the match to see the spectacle and watch female vamps run around in very provacative uniforms. Well they got their monies worth when she launched into their section of the stadium and went to town on some necks.

Remanats punched in a Turn 8 score at the end of the 1st half and it looked like all was in control. They had the lead, the vamps where all worked up bitting their own players, failing dodges left and right and could not seem to break their armor when the Harleguins managed to get in a hit or two.

And then it turned.......ugly.

On turn 6 the Harlequins managed to push one of the the Saraus Skeletons onto the sidelines and a Vamp, who some how managed to overcome her blood lust blitzed in and knocked him into the 5 row of section 118. Well those fans where all jealous that the bedouin in the endzone had such fun with that vamp decided to one up the endzone section. A mob of over 300 fans decended on that poor Saraus skeleton and went to town on him and I mean WENT TO TOWN!!! They each left the match with a bone momento of this opening match as they dismantled him down to the the last tooth. Yes, the fans where fighting amongest each other on who got a tooth. Needless to say....REGEN FAIL.
Did you Know? That there are 289 bones in a Saraus Skelton body and 28 teeth? I did not, until this match.

Then as the clock was winding down on the match. Vella, Priest of Nagash came charging in to cover the ball carrier, you know, making sure no last minute heroics would happen on his watch. Well the ball carrier went down and sudenly he sees the ball flying right at him like a arrow. He attempts to dodge the spiked ball but fails. The Ball hits him square on the shoulder and his entire right side explodes from the impact, as he falls to the ground he senses that Nagash is displeased. As he lays there on the ground he sees his right hand, still moving attempt to pick up the ball and then darkness overcomes him......REGEN FAIL!!!

KPL's first SPIKED Trophy winner of the season!!

************

After and hour or so, stadium attendants cleaned up the pitch and so forth the second match of the day was set to go.

Lost Ember Prophets VS Rasetra Renegades

The crowd was all worked up for this match a Rasettra mirror match with dueling Ball and Chain big guys, oh, they where excited to see this match.

And then it happened.

The opening kick off was a high kick, the crowd comes to their feet, they all know what this means, they watch the ball arch high in the air, they all look down to see if the Renegdes Priest was moving over to get the ball, they see the priest waving his arms, calling every one off that he had it. The fans yell and scream, the anticipation of failed catch and a spiked ball RIP was on every ones mind. The ball turns end over end and then decendes like a meteor towards Tlenheyec. The place explodes with cheers, boo's and Holy &^%$ as Tlenheyec catches the Spiked ball like a legendary catcher, the grace and agility, the pure confidence he showed inspired the fans as he tucked the ball under his arm and ran up field, not missing a stride.

The first half just turned into one titanic scrumm at midfield. Ball and chain working back and forth across the LOS, both sides looking like they where going to break through and then the other side would repulse them and send them back. Eventually the Ball and Chains went under the scrumm not to be scene and then the dust settled and both B&C players where in the dug out unwrapping them selves from the chain prisons they found themselves in. In the end though the ref showed pity on them and just ignored them and let them have another go at it in the second half.

The second half started off briskly, a total change from the first half. The Lost Embers actually move the ball down field and show a little prowess at ball handling and caging. They punch in the score late in the second half but the Renegades seem to have a chance. The Renegades once again field the ball and start moving up field. Tlenheyec has ball in hand and is moving with alacrity down the lower side, calliing out the play. He looks up and realizes he only has once chance to tie this up in the dying seconds of Turn 8. He scans the field, and passes the ball downfield to the only player who can score, he is covered in a TZ and it is looking grim. He lets the ball loose, it flys in a perfect spiral, the ball speed is amazing, the fans are thinking something is up here. Did the Renegades manage to find a departed Legend thrower from ages past, is he still a legend player and some how the necromancer has disguised his ancient history from everyone? He lets the ball go and it flies true and straight, 6 on the pass.

That was when the Renegades realized they had a problem....Houston, we have a problem.

We are all amazed at the Blood Bowl skill and IQ of Tlenheyec but we failed to realize that Te'atl-Kripur is just fighting for his life out there. He has no freaking clue what to do beside punch some fools in the mouth, smash anyone who gets near him and on occasion have to pick up the ball. He fails to realize that a spiked ball is flying towards his head at a very high rate of speed and it has some very nasty intentions. He hears their Priest yelling something on the lines of Heads UP!

He looks up and that was when he realized he was toast. The Ball smashes square into the chest, the ball hits his #4 right in the number, perfect pass. The Ball smashed his entire torso, his entire upper body explodes like a bomb. Bones go flying all over, players start to duck and dodge the flying body parts, afraid they to would suffer a horrific fate. Te'Tal lays on the ground and thanks the gods he does not have to do this any more.....REGEN FAIL!!!!!!

SECOND SPIKE TROPHY AWARD is handed out in week #1.

Time runs out and the Renegades are denied in the end. Although it seems they have one really good Passer who the fans think something is 'fishy' about that priest of Nagash.

After a few hours of pitch repair and bone recovery, the sun sets and the glowing lights of the stadium light up the place like a beacon. Even the bedouin camps 20 miles away can see the glow of the Death Star Stadium of Khemri and they are amazed.

Game #3 and the night cap match.Ka-Sabar Revengers VS Khemri Rapture Guard

The fans had great anticipation for this match. Necarchs where taking the field for the first time in the KPL. The fans where intrigued and at the same time unsettled by their presence. On top of that they are called the revengers. Debates amongest the fans started up. What are they revenging? Who are they revenging upon, us? What in the hell does revenge really mean? Come on man, who is kidding who? revenge is best served hot and steamy not some cold dish from an ancient grudge that happend over 2000 years ago. Well, then the kick off happened all this undead pontification immediatly ended.

The ball is kicked off and immediatly the fans realize that the Necarchs seem to know what they are doing, they are playing like a "real" blood bowl team. The Rapture Guard are doing their best to stay ahead of the Revengers moves but they are just slower, reacting to their moves. The revengers cage up on their side of the LOS and begin their move up field. There is a large disturbance in the fans, it seems an entire section of the stadium is running for the concourse. The fans look and see a powerful necarch with glowing fire sitting in a seat, he has a mug of beer in one hand and staff with a glowing red ball at the end radiating power. He stands up and the fans start to cheer, the pure excitement runs like a jolt of lightning up their spine.

The fans look up as a massive fireball descends from the sky and explodes in the middle of the Revengers. Bodies go flying to the pitch, 4 revengers are knocked off their feet and crash to the ground. The revengers chainsaw goes flying and it looks like it is on fire and could explode at any moment. Then a sigh of disapointment rings out from the crowd. Their lust for destruction and fun is denied as the revengers dust themselves off and look around to find out who this renegade Necarch is. The Wizard in the stands realizes to his dismay he might of pissed off the wrong team and decides having a 2 hour head start to get out of town is the most likely best option. He figures 2 hours is enough to elude the revengers revenging upon him.

After the fireball blows up the Rapture guard sees their opening and proceeds to fly through the hole created in the revengers LOS. The entire half descends into one massive scrumm. Both sides trading blows, players leaving the pitch to catch their breath in the KO box. The first half comes to an end and both teams proceed to the locker rooms to figure out a way to turn the tide.

Second half kicks off the Rapture Guard starts moving up the field. Using the time honored Khemri cage plan any rookie coach from Khemri has learned and mastered. The issue though is those necharcs might of actually been the ones to devise the plan? maybe? Because they just shred that cage to kibble bits and manage to get the ball loose. The ball seems elusive as it just squirts around on the ground for 2 turns and then the Revengers get their hands on it. The realize they cant score so they punt the ball to the Guards end line in the closing turns.

Dore'gen a man of humble origins who is now a blood bowl skeleton decides this is his moment. He is going to some how run over, pick up the ball, pass the ball, his team mate will catch the ball and then he will run up field and hand off the ball and then that team mate will some how dodge and weave his way down field and his team will do a coast to coast 2 turn score to win the match. This plan made perfecet sense to him, in fact he was convinced it was genius.

In end though it turns out this is what happens when a skeleton comes up with a plan.

Dore'gen sprints towards the ball, he is pushing it for all he has. He sees the ball laying on the ground right in front of him, he begins to bend down to pick it up when he trips over a bone that was still on the pitch from the last game. He looses his footing and flies head first into the spiked ball laying on the ground. His head is severed from his body, his limp body twitches on the ground, the fans go bonkers!!!! Some how some way Dore'gen finds himself in the dug out and the necromancer puts his head back on his body and weaves his necro magic and brings him back from the brink of death, again. REGEN PASSED!!!!!

The second half ends in this grizzly affair and then the fans start to chant OT, OT, OT, OT.

Overtime starts with the Rapture Guard kicking off. The Necharcs get the ball and set up a play in the lower half. One of the Necharcs has the ball deep in his end. The Guard are attempting pressure on the ball and doing a good job. That is when the Revengers unleash their master plan. A plan so basic and cunning for a moment all who witness this event are stunned.

The Revengers scramble to the lower zone and let the ball fly on a long pass, its spiral is perfect, its arch is true. They catch the ball and proceed to dodge out and attempt to sprint to the endline but the fans come out of their momentary stunned state and are enraged that a long pass might end this. The Revengers are GFI'ing towards the end line and the fans proceed to throw 278 beer cans, 84 hot dogs, 63 bottles of whiskey, a toilet and dildo at the ball carrier. Under this fan assault the Revengers ball carrier goes down in heap on the end line, covered to the point you can barely see him. The fans let out chorus of boo's as the Revenger player starts working his way out of the debrie covering him.

The Rapture Guard move a guy back to cover the downed player with the ball laying in the endzone. After the game the fans debated should the Guard have foulled the down player, hoping for a stun or better and take the chance at the send off because the Revengers just blitzed off the guy covering the downed necarch on the end line and he walks in and picked up the ball for the score and WIN!!! he did not celebrate long as he realised the fans where sending in a second salvo at him and he runs for his life back to his dug out to celebrate outside the firing range of the fans.

************************

What an amazing opening 3 matches of the KPL. I hope all the coaches involved had a great time playing in the rebooted KPL because if the opening 3 matches are an indication I think this is going to be one fun season of Blood Bowl in the KPL.

************************

SPIKED Trophy Winners for Season #7

Vella, Priest of Nagash Killed by a bouncing ball that blew up his right arm and torso and sent him to the afterlife.

Te'alt-Kripur, Sauraus thrower Killed by a failed catch as the ball goes right through his chest and his body just explodes into bones and flying shrapnel.


Fan Kills for Season #7

Tycos, Saurus Skeleton Sent into the fans in row 5 at midfield and gets bum rushed by over 300 fans and they proceed to dismantle him and hand out his bones as fan attendance prizes.

Devastaing blows that kill things, the regular, ho hum kill of player on player violence

NONE

The Misc tracking of the many other ways you can get killed in the KPL

NONE

*****************

I will be tracking all this fun stuff over the course of the season and the SPIKED trophy winners will be placed into the KPL hall of Honor so their memories will never die.

_________________
Comish of the: Image
PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: May 03, 2020 - 06:58 Reply with quote Back to top

KPL is still looking for new coaches. We need one more coach for the Europe Conference and 2 more for the North America Conference.

Each conference only plays games against teams in the same conference, so, no cross pond matches against each other until the Championship match.

You still have time as we have not finished out week #1, So you can just jump right on in and get playing.

if you are interested just read back a few pages to get some updates about the new S.League conversion that happened to the KPL.

OR

You can hit that massive KPL link below and go to the KPL league page and read up on the rules and so forth. Check out the wiki of the 9 teams and of course the link to make a team for the upcoming season.

_________________
Comish of the: Image
wintergreen13



Joined: Apr 10, 2011

Post   Posted: May 03, 2020 - 07:57 Reply with quote Back to top

By the way, that was maybe the top most fun game I've ever played on FUMBBL - KPL gets my heartiest endorsement! And the amazing write-up by PainState, who always comes through the the BEST commentary, is just the cherry on the top. Listen: my chainsaw played 20 TURNS OF BLOOD BOWL. That tantalizing tidbit in and of itself should be enough to join!
PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: May 03, 2020 - 16:19 Reply with quote Back to top

Come on guys, only need three coaches, let’s fill up the last spots in the kpl before the end of the weekend.

_________________
Comish of the: Image
Chivite



Joined: Sep 04, 2017

Post   Posted: May 03, 2020 - 17:51 Reply with quote Back to top

fabulous game report.

I highly recomend people to join. rosters full of character, games filled with violence, and extra secret weapons everywhere.... what is not to like?!!
PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: May 03, 2020 - 23:10 Reply with quote Back to top

Blast from the past KPL fans. I found the Faction banners that you can post on your team, Enjoy.


Image

Image

Image

_________________
Comish of the: Image
PainState



Joined: Apr 04, 2007

Post   Posted: May 08, 2020 - 04:21 Reply with quote Back to top

Still looking for one last coach to jump in the North America conf.

We got S. League teams and Spiked balls and so much more going on.

Hit that big KPL banner at the bottom and take that last spot, jump in the action right away and have a blast in the KPL.

_________________
Comish of the: Image
Nelphine



Joined: Apr 01, 2011

Post   Posted: May 09, 2020 - 04:42 Reply with quote Back to top

Now that we have a full league,
Image
is pleased to see that the teams have nicely followed the one true way!

In the European conference we have:
3 Settra
- Lybaras, Mahrak x2
4 Prophets
- Khemri, Lybaras, Rasetra, Zandri
3 Nagash
- Necrarch, Rasetra, Zandri

In the American conference we have:
1 Settra (led by none other than league commish PainState!)
- Numas
7 Prophets
- Khemri, Lahmian, Mahrak, Necrarch, Rasetra, Zandri x2
2 Nagash
- Khemri, Rasetra

In total we have the following duplicated city/factions:
2 Mahrak Settra
2 Khemri Prophet, 2 Rasetra Prophet, 3 Zandri Prophet
2 Rasetra Nagash

Who shall actually have found the one true way? Only
Image
knows!
Gnoblar



Joined: Mar 01, 2017

Post   Posted: May 11, 2020 - 06:26 Reply with quote Back to top

Lumberjack management is furious that other teams get an additional positional while Lybaras and Zandri don't. To rectify the position they have petitioned Settra to give them an extra position in line with the other rosters.

In what they assume is an attempt at humour Settra gives them

Pogoer 6/3/2/7 thick skull, regeneration, very long legs, leap 70k

I was just thinking about this, obviously it's a bit of an useless positional but could lead to some funky plays.

Loving the League so far!! We noticed all our games are away so we are RPing that our stadium is still being built and wasnt completed in time due to a union dispute followed by shoddy workmanship building the pyramid upside down causing it to topple almost immediately. As such the Lumberjacks are homeless.
Gnoblar



Joined: Mar 01, 2017

Post   Posted: May 11, 2020 - 16:48 Reply with quote Back to top

A breakdown of teams from each city to help with fluff generation and also to highlight unrepresented cities. Based on team names first, and then bio if they have one and then on roster.

Please could every team that doesn't have the city name in their team name please add it to their bio.

In the European conference we have:
2 Quatar
2 Zandri
2 Mahrek
2 Rasetra
1 Lybaras

1 Unknown (Librarians I would guess Lahmia?)

In the American conference we have:
2 Bhagar
2 Rasetra
1 Ka-Sabar
1 Lahmia
2 Khemri
2 Zandri

Cities unrepresented Numas.

Total numbers

Rasetra 4
Zandri 4
Bhagar 2
Quatar 2
Khemri 2
Mahrek 2
Ka-Sabar 1
Lahmia 1
Lybaras 1
Numas 0

It currently feels like European Conference consists of the East of Nehekhara (With exception of Zandri) and American the West.

Zandri and Rasetra are the only cities with teams in both conferences.
Nelphine



Joined: Apr 01, 2011

Post   Posted: May 11, 2020 - 17:54 Reply with quote Back to top

I just have to say, city by team name vs city by roster choice is VERY CONFUSING.
Gnoblar



Joined: Mar 01, 2017

Post   Posted: May 11, 2020 - 18:04 Reply with quote Back to top

I know right but only went off roster if I was still unsure after team name.

Perfect example is Quatar Quarantinees. Based in Quatar but using a Lybaras roster so for fluff purposes is counted as Quatar.
Nelphine



Joined: Apr 01, 2011

Post   Posted: May 11, 2020 - 18:07 Reply with quote Back to top

Yup, it just gives different results than my post 2 above that lol
Gnoblar



Joined: Mar 01, 2017

Post   Posted: May 11, 2020 - 18:12 Reply with quote Back to top

Oh I see sorry haha! Yea I thought listing the city teams are based in as opposed to rosters would be handy for fluff, creating rivalries etc. Can you tell lockdown is boring me Wink
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