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Trickey



Joined: Oct 10, 2018

Post   Posted: Jan 29, 2022 - 08:09 Reply with quote Back to top

Well Forks here it is Osbbl season 8. I am here as always, the Mascara Snake Silky Wilkinsons right hand man who is still awaiting the return of the king (Where are you Silky?). I am here with the tortured soul of Ernesto Lucatero of Banda Sagrada de Magritta as is customary the final death in the Suker cup spirit is brought back to comment on the league. Ernesto you must be pretty sore missing out on both the Sword and the Sucker cup. Well Snake only you could rub salt so quickly in those wounds. True Talking of salt let's look at the teams for Osbbl season 8.

First up the Ghozt Ship division


Aeldari Slaa (JPM, Daemons of Slaanesh)Image

Coming out of the Secret Dawgz competition with the formidable record of only one loss this team are the ones to watch this season. I don’t like talking about Sword and Sucker doubles as we know it is a rare feat (well a non-existent feat actually-ed) this team though have muscle and finesse they will just have to watch out for the crippling groin strain that has plagued the Slaanesh teams in Osbbl and also with so many pirates around the league they may find themselves quickly riddled with Syphilis and self doubt. Your eye can not go past there Keeper of secrets though Aeldari Slaa himself will no doubt bring the pleasure to the league.

Glam Crabs (RicardoGrande, Slaanesh)Image

The Glam Crabs more devotees of Slannesh this soft velvet rock band have devoted their mostly seaside performances to their deity. When they placed their instruments down one match accidentally they ended up in an outside brawl with the locals who questioned their spandex and glitter attire, this led to them being signed up to the local blood bowl league. Sydney Windwhisper the falceto is the emerging rookie everyone is talking about albeit in a hushed tone.

Punishing Wounders (Ramchop, Trolls now with 87% more vomit) Image

Damn Damn Damn these Trolls I all but had my hand on the Sucker Cup until the filthy bog dwellers trampled me. The Holders of the Sucker Cup return to league play and no one will underestimate them this time. With more vomit in Osbbl than we have ever seen I think these dark horses will find themselves sneaking into second place as long as they keep the talismanic Stone Troll Duncan fed and paying attention.

Cheeze Eating Blender Monkeez (MrCushtie, Clan Moulder) Image

Oh pity yee. The Blender Monkees back these are the most foul and hideous creatures to be crafted. These hideous beasts hold the all time casualty record in the league with 38 in an open season and this isn’t even including the brutal fouls that reign down. They call themselves the nice mice but do not be fooled. Though that said apart from the Blender their trophy cabinet is hideously sparse can they finally take the Mullet? No they will fall agonisingly close again you can bet on it. We all love Snuggles but be wary not to get too close.

Werekin balls (squigadeir, Were)Image

What happens when you Neuter a whole cattery on a full moon? I am unsure but you are left with some angry animals.The Werekin balls Came through Osbbl’s legendary secret Smack and really got their teeth into the competition a good side but alas this will not be there season let them brew for a while and see what they can do in a couple of seasons. More Werewolves than you can shake a stick at but new boy (and what a good boy-ed) Quick Mix is the one who caught our eye.

Da Dirty Zoggers (Felix17, HobgoblinImage

“But ya can’t punch wivout ya eyeballs Ya can’t run wivout ya kneecaps”, will this be the latest terrace anthem to go to number one in the deserted isle dear Myria I hope not. Da Dirty Zoggers are here and like most Hobgoblin teams they have one thing on their mind and that is where is most interesting to stick their hob nail. They have floated around the minor leagues for a number of seasons and now look to put their foot print on the Osbbl. Mark my words this rabble will be in the finals or loose out in the semis. They will pray to nuffle that the referee’s association will not be as in recent years. Fast Eddy their top scorer is the one to watch on this side lets hope he doesn’t fall.

Pirates of the Antipodes (DanGer, Undead Pirates)Image

What is worse than pirates? Zombie Pirate thats whats worse. These isles have been cursed by the pirates of late and our latest visitors have made a history of terrorising both the deserted Isles and the Southern Waste Lands. They will certainly make a splash but within a difficult pool they will struggle to make an impression this season. For some unknown reason the pundits are all talking about the simple Zombie Flounders as a player to watch potentially the one who is carrying all the venereal diseases.

Crouching Hot pot Hidden Butty (Trickey, Ninja Flings)Image

A late addition to the play, the Ninja flings are born entertainers and are mostly known for their Acrobatic catering services. They can entertain but will they get any points in what is a brutal pool of teams. Wedge the Foo statue will be their big threat unless he ends up rooted. They will be Mullet runners up.

Banda Sagrada de Magritta division


Larry Vaughans Love Spawn (Trickey, Sons of Stormfel)Image

Well the term legend we know is banded around far too much these days Snake. Legends are those who have etched their name on a trophy. These Fish have done naut (ahh as in nautical very funny-ed) apart from foul a lot and miss out on the Mullet. They have been around for a while and are terrifying for both the opposition and their own cultists. What impact will they have on the league mid table mediocrity. Player to watch though is the indomitable Mrs Taft she is the most dedicated cultist.

Skyre Fools (Ross12, Clan Skyre)Image

The Skyre Fools walk into this league with all the gear and in this pundits predictions no idea. Barely even with a warm up game under their mechanical belts all bets are off into how they will roll out. The rats will have the underdog card going into the first couple of rounds but don’t doubt they will bite ya. Watch out for the flying globes it could be hideous. Herman the Vermin gets my nod as a rat you should look out for.

Mоurkаin Kings (Wozza, Strigori)Image

They are back! If you weren’t aware this Strigori side with their rabib Ghoultra fans were sword winners back in season 3 with a historic battle which saw dirty player Journeyman Zombie John Wayne never to be seen again foul to death the first lady of Osbbl Laskarina Bouboulina (weep we still miss you-MS). They than resurfaced in season 6 to and were only halted on their assault on the Sucker cup by The Delicious Heresy. The Kings are hot favourites they are known to have slip ups though like the time they almost lost to the South Paw Stormers in their opening league game the Ghoultras nearly ate Vârcolac that day. With a renewed direction they look to take their second sword and I would say this would be a safe bet. Vârcolac is certainly the iconic player of this team and he will be the one to watch.

The_Scurfs (Daemons of Nurgle, Squigadier)Image

It is difficult to look at these things by Myria they are vile. Coming out of the Festive beatdown they have proven they can even make the Angel’s weep. A huge squad of players will look to spread their filth across the league. They will look to overwhelm on the pitch and within their pool could be looking at sneaking the playoffs. There are just too many players to keep an eye on but the one with all the eyes is Flaky Scruf but don’t get too close.

Cardiac Arresters (Hynton, Deamons of Malal)Image

The Malal have made it don’t look at them side ways your heart will truly stop. Twisted, weird and yeh just weird. Though Slannesh is the most revered of the Chaos gods in Osbbl the long forgotten Mallal has its place in the league at last. This squad comes out of the secret dawgz competition with an unimpressive record but High Bloodboiler the Harvester of Souls went on record saying, well nobody quite knows as the associated press were too dumbstruck looking at its face. The Osbbl Observer running with “Is it a bird is it a Minotaur no it Mallal what?” Definitely the player to watch in this squad. Lets say this squad could surprise someone and take the Mullet.

Rum Rebellion (Kransky, Pirates of Saratosa)Image

They are back the most rookie squad of season 7 return with a skeleton crew (not really-ed) of misfits steering their ship. What kind of a crew give up a Rum based contract to seek glory in these isle clearly one who have been at sea too long. Disregarding their contractual obligations this squad will be top three and could do something in the play of the key though is recruitment. The core of the crew are solid and it is Sailor Jerry that will be the name on everyone's lips this season.

Albionian Lions (Scratch, Four Nations)Image

The Albion Lions seamlessly bind the four nations together and bring the so-called beautiful game to these isles. To show us how the game is played back in the Motherland. A great looking squad but can they bring the punch. Finn Russel though is the next best thing in the league though watch this lad he will be electric.

Gunboat’s Surprise package

Due to clerical errors the fact that the Mascara snake has now been sitting in the commissioner chair for far too long for the first time ever we have a mystery package the day before the league is set up and we don’t know what the sixteenth team is but by word they will be exciting. I tip them to go all the way.

So here it is forks thank you Ernesto who knows maybe we will get you in before the Sword play offs to see how you went and then the Sucker Cup preview.

What ever happens people it will a season of highs lows and spectacular deaths. What ever you do stay weird Forks.
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