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Venomfullharm MonOrcs Extra
P [B] Orc

Team colors: Brown, Yellow, Black

The Orcish town of Venomfullharm on East Lark Island, is known for two things: It's all orc orchestra, and that fact it has been known for said orchestra to chase off people laying siege by trying to tune to A on the oboe.

In order to better fund the only all-orc orchestra and pay for all of the chewed violas and snotling/tuba accidents, they have decided to form the MonOrcs extra from their members who would like to do something more orcish than compose symphonies in-between composing symphonies.

While a winning record has so far eluded them, these raging composers have left enough opponents decomposing to satisfy their bloodthirsty fans, or as MonOrcs Extra season ticket holder Rhadu Bloodsword was quoted to have said, "'ey it's better than listening to their bloody music!"

oh, and also:

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors."

So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest - and closes the bar.
More to come.

%%%%%%

So far, very few people have gotten the pun, and more have gotten confused. "Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra." Yeah, reached a bit too far on that one.
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Black Orc Blocker
5 4 2 9
+MA
  36 0 0 0 1 1 7/16 110k
(80+30)k
 
2
Lineman
5 3 3 9
Block, Tackle, Strip Ball
  36 2 0 0 7 3 31/51 110k
(50+60)k
 
3
Black Orc Blocker
4 4 2 9   2 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 80k
(80+0)k
 
4
Lineman
5 3 3 9
Block, Dodge
  24 1 1 1 1 3 23/31 100k
(50+50)k
 
5
Blitzer
6 3 4 9
Block
Mighty Blow, Tackle, +AG
  34 1 1 0 9 3 37/51 160k
(80+80)k
 
6
Blitzer
7 3 3 9
Block
+MA, Sure Hands, Tackle
  34 2 3 0 3 4 37/51 150k
(80+70)k
 
7
Thrower
6 3 3 8
Pass, Sure Hands
+MA
  15 7 1 0 0 1 15/16 100k
(70+30)k
 
9
Goblin
6 3 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
+ST, Sprint
  31 0 3 0 0 2 19/31 110k
(40+70)k
 
10
Troll
4 5 1 9
Always Hungry, Loner, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate
Guard, Grab
  33 0 0 0 9 0 18/31 150k
(110+40)k
 
11
Blitzer
7 3 4 9
Block
+MA, +AG
  28 3 5 0 2 1 27/31 150k
(80+70)k
 
12
Thrower
6 2 3 8
Pass, Sure Hands
+MA, Block, Dump-Off
-st 34 11 5 0 0 3 41/51 140k
(70+70)k
 
13
Black Orc Blocker
4 4 2 9
Block
  36 0 1 0 3 1 14/16 100k
(80+20)k
 
15
Blitzer
6 3 3 9
Block
Tackle
  18 0 1 0 1 1 10/16 100k
(80+20)k
 
16
Black Orc Blocker
4 4 2 9 m 7 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 80k
(0)k
 
13 players (+1 player missing next game)  
Coach: Pentalarc Re-Rolls (120k): 3  
Race: Orc Fan Factor: 4  
Current Team Value: 1830k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 530k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1910k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:36 (5/9/22) |TD Diff:-32 (24 - 56) |Cas Diff:-17 (31/16/8 - 54/15/3)
Last Opponent: Magnus Von Magnussonn's Party