29 coaches online • Server time: 01:51
* * * Did you know? 263 games were played yesterday.
Log in
Recent Forum Topics goto Post War Drums?goto Post Conceding v Goblins/...goto Post Advice tabletop tour...
Pentalarc's Pretentious Pawns
Roster [L] Goblin

Team Colors: Light Blue (not as grey as a cadet blue, but more grey than robin's egg blue, slightly darker than ice blue, but with a greater saturation than powder blue)
Medium Green (Lighter than hunter green, but not as saturated as emerald green, less of a yellow cast than a leaf green, with a more vibrant coloration and somewhat lighter than a forest green, but not as light as jade green)
Orange (somewhat bright, but neither so light that it shades towards pumpkin, nor so dark that it gives the impression of a burnt orange)

When it was time to hire some servants, rouge scholar Pentalarc wanted to have servants whom he felt could keep up with him intellectually, who would be able to assist him with the proper decorum for court events, and who would not embarrass him at social functions with any sort of faux pas.

However, all he could afford were goblins.

Thus, he spent a large amount of time teaching them the sciences, rhetoric, philosophy, heraldry, and elocution lessons, as well as which is the proper fork for salad as oppose to steak, stabbing weevils, or threatening snotlings.

With little apparent success, and after being informed that "The rain in the Lark Islands falls almost continuously on the Gris Swamp, but rather often in quite a number of other locations as well," while being accurate, neither rhymed, nor was particularly helpful in anything to do with pronounciation.

So he taught them to play Blood Bowl instead, and using his connections in the Lark Islands, boosted his team with some possible relatives of famous players, such as Spleenboil Humphead, son of the famous New Slamdancers gobbo Liverwart Humphead, and "Jumping" Jack Krash, who often claims to be the son, nephew, brother, sister, next door neighbor, or a guy who once met Madhouse Asylum player Krash Zurbo, depending on how drunk he is.

He did manage to recycle their elocution lessons into their fight song, though:

Dough is cash
We play for cash
Ray, some guy who's over there
Me a gobbo
Who plays Blood BOwl
Fa from 'ere to over dere

(Did you just rhyme there and there?)

(SHUT UP!!)

So, what is this song about?
La, a note to follow so

(That's the stupidest line in the whole thing.

Yeah, but it's in the original song.

Oh)

T a guy with a mohawk

And that brings us back to dough
GIve us dough

(repeat)

Or, as Klax Dogfurt once said off the record to a reporter, "So, Mimble and I were discussing the most recent advances in teleportation magic, both in how it related to quantum theory, as well as the place of a wizard in a modern, pseudo-post agrarian society, when we got to talking about how funny it is when coach Pent turns red and that vein on the sided of his head pulses whenever we mispronounce something or use the wrong fork, so we decided to do it more. Would you care for a weevil?"

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Winner: Fluff Trophy, Gentleman's Club Season IV, Skullery Division
Spleenboil Humphead: Winner Most CAS (individual) Gentleman's Club Season IV
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Neckblister Humphead
Fanatic
4 7 3 7
Ball & Chain, No Hands, Secret Weapon, Stunty
+MA
   10 0 0 0 3 0 6/16 100k
(70+30)k
  
2
Fuzzy
Goblin
5 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
Side Step, Diving Tackle
 -ma 26 1 1 0 5 3 29/31 80k
(40+40)k
  
3
Klim Vordak
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
Diving Tackle
   22 0 0 0 1 2 12/16 60k
(40+20)k
  
4
Harple Slar
Goblin
6 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
Diving Tackle, Block
 -av 26 0 3 0 4 2 27/31 90k
(40+50)k
  
5
Kzneezlebat
Looney
6 2 3 7
Chainsaw, Secret Weapon, Stunty
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 40k
(40+0)k
  
6
Klax Dogfur
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
Diving Tackle, Jump Up
   27 0 1 0 3 2 19/31 80k
(40+40)k
  
7
Zenik Shtill
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
Diving Tackle
   8 0 0 0 2 1 9/16 60k
(40+20)k
  
8
Carpek Blar
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
Diving Tackle, Side Step
   28 0 0 0 4 2 18/31 80k
(40+40)k
  
9
Zween of Greatwarren
Goblin
6 2 4 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
+AG, Block, Side Step
   28 3 6 0 5 2 41/51 130k
(40+90)k
  
10
Hayman Hoozovahdere
Goblin
7 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
+MA
   6 0 0 0 1 1 7/16 70k
(40+30)k
  
11
Klonge Blimblat
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   2 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 40k
(40+0)k
  
12
Rudrack Broke-Nose
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   4 0 0 0 1 0 2/6 40k
(40+0)k
  
13
"Lucky" Linnik
Pogoer
8 2 3 7
Dodge, Leap, Stunty, Very Long Legs
+MA, Block
   18 0 5 0 1 1 22/31 130k
(70+60)k
  
14
Sooty the Alchemist
Bomma
6 2 3 7
Bombardier, Dodge, Secret Weapon, Stunty
Jump Up
   23 0 0 0 3 0 6/16 60k
(40+20)k
  
15
Varst Nym
Goblin
6 3 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
+ST, Sprint
   27 1 1 0 6 2 26/31 110k
(40+70)k
  
16
Blurk
Goblin
6 2 3 6
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
Diving Tackle
 -av 26 1 0 0 4 1 14/16 60k
(40+20)k
  
16 players  
Coach: Pentalarc Re-Rolls (120k): 4  
Race: Goblin Fan Factor: 8  
Current Team Value: 1600k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 450k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1600k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:28 (6/1/21) |TD Diff:-33 (21 - 54) |Cas Diff:-52 (56/11/6 - 94/20/11)
Last Opponent: Brooke's Bond Villains