TROPHY ROOM

XXXL SECOND SEASON: TAILZ CHAMPIONS


XXXL SECOND SEASON: WESTMINSTER SQUIG INVITATIONAL WINNER

SEASON 1 - BLOOD FEUD!

A crowd of little green Gobbos were gathered around the entrance to the Nasties™ stadium. A hastily set up podium was placed in front of the partially completed statue of Happy_Amateur, the Nasties incumbent coach and owner. The gathering was rowdy, and amongst them were many reporters, testing their microphones and cabalvision cameras.
A small sidedoor opened from near the stadiums main entrance and a hush fell across the waiting Gitz. From it emerged several well known figures. Snot Kaypabul, the Troll, was acting as a bodyguard to the Head Coach. Along side them, Da Lumbarjak was trotting along with his enormous chainsaw. The crowd seemed almost disappointed that the whirling blade of death was turned off, but as they got closer the gathering fans were overjoyed to see the jagged teeth still coated in blood and brains and chunks of green meat. The Coach and his players laughed amongst themselves, the boss obviously saying something hilariously witty on their way to the podium. They seemed in no hurry at all, yet the whole time the crowd kept silent.
After what seemed like an entire drive, the Head Coach mounted the platform. He looked as though he was about to call for silence, but as you could already hear a pin drop, he just coughed in a slightly embarrassed fashion. " Welcome Nasties™ fans!" He cried in a deep and powerful baritone that would have the cheerleaders sliding around the Commissioners pool room like snails on speed. " We all know why you are here! We all know what has happened today! And after our smashing victory over the Black Tooth RIPS I would expect nothing less! And so, for you absolute pleasure, I present the player who did the most damage today, Da Lumbarjak, who has a few things to say on behalf of the club!"
The crowd, deathly quiet until now, roared their approval at the Head Coach, and the Looney stepped up to the podium amidst thunderous applause. "Alrite," Da Lumbarjack placed his saw upon the lecturn and winked at the crowd. "We av a few tings to cleer up todae, an I gonna do it rite now. Fur wun fing, dey dont kall me da Lumbarjak coz I used ta chop down trees. No! It's coz I puncture so many spines, and jak so many lumbars wiv my trusty saw. So stop sayin I used ta chop down trees. Coz dat iz dum. Now. Da ova fing I haev to say is.... dere aint no such fing as a frendly. Whoeva said we waz plaein a frendly aint neva seen blud bowl cause he iz a dumnhed. So if da butt stomping, if da ass whupping, if da total smashin' dat we giv dem dum Blak toof rips haz hurt dere itty bitty widdle feelins', and dey iz crying as saying boo hoo hoo da Nasties were meen to us an we shud hav a blud fued agains dem, den I say, lets hav a blud fued den, coz if dem Blak toof losers plae lik dey did today, we is gonna fug dem up reel gud. Maebe fug dem up foreva lik I did to dat wun git todae. Or waz it two? How manee is two boss?" With that the plucky little Goblin started up his saw, standing, legs spread wide on the podium, revving the engine whilst the dirty oil smoke whirled around him and the crowd. The cheering from the gathered fans and media was deafening. Snot stood about confused, picking his nose while the Head Coach stood laughing. Laughing so loud that it could almost be heard over the din of the crowd and slapping his thigh in pure joy. It had been a good day.

BLOOD FEUD:

NIGHT GOBLIN NASTIES™ 1-2 BLACK TOOTH RIPS

MODERN PLAYER RECORDS

Most Cas
Snot Kaypabul has inflicted 38 lifechanging injury on an opposition player
Most Blocks
Snot Kaypabul has made 290 bone crunching hits
Most Touchdowns
Bazza Boing-boing with 17 incredible touchdowns
Most Rushing Yards
Bazza Boing-boing with 366 rushing yards
Most Spps
Snot Kaypabul with 97spp
Most MVPs
Snot Vereegoude has received 6 well deserved MVP awards
Most Fouls
Grass Greenly has made an amazing 49 fouls in only 17 games
Most Interceptions
Ralf da Tikket Kollecta has the only interception for the team.

Bazza Boing-boing (RIP)

The vice-captain of the Night Goblin Nasties™, and the first of the Nasties™ to be officially inducted into its Hall Of Fame, Bazza led the team in Touchdowns and Yards Rushing from the day he was bought into the squad, until the day he was cruelly murdered by Bolsheviks from Gobbelcheviks in the XXXL Cup Quarter Final of Season 1: The Second Season.
He firmly cemented his place in the hearts of NGN™ fans everywhere with his single handed victory over the Winnipeg MOAB Bombers, where,in THIS GAME ,he gained 49 yards with ball in hand, and ran in 3 Touchdowns. He will be sorely missed by the team management at the Night Goblin Nasties and our condolences go our to his friends and loved ones.

Bobby Mulduun (RIP)

XXXL SECOND SEASON: TAILZ CHAMPION
XXXL SECOND SEASON: WESTMINSTER SQUIG INVITATIONAL WINNER

The second vice-captain of the Night Goblin Nasties™, and the second of the Nasties™ to be officially inducted into its Hall Of Fame, Bobby showed incredible leadership and agility and proved himself a midfield general when Da Lumbarjak was off the field. Until the day that is that his life was extinguished by evil necromancy against marquee team Already Ded in the XXXL First Round Game of Season 2: Git Revolushun.
While never really pulling off any major plays of note, he firmly cemented his place in the hearts of NGN™ fans everywhere with his steady play and firm guiding hand on the field. He will be sorely missed by the team management at the Night Goblin Nasties and our condolences go our to his friends and loved ones.

Da Flappy Baron (Retired)

XXXL SECOND SEASON: TAILZ CHAMPION
XXXL SECOND SEASON: WESTMINSTER SQUIG INVITATIONAL WINNER

A true leader of the Night Goblin Nasties™, and the third of the Nasties™ to be officially inducted into its Hall Of Fame, Da Flappy Baron was truly an aristocrat on the Blood Bowl pitch, and ruler of our hearts off of it. Strong, tough and incredibly sexy, he struck fear into the hearts of both opposition players, and coaches... so much so that in the later part of his career he found himself unfairly targeted by thugs. Thugs simply bought into opposition teams to hurt Flappy. Disgraceful really. So disgusting it made me put my foot through the Cabalvision screen and send the bill to the XXXL Commissioners Unbelievably Stately Mansion.
After suffering a niggling injury that never really healed, the end of his Blood Bowl career came in the second meeting of a particularly savage pair of games against the Bricktop Bricks. Or whatever they're called. Soldiering on despite a smashed knee, our dear Baron found himself sidelined with a smashed hip. Fortunately he would accept a coaching position on the staff of the Night Goblin Nasties™, and in his first game in charge of the offensive lineup, coached the boys to a 2=0 victory over arch rivals the Black Tooth RIPS. Nuffle bless you Flappy. He truly was the Peoples Baron.

Da Lumbarjak

XXXL SECOND SEASON: TAILZ CHAMPION
XXXL SECOND SEASON: WESTMINSTER SQUIG INVITATIONAL WINNER

Captain of the Night Goblin Nasties™ since the franchises creation, and the fourth of the Nasties™ to be officially inducted into the Hall Of Fame, Da Lumberjak has been a constant presence at the club, leading the team well and is beloved by fans. His entry into the Hall of Fame coincides with his 50th MATCH. Da Lumbarjak would likely have earnt his place in the Hall of Fame a lot earlier, but due to his high profile on and off the pitch, he has drawn the attention of referees in almost every single game. You can count on the fingers of one hand how many NGN games that Da Lumberjak has actually made it to the end of. With his whirling blade of death and a completely reckless disregard for his own and other safety, Da Lumberjak will lead the team until they take him off the pitch in a wooden box. Unfortunately Da Lumberjak couldn't make it to his Hall of Fame induction ceremony as he was terribly injured in the 1-0 win over the Moody Moonz in his 50th MATCH. But he will be back, better than ever, thrilling crowds and spilling guts everywhere.

Snot Kaypabul

XXXL SECOND SEASON: TAILZ CHAMPION
XXXL SECOND SEASON: WESTMINSTER SQUIG INVITATIONAL WINNER

A Night Goblin Nasties™ original, having been at the club since the franchises creation, Snot Kaypabul has only missed one of the clubs games (due to fracturing his skull). The fifth of the Nasties™ to be officially inducted into the Hall Of Fame, he leads the team in blocks and casualties and is a fan favourite despite the fact he is a disgusting, drooling idiot. Rumour has it he may be looking to leave the club and offer his services as a free agent in the near future, but that is just conjecture. Congratulations on your elevation to the Hall of Fame, the first Troll to do so for the Night Goblin Nasties™.

Grass Greenly (RIP)

A Night Goblin Nasties™ hero, his inclusion in the team was controversial. Joining the team after its temporary disbanding, he gained a contract on the word of his uncle Dirt Greenly, a major fan of the franchise and close friend of the owner. The sixth of the Nasties™ to be officially inducted into the Hall Of Fame, his meteoric rise to fame was based solely on his skill with the boot. Stomping his way around the field and leaving opposition players broken and crushed in his wake, he immediately became a fan favourite. His skill in the dark arts of fouling justified his entry into the team and gave the coach and owner justification for his complete restructure at the club. His unfortunate death in yet another unlucky loss to the Mad Moon Mischiefs was an absolute tragedy that devastated fans, and although his elevation to the Hall of Fame will be little compensation to them, it was well deserved. R.I.P Grass Greenly. The management sends its condolences to the Greenly family and to the fans of the stompy little git.

SEASON 0- DA FIRST WAAGH

1st Game vs Da Dirty BDSM Tribe 1-3 LOSS
2nd Game vs Bad Apples 1-0 WIN
3rd Game vs Bogan Picnic Hamper Stealers 1-2 LOSS
4th Game vs Winnipeg MOAB Bombers 3-2 WIN ( Due to heinous crimes against referees by the opposition )
5th Game vs Black Tooth Rips 1-1 DRAW
6th Game vs Test tickle testers 2-2 DRAW
7th Game vs Erratic Eccentric Entertainers 0-1 LOSS

XXXL Lantern Cup Play-offs

Quarter Final vs Possibly the Most Knives 2-0 WIN
Semi Final vs Winnipeg MOAB Bombers 1-2 LOSS ( decided by coin toss in OT )

Pre-Season Friendlies

Friendly vs Possible the most Knives 2-1 WIN
Friendly vs Black Tooth RIPS 2-0 WIN
Friendly vs Köpenhägen Ïmmergeïl 2-2 DRAW

Big Cook Tournament
Quarter Final vs Winnipeg Moab Bombers 3-2 WIN
Semi Final vs Bad Apples 1-2 LOSS

SEASON 1- XXXL SECOND SEASON

1st Game vs Da Dirty BDSM Tribe 2-1 WIN
2nd Game vs Gobbolchevickz 2-1 WIN
3rd Game vs Köpenhägen Ïmmergeïl 3-0 WIN
4th Game vs Bogan Picnic Hamper Stealers 2-1 WIN
5th Game vs Test Tickle Testers 0-1 LOSS
6th Game vs Black Tooth Rips 1-2 LOSS
7th Game vs Winnipeg Moab Bombers 0-1 LOSS

XXXL Cup Play-offs

Quarter Final vs Gobbolchevickz 0-1 LOSS

Pre-Season Friendly

1st Game vs Green Gladiataazz 1-1 DRAW

WESTMINSTER SQUIG FESTIVAL

Quarter Final vs Terrifying Toe Twisters 1-0 WIN
Semi Final vs Gobbolchevickz2-1 WIN
Final vs Green Gladiataazz 2-1 WIN

SEASON 2- XXXL GIT REVOLUSHUN

1st Game vs Already Ded 0-1 LOSS ( Filler game for forfeit win against Karak Ungor National Ballet )
2nd Game vs Gobbolchevickz 1-1 DRAW
3rd Game vs Troll Fanboyzzz 2-0 WIN
4th Game vs Black Tooth RIPS 0-1 LOSS
5th Game vs ÜbelFiesDreckig 0-1 LOSS
6th Game vs Bricktops Boisterous Butchers 1-1 DRAW
7th Game vs Erratic Eccentric Entertainers 3-0 WIN

XXXL Cup Play-offs

Quarter Final vs Bricktops Boisterous Butchers 1-2 LOSS

Pre-Season Friendly

Friendly vs Bricktops Boisterous Butchers 0-3 LOSS
Friendly vs Black Tooth RIPS 2-0 WIN

Warpstone Rage Festival

1st Round - vs Winnipeg MOAB Bomberz 0-1 LOSS
2nd Round - vs Black Tooth Rips 1-2 LOSS

Friendly vs Green Gladiataazz LOSS

SEASON 3- XXXL21:Tailz

Round 1vs Gobbolchevickz 2-0 WIN
Round 2vs Black Tooth Rips 0-2 LOSS
Round 3vs Green Gladiataazz 2-0 WIN
Round 4vs Les Sales Freux 0-3 LOSS
Round 5vs Demonic Dudes of Death 0-2 LOSS
Round 6vs Bad Apples 1-1 DRAW
Round 7vs Troll Fanboyzzz 1-0 WIN
Round 8vs Mad Moon Mischiefs 2-0 LOSS


Black Lantern IV

Quarter Final vs Mad Moon Mischiefs 0-3 LOSS

FRANCHISE MELTDOWN AND SEASON BREAK

Black Lantern V Qualifier

Qualifier vs UbelFiesDreckig 1-3 LOSS

Pre Season Friendlies

Friendly vs Fazta ratyz 1-1 DRAW
Friendly vs Bricktops Boisterous Butchers 4-0 WIN

S.I.G Invitational Tournament

First Round vs Broken Nose Nibblerz 2-0 WIN
Quarter Final vs Moody Moonzz 1-0 WIN
Semi Final vs Mad Moon Mischiefs 1-3 LOSS

*** Did you know...

Did you know?.... that coach Happy_Amateur has so little respect for Trolls that he doesn't even call them by their own names. He just calls them Snot Gudenuff and Snot Kaypabul. Because Trolls are shit.

Did you know?.... that up and coming star Looney Da Lumbarjak is determined to be in contention for the most fouls award come the end of Season 1.

Did you know?.... that a special Post Season Friendly between the Black Tooth RIPS and the Night Goblin Nasties™ ended up being so unfriendly that the two coaches barely even acknowledge each other since.

Did you know?.... that team management at the Night Goblins Nasties™ has expressed an interest in signing Sean Mage, the fouling machine.

Did you know?.... that the reason the Black Tooth RIPS teeth are black isn't because they don't brush. Apparently they are quite fastidious in their oral hygiene. It's because they eat so much squig poo. The dirty bastards.

Did you know?.... The most mortal game in XXXL history had been between a match between arch rivals Night Goblin Nasties™ and Bogan Picnic Hamper Stealers

Did you know?.... The rematch between the Bogan Picnic Hamper Stealers in Season 1: The Second Season, was a mainly bloodless affair... apart from the devastating loss of James "Big Block" Galanna who was cruelly murdered by the opposition Fanatic.

Did you know?.... That the Karak Ungor National Ballet were so terrified of the might of the NGN that they refused to play the opening match of Git Revolushun against us. An evil Necromancer raised a team for an exhibition match in its place and they thrashed us... absolutely thrashed us.

Did you know?.... That in the first two Blood Feud matches between the NGN and the BTR, the Commissioner insisted other coaches play Corruption Cards that would be detrimental to the Nasties chances. Through these underhand tactics the RIPS gained to victories, but the Nasties™ rose to the occasion and RIPPED them apart in the second game, killing and breaking the Black Tooths left, right and centre.

Did you know?.... That after a season's hiatus, the Night Goblin Nasties™ played their 50th match against Bricktops Boisterous Butchers. Pitch clearing them twice, killing their legend Troll and winning 4-0, it was a good day to be a Nasties™ supporter. A very, very good day.