| Poll |
| Does Santa exist? |
| YES! |
|
56% |
[ 70 ] |
| NO! |
|
44% |
[ 55 ] |
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| Total Votes : 125 |
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Buur
Joined: Apr 29, 2004
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 Posted:
Dec 22, 2005 - 21:05 |
 
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a shameles *bump*
-Buur |
_________________
For most people, reason is nothing but their own believes. |
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Queek_anklebita
Joined: Dec 22, 2005
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| Posted:
Dec 22, 2005 - 21:09 |
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of course he exists
he was humping my may last night,
how can you do THAT if you dont exist, huh? |
_________________
-why are they looking for intelligence in outer space?
-because there isn't any on earth |
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DreadClaw
Joined: Nov 17, 2003
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| Posted:
Dec 22, 2005 - 21:35 |
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Santa is REAL.. and I'm a REAAAL BOY!...
really. |
_________________
Death be not proud. Though Some have called thee Mighty and Dreadful Thou art not so. |
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Queek_anklebita
Joined: Dec 22, 2005
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| Posted:
Dec 22, 2005 - 21:39 |
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| DreadClaw wrote: | Santa is REAL.. and I'm a REAAAL BOY!...
really. |
1 of those things i dont believe :d |
_________________
-why are they looking for intelligence in outer space?
-because there isn't any on earth |
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shadow46x2
Joined: Nov 22, 2003
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| Posted:
Dec 22, 2005 - 22:18 |
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1 - No known species of reindeer can fly. But there ARE 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has seen.
2 - There are 2 billion children (under 18 ) in the world. But since Santa doesn`t appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist and Jewish children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total- 378 million or so. At an average rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3 - Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second.
..... This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining gifts under the tree, eat the snacks, get back up the chimney, get back in the sleigh, and move on to the next house.
..... Assuming that each of these 91.8 million homes are distributed evenly (which we know to be false but for the sake of these calculations we will accept) we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops.
..... This means that Santa`s sleigh is traveling at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe moves at a poky 27.4 MPS; the average reindeer runs at 15 MPH.
4 - The sleigh's payload adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.
..... On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point one) could pull TEN TIMES the usual amount, we can not do the job with 8 or even 9. We need 214,000 reindeer. This increases the weight, not even counting the sleigh, to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison this is 4 times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2.
5 - A mass of 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer in the same manner as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.
..... In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the next pair of reindeer, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousands of a second.
..... Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times the force of gravity. A 300 pound Santa would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
Conclusion: There was a Santa, but he's dead now. Merry Christmas!
--j
ps...not my own work...but funny nonetheless  |
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Buur
Joined: Apr 29, 2004
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| Posted:
Dec 22, 2005 - 23:01 |
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Well arent you forgeting that santa only have to vissit the nice kids?
-Buur |
_________________
For most people, reason is nothing but their own believes. |
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Agrak
Joined: Nov 14, 2005
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| Posted:
Dec 22, 2005 - 23:10 |
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no |
_________________
smile |
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Agrak
Joined: Nov 14, 2005
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| Posted:
Dec 22, 2005 - 23:12 |
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But Shadow, you're a Blood Bowl coach, and you've forgotten about MAGIC!
lol
p.s. no good kids in my house. |
_________________
smile |
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tassel
Joined: May 04, 2004
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| Posted:
Dec 23, 2005 - 00:58 |
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Also you forgot the art of delegating. At least in Finland Santa doesn't visit every house (only the nicest kids) and OF COURSE not through chimneys, but the christmas elves bring the presents. On behalf of Santa of course, so you can refer to the presents as brought by Santa, like you can say this or that was the words of Sokrates although he never wrote a word himself. You get the idea.
Who's daft enough to believe he delivers all his presents with a single sleigh? Duh. All the great men of history have had legions of minions doing their bidding.  |
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Jurassic-Monkey
Joined: Mar 18, 2004
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| Posted:
Dec 23, 2005 - 01:44 |
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Of course Santa doesn't exist, Father Christmas on the other hand is alive and well
Oh and in reply to shadow46x2's post, I have one word in reply to your post:
MAGIC!  |
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shadow46x2
Joined: Nov 22, 2003
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| Posted:
Dec 23, 2005 - 01:48 |
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| Buur wrote: | Well arent you forgeting that santa only have to vissit the nice kids?
-Buur |
pfft the theorem clearly states that one can assume that there is *at least* one good child per household....
and as for the "magic" plan....if magic really existed...i would have a life outside of blood bowl....
....oh wait we're talking about magic, not miracles....
--j |
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Macavity
Joined: Nov 23, 2004
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| Posted:
Dec 23, 2005 - 17:35 |
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Well, from a logical perspective, claiming to know that Santa (or anything) does not exist is a universal negative proposition, thus necessitating the speaker to have a complete knowledge of all that exists, implying God-Hood. Though it doesn't surprise me that some coaches here might make that claim, it is rather ridiculous.
P.S. Could an admin edit the swear on the previous page of this thread, please? |
_________________
When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up. -C.S. Lewis |
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Arktoris
Joined: Feb 16, 2004
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| Posted:
Dec 23, 2005 - 18:09 |
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Santa doesn't exist?????!!!!!
hmm...sounds like tonight I need to do some last minute shopping for my wife |
_________________
Hail to Manowar! The latest charioteer to DIE for bloodbowl! - Slain, by Ghor Oggaz |
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Ironik
Joined: Jun 28, 2004
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| Posted:
Dec 23, 2005 - 18:14 |
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SnakeSanders
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
Dec 23, 2005 - 18:19 |
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I knew a couple of brothers who were a bit scruffy... but we asked them one day if santa was cming to them (the mother didnt want to buy them presents) but they said she said "Santa isnt coming this year... Santa is dead!"
poor kids! |
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