PurpleChest
Joined: Oct 25, 2003
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my in-laws have been staying with us for the past 10 days.
They are Very very very right wing, fundamentalist christian Americans. I am a very left wing, atheist, libertarian Englishman.
Highlights this trip:
Father-in-law, 4 hours after arriving walks over to my computer, turns it on and starts playing spider solitaire. He doesnt ask if its OK. this he does constantly (10-12 hours of Spider daily)
They instigate a disscussion on how evolution is a 'widely discredited theory', after resisting for 20 mins i get drawn in and, after presenting a counter arguement reasonably and calmly am told to 'shut up' and 'stop talking' by my father in law. In my own home. (I smile and bite my lip)
Wer are told our 4 month old daughter will go to hell. As we do not plan a christening but a civil naming ceremony.
My father in law siezes control of the remote on day2. He whines like a small child if anyone else has it from this point on, and chanel surfs frenetically when not on the computer.
They announce unasked, while watching the news, that the people of New Orleans deserve no sympathy as it was a Godless city of sin and the people there elected a useless Democrat Governor that was responsible for all the failures associated with the dissaster.
When we drive anywhere Father in law will turn off/up/over radio at will, without asking, even when asked not to.
Father-in-law somehow infects my computer with a virus while surfing while i was at work.
Fumbbl outlawed (wife begged me) as 'things with orcs and elves in them upset them'. Presumably the work of evil.
While being aware that my Uncle died of AIDS, they see another news story about the AIDS nightmare in Africa and declare it 'Gods plague on the promiscuouse' (sp??)
Aware that i work as a Diversity trainer and anti racism campaigner they still feel free to declare Islam 'evil', all muslims to be 'devious' and 'untrustworthy' and Arabs to be 'not like us, not decent'.
Can there possibly be anyone with
A: More ironicly opposite to them relations
B: More sterotypically amusing relatives
C:More bloody rude relatives
I mean is this just me? or does this sort of thing happen a lot? Are there legions of us shackled by wedlock to our worst nightmares?
And was i right to bear the burden? should i not just allow any single thing to escalate into a situation where they will never visit again? Aware that even if it was entirely their fault it would upset my partner for ever more. |
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Furious_George
Joined: Aug 13, 2005
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 Posted:
Dec 15, 2005 - 21:08 |
 
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Erm, bearing in mind its horribly untactful, if thats a word, i'd go off on one, quite frankly ignorant attitudes like that are responsible for a lot of what they spend all day complaining about. I know its a previous generation set in their ways, and, more accurately, theyre fundamentalist christians, but there isnt any excuse that can condone behaviour like that.
Its your home, your rules, id have taken a stand, the influence of christian fundamentalism grows stronger while-u-wait(apologies to those with sympathies in said area, im not fond myself). |
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Dead Men dont tell tales... But they sure play a mean game of Bloodbowl.
"Hugh Mann eh? Now theres a name I can trust!"
Me Loves Futurama |
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Macavity
Joined: Nov 23, 2004
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Dec 15, 2005 - 21:11 |
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PurpleChest, for the love of Pete, and all things Pete-related, do not judge all Christians on the basis of your in-laws. In fact, if you're bored, thank God that your wife was able to remove herself from it.
Random Points: Fundamentalist Christians in America are usually ok with Baptism as a choice... weird.
The Bible CLEARLY states that the knowledge of anyone's eternal destiny is not for humans to know. Claiming to have knowledge in this area is claiming to be God which is pretty much a dang nasty sin.
Evolution.... well, as a religious mentor of mine said to me, "You die, you meet God. Do you really think he's gonna ask, 'So, did you figure out how I did it?' He's a bit more likely to care what you did WITH it.
My own Father-In-Law made it clear, before my wife and I were married, that any potential disagreements should be solved (if they couldn't be otherwise), by, "My house, my rules, your house, your rules" Applying equally to both.
There is a beautiful passage in the Gospel of Matthew that your In-Laws should look up as far as there attitude towards AIDs victims, Muslims, and New Orleans. I'm at work, so can't get the reference, but most bibles have it headed as "The Sheep and the Goats". It's directly words of Jesus, so it's great ammo!
C.S.Lewis (who is regarded as one of the, if not the, most prominent and worthwhile Christian Authors of the 20th Century) wrote the Narnia books which included many mythological characters (as well as a Roman god or two) and he, in turn, stated that J.R.R. Tolkien was the main human influence on his becoming a Christian and Tolkien can be quoted as saying (In a Lovely little Essay called "On Fairy Stories"), "God is the God of Men, of Angels, and of Elves!".
I, personally, like you better than them, and I've never met them and now know you to be athiest. In short, You were thrust into an unfortunate circumstance which some share, but I thankfully avoid. I think it is admirable that you mostly sucked it up for your wife's sake. I assume that the ocean between you means it is irregular contact. I apologize again on behalf of all Christians.
P.S. If you ever think of losing the Athiesm thing, try a religion/philosophy that believes in Karma, it'll make the whole situation hilarious! |
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When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up. -C.S. Lewis
Last edited by Macavity on %b %15, %2005 - %21:%Dec; edited 2 times in total |
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SnakeSanders
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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Dec 15, 2005 - 21:12 |
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you have done well, but still its your wifes parents, if you go upsetting them you may also upset your wife without realising it (but i know neither you or your wife)
As a fairly committed christian myself, I wouldnt associate any of your father in laws beliefs with my own! Sounds like its a problem with him (you didnt mention your mother in law) but again, see above!
I know what your going through, I shared a flat with a guy with asperger syndrome (yes it kept the rent low) but my year in that flat was as miserable as ive ever spent.
as much as you may resent it, bring him somewhere (away from your wife/mother in law) and chat him and tell him whats wrong, but dont critisize him (sounds like he could be rather insecure and hiding it by finding fault in everything else) or could make matters worse...
If i knew you better i could help more, but your in laws wont be there in a few weeks but your wife will
***Edit***
Check my sig you may be an atheist (thats cool by me, I'm not going to try to convert anyone!) but look at the logic. Is it harsh to say that a significant proportion of Fundamentalist Christians view themselves as above anyone else? (I dont know, I dont follow that path) but if you go crazy at him, it will give him something... you know
I hope it gets better for you mate |
Last edited by SnakeSanders on %b %15, %2005 - %21:%Dec; edited 1 time in total |
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Macavity
Joined: Nov 23, 2004
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Dec 15, 2005 - 21:14 |
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Well, Rob, you are in Ireland, you could pop over and give the ol' man what-for, then leave and Purple could say, "I'm sorry Rob is so rude, he get's that way sometimes. Religion is such a touchy thing for some folk"  |
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When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up. -C.S. Lewis |
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Meech
Joined: Sep 15, 2005
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Dec 15, 2005 - 21:18 |
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Meh, it makes you a better person then them. Maybe you should start playing more spider solitaire and less devil games like bloodbowl.
It is funny reading your post. It starts off a little detached like you are telling a story, then it becomes clear you are getting more and more annoyed by her father the more you think about it. |
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Putting the FU in fumbbl since 9/2005 |
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Gromolko
Joined: Oct 19, 2005
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Dec 15, 2005 - 21:18 |
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If your father in law surfs the internet with your computer, you should probably clear your history, else he may find your post. except if this is the escalation you want  .
Perhaps you can asume that as the parents and upbringers of your loved one, they need to have some good sides, even if you can´t see them now? Most of what you described (excessive radio, tv to fill out silence) could be a way to endure the tense athmosphere caused by different conversation conventions. Perhaps their outragous statements are not point of views or opinions but simply the way conversations are lead where they´re from. Good day to you; nice weather, eh; did you hear what them bloody liberals did again; look at those goddamn heathens, and so on (edit: not to forget: What we need is another war!) ... In german its called "Stammtisch" (regulars table), and its mostly just an aquired reflex. |
Last edited by Gromolko on %b %15, %2005 - %21:%Dec; edited 1 time in total |
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PurpleChest
Joined: Oct 25, 2003
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Father in law does the rudeness thing alone, but they share the world view and extreme beliefs. She is the more racist, or more overtly so.
They are also rather wierdly in the pyramid/cult Amway scheme, but no mention of that this trip.
And they have left so tonight I get stoned and play games
There is once more not only a figurative but also a real ocean between us. |
Last edited by PurpleChest on %b %15, %2005 - %21:%Dec; edited 1 time in total |
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SnakeSanders
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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Dec 15, 2005 - 21:21 |
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yeah, give me an hour or two while I rustle up some gelignite, thugs, and some petrol bombs! I doubt he would understand me with my irish twang! He probably thinks i live in a thatched cottage and ride a donkey and trap, and go to eat in O'Donalds Fast food chain 
Seriuosly, if i was in your position, Id feel the same |
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tassel
Joined: May 04, 2004
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Dec 15, 2005 - 21:25 |
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I'd like to add a Finnish view: WHY ON EARTH would the stay for 10 DAYS!?
Even if there is a little thing called Atlantic Ocean in between, anything more than 3 days is just asking for trouble, and I couldn't even think of having family of all for anything more than a week! I only wonder you haven't hit or shot anyone yet. In Finland the constitution clearly states you have the right to remove stale relatives from your property if they over extend their visit beyond two days, with force if necessary.
I'm only half kidding too.
You're a saint! |
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Macavity
Joined: Nov 23, 2004
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Dec 15, 2005 - 21:26 |
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If you want a real row, start talking about how the American Revolution was a terrorist act!
Ok, now we're just getting mean....
/me hangs head in shame and chuckles softly. |
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When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up. -C.S. Lewis |
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sehou
Joined: Feb 04, 2005
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Dec 15, 2005 - 21:29 |
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My fiancée's parents seem to correspond to your in-laws in that they make life miserable for others to suck it up. I'm lucky in one point: I never met them, 'cause my girlfriend decided she had enough and took a stand.
PC, you probably already brought up the subject with your wife, well now, you take a FIRM stand and tell that old man how it's going to be. If he doesn't show any respect towards yourself or ideas or property afterwards, tell him to stay in secluded paranoiac USA, and DO NOT compromise to your wife on this. IMO, you can't wash rotten wood. |
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Macavity
Joined: Nov 23, 2004
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Dec 15, 2005 - 21:34 |
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Sehou... I REALLY do not mean offence, but.... have you ever been married? I admit there may be steps to take, but compromising with the wife is not a DO NOT, it's a NEED TO. If you make it clear how much of a problem it is, I'm sure you can come up with some things you simply won't tolerate and stand firm together. (top of the list being comments about your daughter going to hell....) Making uncompromising demands on one's spouse does not help the marriage. Friendly bit of advice to the engaged fellow from a man who has already been down the lovely path of divorce. |
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When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up. -C.S. Lewis |
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BigMac
Joined: Dec 19, 2004
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Dec 15, 2005 - 21:36 |
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Fuels my stereotype politically incorrect view of what the typical american looks like;
Watched a TV show here in germany last night, where the foreign relations are once again on the edge, where our new minister of foreign affairs put it pluntly:
"the point is to defend out common values. the problem is, the united states and germany do not share common values. we don't kidnap people, we don't torture prisoners, we do not murder people in the name of justice and we do not break international law by waging attack wars to conquer resources. This has reached a point where it is not enough to stand idle by because these crimes are committed by an ally. Especially because the the united states are supposed to be an ally one has to draw the line at some point. We reached that point."
Background: The united states kidnapped a german citizen and draged him to afghanistan where he was held captured and tortured for 6 month, before it was eventually discovered that there was some kind of slip up. If Austria had done that, we would be at war right now...
So americans. Fuel my predjeduce. Its just sad. |
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Macavity
Joined: Nov 23, 2004
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| Posted:
Dec 15, 2005 - 21:38 |
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.... BigMac is back ..... Please return to referring to me by my full name to avoid confusion. |
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When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up. -C.S. Lewis |
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