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Apojar



Joined: Aug 05, 2006

Post   Posted: Jun 27, 2014 - 00:11 Reply with quote Back to top

Season XIII NBFL Draft Analysis/Review Show

CHEFCTER: Good evening, NBFL fans. It's THAT time of year once again! It's the time where the good folks at Blood Sports Daily Network, or BSDN as we like to refer to it, allow us to do what we love; analyzing the greatest league on FUMBBL, the NBFL.

If you've ever watched the show before, you'll know that I'm your co-host Stabbem Chefcter, alongside my long-time partner Kill Wiper Jr. How long have we been doing this show, Kill?

WIPER JR: Since 1947, Stabby.

CHEFCTER: Since 1947!!!

WIPER JR: Here's how it works, fans. We look at each individual drafted by the 32 NBFL teams, and offer our opinions and analyses as to what kind of an impact, immediate or long-term, the player will have on his new club. We offer letter grades, from A+ to F, based on player impact, ability, and the need of the team.

CHEFCTER: Rest assured, in all the years we've been doing this, we've only handed out one (1) F. Be warned, however, as it happened to be in this season's Expansion Draft.

WIPER JR: That one was a rough pick, Stabby.

CHEFCTER: So ladies and gentlemen, we're going to pause 10 seconds here for a brief advertisement. You're watching BSDN'S coverage of the Season XIII NBFL Draft Analysis/Review Show. Here's a word from Darrin Dodgers, former big guy for the Mean Way Hackers.



DODGERS: Make sure YOUR life is safe, without worrying about the little nuisances around you. Ask your local Serrate Arm Insurance agent for a Viscount GAHHHHHHHHBLE Chuck of all those little goblins in your life.



CHEFCTER: And we're back, and we are ready for action! You ready for this year's draft, Kill?

WIPER JR: Been looking forward to it for weeks, Stabby. Let's get this going!

CHEFCTER: Without further ado, let's delve into the #1 overall pick in this year's draft, and it belonged to:

1. INDIANECROPOLIS

Race: Khemri
Player Selected: Jory "Jumping Husky" Johnson (Connecticut)
Skills: Block, Dodge, +ST, +AG - 69 points
Position: Throw-Ra
Grade of Pick: A

CHEFCTER: Khemri are a very difficult team to effectively field. Their lack of reliably durable linemen becomes a downfall later in matches UNLESS they wear their spiked boots and play dirty. For the most part, Khemri are defined by the strength of their front 4; the Tomb Guardians. Indianecropolis has 1 super-star, 1 star-in-the-making, and two up-and comers close to gaining their 2nd skill. Probably no need to look here for a player, as a Tomb Guardian skills up at a moderate rate.

Coach Drokmar already has two VERY good Blitz-Ra's on the squad. No need to draft one.

If ANYBODY were to draft a Skeleton with the 1st overall pick, they would automatically receive an F from BSDN, and lose all their endorsements and sponsorships. Thankfully, that's not the case here.

So, let's delve into the last position available: the Throw-Ra.

Indianecropolis currently employs two Throw-Ras. Their leader is Jerome Bettis. He's only adequate at this stage in his career, as he features no doubles. He also has a lingering armor problem. Their second in line is Andrew Luck. He has Hail Mary Pass, which starts him on the path of being a pretty good DEFENSIVE Throw-Ra. Drokmar is searching for an offensive threat, as well as reliable ball-handling.

With Throw-Ras being in the Skilled section, we glance at the available players. For reliable ball control, Johnson is the best player available. He features BOTH bonuses to his agility and his strength. On top of that, he has Blodge. Johnson will be a dynamic game-changer. It becomes rather difficult to deal with a ball carrier with extra strength, let alone one that is surrounded by 4 Tomb Guardians. In all likelihood, the Pejoshkwe will buy out Bettis' contract, and use that money to sign their new rookie phenom.

WIPER JR: I think we're in agreement that Indianecroplis got the best player for their needs. Trends also indicate that +AG and/or +ST players come off the boards very early in the process. They capitalized on a two-stat player right away. Now, it's my turn for dissecting the 2nd overall pick.

2. LOTHERN BAY

Race: High Elf
Player Selected: Alexander Teich (Navy)
Skills: +ST, +MA, Mighty Blow - 37 points
Position: Dragon Warrior (I still REFUSE to call them simply Blitzers)
Grade of Pick: A

WIPER JR: There isn't all that much I can really debate with this pick, but I'm gonna try! First things first, check out how this pick came to be:

Let's first look at the possibilities for positions:

Lion Warriors: Lothern Bay currently has 3, and they're all above average. This isn't the position to draft.

Phoenix Warrior: Lothern Bay features a young Limp Wrist Nico, who does already have Strong Arm in his repertoire. Let's leave this as a possibility, as there's a few excellent players in the Skilled section.

Dragon Warrior: One rookie, and one with only 1 skill. This is a big need to fill.

Linemen: Yes, there's some good ones, but at the 2nd overall pick, something typically says that the teams needs more help than just the Lineman position.

So, it's now down to either a Phoenix Warrior or a Dragon Warrior. There's a load of very good ball-handlers in the Skilled section to choose from. It's a very deep draft this year. With a Dragon Warrior, however, it's not quite as deep.

There's a few good players out there to choose from. Teich is the only player in the pool for the position that features both +ST and +MA. Despite having players there with two doubles (MB, Guard), it appears that Teich would be left somewhat exposed by not having Dodge. At least Teich will be able to hold his own a bit better by being the much stronger player.

The only case that could be made against Teich is the depth of so many good Throwers available. Agility is highly sought by Elven squads. To have +AG on a ball-handler, however, is a gift from Nuffle himself.

The other A option that's out there, in BSDN's opinion would be Michelle Dickinson. By having +AG, Accurate, AND Strong Arm, the ball can be distributed up to 13 paces away on any roll that isn't a 1. This would allow the ball to reside all the way back by the goal line, only to be moved and distributed when necessary. Nearly the entire field can be covered with ease in 1 turn.

All things considered, it's VERY difficult to pass up a 2-stat star, and I don't have a problem at all with this pick.

CHEFCTER: Good insight there, Killy. That's a tough call to choose between two players of that kind of level of talent. Let's hope that Lothern Bay can keep him healthy for a long time.

Well folks, that's the first two teams of this Season's NBFL Draft. We'll have our next few teams coming up in our next segment. We hope you'll stick around, as we've got two more NFC teams to address after the break. Stick around!
Apojar



Joined: Aug 05, 2006

Post   Posted: Jun 28, 2014 - 00:24 Reply with quote Back to top

CHEFCTER: Welcome back,NBFLenthusiasts to the NBFL Draft Review/Analysis Show. As always, he's Kill Wiper Jr, and I'm Stabbem Chefcter.

WIPER JR: We hope you're ready for some more dynamite insight, as we've got a new surprise to introduce during this analysis segment.

CHEFCTER: That's right, Killy. We won't give it away just yet, but we do want to dive right back in to the Draft breakdown! I'm back up with the #3 overall pick this year, and it belonged to:


3. INSANE-LOUIS

Race: Chaos
Player Selected: Gary "Pyro" Wilburn (Connecticut)
Skills: Block, Dodge, Tackle, +ST - 75 points
Position: Beastman
Grade of Pick: C

CHEFCTER: Insane-Louis got beat up last season. There's no real other way to describe it. It's very difficult, as last season shows, for a young, underskilled Chaos team to compete in a division with highly skilled Skaven and Orcs. They were at a disadvantage from the beginning, but had a few bright spots along the way; namely the play of Rocky Longer, their Minotaur.

"Da Goats", as we here at BSDN affectionately refer to them, have quite a few holes to fill. They have a few ball-handling candidates in Norm Van Brocklin and their expansion draftee PayUp Manning. They have a future basher in Marshall Faulk. The club will continue to develop Merlin Olsen, their only experienced Chaos Warrior.

That's really where it ends for the folks from the midwest. They need SO much to start competing, starting with some highly-skilled front-liners, the Chaos Warrior core.

Coach Garnak, however, is looking for support. He's looking for a Beastman that gives him a bit extra from the average player in the draft. In short, it appears that Garnak wants a +ST player.

Looking over the available players with +ST, there's a 2-stat player in the Lineman section (+ST, +MA), but Insane-Louis passes. Jack Walker (Fresno State) only has Block to go along with his stats. His functionality is a little limited, despite being stronger and faster.

Garnak ultimately settles on Gary "Pyro" Wilburn, counting on his current skill set to keep him alive and functioning. It certainly helps that he is at 75 points, only 1 away from adding another skill to the arsenal.

Something tells me that we here at BSDN aren't the only folks that aren't as high on that pick. For the first time ever, we'd like to welcome a special guest to our broadcast. Live from somewhere in New York, we'd like to welcome in one of the long-time coaches of the NBFL and former owner of mutliple franchises. Please welcome coach Apojar to the program. Apo, how are you?

APOJAR: I'm well Stabby. Glad to be with you today.

CHEFCTER: Apo, you're a well-known Chaos coach. Tell us what you think of this pick by Insane-Louis

APOJAR: First off, don't get me wrong: Wilburn is a very good player. On a well-developed Chaos team, I'd love to add him into my ranks. On this particular team, however, Wilburn just doesn't fit well.

WIPER JR: Apo, this is Kill Wiper Jr. Do you agree that Insane-Louis should have drafted a Chaos Warrior here?

APOJAR: They really had to, Kill. There current roster only has one skilled Chaos Warrior, and the way they've developed Merlin Olsen, he's geared more toward a supporting role by taking Guard so early on in his career. Given these circumstances, you just shouldn't draft a support Beastman, simply becuase you don't have anyone or anything to support...

CHEFCTER: So give us your thoughts on whom "Da Goats" should've drafted here, Apo.

APOJAR: You have to look at this with a few points in your mind. First, the Strength section of this season's draft is REMARKABLY shallow; the most shallow we have ever seen in a draft pool. If you're going to grab a star in this section, it needs to be early. Second, you must remember who or what else is in your division. You have an Orc squad with two Blodge Blitzers, as well as two Skaven teams that you have to play twice a year. Lastly, you need to examine the current make-up of your own roster, and try to grab as many vital skills as you can.

As I look through the choices, the best option that appears to me is Jack Mewhort from Ohio. He comes with Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle, which adds the extra beef needed to ding up a few Orcs. He also comes equipped to faceplant some well-developed Gutter Runners which he'll be seeing multiple times a year.

WIPER JR: Apo, any truth to the rumor that you were forced out of the NBFL by the Commish?

APOJAR: I want to put this out there. That conversation I had with my girlfriend was audio taped without my prior knowledge. The public and the media has completely taken all my racist comments out of context. Now, I'm being forced to appoint my ex-wife to sell our portion of the franchise to some former CEO of Spikegosoft. It's all bogus!! I'm gonna sue the NBFL, I'm gonna sue the Commish! I'm gonna sue.....

CHEFCTER: Whoa, looks like we're having some technical difficulties, as we've lost Apojar, but we're grateful for the time and insight he gave us on the draft. Killy, you have anything to add?

WIPER JR: Not really, Stabby. He got the draft analysis right on, but he left little to be desired with his questionable exit from the league... But enough of that, onto the next squad in this year's draft!

4. BUFFALO

Race: Wood Elf
Player Selected: Lou Holts (Kent State)
Skills: Block, Diving Catch, +MA - 37 points
Position: Catcher
Grade of Pick: A-

WIPER JR: Buffalo will always have an uphill task ahead of them in the AFC East, which is quite possibly the ultimate bash-fest of the NBFL. These 4 teams enjoy inflicting multiple devastating injuries on each other game after game. The major advantage that the Hillbillies have is their massive agile movements. Don't blink, because you'll have missed their Wardancer core!

Let's look at their current roster:

Wardancers: There are two very good ones employed by the Hillbillies. No need to search here.

Thrower: I'm not really sure how or why but somehow, Billie the Bow is still alive and heaving footballs. No need to look here.

Linemen: There's a few good ones here (Grim, Simpson, Hull). They're the hardest to skill up in the long run. It's possible to look here, but it would have to be someone extraordinary at the 4th overall pick.

Catcher: Yes!. Coach burgun824 only has 3 of his 4 possible players for this position. 2 of the 3 are pure rookies. This is a great place to look to better the squad.

So, we look at the available players in the Skilled section. There's a wide array available, but there isn't just that one player there to fill every requirement. There are, however, a good number of +AG players remaining. There's also a decent player remaining with +ST. There's a good array of players that will fit.

burgun824 ultimately settles on a player without agility or strength. He DOES, however, have a coveted stat in +MA. Holts also has Block, Diving Catch. There is a drawback here, which we hope that burgun824 is aware of. Since the changeover by the NBFL to the CRP ruleset, the Diving Catch skill no longer awards the extra square to the player making the reception. He will still be in the same square he began his turn in. That will still lead to some chain-pushing to avoid as much of the GFI as humanly possible. Granted, with the extra move, it will be that much easier to one-turn, but nobody ever has much luck with the dreaded GFI's.

To finalize with this grade, Buffalo drafted the correct position.. In fairness to the Hillbillies, there isn't really an A grade player out there to draft. They got a player that will certainly have an impact early and often, so the awarded grade reflects the quality of their choice.

To be clear, we here at BSDN had a mock draft the evening before the actual draft. We had Buffalo also picking a Catcher, but we had them taking S. Remy Doege out of Texas Tech. The bonus agility for a Wood Elf Catcher was just too appealing for us to ignore. Add Side Step, Strip Ball, and Block to the equation, and you've got a very versatile Catcher on your squad.

All in all, it was a quality selection by the Hillbillies.

CHEFCTER: That is some expert analysis, Killy. Ladies and gentlemen, Killy's analysis this segment has been brought to you by Bloodweiser's newest offering, their IPA (Im-Paled Ale). The drink to celebrate with when your team scores that important CAS...

Stick around folks, we have far mar insight to bring you regarding the NBFL. We've only begun with the first few teams, but there's SO much more to follow. Special guest appearances and interviews! More grades and excitement. Stay tuned, as in the next segment, we'll dive into two more NFC teams with dreams of bashy goodness running through their heads. Stick around, folks! There's plenty more to come!.
Apojar



Joined: Aug 05, 2006

Post   Posted: Jun 30, 2014 - 23:54 Reply with quote Back to top

CHEFCTER: Welcome back, folks! Thank you as always for joining us for the NBFL Draft Analysis/Review Show. I'm your co-host Stabbem Chefcter alongside my partner Kill Wiper Jr. We've already gone through the pick for one team in the NFC West. We now move onto the 2nd of the four teams.


5. BAN FRANCISCO

Race: Orc
Player Selected: Emmit Smith (Florida)
Skills: Block, +MA, Sure Hands, +AG - 74 points
Position: Goblin
Grade of Pick: D-

CHEFCTER: No. I don't know any simpler way to say it. No.

You have the 5th overall pick in the NBFL draft. Unless you're an Underworld or Goblin squad, you don't draft a Goblin this high in the draft. Most GM's of the NBFL will predict that a team drafting a stunty player in the top 5 will most likely have another top 5 pick next season.

This is NOT to say that Smith isn't a quality player; nothing could be further from the truth. There's just too many holes to fill, however, to comfortably draft a Goblin here. Let's look at the roster:

Big Guy: The Footy Fighters have Phoney Tro'Selli on the roster, who is more than adequate. They're ok here.

Black Orc Blocker: 4 VERY good ones on the squad. Definitely no need to look here.

Blitzer: Yes. This is a strong possibility. 3 good ones, but a rookie as the 4th. This is a good place to search, but we must look also at the other two positions.

Thrower: Yes. They have one on the squad, but he's a complete rookie. This would be a nice place to look.

Lineman: Yes. Out of 3 players, only 1 has any value. The other two are rookies. This is a strong section to look at, but NOT for a Goblin.

If we were really to rank order of need here by position, we here at BSDN would rank it this way:

1. Lineman
2. Thrower
3. Blitzer
4. Goblin (after Trolls and BOBs)

Why a Lineman first? There are already 3 very good Blitzers on the squad. It's must easier to cover a hole when you have some very functional parts around it. The only thing you can really consider to be a "problem" with the Blitzer core is their lack of Guard, but that can be said about the team as a whole.

While a Thrower would be attractive, the Footies currently employ Tui Tuiasosopo as their ball handler. In 15 games, he's put up 11 goals for the boys in Ban Francisco.

The Linemen would be the spot then. There's a varying amount of ways that coach Keggiemckill could go here. In all honesty, Smith is a very solid selection... as an Orc Lineman. What are BSDN's choices? Here's our top 3:

3: Stone Casey - Dirty Player, Kick - 16 pts.
Both of these skills would be rather important to have on the roster. Currently, they don't have either one.

2. Smith - You know his deal, but he fits great as a Lineman. His talents are somewhat wasted as a Goblin.

1. Jack "Walk On" Walker - Block, +ST, +MA - 31 points.
This is who we at BSDN had on our board for Ban Francisco. With the 4 BOBs, and with Tuiasosopo on the books, another +ST player effectively gives them 6 Black Orc Blockers. Add to that the Big Guy slot being ST5, and you're now on par with the front lines of teams like Atlatl, with an ever better developed backfield.

Good choice on player, but an abysmal choice on the assigned position. It's not an F because we feel that Keggie got a very good player, but has designated him to a place where his talents will be under-utilized.

WIPER JR: I have to agree with you here, Stabby. Orcs are big and green. Why draft someone who is little and green to play on a team full of big and greens? I just don't like that pick for the long-term future of the Footies. Now, onto our sixth draft pick from this season.

6. GNAWLEANS

Race: Nurgle
Player Selected: Colt "Vampy" Nichter (Vampirebilt)
Skill: +MA, Block, Dodge, Tackle - 62 points
Position: Pestigor
Grade of Pick: A

WIPER JR: I love Nurgle squads. They just seem to wreak (no pun intended) havoc upon their opponents in many different ways. They're one of the most flexible teams in respect to their building. Gnawleans plays in a division that has been dominated for many seasons by the big meanies in Atlatl. They are slowly developing into formidable competition for the other members of the NFC South.

The Stanks have to deal with both types of teams within their division; the heavy passing games of Lothern Bay and Carolina, as well as the bash-your-face front line of Atlat'l. Management has to mold their team to effectively deal with all these different types of threats.

Having laid out the battlefield for you, now let's look at the current roster:

Beast of Nurgle: Gnawleans currently brings Muerte Anderssen to the table. He's already more difficult to deal with, featuring Guard and Stand Firm. He is more the capable of anchoring the center of the defense.

Nurgle Warrior: There are 4 useful, diverse players already on the squad. I don't see this as being a need to address.

Pestigor: There are 2 excellent players on the squad in Lance Mitchell and Az-Zahir Hakim. The other two are very young in their careers. This is, most likely, the place that coach fatfinley should look for a player.

Rotter: Possible, but not the likeliest choice. As theory would dictate, you will only have two Rotters on the pitch at any given time. A Rotter's primary purpose is to take some pressure/hits off of the players that you really want to keep on the pitch: the Pestigors or the Nurgle Warriors of the squad. To put it bluntly, a Rotter is expendable, especially with Decay. We'll keep it as an outside possibility, but in all likelihood, this is not the place to look.

So, we've come along to the idea that we're probably looking for a Pestigor, so, let's look at what's out there.

When looking at the game plan of how the front office of Gnawleans has brought Anderssen and Hakim along, fatfinley has a frame he wants out of his players here; harder to deal with by employing Blodge. They also need to be able to Tackle. If you look down the list of available players to fit the pre-existing pattern, there's only one player that works, and that's Nichter.

3 Pestigors with Block, Dodge, Tackle, and a bonus stat. That's a very versatile Pestigor core.

In fairness, there ARE a few Rotters that are VERY good. It seems far more fitting, however, to adhere to the pattern that fatfinley has established out of his positionals. This was a solid pick. It wasn't seccksi or flashy, but it's 100% the right pick to make for this squad. The folks at BSDN would recommend releasing Iron-Belly Kraig Weyhard in order to draft Nichter. We see the potential for Chomp Bailey to become a harassing-type of player in the future, with skills such as Wrestle, Strip Ball. That's why we'd opt to keep the Wrestle player over someone with Block.

CHEFCTER: Way to pick up on the pattern there, Killy. Many outsiders wouldn't have noticed the structure being used by the boys in Gnawleans.

WIPER JR: That's one of the many reasons BSDN asks us to do this every year, my friend. You pick up on the nuances as you go.

CHEFCTER: Right you are, Killy. Stick around folks, We're through the first 6 teams of the Season XIII NBFL Draft Review/Analysis Show.

WIPER JR: That's right, folks. In our next segment, we'll take a look at two teams from the AFC. One of which is a perennial strength in the AFC North; the other is the new franchise on the block in the AFC South.

CHEFCTER: We're going to take a short pause for an advertisement, and we'll jump right back on the wagon. For now, here's a few words from one of our sponsors:


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Apojar



Joined: Aug 05, 2006

Post   Posted: Jul 02, 2014 - 23:36 Reply with quote Back to top

CHEFCTER: Welcome back, folks. We're through the first 6 teams this year. Without further ado, we're about to jump into the 7th pick, which belonged to...



7. PITTSBURGH

Race: Chaos Dwarf
Player Selected: Jack "Walk-On" Walker (Fresno State)
Skills: +ST, +MA* (had Block) - 31/16 points
Position: Chaos Dwarf Blocker
Grade of Pick: A

CHECFTER: When you're a team that drafts at 7, and you can get a 2-stat player fall to you in the position of your greatest need, it's as if Nuffle hath smiled upon ye...

There are two possibilities as to what position to draft, but the answer should be obvioius. Pittsburgh currently employs a rookie Minotaur, but with the Big Guy section being SO short this draft, the player there doesn't fit the plan too well.

Chaos Dwarf Blockers, or CDB's as we shall further refer to them as, are the lifeblood of the squad. They are permitted to employ up to 6 at the position. Currently, the squad only has 5.

Looking through the available Linemen in the draft, Walker really is the best choice for the squad. Coach Nicodemus1 gets yet another stat freak onto his club; this one is a 2-stat gem, featuring both +ST and +MA. There are a few other gems in the Linemen section, but nobody quite fits the game plan of the CDBs.

Right player, right position. That makes for a successful squad... and a good grade.

WIPER JR: How right you are, Stabbem! Pittsburgh is one of those older, veteran teams of the NBFL. Here's hoping they return to prominence soon, as they're always an exciting watch.

Now, let's dissect one of the brand new teams this year, the youngsters in the AFC South who have a brand new ownership group.


8. HEARTHSTONE

Race: Dwarf

Expansion Pick #1: Trevor Flyton (from Cleveland)
Skills: Block, Mighty Blow, Piling On, Jump Up, Juggernaut - 133 points
Position: Runner

Expansion Pick #2: Josie Skull (from Chicago)
Skills: Tackle, Stand Firm, Mighty Blow, Guard - 62 points
Position: Blitzer
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Player Selected: Hundley (UCLA)
Skills: +MA, +AG, Accurate - 45 points
Position: Runner
Grade of Pick: A

WIPER JR: We come to the first of our Expansion clubs this season. These clubs have already drafted players that were playing for some of the now-defunct squads. Hearthstone already has a very talented Blitzer on the books, and their 1st of 2 Runners (whom is the only player to draw an F grade from us here at BSDN. Be sure to check out the NBFL Expansion Draft Review/Analysis Bogcast for the reviews we offered.

Dwarves are a bashing team. They win on positioning. They win on sheer strength, and ball control. They still have to achieve the same goals as other teams with regards to winning: score TDs. Hearthstone picks up a reliable ball handler with Hundley. His bonus +AG will certainly remove most any concerns with ball control; even in the rain. It may not seem like it, but to the psyche of an NBFL coach, a 66% chance is SO much greater than a 50% chance.

So, we at BSDN like the pick, but was there a better pick out there to take? Hearthstone already has a Blitzer. Was there a better choice to make at another position?

Looking over the list, there are indeed a number of candidates for a "good" Troll Slayer, or even another Blitzer. Compared to the impact that a +AG, +MA Runner will make, there isn't anybody on the list for the other positionals that matches up to Hundley.

One question then remains. Is Hundley the best Runner that's out there? We at BSDN believe so. Hundley has the added ability to pass the ball in absolute emergencies. It's not the MOST reliable skill when it comes to Dwarves, but it sure a nice potential option to have. Between the added agility and the extra point of movement, we think that Hundley hits the A mark this time around for Hearthstone.

CHEFCTER: Folks, that's expert analysis right there, breaking it down position by position, player by player. We strive for the best here at BSDN, bringing it to you as we see it. Hang around a bit longer, as in our next segment, we're going to be looking at picks 9 and 10. You'll be treated to analysis of two more of the Expansion draft squads, both of which will be in the AFC. We also have a few more special guests to interview along the way, which we'll bring you LIVE. We'll be right back, but first, here's an advertisement from one of our many business partners.


Good evening, my name is Grok Bransen, and I'm the President of Memorial Moan Skittering Hospital.

We would like to thank our partners, the NBFL, for their continued commitment to our cause these past 12 seasons. OTD is our subsidiary, responsible for securing, matching, and transplanting life-saving organs from deceased individuals. Many fans who turn out to watch an NBFL match are brutally beaten or wounded if they root for the opposition. At OTD, we want to help as many people as we possibly can.

In Blood Bowl, players and fans often die. It's a part of the action. We help out the sick and elderly by harvesting the organs of the dead, and giving those under-privileged individuals a new chance on life.

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On behalf of all of us at OTD, and those of us at Memorial Moan Skittering Hospital, we'd like to say "thank you" to the NBFL for our many years of friendship. We fully hope to continue our relationship for many seasons to come.
Apojar



Joined: Aug 05, 2006

Post   Posted: Jul 04, 2014 - 01:18 Reply with quote Back to top

CHEFCTER: We're back folks. We hope you've enjoyed the new and improved look of our Sesason XIII NBFL Draft Review/Analysis Show. By now, you know who we are.

WIPER JR: That's true, but our jobs are to make sure you know who your team drafted this season. We try to give you all the insight on who's coming, and what kind of impact they'll have in the immediate future.

CHEFCTER: Having said that, let's get into our next two teams, both of which are Expansion clubs hoping to make a difference in the NBFL.


9. NEW TOMB

Race: Khemri

Expansion Pick #1: Eric Metcalf (from Cleveland)
Skills: Block, Mighty Blow, +AG, +AG, Sure Hands - 84/51 points
Position: Throw-Ra

Expansion Pick #2: Michael Bargen (from Cleveland)
Skills: Block, Mighty Blow, Guard, Break Tackle - 60 points
Position: Tomb Guardian
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Player Selected: Jack Mewhort (Ohio)
Skills: Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle - 38 points
Position: [color=purple]Tomb Guardian

Grade of Pick: A

CHEFCTER: This wasn't an easy A for me to give, believe it or not. Here's why.

Having already drafted one Tomb Guardian, it can be hard to make a case for drafting a second one without picking up a talented Blitz-Ra along the way. Looking down the list of available Blitzers, there are one or two that could certainly fit, such as Evans. Under normal circumstances, he would be the hands-down choice to pick up for a developing Khemri squad.

Drafting a 2nd Tomb Guardian would not normally be my preference, but Bargen is THAT good. His skill set (i.e. - Block AND Tackle) is not commonly seen in a Big Guy. Bargen becomes an instant star-in-the-making for New Tomb with the likes of Buffalo in their division. He will prove to be worth his weight in gold pieces if he manages to catch up to either of the Hillbillies' Wardancers. He'll also prove to be a match-up problem for the Bull Centaurs on New Angryland.

Bargen will prove to be quite an asset in both the short and long term for New Tomb. We at BSDN feel this was the best choice to make for the newcomers to the brutal AFC East. Best wishes on staying .... alive?

WIPER JR: The AFC East has long been known as a very bashy division. As the New Tomb franchise is brand new this year, it's our pleasure to welcome Coach DrPoods to the program. Welcome to the League, sir!

DrPoods: Thanks very much Kill, it is a pleasure to be here. Looking forward to the challenge.

WIPER JR: Tell us DrPoods, were you given any kind of warning about entering a squad into the AFC East?

DrPoods: An interesting question. Well, on first analysis the ownership team recognized that we are facing a group of superb coaches that are well within their comfort zones with the teams that they run. We initially were in talks with a minor league Chaos franchise that wanted to make the leap to the big time but there were two issues with this. One was observing the struggles of the valiant Coach Apojar this season and the fact that we need to deal with the Guard in New Angryland and the behemoths running amok in Miami. As for Buffalo, Wood Elves are always a challenge regardless of who you choose.

We held discussions with various league luminaries who gave us some excellent suggestions as to potential franchises that would be competitive and we were certainly made aware that it is not a division for the weak-willed or unprepared. With that in mind, I made an executive decision to go another way in choosing some enthusiastic lads from Khemri that I met on vacation.

CHEFCTER: DrPoods, this is Stabbem Chefcter. What do you think it's going to take to survive the sheer power of the top two teams (Miami and New Angryland), without overlooking the scoring machine of Buffalo?

DrPoods:Well guys, I think it is safe to say that we need to try and match the beef up front. Part of this is getting the best TGs we can through the draft. Block has to be a priority as anything that can keep the big boys upright is a bonus in our book. Naturally, you can't exert a tackle zone from the ground. If we can get this going then it can mitigate the big guys in Miami and allied with the strength we have it could have an effect on the punishing line of New Angryland. The second thing we need is to take it to them. No such thing as passive survival in the NBFL, Stabbem.

So we load up on Mighty Blow and hope we can get a numbers advantage early. If we can? Keep grinding away. Regeneration is a nice thing to have in the back pocket for this strategy, but you don't want to rely on a 4+. Finally, they say the days of the heavy boot are gone. We hope to prove that wrong. As for Buffalo? Getting Tackle will be essential and we look to our Blitz-Ras and TGs to "git 'er done".

WIPER JR: Care to offer us a prediction on a record for this coming season, sir?

DrPoods: Well, I am not in the business of making bold predictions Kill. We have seen Khemri struggle in the NBFL before and it would be sheer hubris to be making outlandish claims about imminent glorious championships. We want to make some noise on the field before we start running our mouths.

That being said we feel we can be competitive. We have drafted well and our support players have developed nicely. Case in point? D'Brickashaw Ferguson, a free agent TG, worked hard in preseason and has learned Block. Allied with our draftees we have an entire TG crew who are Blocked up and ready for anything.

And with Eric Metcalf dealing with the ball handling? Anything can happen.

So we are hoping for a couple of wins to make our mark on the competition and be as competitive as possible in all our games. I am realistic guys, and anything more than that would be an excellent season for an expansion franchise indeed. Some of the best teams and best coaches in the land are part of the NBFL and we need to show that we belong.

CHEFCTER: Last question for you. Tell us about your draft picks. How do you feel you did with the draft this season?

DrPoods: We are delighted with how the draft went.

Even if it was tempting to simply load up on TGs, we felt it was essential to get our ball handling sorted right off the bat. Picking up Eric Metcalf gave us AG4 to pick up the ball, Block for protection and Mighty Blow for the defensive side of the game. The fact that he has Sure Hands also can benefit us against the pesky defenders up there in Buffalo.

Michael Bargen was also collected in the Expansion Draft. Block, Break Tackle, Guard and Mighty Blow were simply too good to pass up. Simply a fantastic player to build the team around.

Jack Mewhort from OASSU at #9 was just what we needed. Two double skill with Block and Tackle with some Mighty Blow added in for some good hitting power. Another Block TG with Tackle can help us to deal with Buffalo and any other slippery customers.

We were a little surprised that Jevon Kearse from Florida was still available at #34 but we jumped at the chance to take him. With the same skill set as Mewhort we have more Block, more Mighty Blow and another Tackler. Simply put, with the way the drafts proceeded and the way the board was set this year we don't know how we could have done better with the picks we had. As an expansion team, we had nothing BUT needs and we feel that we filled the most pressing in the draft. Hopefully the rest of the team can develop around them and we can do well.

WIPER JR: DrPoods, newest owner and Coach of the New Tomb Jets, thanks for stopping by today, sir.

CHEFCTER: Well, there's a great analysis from someone in the know of the inner workings of New Tomb. We wish them well. Let's continue on to team number 10 of this season's draft... the boys from...


10. CLEAVE LAND

Race: Dark Elf

Expansion Draft #1: David Attacker (from Seattle)
Skills: Block, Kick, Dirty Player - 31 points
Position: Lineman

Expansion Draft #2: D.C. Jefferson (from Arizona)
Skills: Mighty Blow, Piling On, Jump Up - 31 points
Position: Blitzer
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Player Selected: Chase Garnham (Vampirebilt)
Skills: Block, +AG, * (had Dodge) - 16 (31) points
Position: Witch Elf
Grade of Pick: A-

WIPER JR: I was afraid to give this pick a B, for fear of the WMD's coming to my home and faceraping me.

Don't take my humor the wrong way, however. Garnham is a gifted player. Is he the best fit for a young Dark Elf squad who has already picked up a Lineman and a Blitzer? Let's examine.

I would agree with anyone who says that another Lineman wouldn't be the way to go here. Having one Blitzer already, drafting a 2nd is a possibility, but a bit more remote.

Coach BillBrasky appears to have a bit of a game plan going, or at least, that's what it looks like to the outside observer. He's doing what he can to keep the payroll lower. By doing so, he can be issued at lot of inducements to play earlier matches. One would normally think this move would backfire in the NBFL, but coach BillBrasky and his staff is more than capable of playing this valid strategy.

So, keeping that in mind, he looks for one of the positions he hasn't addressed yet to find a solid player at an "entry-level" salary of SPPs. There are a myriad of excellent Throwers on the board, but Dark Elves shouldn't be AS worried about ball-handling with their AG4 across the board. Even in the pouring rain, they'll pick up a ball on a 3+.

That leaves either a Witch Elf or an Assassin to draft. With Frenzy on board, a Witch Elf is, in all likelihood, going to have far more on-the-pitch utility. When looking in the Skilled section for a player with great utility at a reasonable price, there sits Garnham. He will be a Blodger with +AG, which will allow him access to places that normal elves may not dare to venture into.

We here at BSDN also had Cleave Land taking a Witch Elf. Our draft experts had Cleave Land taking S. Remy Doege out of Texas Tech. He would prove to be a VERY annoying Witch Elf both now and long-term, having Block, +AG, Side Step, and Strip Ball. BillBrasky is the type of coach that could get his players correctly positioned to take the most advantage of Doege's Frenzy. Doege, however, comes with a 56 point SPP tag, which doesn't fit the apparent short-term game plan for the Dawg Pound. It's a valid strategy, and this draft pick plays right into the plan. Good pick based on a solid game plan.

CHEFCTER: Folks, we're through the first 10 teams of this season's NBFL Draft. Our next segment will feature two more teams from the AFC.

WIPER JR: Stick around, as we have some more executive interviews, as well as revisiting a few former players that have graced the pitch, and lived to tell their tales.

CHEFCTER: That's right, Killy. Truly riveting stories they can tell. Folks, we'll return right after this short commercial break. Stay tuned!
Apojar



Joined: Aug 05, 2006

Post   Posted: Jul 09, 2014 - 02:50 Reply with quote Back to top

CHEFCTER: Welcome back, NBFL fans to the NBFL Draft Review/Analysis Show. He's Kill Wiper Jr., I'm Stabbem Chefcter, and we're doing what we love to do: break down this season's Main Draft team by team.

WIPER JR: That's right, Stabby. We've been doing this for quite some time now. We're almost as much a tradition as Christmas.

CHEFCTER: Whoa whoa whoa, Killy. Let's not go that far. I don't want to unwrap you as a gift on Christmas morning. No offense to you, sir.

WIPER JR: None taken, my friend.

CHEFCTER: Well, let's keep this tradition going. Time to jump into team #11, which happens to be:


11. BALTIMORC

Race: Orc
Player Selected: Nelly KnockYuBlockOff (Washington)
Skills: Mighty Blow, Tackle, +AG - 33 points
Position: Blitzer
Grade of Pick: C+

CHEFCTER: Orcs are a versatile machine. At times, it seems like the sport of Blood Bowl was invented for them, and the amusement of Orc fans. They can run. They can bash. They can pass. They can defend. Orcs aren't the BEST at any of them, but there isn't anything they aren't (at least) average at. That's the appeal of playing an Orc squad.

Orcs have the same squad issues as many other teams out there; certain positions will skill up faster than others. Therein lies the reason for the lower grade for this pick. Let me further explain.

Here is, in descending order, the list of positions, in the order of speed they skill.

1) Thrower - They handle the ball. They score the majority of touchdowns.
2) Blitzer - The versatility of the squad. Mobile, flexible.
3) Linemen - more mobility and agility allows for more possibility.
4) BOBs - Their low agility and move pretty much prevent them from skilling up on anything other than CAS caused or the occasional MVP.
5) Troll - same problem. CAS/MVP points only.
6) Goblin - The emergency player. Sometimes throwing them works. Other times, they're food...Baltimorc is the exception here, as they have constant Goblin play.

So, having looked at the above list, let's look at Baltimorc's roster:

Coach Miyuso has two very good Throwers on the squad. He has his 4 Blitzers, 3 are very decent, 1 of which is a Rookie. Their Linemen are more than average. Even Baltimorc's Goblins are very good, as one was the team's Season 12 draft pick.

Their Troll is young, but he's already equipped with Guard. For an Orc squad, that's really all that their Troll absolutely HAS to have. Everything else is helpful, but Guard is, by far, the most important skill for them to have. The BOB's, however, are lacking. Baltimorc currently only has 3 out of their 4. This is an area of need.

If I were in the front office of an Orc franchise that needed both a Blitzer and a BOB, I would choose the BOB 9 times out of 10. The only time I would NOT choose the BOB is if there was such an extraordinary Blitzer available to draft. Such players certainly wouldn't make it all the way to pick #11, however.

We here at BSDN felt the best choice for Baltimorc was to draft BOB Jevon Kearse out of Florida. He would be an ST4 player who would bolster that front line with Block, Tackle, and Mighty Blow.

I feel like the strength that Kearse would bring to the squad would outweigh the skill set that KnockYuBlockOff would bring. I understand that people hoard and covet agile players. I get that. To me, the importance of having a skilled Black Orc Blocker that can do some damage is just more valuable to me than drafting a Blitzer that can perform the same tasks with slightly more agility, based on the skill-up list I previously cited.

KnockYuBlockOff is good, don't get me wrong. Is he good ENOUGH to overcome the need of a well-skilled Black Orc Blocker? We at BSDN don't believe so.

WIPER JR: Nice to see that we think alike from time to time, Stabby. Strong, skilled, up-front beef is tough to come by. Got to grab it when you can. Good work, Stabby. Now, onto the folks at #12.


12. FANGSAS CITY

Race: Vampire
Player Selected: S. "Remy" Doege (Texas Tech)
Skills: Block, Side Step, +AG, Strip Ball - 56 points
Position: Vampire
Grade of Pick: A+

WIPER JR: I can't say enough about how awe-inspiring this pick will be.

The Vampires on this squad work as a well-oiled machine to create havoc in the backfields of their AFC West opponents. They are the oldest players in the NBFL, with Matt Cassel, who much to our dismay is STILL ALIVE... having played in nearly 100 games now.

Think of the potential of Coach Nekran's squad. Let's peek together.

Cassel - He's the ball-handler. With his knowledge and skills, the ball goes anywhere on the pitch with just the roll of a 2. That is incredibly valuable. Goodness forbid, they even employ Shaun Draughn for emergency ball distribution.

D'Ashanti Demonfury - She's the Leader on the defense, featuring Guard. She'll be the one getting her hands dirty by setting up next to the ball. On defense, she'll be joined by Shaun Draughn at the point of impact.

Jamaal Charles and Tony Moeaki - They're the folks that come in to smack opponents in the face. Mighty Blow and Tackle on board make for a difficult situation for opposing ball carriers to deal with. There are those occasions, however, where these two can't free the ball. They still continue to menace the ball, however, as they both employ the Diving Tackle skill.

But wait! Now, let's add a new dynamic to the pot... Strip Ball.

Here comes Doege into the equation. Not only it is easier for him to sneak into tight spaces with +AG, he comes ready to deal with most every ball handler in the AFC West. If for some reason, he's still not able to free the ball from the opponent, he can Side Step, keeping a mark on the player. He may grow to become the 2nd most annoying Vampire on this squad (save Matt Cassel, who is STILL ALIVE... hintedy hint hint).

I won't even delve too far into the possibility of drafting a Thrall for this squad. It is well-documented that Coach Nekran subscribes to the theory that "all Thralls are bite-able". No sense in wasting good draft picks on a guy that is eventual food.

The possibilities that Doege brings to the table are numerous. This could be the best fit for a team that is out there. This really is the best pick that Nekran could have made for his squad.

CHEFCTER: Well folks, we're through the first 12 teams of this year's draft. Don't go running away just yet, as in our next segment, we'll be analyzing a former Super Bowl Champion, as well as another squad from the highly competitive AFC West. You won't wanna miss it!

WIPER JR: That's right, Stabby. Analysis at its finest. But first, here's a word from another one of our business partners. Enjoy...


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Apojar



Joined: Aug 05, 2006

Post   Posted: Jul 14, 2014 - 23:49 Reply with quote Back to top

CHEFCTER: Welcome back, folks to BSDN's coverage of the NBFL Draft Review & Analysis Show. By now, you more than likely remember who we are.

WIPER JR: This is Season XIII, so I should hope by now we've made an impression, Stabby.

CHEFCTER: How right you are, Killy. There are some rabid fans of the NBFL out there, but we're just as fanatical about dissecting the new players coming into the League.

WIPER JR: What do you say we get right back to it then, Stabby?

CHEFCTER: I thought you'd never ask, Kill. This next team was the Season XI Champion. Unfortunately, many injuries kept them from being in competition this year. If you're any kind of fan of the NBFL, you're undoubtedly routing for...


13. PHILHALA

Race: Norsemen
Player Selected: Cucaracha Petterflet (South Florida)
Skills: +AG, Accurate, Strong Arm, Sure Hands - 54 points
Position: Thrower
Grade of Pick: A

CHEFCTER: I'm honored and excited to be the guy to talk about (albeit arguably... other coaches will take offense with that opinion, but too bad!) one of the best coaches in the NBFL. Whatever Coach Relezite is making, I'm sure it's not enough.

There were a lot of holes that needed to be addressed, due to the plethora of injuries over last season. Let's look at the roster to see what we can see:

Snow Troll - This might be the only place where the team is "solid". Thorlakr Thorgeirson is top notch for the position. No need to be looking here.

Ulfwerener - This is a possibility. The two guys on the roster are both fairly young, with only one skill between them. Let's keep this in mind.

Berserker - This is a possibility. There's two out of four currently employed on the squad. They're both fairly decent. It's not the greatest need, but this may be a position to address.

Runner - This is a possibility. They are allowed to employ two, yet currently have only one. He's fairly young, but about to proceed to his next skill. Let's certainly keep this in mind.

Thrower - This is another possibility. Relezite is permitted to employ two, but currently has none. As ball handling is a fairly important part of the game, let's keep this close to the top of the list.

Lineman - I would say no, as the current core seems to be pretty solid. They've trained superstar Chris "Pretty" Harison to do a lot of the ball-handling duties, having lacked a Thrower. He is a dynamite player who changes they way opponents think on their passing, featuring Pass Block in his skill set.

So, let's take how we've broken this down, and generate a list (by position) of where we here at BSDN feel as though the needs for Philhala are greatest.

1. Ulfwerener (the hardest to skill)
2. Thrower OR Runner (either would be from the Skilled section)
3. Berserker (from the Blitzer section)

Ulfwereners come from the Strength section, which is EXTREMELY shallow this draft class. The best player available here is Jevon Kearse out of the University of Florida. He's experienced (Block, Tackle, Mighty Blow), but he doesn't feature anything special or extraordinary. He'd be more than adequate, but not GREAT. Let's look at the next position on the list, a Thrower or Runner.

Sitting in the back room awaiting his calling is Petterflet. He fits what Philhala is looking for PERFECTLY. Not only is he more agile, a HUGE bonus for a ball-handling position for any squad, but his combination of Accurate and Strong Arm permits ball transport to any available location on a 3+. That's pretty darn good for a Norseman squad. Add his Sure Hands to the mix to keep away all those annoying Strip Ball types, and you have a very effective player to hang out in the backfield.

Let's also not forget: Petterflet has an AG5 target to throw to in Chris Harison. Philhala has added a passing attack now that HAS to be respected. This is not only a solid pick, but the right pick to make.

WIPER JR: I think I'm going to agree with you, Stabbem. Normally, I want the harder positional to skill, but the skills that Petterflet offers are THAT much more superior to what Kearse has. Relezite made the right choice on passing on the other positionals to get Petterflet.

We now delve into this year's 14th pick, who happens to be one of my favorite coaches to watch. Rarely do they ever have anyone super seccksi or flashy, but they're always in the fold. Suffice it to say, I'm a closet fan of...


14. OAKLAND

Race: Dark Elf
Player Selected: Kendricks (UCLA)
Skills: Mighty Blow, Guard, Tackle - 43 points
Position: Blitzer
Grade of Pick: A

WIPER JR: With the likes of San Dogo, Denver, and Fangsas City in your grill 6 times a year, it's no wonder that injuries tend to find this squad. Injuries aside, they are somehow in the fold for the division championship every year. That's not really about any kind of superstars that Oakland employs. Their success is all about their top-notch coaching by ex-convict.

Oakland is an original squad. These folks know what it takes to compete in the NBFL. They are looking to come back to their earlier prominence in the AFC West. Let's look at the roster at it sits right now, and come up with an idea of what the needs are:

Blitzer - Oakland has 4 on the roster at the moment. They have one Star, two moderates. One is on the younger side. If there is a very good player out there to be had, Oakland wouldn't be wrong to waive D.J. Hayden.

Runner - Oakland has Justin Zipp on the books. He can distribute the ball anywhere on a 3+, and features the Sure Hands that Strip Ball players detest. A second Runner is nice, but some coaches consider it a luxury. We would put this into a deep "maybe" pile.

Assassin - Oakland doesn't currently employ one. It would certainly be possible to get some use out of one when Fangsas City comes to town, but if ex-convict doesn't use one, we won't impose our will upon him, or penalize him for his choice. It also helps that Assassins fall under the Skilled section, where this draft has tons of ball-handling types available. There are a few available that would fit, but they may not be the best choice ex-convict can make here. We would, in all likelihood, pass on an Assassin here.

BONUS TRIVIA: Can you (without peeking) guess how many Assassins Oakland has employed in their 211 game history?

ANSWER: 1. They had Nick "Not In My" Kasa on their squad for 29 matches before he retired due to a long-standing injury.

Witch Elf - Oakland has one of two, but he's young. It wouldn't be awful to bring Charles Woodson II some help, HOWEVER.... Witch Elves are in the same boat as the Assassins, as in they fall into the Skilled category. Not much there for a player that isn't a true ball-handling type. There's a couple, but nothing extraordinary... We would probably pass.

Lineman - There are good possibilities here. Oakland has a healthy amount of them (8 in all), but 5 of them are rookies. The thee elder statesmen are pretty darn good, but could sure use some help. We'll keep this in mind as a possibility.

Having looked over the list, we're looking for either a very good Blitzer, or a very good to great level Lineman. Let's first look over the Blitzer list.

Oakland could seriously use some Guard. They could also stand to get a bit more removal capability in the form of Mighty Blow. There are two players that fit the bill on both needs left on the board, but ex-convict smartly takes Kendricks, who is further along the SPP path than his counterpart (Franklin).

In fairness, we also look at the list for the Linemen. The best option out there for the multiple needs of Oakland is going to be China Champion out of the University of Washington. By having Wrestle, Tackle, and +AG, Champion could fit Oakland's scheme by harassing anyone and everyone with the ball, fitting into places that many cannot get to. Is it enough to outweigh the benefits of Kendricks? No.

Given the choice of the two players, we here at BSDN agree with ex-convict. The best fit available for Oakland in this draft is Kendricks.

CHEFCTER: Folks, we're through the first 14 teams from this year, but stick around. In the next segment, we feature two AFC teams. The first is an up-and coming Orc team in the highly competitive AFC South. The other is considered to be the physical powerhouse of the AFC East.

WIPER JR: I'm really looking forward to getting into my team next segment, Stabby. They're a dominant bunch.

CHEFCTER: Have to agree, Kill. Who are we talking about? Stick around to find out, but please enjoy a message from another of our business partners.


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Apojar



Joined: Aug 05, 2006

Post   Posted: Jul 15, 2014 - 23:54 Reply with quote Back to top

CHEFCTER: We're back, folks. You're still tuned in (we hope) for the NBFL Draft Review/Analysis Show here on BSDN. Stabbem Chefcter here, sitting alongside former front office man and fellow draft enthusiast Kill Wiper Jr. Two more AFC teams this time around, Kill.

WIPER JR: That's true, Stabby. Let's jump on in to it.

CHEFCTER: That sounds good, Killy. By the way, you see Berry the Flyer yet?

WIPER JR: I was there opening night. A truly inspirational film.

CHEFCTER: Good to hear, my friend. I'm catching it this weekend. Regardless, onward to team number 15. These boys are a constant presence in the AFC South. They haven't arrived YET, but belive me, they're coming.


15. TENNESSEE

Race: Orc
Player Selected: Evans (UCLA)
Skills: +MA, Tackle, Mighty Blow - 40 points
Position: Blitzer
Grade of Pick: B

CHEFCTER: Yes, it's only a B. Please don't misunderstand us. It's the right position: we here at BSDN just felt that there was a better choice out there for Tennessee.

As is standard practice for you, the viewer, let's look at the way the current roster breaks down, and look for where the need is greatest.

Troll - With the presence of Michael von Bargen III, the Big Guy position is more than secure. He's one of the best in the NBFL.

Black Orc Blocker - There's 4 on the roster. The youngest one is Alterraun Verner. He has more than enough to get by and support his team with Block and Guard. This is not a place of need.

Blitzer - Yes. This is a place of need. There are only 3 of the 4 players to fill the position, 2 of which are rookies. There is definitely need at this position.

Thrower - No. With Jake Locker on the squad, this is not an area of need.

Lineman - Yes. This could be a need, but not above a Blitzer. Tennessee currently only has 2 Linemen on the squad. They do, however, employ two Goblins which do provide utility, similar to Ban Francisco. Brett Kern provides great utility as one of the two Linemen, but the other is a rookie. This is an area that could be addressed, but only if a fantastic player sits there.

Goblin - Tennessee already has 2, which have been developed with specific tasks in mind. There won't be anybody available to improve over their current given skills.

So, having identified that it really NEEDS to be a Blitzer, let's take a peek at who is out there in the Blitzer section.

Here is the order in which the gurus at BSDN feel the Blitzer position should have broken down for Tennessee:

3rd choice: Too Dark Jones (Texas S&M) - Dodge, Side Step, Tackle - 42 pts.
2nd choice: Evans (UCLA) - +MA, Tackle, Mighty Blow - 40 pts.
1ST CHOICE: Franklin (UCLA) - Tackle, Guard, Mighty Blow - 36 pts.

Why not the guy with the extra movement?

The reason is already on the squad in the person of Tyler Emischen. She is phenomenally fast. She has Tackle, Mighty Blow, and she even has Shadowing, making her very difficult to break away from. Emischen will be doing almost all the blitzing for the squad, and rightly so. She SHOULD be doing the bulk of it with such a tailored skill set for the job.

Yes, two players that move faster are nice. Evans is a VERY good player. We hope that is not forgotten. For Tennessee's needs, however, we simply felt that a player that could BOTH support and blitz would prove to be more useful right away for the boys in the AFC South. It's a case of "right position, not the best player for the job".

WIPER JR: I'm surprised, Stabby. Knowing you as I do, I would have thought you'd rank Too Dark Jones higher than 3rd.

CHEFCTER: I really wrestled with that one. Those two really could interchange between 2nd and 3rd, but neither would prove to have the utility that Franklin has.

WIPER JR: I can't really dispute that. He's a very solid player, no doubt.

Let's move forward to team number 16. These guys have been alleged to be passing around CED's (Casualty Enhancing Drugs), though the NBFL has yet to turn up anything. These guys can HIT with the likes of the best.


16. MIAMI

Race: Chaos Pact
Player Selected: Rico Murray (Kent State)
Skills: Block, Guard - 25 points
Position: Marauder
Grade of Pick: B+

WIPER JR: You know what I enjoy the most about this season's draft so far? There has been a lot of top marks for teams this year. Teams are really getting the right players they need for their situations. Bullroarer4 is no exception.

There is nothing flashy or sexy about this pick. There's no big enormous upside that is being touted, no extraordinary skills or traits, yet this is a pick that needed to be made. To understand why, let's do our roster delve that we usually do.

Big Guy: No. There's 3 of them already on the squad. All 3 already have Block. All 3 have an MA of 5 (including Michael von Bargen VII, their Chaos Troll). There is no need to be looking here.

Dark Elf Renegade: Not needed. Miami already employs Rick Warburg, who is far above average. No need to be looking here.

Skaven Renegade: NO, not as long as Stockbridge is on this squad. That guy is dreamy. He takes care of nearly all the ball-handling duties.

Goblin Renegade: Not really necessary. They have Hawick! in place, who is above average. For the amount of playing time he sees, it hardly seems worth it to draft a stunty player here.

Marauder: This is really the place to address the team's needs. With 10 of them on the squad, Marauders are the versatility of this Miami team. Having said that, let's look closer at the Marauders already in place.

Miami has two excellent hitters in their ranks in Mitchell Fayed and Darrel Scott. They provide more than adequate extra power in place of "the big 3" up front. They have extra ball-handling in Quentin Barnes. They have
someone to get their boots dirty in Donald Pine. They have a supporter in place in Choto the Bright. For the most part, the other 5 are rookies (they only have one skill among the 5).

A supporting Marauder is what Bullroarer4 goes for here, and rightly so. Maruaders have the advantage of being drawn from the best of both worlds: they qualify as both a Lineman and a Blitzer. That's an enormous bonus for Pact, scouring two sets of draftees for your core players.

Looking over the players still in the back room, Murray really is a good choice. He comes with both Block and Guard. Miami NEEDS Guard to allow the Big 3 and the hitters to do their jobs with the least amount of difficulty.

The only issue here is did Miami draft the correct support Marauder? Maybe.

The other very good option on the board is Black Pete out of Texas S&M. He comes built with Dodge and Guard, but has 30 points. He's only a completion away from picking up Block. Having Blodge and Guard makes it more difficult to get the support off the pitch. In our opinion, this MIGHT be the slightly better choice for a support Marauder, only in the fact that with Dodge, it allows him to (A) live a little longer and (B) have a chance to dodge out of a tackle zone to get in position to lay a Guard.

Given the choice between the two, I would, in all likelihood, draft Black Pete over Murray. Miami is still getting a high-quality player, however. We here at BSDN just felt that the pick might have been slightly better used if Bullroarer4 went with a Dodge/Guard player that was available instead of a Block/Guard, especially since the player is only 1 point away from Block. The difference is minimal, as it's still an excellent supporter, which is why this grade is a B+.

CHEFCTER: Good insight there, Killy. The armchair quarterback may have missed that on the surface, but that's why you and I are here.

WIPER JR: We love what we do, Stabby.

CHEFCTER: We sure do, Kill. Stick around though, fans. In the next segment, we're stopping by to talk about picks 17 and 18, both of which happen to be in the NFC. Don't go away folks. We leave you for a few moments in the hands of one of our corporate sponsors...

WILSON: Hi, I'm Adrian Wilson, former star Storm Vermin for the Arizona Cardinalz.

Since my days are now spent OFF the pitch, watching the NBFL on Cabalvision, I can enjoy the finer things in life.

Good friends, family, and an ice cold Bloodweiser


ANNOUNCER: Bloodweiser: official beer sponsor of the NBFL as well as the NCBB's Gogre Keg Standz, first developed and released from the Mihn'eeSOH'tah Golblen Gogres.

Make Bloodweiser YOUR tradition
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Apojar



Joined: Aug 05, 2006

Post   Posted: Jul 18, 2014 - 05:26 Reply with quote Back to top

CHEFCTER: Welcome back once again, fellow NBFL fans. This is BSDN's coverage of the NBFL Draft Review/Analysis Show. As always, Stabby and Killy bringing this season's draft perspective to you.

WIPER JR: Thank you for tuning in this season. We've done our best to make the program more lively and interesting from years before.

CHEFCTER: True enough, Killy. We've added advertisements from products that sponsor us, as well as testimonials and interviews from people past and present. It's all in an effort to bring you the highest quality experience.

Having said that, let's jump into this season's 17th pick, which went to the slick speedsters from the NFC East.


17. DALLAS

Race: Wood Elf
Player Selected: Antonio Gates (Kent State)
Skills: Nerves of Steel, +ST - 26 points
Position: Catcher
Grade of Pick: C

CHEFCTER: The Dendrophiliacs are situated in a highly-competitive NFC East. It can be debated, but it's possible that the NFC East has the least amount of parity between the coaching staffs. In other words, if one were to say "OTS won the division this year", a normal response would probably be "well, of course he did". The beauty of this division, however, is that you could take out OTS's name, and replace it with any of the other 3 coaches, and you wouldn't think anything of it. It really is a shame that only one of these 4 coaches can win their division each year. Two years ago, the NBFL Champion came out of this division. Last year, the ladies of Flashington won the East. Any 4 of these teams could win the division, and nobody would be surprised, or bat an eye. This coming season? Who knows...

Dallas took a BEATING last season. Their squad, at the end of the season, was down to just 8 players. They need SO much. Let's break the roster down for you.

Wardancer - Yes. Dallas currently has only 1. A glaring need.
Thrower - No. Out of the 8 players that survived, both Throwers came through safely. With Danny White Elm on the squad, the ball gets most anywhere on a 2 (a 3+ on the Bomb).
Catcher - There are 2 of 4 on the squad. They're both pretty decent. It's not the most pressing need, but there's a need nonetheless.
Lineman - There are only 3 left. 2 of the 3 are pretty good, though the 3rd is a rookie. It's a need, but with other positions not full, this is not the first place I would look.
Treeman - Even this is a need. Treemen aid elven squads by taking a lot of the physical abuse off of the other stars. They can simply take the hits that are meant for the rest of the squad. It also helps that he can dole out the punishment as well.

We here at BSDN would strongly consider looking for this order of position:

1. Wardancer
2. Treeman
3. Lineman
4. Catcher
5. Thrower

We'll look at what's available for a Wardancer first, to see if there's a player available that would fit.

In the Blitzer section, there is a BEAUTIFUL player available in the likes of Franklin out of UCLA. His skill set is absolutely fantastic for what Dallas needs, coming with Tackle, Mighty Blow, and Guard. Franklin fits the mold to perfection.

This is the player Dallas needed to draft here. A second Wardancer makes an enormous impact right away. There's no need to wait for him to skill up to respectable levels. He'll also skill very quickly on his own, opening up other pathways for the other teammates to pick up some points on TDs.

The pick was begging to be made, but Dallas missed out on this gem. They'll enter this season with a rookie Treeman, which is understandable. It's going to be an uphill task for the Dendrophiliacs to compete with so many rookies on the squad, one of which being a Wardancer.

We understand that a player with +ST is pretty rare, especially in a Catcher. Gates, however, would be considered a luxury on this Dallas team. They already employ a very similar type of Catcher in Tony Hill.

BSDN gurus put both players through a mathematical formula to determine value and impact of the skills they have, basing it on the position they play. The result was an overwhelming advantage for Franklin, having approximately 2.4 times more impact per game than Gates does.

That, however, is according to the "drafting gurus" here at BSDN, which Killy and I are both members. There are times where it is better to get inside the organization, to hear their take on the situation, and we're privileged to welcome the head coach of the Dendrophiliacs to the program, Coach OTS. Coach, it's Stabbem Chefcter and Kill Wiper Jr, welcome to the show.

OTS: Thanks guys, it's a pleasure to be here on the worldwide leader. The 250K appearance fee was a nice touch as well.

CHEFCTER: First question. We've spent some time talking about the ferocity and lack of coaching parity in the NFC East. The levels of coaching ability are so similar, in that everybody is top-notch. Talk to us about what it's like coaching in a division where all the coaches, yourself included, are of such high caliber.

OTS: There's no easy games, that's for sure. This is the NBFL you have to work hard for every win. We do feel that our Air Raid offense sets us apart and we are tough team to prepare for and defend against. We expect to win and win big this season. It is our birthright after-all.

WIPER JR: OTS, this is Kill Wiper Jr. here. We've been a bit critical of Dallas picking Antonio Gates. Our question is this: why not a Wardancer here? Take us through the process of how you settled on a receiver at this pick.

OTS: Well, first off we don't feel we settled at all, we took the best fit for our team. We're a pass first team, so we can never have enough skill players. But to answer your question, it was a shallow pool of blitzers this year. On our big board we had Evans and Nelly Knockyerblockoff, as potential Dendros but both of those players were gone. Once the pick came to us it was decision time. We already are set for years with franchise QB and league leading passer Danny White, so no reason to look there. So what do you do with a great passer? You give him another toy to play with. Gates fills that roll nicely. He has the ability to fight for position and to get the jump balls in the end zone. We really expect him to pay dividends on those late game fade routes. It also gives us some much needed depth, as Tony is our only veteran receiver left after a tumultuous season. We expect a lot of scores out of that tandem this season.

CHEFCTER: There are many rumors circulating around the inner circles of the NBFL that you've discovered some kind of elixir that allows Wood Elves to increase their strength and agility. Any truth to that, sir?

OTS: The tree of life has a knothole that is just money... if you get my drift.

WIPER JR: Care to offer us a prediction for the upcoming season? How do you see the NFC East shaking down this year?

OTS: That's an easy one. There's the elves, and then there's the rabble. Some of these coaches should make better life choices on the type of players they prefer to associate with. Barbarians and Undead... it's a travesty.

CHEFCTER: Coach OTS, thank you for stopping by this afternoon. Good luck this season. A pleasure to have you join us on the show...

Have to say, Killy. They really sound like they did their homework on this pick.

WIPER JR: I agree. They had a game plan. They executed what they felt was going to best win them games, and that's by scoring boatloads of TDs.

CHEFCTER: Any additional thoughts now that we've heard what their thought process was approaching the pick?

WIPER JR: Dallas is going to be a strong team in the NFC East, and soon. Everyone in the NFC should be put on notice, because they're coming for you...

Well, let's move over to the NFC North to talk about our next team and pick.


18. MINNESOTA

Race: Necromantic
Player Selected: Kevin Carter (Florida)
Skills: Block, Mighty Blow, Grab - 34 points
Position: Flesh Golem
Grade of Pick: A

WIPER JR: Let me start by saying this: This very talented Minnesota team finished above .500 last season (6-3-5 is good for a .520), yet they finished LAST in the division. That should tell you something about the level of competition in the NFC North. The last few years have seen the division dominated by Green Bay. The other 3 teams all had 6 wins each, with the Slann of Wisconsin pumping out a 7th win last season.

Carter is just what Igor ordered for Minnesota. To prove it, let's break down the rosters as we're apt to do, so you can see that a Flesh Golem was the way to go here.

Wight: There are two OUTSTANDING Wights on this squad, in Greg Jennings and Kevin Williams. There is no need to look here.
Ghoul: There are two on the squad, and they're well above average. Both of them feature some extra agility. There really is no call to replace either of them.
Werewolf: This is a distinct possibility. Minnesota only has 1, and he sure is a stud (Adrian Peterson).
Flesh Golem: This would be a good place to look. They are pretty difficult to skill up quickly, and are excellent "cloggers". With Stand Firm, they're very difficult to move around the pitch. Having a skilled-up Flesh Golem is invaluable to a Necromantic squad.
Zombie: There are 5 on the squad, 3 of which are very useful. If there was a Zombie on the board that was in the great-outstanding range, it could be a consideration. It would have to be a top-level player, though, to draft somebody over the needed positionals.

So, looking at our breakdown, it appears that Minnesota needs either a Werewolf or a Flesh Golem. That puts us looking through the Skilled and Blitzer sections for the Werewolf, and the Strength section for the Flesh Golem.

There is a very viable candidate left on the board for a Werewolf in the likes of Franklin out of UCLA still being available. He's got a nice set of skills, with Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard on board. He would be a great choice IF he came with EITHER Block or Dodge already. Lacking both of them makes him a rather "exposed" player, in terms of surviving. He can be sheltered and protected by his teammates on the pitch, but having to spend your 51 and 76 point skill on getting Blodge can really hurt.

So, Franklin is a good choice, but not fantastic. Let's look at the Strength section for a better Flesh Golem.

The section is extremely thin, but there are two VERY good candidates available in the draft pool, both of which graduated from the University of Floirda. Jevon Kearse comes with Block, Tackle, and Mighty Blow. He is a very good candidate, but his classmate will serve a slighty more useful purpose.

Kevin Carter comes on board with both Block and Mighty Blow. The difference comes with the Grab skill. Why, you ask, is it more useful here than Tackle?

Grab allows an offensive player to dictate where he's getting pushed/moved to, rather than giving the opponent the choice. If you think about that, the combination of Grab on the Flesh Golems and Frenzy on the Werewolves can completely take away the sidelines of the pitch. You're almost forcing the opponent to play within the 7 squares in the center of the field, for fear of being surfed to crowd-inflicted casualties. Grab also nullifies the power of Side Step, bringing the block to a slightly more manageable encounter for the offense.

Though both Kearse and Carter are both excellent choices for a Flesh Golem, Minnesota's front office makes the correct choice by selecting Carter. We understand that coach ritzi did not participate in the draft process this off-season, as he was serving a 4-month suspension for biting Apojar in the shoulder during match play last season. He's currently banned from off-season tasks involving the NBFL.

(EDITOR'S NOTE [appearing along the bottom of the Cabalvision screen]: ritzi is NOT banned... he was on vacation, and unavailable at the time his pick came around. League Commissioner Jeffro was made aware of his desires ahead of time, and drafted according to ritzi's wishes. The above story is for fluff purposes only....)

CHEFCTER: Folks, we've examined 18 teams thus far. We have 14 more to go, as well as some Expansion and compensatory picks left. Stick around. We've got interviews! We've got advertisements! Who knows who else may drop by as we continue to look at Season XIII's Draft. Stick around!!!
Apojar



Joined: Aug 05, 2006

Post   Posted: Jul 19, 2014 - 03:50 Reply with quote Back to top

CHEFCTER: Aaaaaaaand we're back. You're watching BSDN's coverage of the NBFL Draft Review & Analysis Show. Stabbem Chefcter here alongside my fellow draft enthusiast Kill Wiper Jr.

WIPER JR: Enthusiast doesn't express how much I love doing this, Stabby.

CHEFCTER: As you can tell, Killy and I enjoy providing you with in-depth analysis and reviews of NBFL draft picks each year. This year is no exception. Let's look at our next two teams from this season's draft.


19. ARIZONA

Race: Skaven
Player Selected: Kawika Ornellas (Hawaii)
Skills: Dodge, Guard - 28 points
Position: Lineman
Grade of Pick: B+

CHEFCTER: The Sinners are a team on the rise. Don't you dare call them "the other Skaven", as they make teams pay with quick scoring, and hard hitting. Just because they finished second to Seattle last season, that doesn't make them any less dangerous. They, like some of the other NFC squads, endured a great deal of player turnover due to constant injury last season, but managed to still turn in a 7-1-6 season (good for a .531%). That's a testament to good coaching by FRSHMN.

The starting roster was down to 9 players as the completion of Season XII. This season, Arizona is reloading, and ready for action.

Let's take a look at where the most important needs are to fill, position by position, and see how their draft pick rates with the gurus at BSDN.

Storm Vermin: We here at BSDN just can't bring ourselves to refer to them as Blitzers. Arizona has two Storm Vermin in place, though one is rather young. Brian Leonard is very good, and their primary source of removal power. Daryl Washington is young, but he is manageable. If there's a good Blitzer player available, it sure is a need to fill.
Gutter Runner: These are the heart and soul of the squad. Arizona is permitted to employ 4, but due to injuries, they only have 3. This is a need, but not as glaring as a 2nd Storm Vermin would be.
Rat Ogre: Arizona currently employs John Abratham. He is experienced, and has enough skill to certainly perform the important tasks that are asked of him. I wouldn't look to upgrade here unless there's a dynamite Big Guy on the board (which there isn't).
Thrower: There isn't a need to change here, as Eli Manning is somehow employed in Arizona instead of on the East Coast (He was selected in an Expansion draft). He's the Leader of the squad.
Linerat: Arizona is down to two. They are both moderately skilled, but with only two, this is an area of need.

So, having gone through the positions, we have possibilities of a Storm Vermin, or a Lineman. Let's dive in to each section.

You folks out there may be tired of hearing about him, but Franklin is still out there to be drafted, still with his Tackle, Guard, and Mighty Blow. He becomes a pretty good fit for the Sinners.

The Lineman category is pretty deep. There's a lot of options there, but with a team with so many needs, there's a lot of possibilities. Here's a few of the skills that Arizona is sorely lacking:

Guard
Dirty Player
Kick
Tackle

A combination of those skills along the way would possibly make for a better choice than a 2nd Storm Vermin. Arizona elects to draft Ornellas, who comes with Dodge and Guard at 28 points. He's a quality player from one of our favorite colleges, but is he really the best player for the Sinners? The BSDN crew doesn't believe he was the BEST pick available. Here's what I mean...

IF you're looking for the player that offers the most impact RIGHT NOW, the choice would, in all likelihood, have to be Franklin. He hits. He can Tackle. He also offers that same Guard that Ornellas has, allowing him to offer support as well.

Look now at the skills that Ornellas is bringing to the table: Guard and Dodge. There's something that he brings to the table that Franklin slightly lacks: potential survivability. He's at 28 points. He needs a TD to hit 31, enabling him to learn a new skill; in all likelihood Block. Blodge can go a long way in aiding a Lineman to survive, as most coaches won't want to commit a Tackler to defend a Lineman; they'd rather commit to defending a more threatening positional. Blodge is his best possibility of staying on the pitch and standing (which is why Wrestle doesn't fit for Ornellas; he needs to be standing to use Guard).

So, it turns out that picking Ornellas might be a solid pick, but there IS a better pick to make here.

Black Pete is still on the board, featuring the exact same skills as Ornellas, but at 30 points instead of 28. He's only a COMP away from his next skill, rather than having to wait for either a TD or a COMP/CAS combination like Ornellas. It doesn't seem like much, but for a support player, they may go a full season without scoring. The closer to the skill level, the better.

The decision to draft a Lineman may have been a good one. We can surely get on board with that. The CHOICE of the particular Lineman, however, may not have been the best, as there was someone available who was a slight improvement points-wise.

BSDN upgraded the pick to a B+, due to Ornella's alma mater...

WIPER JR: It's no surprise that we're life-long devotees to the Univercity of Hawaii, as it's both of our alma maters, but enough of the past for now. Let's talk about the future for the 20th pick in this season's NBFL draft.


20. CHICAGO

Race: Necromantic
Player Selected: Franklin (UCLA)
Skills: Mighty Blow, Guard, Tackle - 36 points
Position: Wight
Grade of Pick: A+

WIPER JR: By now, all of you have heard us wax ad nausem about Franklin, so you all know what we think of him.

This guy is a STEAL at 20.

This is a well-developed squad with not a tremendous amount of holes to fill. Let's break down what's in place, and what is needed.

Werewolf: No. There are two very good ones already on the squad. This is not an area that needs to be addressed.
Wight: Maybe. Major Wright is a very versatile player, but their other is very young. This could be an area to look to improve in.
Flesh Golem: No. This is currently the strength of the squad. Two VERY good players here in Henry Meltdown and Dan Ryan.
Ghoul: There's two pretty good ones on the squad, both of which are stat freaks. There's no need to search for a replacement.
Zombie: There are 7 on the squad, 4 of which are rookies. The other 3 are VERY good as Linemen go. If there was a very good player available, this could be a consideration.

So, the two places to look are either a Wight or a Lineman. Suffice it to say, Franklin is far and away the best choice here. The only thing the squad is lacking at this point is a Kicker. This pick gets an A for being the best option to choose, but upgrades to the A+ for being an absolute STEAL of a pick this late in the draft.

Be prepared to be seeing the Wares in the race for the Playoffs this season. If they can stay somewhat free of injury, you may be seeing them for a long time to come.

CHEFCTER: Folks, we're through the first 20 picks. We've got quite a few to go, so don't you go anywhere! We'll be right back after a commercial announcement from one of our business partners.




ORNELLAS: Yo. "Surf's Up" Ornellas here, newest member of the Arizona Sinners.

One of the reasons I was so excited to sign with the Sinners?

The morning Dew.... Warpstone Dew.

Image

Warpstone 'til you're prone!
Official sponsor of the Arizona Sinners.
Apojar



Joined: Aug 05, 2006

Post   Posted: Aug 06, 2014 - 23:49 Reply with quote Back to top

CHEFCTER: Folks, welcome back. We're thrilled to bring you the second half of our NBFL Draft Analysis & Review Show. I'm Stabbem Chefcter sitting along side long-time draft fanatic, Mr. Kill Wiper Jr.

WIPER JR: Glad to be here with you, my friend. We have my favorite team in this segment, as you know.

CHECFTER: For those of you that don't know, Kill Wiper was a front office executive many moons ago for our 2nd team in this segment, a team which he holds in high regard. We'll soon see what he has to say about them. The rest of the NBFL, however, is starting to hear from a very well-developed Nurgle squad from the NFC North.


21. DETROILET

Race: Nurgle
Player Selected: Too Dark Jones (Texas S&M)
Skills: Dodge, Side Step, Tackle - 42 points
Position: Pestigor
Grade of Pick: A

CHECFTER: The level of skill in the NFC North is staggering; all these teams are so very competitive. Any of the four teams in this division could easily be the next champ.

These gentlemen are loaded to the gills with personel. All 16 available slots are taken, so let's look at how they break down, in an order to determine what position should be drafted.

Beast of Nurgle: Detroilet has one of theNCBB's all-time great Big Guys in Ollie Bakken out of Mihn'eeSOHTah. He's proven to be very durable in his career. There's absolutely no reason to replace him.
Nurgle Warrior: Detroilet might have the 2nd best front line in the NBFL (only Atlat'l has a beefier front line). 3 out of 4 of them have Blodge. They're very difficult to deal with effectively. I would not be looking for a replacement here.
Pestigor: 3 of the 4 on the squad are very good defensive players. The 4th is very young in his career. If there's someone good out there, this could be a possibility. We'll put this into the "maybe" pile.
Rotter: There are 7 on the squad, but a whopping 6 of them are rookies. The 7th is almost at his 2nd skill. This should be a place to possibly upgrade.

So, we've identified that we are in need of a Rotter as well as a 4th Pestigor, so let's look at what's available..

Looking through the Linemen that are available, we come across a number of candidates, but there's still that lingering problem that Rotters suffer from.... DECAY.

If there was an outstanding, or even a very good Rotter available, Detroilet would have to consider drafting one. When you look at the list of who is available, there's really only 2 candidates that would be a "very good" fit.

Stone Casey (Connecticut) - Dirty Player, Kick - 16 pts.
Black Pete (Texas S&M) - Dodge, Guard - 30 pts.

They would be "nice". They'd admirably serve their purpose on the squad, but they aren't really anything that knocks your socks off. Add Decay to the mix of traits, and it leads coaches to really have to think hard on drafting a Rotter. Let's now take a look at what is available in our other possibility, the Pestigor.

Pestigors have an advantage in the draft; they can be drawn out of both the Skilled AND Blitzer categories, allowing them to fill a wide variety of possibilities. Detroilet currently has 3 skilled Pestigors employed; 2 of which already have Dodge and Side Step. The Sewer Lions don't use their Pestigors for removal; they employ a harassment-style defensive strategy. They seem to keep their opponents in front of them whenever possible. Seeing as how Detroilet has set this as a pattern in the position, let's see what's there.

There's two possibilities here for a harassing type of player. In the Skilled section sits Nick Saban from Kent State, with Block, Side Step, and Fend and 36 points. Also there is Too Dark Jones from Texas S&M with Dodge, Side Step, and Tackle at 42 points.

Both athletes have their merits, but Detroilet selects Jones, which is the better of the two choices. He fits the pre-established defensive scheme/pattern that coach Lorebass employs. He also comes with Tackle, making him slightly more aggressive. He's only 9 points away from picking up Block. On top of that, he comes with Regeneration, making him that much more reliable than drafting a very good Rotter.

Detroilet gets shafted slightly in this draft. By the time the draft makes its way to them, there isn't a GREAT pick left for them to take. By that, we mean someone that stands out and says "I'm here to fill this particular need". It's a nice problem to have, however, as this is because they finished as well as they did last season. The Sewer Lions are building very nicely. Expect to see them in the playoffs this coming season.

I don't know they have everything they need to overtake Green Ball, but a Wild Card birth is certainly possible.

WIPER JR: There is a lot of talent sandwiched into 4 unfortunate teams in the NFC North. I say unfortunate" because I'd really like to see all these guys slug it out in the playoffs, but alas, only a possible 3 could make it in any given season.

Now, we've come to a team that is near to my heart. Years ago, I had the privilege of working in their front office, but was forced out due to some health concerns. I've never had anything but love for the boys from....


22. DENVER

Race: Undead
Player Selected: Black Pete (Texas S&M)
Skills: Dodge, Guard - 30 points
Position: Zombie
Grade of Pick: A

WIPER JR: Ok, before everybody goes nuts for giving this pick an A, thinking it's because I used to work for Denver... Yes, I know that they need a Mummy. There is NO Mummy available in this year's draft. Let's walk through the process of how "The Club" came to pick their man. As usual, we'll go position by position to see who (er.... what) they should have chosen.

Mummy: Yes, they need one, but there is only one player in the Big Guy section. No offense to Toe Knee Duhn Gee, but he just doesn't fit the grand scheme that Denver has in mind.
Wight: Definitely not. The two players on the squad are top-notch, in Dead Jay Williams and Viktor Clore.
Ghoul: Denver has 3 good ones already on the roster. Do they NEED a 4th? It would be nice, but that would really be a luxury. I would put this towards the bottom of the pile in terms of need.
Zombie/Skeleton: The squad already employs 6 Zombies, as well as a very solid Navy University Skeleton graduate in Ethan Gouge. Only two of the Zombies have any skill to them. This is certainly a place to look for some support assistance.

So, as we look at our possibilities, we have assessed that we need (in this order):

1. support Zombie or Skeleton.
2. perhaps a 4th Ghoul.
3. a skilled 2nd Mummy, but this really isn't available in this draft.

Having a younger Mummy as well a blitz-heavy Wight on the squad has left Denver slightly short on Guard. The "Under Milers" are also lacking a Kicker. Either skill would be of great benefit to the team's support.

We look through the list of available Lineman. We have 3 very good candidates awaiting the call:

1. Black Pete: He comes with Dodge and Guard, and currently sits at 30 points. If Denver is looking for a true, support-style player, this is the pick to make. Dodge gives him the ability to stay on his feet slightly longer, making his Guard that much more useful. He also has immediate flexibility, being only 1 point away from his next skill. If robocoyote finds that he's in dire need of a Kicker, he can train his new recruit quickly. He can offer him anything from Kick, to Block, Fend, or even fit the pattern of younger Zombies before him, and take Dirty Player. We here at BSDN would HIGHLY discourage having a Guard Zombie that also has Dirty Player. Why, you ask?

Coaches will be a lot less likely to foul with a player that has Guard, for fear that he'll get tossed from the match. They'd rather foul with a rookie, if another Dirty Player isn't available. Guard is a commodity on Linemen: it's only available on a double. Why would a coach want to risk losing such a valuable skill to the Referee? In effect, it's a waste of one of those skills on a player: you waste his Guard if he gets ejected, or waste his Dirty Player by not wanting to foul with him.

2. Taurean Ferguson from Vampirebilt. He comes with Guard, Kick and 16 points. It may not seem glamorous, but Kick is such an underrated skill. A coach can brutally punish a slow-moving team by placing a dart into a deep corner to chase, making it that much more difficult to shimmy down the pitch to score. Add Guard to the mix, and you have the makings of a VERY good support player.

3. Stone Casey from Connecticut. He comes with Dirty Player, Kick and 16 points. I'll refer you to our previous draftee for how we feel about the Kick skill. He also comes with Dirty Player, which fits an existing pattern of how Denver trains its Linemen. It fits a previously established pattern, so we list him as a viable option. We don't feel, however, he would be the BEST choice, which is what we're all about.

In the end, we here at BSDN feel that Black Pete was, in all likelihood, the best choice to make here. His survivability (Dodge) is heightened, which aids in his ability to keep his Guard on the pitch. This skill set also matches another support player on the squad, Tim Tebow's Career. The duo should provide an excellent set of support bookends for the team's stars to operate.

CHEFCTER: That is some quality insight, Kill. Showing off your ability to identify strengths and weaknesses of personnel. There really wasn't a really "sexy" pick to be made here for The Club, was there?

WIPER JR: Sexy like flashy and shiny, or sexy like "come upstairs after dinner and a movie"?

CHEFCTER: Whoa, Killy. We gotta keep this younger-viewer-friendly. I'll just move this conversation forward....

WIPER JR: Next thing you know, you're up in her bedroom...

CHEFCTER: ANYWAY, stay tuned fans. Coming up in our next segment: we look at the first of last season's Divisional Champions, as well as a now-perennial Playoff team out of the NFC. We'll have some more interviews and sponsorships to offer you as we go.

WIPER JR: But stay tuned folks, we're almost to the Super Bowl Champions of last season! We'll also delve into the Compensatory Picks that arise, so you won't want to miss what we have in store! Hang in there!
The_Provocateur



Joined: Sep 29, 2009

Post   Posted: Aug 10, 2014 - 23:33 Reply with quote Back to top

The Manager looked over his Season XIII roster and realized his bender was a costly err. One thrall named "Bull Darkson" exemplified his horrible mistake. He was an agile draftee, no doubt, dodging and leaping like an elf; however, he would also be paid more than one of his higher ups and that would just not stand. In order to avoid being his draftee's inevitable replacement he had to take action, of a sinister nature.


Being Darkson's contract was already signed in blood: dried, tried and true, he could not just release him as per the 'Vampiris Thrallis Lustus' contracting clause. So, instead of straight up firing him, he had to get him killed. Then his contract funds would be restored to the NYGL treasury (as all thrall wills are made out to their master's company) the manager wouldn't become a new thrall and everyone lives happily ever after (besides Darkson). And thus Slightly Modified Thrall Try Outs began.


"!NYGL Public Newflash!" Promising draftee Bull Darkson died in a freak 'Banana Peel Slipping into Spike Pit Filled with Acid' accident. It was a promising preseason training skirmish when the unthinkable happened. Bull was running in for a touch down when another thrall pushed him into the sideline where Darkson was met with a Banana Peel leading to cartoon sliding noises. After this comical note Bull slipped into a punji pit filled with flesh rending acid and was no more. Team Manager and Coach The_Provocateur was asked for comment. "RIP Bull Darkson, it looks like the Field Caretakers finally got you, they always kill promising stars."
Lorebass



Joined: Jun 25, 2010

Post   Posted: Aug 11, 2014 - 00:50
FUMBBL Staff
Reply with quote Back to top

Now that has to be the best way to die-out-of-season though.
DrPoods



Joined: Nov 14, 2013

Post   Posted: Aug 11, 2014 - 01:06 Reply with quote Back to top

An update coming? Very Happy

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Do your part! Join the Adoption Agency NOW!
Apojar



Joined: Aug 05, 2006

Post   Posted: Aug 12, 2014 - 03:45 Reply with quote Back to top

CHEFCTER: Folks, we're back, and getting closer to last year's Champions. You're watching BSDN's coverage of the NBFL Draft Analysis & Review Show. By now, you'll remember that he's Kill Wiper Jr, and I'm Stabbem Chefcter.

WIPER JR: We're not that hard to rememeber, as we've been bringing this show to you since 1947.

CHEFCTER: That's about right, Killy, give or take a few years.... We promised you a division Champion in this segment, and we will not disappoint you. Let's take a peek at the first of Season XII's Playoff teams, since Houston has sold its franchise rights...

23. CINCINNATI

Race: Nurgle
Player Selected: Trace Armstrong (Florida)
Skills: Block, Mighty Blow, Piling On - 31 points
Position: Nurgle Warrior
Grade of Pick: B

CHEFCTER: First things first, congratulations to the Bludgeoners and Coach Sutherlands for winning the AFC North last season.

Though they were bested in the opening round of the Playoffs by perennial powerhouse Houston, Cincinnati had a very positive season for their team, as well as their fans. It had been a while since they had any reason to cheer out there. The Bludgeoners have developed very nicely over the year, and are poised to be strong for the foreseeable future.

As is our usual custom now, let us dissect the roster spots to see where the areas of need are:

Beast of Nurgle: With Robert Geathers on the squad, there's no need to be looking for a Big Guy.
Nurgle Warrior: There are 4 on the squad, but one is a rookie. 2 of them are still fairly young. The 4th is excellent, in the person of Kyle Cook. This is a possible area of need, based on the vital roles that Nurgle Warriors play.
Pestigor: There's only two on the squad. This is an area of need.
Rotter: I wouldn't look here. The 5 that are currently employed are nicely developed.

So, we've come up with needing a Pestigor and a Nurgle Warrior. Let's see what we have.

Looking through both Blitzer and Skilled sections, there is very little to choose from that remains. The player needs to be more of an offensive, or even supporting style of Pestigor, rather than a ball-handler. There's just nothing available that is worthy of using a pick here.

Looking through the Strength section instead for a Nurgle Warrior, we have two viable candidates. Cincinnati settles on Armstrong, presumably for his ability to Pile On. They're looking to capitalize on removal, easing the way for the other skill players to glide down the pitch for touchdowns.

We here at BSDN feel like there was a better choice available. Upon looking at the current roster, one thing the Bludgeoners lack is Tackle. Removal is nice. Believe me, there's nothing that's more appealing than hearing that bone breaking sound as your opponent falls to the ground in pain.

The more important thing, however, is being able to bring him down. Dodge is somewhat prominent in the AFC North, ESPECIALLY on the boys from Pittsburgh. For many seasons, they had a pair of Bull Centaurs with Blodge that would rape the faces of unwilling opponents in the AFC. One of them, ol' Big Ben, is still active. He's also joined by a number of Hobgoblins that Dodge.

That doesn't even take into account that the new franchise beginning in Cleveland are experts at agility. To be able to Pile On them, you need to make sure you can first bring them to the ground. It is, therefore, BSDN's opinion, that the better choice to make may have been Jevon Kearse, also out of Florida. He comes equipped with Block, Mighty Blow and Tackle with his 34 points.

Having Tackle will allow him to capitalize on bring down those pesky Blodgers. As they fall to the ground, Kearse smacks them in the face with his Mighty Blow. Seeing it this way, it would appear that Tackle would allow him to drive up to 51 points faster than having only Mighty Blow and Piling On.

Cincinnati gets a good player in Armstrong, but might have missed the boat on addressing a need in Kearse. The Bludgeoners, in our opinion, chose the right position to draft, but didn't chose the best player for their team's needs.

WIPER JR: Stabby, you get better and better at this as the years go along. Great observation.

Our next squad is a relative newcomer to the Playoffs, qualifying this season for the first time in the current franchise's history. They entered the NFC Playoff bracket as a Wild Card team, but were eliminated in the first round. These guys are up and coming in the NFC East.


24. NEW YORK

Race: Vampire
Player Selected: Bull Darkson (Texas S&M)
Skills: +AG, Dodge, Leap - 42 points
Position: Thrall
Grade of Pick: B-

WIPER JR: Congratulations to the Leeches on a very successful season. At least New York had SOMEBODY to cheer for last season, as the New York Jetz were just plain miserable; so bad that they sold the franchise and left town in shame. Here's hoping for much continued success for the Leeches.

There's not much in the way of positions on a Vampire squad. You just get Vampires and Thralls, or as we sometimes refer to them, "snacks".

These Vampires are VERY good. They're lead by scoring maching Anguan Gobldin, who handles the distribution of the ball. All 5 of the Vampire core have a total of 68 touchdowns in just 99 games played, showing that these guys do it all.

The Thralls, however, are 8 in number, and total just 61 games between them. This illustrates the common theory among coaches that "Every thrall is bitable". Thus far, it appears that Coach The_Provocateur also subscribes to this long-standing theory.

Why a Thrall then? If they're all snacks, why invest a draft pick in them? It could be due to a lack of a suitable Vampire available in the draft.

Looking over the 3 categories that Vampires are eligible in, there IS a pretty decent choice available in the person of Jevon Kearse out of Florida. He comes with Block, Tackle, and Mighty Blow, with 34 points. He could certainly add some extra beef to the core, as they've only caused 46 casualties in 99 games.

Let's also look at what is available in the Lineman section:

There isn't anyone there that is super "shiny", but if you coach Vampires, that shouldn't matter to you. New York takes the cream of the group in Darkson, who comes with Dodge, Leap, and +AG at 42 points.

This is a very good player, especially for a Lineman; even more so that he's a Thrall. The question burns to be answered: does this change the biting rule for the Leeches?

To answer that, we'd like to welcome to the program Coach The_Provocateur of the New York Giant Leeches. Coach, welcome to the show. Glad to have you.

PROVOCATEUR: Thank you Wiper Jr. and Chefcter, sorry for delay.

WIPER JR: We'd first like to ask: IS every Thrall bitable, especially now that you've drafted an excellent player in Darkson?

PROVOCATEUR: Yes, every Thrall is bitable, however Darkson, his contract, and his person has been terminated.

WIPER JR: Tell us how you and the front office came to decide on Darkson, and not perhaps another Vampire?

PROVOCATEUR: Darkson was an agile recruit who could handle balls with the grace of an elf. And 6 Vampires is just asking for locker room problems.

CHEFCTER: Coach, Stabbem Chefcter here. Can you tell us how you'd like to see the core of Thralls develop? Without giving too much away, what direction would you like to see them take?

PROVOCATEUR: Developed Thralls? That's absurd and there are none currently employed.

WIPER JR: Coach, what do you think needs to happen to keep you in the Playoff picture this year?

PROVOCATEUR: I think our 5 core needs to keep developing and we need to score more touchdowns than the opposing teams of course!

CHEFCTER: Care to offer us a prediction for the upcoming season, sir?

PROVOCATEUR: In our division I predict a resurgence of Philhala, a budding rivalry between us and the Redheads and Dallas looking to punch back this season. I haven't looked at the other divisions enough to make predictions at this point.

WIPER JR: Coach, thanks for taking the time to talk with us today. Congrats on the playoff birth, and best of luck going forward.

CHEFCTER: There you have it, folks. We even break news on this show. It is revealed to us that after being selected this season, New York Giant Leeches draft pick Bull Darkson has been cut! You heard it here officially first!

Stick around, NBFL fans. In our next segment, we have two more NFC powerhouses to look at. Don't change that channel, folks. We'll be right back after a quick announcement from one of our sponsors...





BUTLER: Hi. I'm Victor Butler of the Dallas Dendrophiliacs.

On the pitch, I like to send people to the Coroner...

Off the pitch, I go there myself....

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