Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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 Posted:
Jul 18, 2015 - 16:32 |
 
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CHEFCTER: Good afternoon, NBFL fans!!! We're back again to bring you another show of excitement and hope for a new class of draftees. Welcome to the Season 15 edition of the NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. As is custom, I am your host and fellow NBFL enthusiast, Mr. Stabbem Chefcter. Sitting alongside me is a former GM in the NBFL and esteemed senior member of the BSDN Analysis Staff, the popular Mr. Kill Wiper Jr. How's it been, Killy?
WIPER JR: It's been a long and arduous off-season, Stabby. I'm thrilled to be back in the chair doing what we love to do. What did you do with your off-season, Stabby?
CHEFCTER: I got to take in some hot NCBB action, as well as get away with the family. How about you, Killy?
WIPER JR: I was on a book tour for a good portion of the off-season. Spent some extra time at nights in the bar crying into a glass of Jorc Spaniels because the head coach of the Carolina Black Panther Party said so many mean things about me. That guy even tried to come after my family when his team was eliminated. He thought I had something to do with it.
CHEFCTER: That seems excessively harsh, Killy. Everything ok?
WIPER JR: So far, so good. It's a shame, too. I really like the team they have there, but he just detests me due to his... issues.
CHEFCTER: Sorry to hear that, Killy. Let's get back to some happier times!
WIPER JR: Right you are, Stabby. By now, you all now how this works. We're going to analyze each and every draft pick that is made, from the number 1 pick all the way through any compensatory selections that come out. We'll be talking about the player, how he fits into the scheme that the current coach uses, and assign them a letter grade. The grades are discussed in private by a panel of distinguished NBFL enthusiasts, and then published on our show for you all to see.
CHEFCTER: We've been doing this for quite some time now, yet we're always trying to improve the quality and content of our show. Don't be afraid to chime in and tell us what you like (and, of course, you're more than welcome to tell us what you DON'T like, as long as it's not things like “please fire Kill Wiper or please fire Stabbem Chefcter”).
WIPER JR: We'll be featuring some guest Coach interviews, some advertisements, and try to bring a few different aspects into our show. We really hope you enjoy it.
CHEFCTER: Without further ado, I always lead off by discussing the first overall pick in the NBFL draft. This season, the pick belongs to a bunch of shorter individuals who play in a very Windy City.
1. CHICAGO
Race: Dwarf
Player Selected: Darkvantre Harris (Texas S&M)
Skillset: Dodge, +ST, +MA, Side Step (51 pts)
Position: Blocker
Grade of Pick: A
NOTE:: This player also came with Tackle out of college, and 76 pts.
CHEFCTER: These boys had a very tough go at it last season. People seem to think that Dwarves have it easier, being so strong in stature. That was proven not to be the case, as these guys took a beating last season. With the likes of the long-storied franchises that are found in the NFC North, this shouldn't come as news to anyone.
Despite their problems they've been experiencing, this team is in excellent shape. Let's look at the breakdown of the roster to see where the needs are.
RUNNER: Nope. Not needed here. The two on this squad are top-notch, in the persons of Gokibuir Amichia and Michael Ford. They perform their tasks more than adequately. No need to look for a replacement.
BLITZER: Not needed. With Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall on the squad, there's no needed to look to replace either one.
TROLL SLAYER: Yes. This is an area of need. They are permitted to have 2, which they do. Martellus Bennett is a very good, up and coming young player. Their second player, however, is Chris Conte III. He is a recent signee, hoping to get the chance to make it in the NBFL. This is a possibility of improvement.
LONGBEARD: Sure. There is almost always room for improvement in a team's core position. It's rarely a sexy pick, but more often than not, it's the right pick.
DEATHROLLER: No. There's already an excellent candidate on the squad here, in the person of The Sodfather.
So, through the roster, it seems that the squad is looking for a Troll Slayer first and foremost. If that's not available, it's best to search for a Longbeard.
To our surprise, this is the second year in a row with an extremely limited Strength draft. A quick glance through shows that there really isn't anyone waiting in the Draft Room that fits the needs of the position for the Bear-ds.
So, we next seek out a Longbeard, which can qualify in the Lineman or Blitzer category.
A few excellent candidates leap to the top for Chicago here. They ultimately settle on Darkvantre Harris, who is quite the stat-monger. He also begins on the line with both Dodge and Side Step. For a Longbeard, this is a VERY difficult player to deal with or account for.
He's good, but here's why he's even better now. If we look in to the core of players Harris will be fitting into, 3 out of the 6 already have Dodge on
board. Now add Harris to the equation. These guys are now telling the rest of the division “don't come after me unless you have Tackle. This really is a solid pick for bolstering an already-developed Chicago squad.
WIPER JR: Ladies and gentlemen, our next squad held the 2nd pick in this season's NBFL Draft. They're only one season into their existence thus far, but they've already managed to catch some people's attention.
2. WASHINGTON
Race: Elf
Player Selected: Wilma Wildpuss (Arizona)
Skillset: Mighty Blow, Jump Up, Piling On, +ST – 60 pts.
Position: Blitzer
Grade of Pick: A+
WIPER JR: Not too much went all that well last season for these boys. There were only a few bright spots, one of which being Marshawn Lynch II. There was also some inspired play from the core in the likes of London Fletcher and Luke Choke-hold. The players on the current roster have scored a total of 30 touchdowns, with these two Linemen scoring just under half of that total (Fletcher and Choke-hold have scored 13 between them. The balance of the squad has 17).
The team does need some help, however. Let's look at their roster, and see where they need it the most.
BLITZER: Yes. Poor Mr. Lynch II desperately needs some assistance dealing with the opponent's defenses.
CATCHER: Possibly, but.... it's not the first need that needs to be addressed. There are currently 3 on the roster, which are starting to come into their own. I wouldn't necessarily look here first unless there was a bona-fide superstar out there to draft.
THROWER: Possibly. Washington currently employs Jeff George, but he's still rather young. If there was a serious upgrade out there to draft, we'd certainly have to consider it.
LINEMAN: Sure. Always room to improve the core players, allowing your specialists to do what they have to. This is an area to improve.
So, looking at what we've assessed, we've decided that we need to draft, in preference order, a Blitzer, a Lineman, and then a Thrower or a Catcher.
We first begin in the Blitzer section of the draft, and find some dreamy players to address exactly what Washington is looking for. They select an absolute bruiser of a player in the likes of Wildpuss. She was one of the more heralded players coming out in this
season's draft. She will fit in perfectly for what is needed in the NFC East; a bit of beef and respect to protect the agily bodies running through the defensive lines. There's just no need to look through the other positions, as we've found one here that fits the most important bill.
CHEFCTER: We here at BSDN are always trying to improve our show wherever and whenever possible. One of our complaints was that, though the segments were good, there were just too many commercials. Well fans, we've heard your pleas. Thanks to a generous sponsership from Warpstone Dew, we'll be tackling more teams each segment! That always promotes binge watching, as well as keeps your interest that much longer! Our next squad was an absolute mess last season. From their front office right down to their head coach, they were an exercise in futility from top to bottom.
3. JACKSONVILLE
Race: Chaos Pact
Player Selected: Charles Folger (Tennessee)
Skillset: Tackle, Mighty Blow, Piling On - 33 pts.
Position: Marauder
Grade of Pick: C+
CHEFCTER: This squad had a dismal first season of play. Their head coach Apojar has been a member of the league since the very beginning, with the exception of Season 13. His track record hasn't been the greatest, and last season was certainly no exception. His new squad found itself attempting to compete in the utter bashfest that is the AFC South.
It was an awful season, to say the least, for the Pactuars. Were there any bright spots? There sure were. First and foremost was Tim Fugger, the star Chaos Ogre. He posted nearly 2 points per match last season. Beyond that, the team's very first pick, Foster was rather slow to get going. Toward the end of the season, he finally found a groove.
Having posted only 1 win last season (and another with a forfeit W), the team failed to gel. They never developed any identity. It is our hope at BSDN that they can begin to flesh out their way with this season's draft pick.
Let's see where they are in the most need, based on their current roster.
BIG GUY: Not really, no. We've already waxed poetic on Tim Fugger's output, but there's still quite an effective roadblock in the middle in Chris Killer, the squad's Chaos Troll. They are both the future of this squad. Though he's not fully developed as of yet, Ziggy Hood is an up-and-coming Minotaur, adding a bit more beef to the front lines.
DARK ELF: No. Last year, they drafted Metzli, a rather capable individual who is their “jack of all trades” type of player. He has been the de-facto “ball dispenser” for the squad, as they await someone to develop.
SKAVEN RENEGADE: Yes. Their current player, Toby Gerhart, has seriously under-performed thus far, having been shut out of points all season. An upgrade here sure
wouldn't hurt.
GOBLIN RENEGADE: Not really, no. Blake Bortles is currently on the squad, but doesn't see much playing time. He's more for the special TTM play that is in their arsenal. It also doesn't make a terrible amount of sense to draft a Goblin that high.
MARAUDER: Yes. Very much so. This team needs help in the worst way. They need support, removal, ball control, etc. The best place to look for it is here.
It now seems that we know what we need, but let us see what's available.
Marauders qualify as both Linemen as well as Blitzers. We search the latter first, as the availability is always more diverse.
The Pactuars go rifling through the players available, and settle on a young hitter out of the University of Tennessee in Charles Folger.
We here at BSDN don't necessarily agree with this pick. We felt that, with more time in, Foster will have the opportunity to develop into the hitter that they are seeking. Along with the front line heavies, it would appear that a better choice may have been a supporting cast player that has Guard. We do acknowledge, of course, that more than one hitter on the squad isn't a bad thing. It just seems to us, however, that the Big Guys can handle the job up front with Foster's help for removal.
The problem is: there isn't really a dynamic player there to pick.. in either category. A simple Block/Guard player really doesn't fit enough of the needs of this squad, and that's all that is available.
There ARE other options, however, aside from removal and support. As we peek at the Skilled section, there is a BEAUTIFUL ball-handler available in the likes of David Chow. For a Chaos Pact squad, he'd be a wonderful carrier, provided he could be protected as he ran down the field. We here at BSDN felt that this would have been the way to go; drafting a Skaven Renegade to handle any and all ball duties.
The Pactuars draft Folger, and add to their attempts at removal. It's just not the way we at BSDN would have gone.
WIPER JR: Well folks, you know how we like to operate. Whenever we want to delve further into the story behind a draft pick, we try to go straight to the source. Please welcome the head coach of the Jacksonville franchise, coach Apojar. How's it going, Coach?
APOJAR: Nice to be back, Kill.
WIPER JR: Coach, talk to us about your pick. What is it that you were searching for here?
APOJAR: We were looking for someone to be a bit more forceful. We've seen the success of such teams as Miami, the older teams from Cleveland, the older Billy Goats, and of course, those mean-spirited bashers in New Angryland. We're hoping to develop a formidable front line to compete with some of the bigger boys on the block, but it's been slow-going so far.
WIPER JR: I'll say. Seems like you're the first interview we do on this thing every year.
APOJAR: Go F{CENSORED}k yourself, Kill. (Apojar walks out of the studio).
WIPER JR: Whoa.
CHEFCTER: Seems as though you hit a nerve there, Killy.
WIPER JR: Guess he can't take a joke...
CHEFCTER: That's putting it mildly, Killy.
WIPER JR: Moving on. Our next squad had quite a rough time of it in last year's NFC South.
4. TAMPA BAY
Race: Amazon
Player Selected: Xzavier Dickson (Alabama)
Skillset: Mighty Blow, Piling On, +AG. Tackle, +AG – 91 pts.
Position: Blitzer
Grade of Pick: A+
WIPER JR: I don't think there's really much in the way of a discussion to be had here. It's not hard to see why Dickson should be considered the best player that was available in the Main Draft, with the exception of maybe Wilma Wildpuss.
She really has it all going for her. She's joining a squad that's going to need her services more than ever. It's rather beneficial to have an agile Blitzer for hitting, as well as running away. Dickson is going to get into places that even some Elves can't safely get to. She's going to really strengthen up the defensive side of the formation. All this doesn't even take into account that she can make some pretty remarkable catches in a pinch.
It works out rather favorably that there was a rookie position available in the team's Blitzer core, but she's the type of player you just have to MAKE room for. Players like this are not terribly common to come out of the NCBB (ironic because this season, there's 2 dual-agility freaks...), so it's a wonder that she fell to 4.
This pick is absolutely the best player available at the right position. Great choice.
CHEFCTER: Folks, stick around, as we're only just beginning our fun this season. In our next segment, we delve into a few of the new squads on the block, as well as another of the teams from the extremely top-heavy AFC South. You won't want to miss what we have in store for you! Stick around, we'll be back with the second segment after a small commercial break.
HADL: Hi, I'm Karst Hadl, senior player on the San Dogo Chompers. We enjoy our kibble, but what drink do we lap up with our food?
HADL: We do the Dew... Do you? |
Last edited by Apojar on %b %02, %2015 - %18:%Aug; edited 1 time in total |
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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| Posted:
Jul 21, 2015 - 01:35 |
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CHEFCTER: And, we're back, fellow NBFL fans. Welcome back to our next segment of the Season 15 NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. By now, you all remember that I'm Stabbem Chefcter, alongside fellow NBFL enthusiast and current holder of the world record for solving a Rubix Cube with his feet, Mr. Kill Wiper Jr. How's it going, Killy?
WIPER JR: Just fine, Stabby. I'm ready to break down some more draft picks.
CHEFCTER: As am I, my friend. So, without further prattling on, let's get back to it! Our 5th squad is a team that is just beginning. The owners of the franchise are the same, but the players will be drastically different.
5. BUFFALO (no link provided, as team not created as of yet)
Race: Chaos
Player Selected: David Chow (Missouri)
Skillset: Block, Dodge, +AG, +AG – 71 points
Position: Beastman
Grade of Pick: A+
CHEFCTER: This pick has the potential to be the Coroner Beer Steal Of The Draft. Somehow, by some mystery of forutne, the player that was widely viewed as the best player in the draft made it down to 5.
The ownership, having had some hard luck for a few years now, decided that the time had come to give their fans a change. After being smacked around the pitch by some of the best bashing teams in the NBFL, their GM decided that the time had come to fight fire with fire. No longer would the agility, finesse-style passing game be employed by the boys from Northern New York. The time had come to turn the franchise upside down. The team now will return to their former identities, giving their long-time fans exactly what they used to hunger for: blood. To be more specific, opponent's blood.
So, the management fired all of the current players, and began from scratch. New training techniques were implemented by new assistant coaches. The management felt, however, that their best chances of success were still with their current head coach burgun824. It will be his task to turn around the fortunes for this older fan base who have been craving a deep playoff run.
The team is beginning from the ground up, so there's really no limit or specific need to address, as they need... well, everything they can get. In assessing the players that were available, the front office scanned anything and everything that is available. They come to an important realization: In order to win and grow success, a team has to score touchdowns. They draft David Chow, a stat-monger to the highest degree. He came out of college with both Block and Dodge, which makes him harder to put down at the start. Now, take into account that he'll be MUCH harder to tie up or mark. Take into account, also, that Chow can retrieve a ball from places that most players dare not venture into.
It is going to take a bit of time for the support to develop for the squad. If, however, they manage to protect Chow and allow that support to develop around him, this team has found its Quarterback for the long haul. This is a top-notch pick.
WIPER JR: I'm inclined to agree, Stabby. Head coaches know it, but the general NBFL fans out there want to see their team pick the sexiest, most developed player available. Sometimes, it's not the sexiest pick that works out to be what's best for a squad. Congrats to Buffalo for realizing it.
Our next squad is also one of our new entries this season. The front office of this NFC West team decided, similar to Buffalo, that it was time to give their fans a change. They fired their entire squad, and went out and hired the Head Coach they desperately wanted, bringing him over from the AFC North.
6. SAN FRANCISCO
Race: Skaven
Player Selected: Galloping Ghoul (Nevada)
Skillset: Block, +AG, Side Step – 39 points
Position: Gutter Runner
Grade of Pick: A
WIPER JR: Last season was a rather difficult one for the former franchise here. The NFC West was dominated last season by agile, sneaky High Elves in Seattle. The new franchise arriving here hopes to be able to match both their speed and their agility.
The front office and ownership knew what they wanted to do to compete, so their first task was to go out and find a head coach that could post some immediate results. It appears that the GM had a very short list, as they paid a good amount of gold in transfer fees to free up coach BillBrasky from his contract in Cleave Land. You have to admire the ownership here. They know what they want, and they're willing to spend to go get it... I really wish I had that flexibility back in my days.
Skaven win by scoring. A lot. It's not unheard of to see games with 4 goals by a Skaven offense. The heart and soul of a good rat squad is their Gutter Runners. They are the engine that make everything go.
They are so effective because they have two things working on their side: speed and agility. Gutter Runners qualify as a Skilled section player, so let's see what's available.
To nobody's shock, most of the agility mongers have already been drafted. Even at pick #6, agility is often prized above most anything else. There is, however, one player left in the section that fits the bill in the person of Galloping Ghoul. He comes with a very nice skill set fitting the Gutter Runner profile nicely.
The front office recognizes the good fit, and select him to be one of the squad's primary receivers going forward. It's a solid choice for a developing squad. Good luck to you, Coach. It's going to be hard going at first, but if anybody can turn it around for those fans, it's you.
CHEFCTER: We're going to keep this train a rollin', thanks to those nice folks at Warpstone Dew. More teams, fewer segments, more bang for your buck! Our next squad is brand new to the fans of the NBFL. I'm not sure anyone really has much of an idea of what's going to be hitting them... other than poo flung from every direction.
7. KEGG'S ASS CITY (no link provided, as team not constructed yet)
Race: Simyin
Player Selected: Michael Barton (California)
Skillset: Block, Dodge, Tackle – 40 points
Position: Silverback
Grade of Pick: A
CHEFCTER: It was only a matter of time, but we'd like to welcome the first Simyin squad to ever make an appearance in our beloved NBFL. We wish Coach Keggiemckill all the best in bringing a new day to our beloved league. Hopefully, this draft pick and coach will be the answer to trivia questions in the future.
We've got a brand new squad here, so it'll be a bit of a different type of breakdown for all the folks watching out there. Many of you have never encoutered a Simyin squad at home, so we'll break it down for you here and now.
BONOBOS: This is the lineman of the roster. They're only moderately armored, and have General access.
ORANGUTAN: A bit less in movement, but better armor. These are what some people would consider to be the ball handlers of the squad, as they come with Strong Arm. “Throw-Rangutans”, as they would be referred to, aren't as useful as you'd think. Their movement is slower with the same agility as a typical Bonobo. Coaches often don't seem AS keen on investing an extra 20,000 starting gold for a player slightly slower, but slightly more armored. Yes, the Orangutan has access to Passing skills, but he doesn't come with any on board.
CHIMPANZEE: These are a very important positional for Simyins. They are the only player to come out of the box with what would be considered a core skill in Wrestle. They have access to both General and Agility skills. A bit more movement gives these boys a lot more flexibility in their functions for the squad.
GORILLA: A beefy, strength player. Very similar to a Troll Slayer in statistics, but only with Agility and Strength skills. They come with Grab, but lack access to the vital Block or Wrestle.
SILVERBACK: This is the center piece of the squad, their Big Guy. He's moderately fast for a Big Guy at MA5, heavily armored, and comes with Mighty Blow and Grab. They come, as you would expect, with Strength access.
CHEFCTER: It's quite the interesting roster. 5 players out of the crate (possibly) with Grab. Only two that can come out right away with Wrestle. EVERYBODY has Extra Arms. It's going to prove to be a challenge for all the coaches in the League to adapt to.
Coach Keggiemckill glances down the roster to eye a player that has an enormous upside for his fledgling squad. He drafts Barton who could prove to be a superstar for the club going forward. Coming with Block, Dodge, and Tackle, three skills which would end up being doubles for the Apes at the Silverback position.
With no real previous precedent to go on for Simyins, we can't help but see this pick as a win for the boys in the AFC West. We wish them many years of success going forward.
WIPER JR: I'm really fascinated to see how they perform, not only in the AFC West, but in the AFC in general. There's such a wide array of squads in the conference.
CHEFCTER: Have to agreee, Killy. Hopefully, we'll see a few of their matches this season to help grow the excitement of a new race joining the ranks.
WIPER JR: I think the League may be in for a surprise this season. I'm going to go out on a limb and say they'll be .500 at the end of this season.
CHEFCTER: Wow, Killy. That's bold. I think that may be a bit presumptuous. I think they'll turn heads, but with a brand new team in the super competitive AFC West, they may struggle in their first season.
WIPER JR: Whatever the case, we here at BSDN will be rooting for them. Our 8th squad finished in third place in the top-heavy AFC South.
8. HEARTHSTONE
Race: Dwarf
Player Selected: Hulk Hagen (Nevada)
Skillset: Block, Guard, Mighty Blow – 35 points
Position: Troll Slayer
Grade of Pick: A
NOTE: We assume this pick's point total will be reduced to 17.
WIPER JR: It was a bit of a down turn last season for the boys in mid-Texas. This team is still developing, finding its own identity along the way. The tools are falling nicely into place now, so the AFC South should be on notice.
Let's take a peek at how the roster breaks down, analyzing where the need is greatest.
RUNNER: No. There are two absolutely beautiful players on the squad here, in the likes of Trevor Flyton and Hundley Cooperspur. They're everything a Dwarven squad could hope for in the position.
BLITZER: Not really, no. The two players here are both well above average. There is unlikely to be enormous improvement to be made here.
TROLL SLAYER: Yes. This is an area that can be improved. Both players are very young, with Harkon Shieldbreaker having just learned his first skill. There are upgrades to be made here.
LONGBEARD Perhaps. There is seldom a team that can't be improved by drafting a quality core player.
DEATHROLLER: The team has yet to employ one, so there's no reason to think that they will draft one going forward.
Our main concern is a Troll Slayer. After that, we'd be looking at a Longbeard. The Strength section is just so limited in possibilities. The best option there seems to be Hulk Hagen, despite facing a points reduction.
Looking through the Lineman section, there are a few players who would be “nice”, but nothing revolutionary. It's sad to say this, but there really isn't a game-changing type of player that's out there to help this squad.
Nonetheless, we award an A grade to the front office of the Hexens, for seeing the field exactly the same way we did, and choosing the player that would best help their squad. It was the right choice to make, despite there being a myriad of talent to select from. Well done.
CHEFCTER: Folks, we're through the first 8 teams, but stick around. After this commercial break, we've got another jam-packed segment of analysis coming your way. Stick around!
ATTACKER: Hi. I'm David Attacker, longest tenured player on the Indianapolis Crypts. I've played 112 games in my NBFL career.
That's a long time..
But before I even became the ... uh... person.. you see before you, I was enjoying:
ATTACKER: I've played 112 out of my team's 114 games.
The 2 that I missed?
Too many Coroner Beers the night before... |
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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| Posted:
Jul 22, 2015 - 01:30 |
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CHEFCTER: We're back, fellow NBFL fans! Welcome back to the Season 15 edition of the NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. I'm your host Stabbem Chefcter, joined by our long time fellow analyst and amateur meterologist Kill Wiper Jr.
WIPER JR: I've been dabbling in weather just as long as we've been doing this show, Stabby.
CHEFCTER: How long ago was that, Killy?
WIPER JR: 1947, Stabby.
CHEFCTER: Needless to say, folks, we've been at this for quite a long time. We love what we do, and we sure hope you love it as much as we do. Let's get back to our breakdown.
This next squad came upon some hard times last season, but has been slugging away at the competition in the NFC North for a good number of seasons.
9. MINNESOTA
Race: Necromantic
Player Selected: Tim Little (Missouri)
Skillset: Block, Side Step, Tackle – 48 points
Position: Ghoul
Grade of Pick: B
CHEFCTER: It's been a bit of time since this formidable squad made an appearance in the latter stages of the playoffs. Be that as it may, it's always a thrilling match getting to watch the Wolfkings play in the NFC. Fans always seem to get their money's worth.
The squad has been helmed by Head Coach ritzi for many moons. His teams always seem to be ready to rumble and do damage, which is a testament to his team's preparedness and coaching skills. They play all aspects of the game with a ferocity that is matched by few teams in all the League.
So, let's do our usual roster breakdown, and see what's out there that can be drafted to improve the squad.
WEREWOLF. No. This squad has two dreamy players in the position in the likes of the venerable Adrian Peterson and the fast-learning Iron Beagle. Such a powerful 1-2 combination wouldn't be improved on through the draft.
FLESH GOLEM: No. These positions are held down by Matt Kalil and Kevin Carter,both of which are very good. There isn't a need to look for improvement here.
WIGHT: No. There's two very good ones in the unstoppable Greg Jennings and the ever-feared superstar Kevin Williams. There isn't any improvement over these two to be found in the draft.
GHOUL: Yes, there is a possibility of improvement to be made here. The squad already employs Leshon Johnson, who is quite good, but there's no second player currently on the roster. There's certainly a possibility to improve here.
ZOMBIE: Yes, there is room for improvement here, as the core players don't have a large amount of skills.
Looking at Minnesota's needs, we should be searching for either a Ghoul or a Zombie. Let's see what's out there.
A leisurely stroll through the Skilled section yields a few possibilities, the best of which most likely being Tim Little, based on the responsibilities that the staff places on their Ghouls. He's “good”, but there just isn't a “great” player to be added here for the position.
The Lineman section, however, appears to be wide open and untouched as of yet. There's a lot of utility to be found here, and even better, a number of ways the staff can go. We here at BSDN feel that the best possibility for the squad for a Zombie would be to pick up Tyler Coombes, who comes with Block and Guard at 24 points.
Our reasoning was this: it appears to us that a support Zombie would offer more of a direct impact for the stars on the team to function than a second Ghoul would offer, as he, in all likelihood, won't see nearly as much playing time as Coombes would have.
Nonetheless, the GM elects to draft the positional in Little. It's certainly not a “bad” pick by any means. The analysts at BSDN, however, felt that a supporting Lineman may have served a more immediate purpose.
WIPER JR: It's no secret that we in the Analysis Divison really value the Guard skill. The utility it offers is immense, allowing the featured stars to operate a lot more efficiently. We promise that, someday, we'll be releasing our calculations as to how we determine a player's utility as it relates to a particular team. But for now, on with the analysis!
Our next squad found itself struggling last season in the highly bashtastic AFC East last season.
10. NOO YORHK JETS
Race: Ogre
Player Selected: Brandon Dillon (Connecticut)
Skillset: Block, Dodge – 28 points
Position: Ogre
Grade of Pick: A+
WIPER JR: This is, quite simply, a no-brainer pick. It's very difficult to consider picking a Snotling when you know that their future is very limited. The Ogres take care of the vast majority of the workload on the squad, with the Snotlings taking care of the menial tasks, such as fouling, possibly ball-carrying, as well as Kicking.
Ogres qualify as a Big Guy and in the Strength category. The best option that remains on the board, by far, is Dillon. He comes on board with two skills not normally available to an Ogre, making him that much more valuable. Now, take into account those two skills. A Blodge Ogre will be VERY difficult to try to deal with, as opponents will have to commit either a Wrestler or a Tackler to Dillon.
In fairness, there are a number of excellent Snotling candidates on the board. It seems, however, that their serious lack of dependability, based on their severly low armor values, makes it very difficult to invest a pick on the position. This is, by far, the right pick to make for this squad. I'm sorry there's no long, sordid analysis of the pick, detailing the player's upside or talking about his family life. The front office knew what they needed. They went out and got the player that could best have an impact immediately. It's a simple as that.
CHEFCTER: I'm inclined to agree with you, Killy. There were two other options to consider for the boys of New York at the start of the draft. With their first target off the board in the likes of Michael Barton, this was the next best choice they could make. Let's now move on to our next pick, thanks once again to our friends at Warpstone Dew!
Pick number 11 belongs to a stout bunch of fellas wreaking havoc in the AFC North.
11. BEARDYMORE
Race: Dwarf
Player Selected: Paden Crowder (Alabama)
Skillset: Mighty Blow, Tackle, Strip Ball, Piling On – 54 points
Position: Blitzer
Grade of Pick: B+
CHEFCTER: We're not certain exactly what ran through this squad. By the looks of it, they have either fallen victim to a large amount of Claw, or a horrible plague, similar to Morley's Revenge.
The team appears to have been gutted, either because of injury or lack of performance. There's an enormous amount of needs that these guys have.
With the massive run on the Skilled section, there is only one really suitable player remaining for a Dwarf Runner in the likes of Rondon Bibbs. He's very good, but at 61 points, he'd be a big investment with little around to support him. This is probably not the way to go.
We've already waxed poetic on the lack of quality Strength players available. The best player left that would qualify would be Taylor Loftley. He would be an above average player, but wouldn't have nearly the impact that the team requires. It's probably best that the team kept looking, which they do.
There are a number of good options, however, in the Blitzer section. 3 options quickly rise to the top:
1) Donte Whitner – Side Step, Dodge, Fend – 47 points
2) Trey Depriest – Tackle, Mighty Blow, +AG – 38 points
3) Paden Crowder – Mighty Blow, Tackle, Strip Ball, Piling On – 54 points
These three players represent 3 different directions the team could go here, be it an more offensive-oriented player, a defensive player, or one that plays both sides well. With the needs of this team being so great, we here at BSDN would elect to draft a player that can play both sides of the ball. We would have drafted Trey Depriest.
The front office for Beardymore, however, decides that it would like to start its removal section for its roster by drafting Crowder. He's a very good player who can play both sides of the ball. We felt, however, that drafting a Blitzer with added agility would just be that much more useful to a young squad. Regardless, the Shavens should be very happy with picking up a player like Crowder, as his potential is quite good. He'll be an immediate asset to the squad.
WIPER JR: Our 12th overall pick this year belongs to a high-powered offense in the vastly deep NFC West.
12. ARIZONA
Race: Skaven
Player Selected: Trey Depriest (Alabama)
Skillset: Mighty Blow, Tackle, +AG – 38 points
Position: Storm Vermin
Grade of Pick: A
WIPER JR: It was a bit of a hard run last year for these boys in the NFC West. With some players being lost to injury at key positions, it's no wonder that Arizona had some struggles.
The team, however, has a very nice core to build on, and with the development of a few players, could easily return to a playoff run. Let's see where the holes are, and identify if there's some improvements to make.
RAT OGRE: No. With John Abraham on the roster, there really isn't a need to look for an improvement here.
GUTTER RUNNER: Yes. Half of the players here are rather young, while the other two are very good. The way Skaven win, and everyone wins for that matter, is by scoring touchdowns. That's the role for these guys of the Gutter Runner. If there's a good one there, it would be worth investing in.
STORM VERMIN: Yes. This team could really benefit by getting star player Brian Leonard some help. This is a place where improvement can be made.
THROWER: No. There are already not one, but two wonderful players on the squad, one of which, somehow, happens to be Eli Manning. There isn't much in the way of improvement to be offered here.
LINERAT: Sure. Always room to improve on the core of the club!
Our needs that we've identified are a Gutter Runner, a Storm Vermin, and a Linerat. We've come up with a list of the three best options, one out of each section, which we'll discuss.
First, out of the Skilled section, our best option would, in all likelihood, be C.J. Sssanderson, who comes with Wrestle, Diving Tackle, and Side Step. A good player to be sure, but one that is geared far more toward the defensive side of the ball, which isn't really what the squad needs at this point. We'd put this in the “maybe” section.
Next, out of the Blitzer section, the best option for Arizona would appear to be Trey Depriest, who stat-mongers some agility, as well with Mighty Blow and Tackle. Adding a bit more agility adds to any player's utility. Now, take into account that a Skaven team thrives on its agility players, and this seems to be an excellent choice to make. This pick seems to be the front runner.
A look through the Lineman section would also offer the opportunity to draft C.J. Sssanderson, as he would qualify here as well. He may serve a more meaningful purpose with the aforementioned skillset as a Linerat, allowing the Gutter Runners to operate with a bit more ease. This would not be a bad choice at all.
In the end, however, it's quite obvious to see that drafting Depriest as a Storm Vermin makes by far the most sense for the squad. He fits in to the scheme of what the position calls for very nicely, and adds a bit more flexibility on the defensive side. It's a great pick for the Sinners.
CHEFCTER: Folks, we're through the first 12 picks of this season's draft. Stay with us. After some commercial messages, we'll be back to discuss a few more teams building toward their dreams of an NBFL title. Stay tuned! |
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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| Posted:
Aug 01, 2015 - 01:01 |
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CHEFCTER: And we are back, NBFL fans! You're watching the NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. I'm sure you know who we are by now, but this time, we want to hear about YOU.
WIPER JR: That's right. Fans, Stabby and I would like to hear from you via our social media app, Spitter. Send us in some questions that you want answers to. Tell us who you are, and what your favorite NBFL team is. We're anxious to talk with you.
CHEFCTER: While we wait for you, the fans, to submit some questions to us, we'd like to get back to doing what we both love to do: talk about draft picks! On with the show!
Our next squad has been around before, and happens to be one of our favorites.
13. CLEAVAGELAND
Race: Amazon
Player Selected: Jackie Reese (Connecticut)
Skillset: Block, +ST – 18 points
Position: Linebabe
Grade of Pick: A
CHEFCTER: The great city of Cleveland has undergone quite a bit of change as of late, most of it for the better. The Cavs brought back LeBron, issuing in an air of positive change over the city. The Indians started off playing well, but have faded off as of late.
Then, the bomb was dropped that the Cleave Land squad, and its esteemed coach BillBrasky had accepted a deal to move the coaching staff out west to San Francisco. It had seemed to loyal fans in the city that the feeling of doom and gloom that hung over the city for so long was back to stay.
That was when JackassRampant heard the call, and saw a great opportunity. He and his squad were away from the NBFL for a season, due to allegations of team-wide wagering on NCBB games. Having served his time, he placed a call to the powers that be in the now-vacant city.
Cleveland was well aware of the successful history of Flashington. After a few minutes of discussion, a 3-year deal was struck to have the team now play in Ohio on a trial basis. They hope that the deal will grow into something long-term, as it is a win-win for both sides of the agreement.
The coaching staff and front office stays in tact. The venue is the only thing that changes. The philosophies and hard work put in by these ladies never changed. That being said, let's look at the roster as it stands, and see where we can make some improvement.
BLITZER: Not necessary. All 4 of these ladies are already in place, and very well versed in what's expected of them. There isn't enough improvement to be found here.
THROWER: Possibly. Given the team's history, however, this typically isn't a
position that the coaching staff leans on heavily. There would be improvement that could be made here, but it doesn't really play into the style of the coaching staff.
CATCHER: Possible. This is the same reasoning as the Thrower position. The ladies would much rather carry the ball down the field, rather than having to rely on the passing game. Yes, there's room for improvement here, but the position has not commonly been invested in heavily in the past.
LINEBABE: Yes. Coach [url=]JackassRampant[/url] employs a very straight-forward, no nonsense approach. Everyone does, or is at least able to do everything. They are usually the stronger of the group, as they have 3 players with +ST on the squad. They have all the necessary supporting skills, but there's always room for improvement.
So, with regards to the roster, we would probably be looking for a Linebabe, based on the style employed by their front office. After that, we'd be looking for something in the Skilled section.
In the Lineman section of the draft, there are two players that rise to the top:
Tyler Coombes – Block, Guard – 24 points
Jackie Reese – Block, +ST – 18 points
It is true that, in most circumstances, we at BSDN would choose a Guard player. This situation, however, is one of those times where we have to pass on her.
Reese fits the game plan to a tee. She becomes the 4th Linebabe on the squad to have some extra strength coming out of college. She can have a bit more of an effect right away over Coombes.
The coaching staff sticks to the plan that has proven to be successful for quite some time, drafting its 4th ST4 player. Nobody relishes the chance to have to face off against 4 different ST4 Blodgers. This core could prove to be one of the two most annoying squads to play against in all the league, along with Gnawleans.
CHEFCTER: Joining us now in his new home city is the head coach of the relocated Cleavageland squad, JackassRampant. Pleasure to have you on the program again, Coach. Welcome back.
JACKASSRAMPANT: Heya, Stabbem. Good to be back.
CHEFCTER: Coach, tell us about the building of your Linebabes. Do you find their utility increases more with some extra Strength, as opposed to taking a player with Guard?
JACKASSRAMPANT: Can't pass up on that +ST. Especially with a low-armor squad, redundancy is the key to success.
CHEFCTER: Give us some insight on what it was like when you got that phone call saying they wanted you and your squad in Clevageland.
JACKASSRAMPANT: I was thrilled! I'd been forced out of Flashington due to some completely unfounded and false gambling accusations, but I felt really honored by the chance to come back to the League so quickly! I'm really looking forward to the challenge of two Dwarf teams and the Superbowl champs. We've got a good record against champions, and I'm itching for another couple shots to bring down the top dog.
CHEFCTER: Coach, we have to ask, why such a lack of emphasis for Catchers and Throwers?
JACKASSRAMPANT: It's not a lack of emphasis, it's just the way the cookie crumbled. We've had some great Throwers and Catchers over the years, such as K.Kahaku-Enhada, but they've all met their makers and now we're just down to our brutal, bashy core. Frankly, that's my kind of footbal anyway, I'm not much for dancing around and throwing the ball while there are guys in front of me who need a beating!
CHEFCTER: As is customary, Coach, it's prediction time. You're now out of the dogfight that was the NFC East. You've not only changed cities, but you've changed conferences. What can we hope to expect out of the AFC North this season?
JACKASSRAMPANT: I've learned better than to post any expectations. We expect to play some good football, and we hope to make it back to the playoffs this year. We're tooled up to beat low-armor speed teams, it'll be interesting to see how we cope with the bashy AFC North.
CHEFCTER:Head Coach JackassRampant, now of the Cleavageland squad. We know the team has yet to unfurl its new name and logo, but we anxiously await your return. Thank you for joining us today.
WIPER JR: Our next squad is built on speed and finesse, finding itself competing in the NFC East.
14. DALLAS
Race: Wood Elf
Player Selected: Tyler Coombes (Tennessee)
Skillset: Block, Guard – 24 points
Position: LineElf
Grade of Pick: A
WIPER JR: This team looks to be in serious rebuild mode. The roster has been devastated by injuries and disease. There's been a large amount of turnover for the squad, yet they still manage to find a way to be competitive. That's a testament to good, solid coaching.
There's quite a few needs to address for the squad, so let's look through some players and categories.
WARDANCER: There is a need here for a second player on the squad. Victor Butler is a wonderful player, but he will need some assistance to stay alive and healthy.
TREEMAN: No. Ed Jones is an EXCELLENT player for the squad, helping to absorb some of the hits that are meant for the Wood Elves. There isn't a great improvement to make here.
THROWER: No. Danny White Elm still braves the pocket for Dallas, and he's quite good, completing a staggering 86 passes thus far in his career. He's a bit slower since first appearing in the league, but he's just as agile as ever. There isn't an improvement to be made here.
CATCHER: Yes. The squad only has two on the roster, in the young Deion Sanders and the very good Dez Bryant. They're running short on the position, so there's improvement that can be made here.
LINEELF: Sure. Always room to improve the core position on a squad.
The needs we've now identified are a Wardancer, a Catcher, and a Lineelf, so let's see what we've got.
Wardancers qualify in the Blitzer section. A quick glance through shows that our best option would be Donte Whitner, who would face a reduction. He would come with Fend and Side Step, having already acquired Dodge, bringing him down to an estimated 26-28 points.
Next would be the Skilled section for a Catcher. There's a pretty nice option available in Rondon Gibbs, who comes with Block, Dodge, Dump Off, and Side Step and 64 points. He certainly offers a great target for White Elm to connect with down the pitch.
We also breeze through the Lineman section for a core player. There's a very good support player in Tyler Coombes, who comes with Block and Guard and 24 points.
This was a very difficult, and split decision from us here at BSDN. With Wood Elves, your natural instinct is to just watch them score at will. You'd therefore think you'd want to draft a scoring matchine; someone that can put up touchdowns.
That may not be the case here, however. A supporting player may just be the way to go here. It's far more difficult to skill up and score with a LineElf than any other position. Drafting a skilled player to be support may prove to allow a lot more development all around. That's the real reason why Coombes was the choice that we at BSDN felt would be best for the Dendrophiliacs.
CHEFCTER: This is a tough call. I'd sure be torn as to which way to go. Thankfully, to give all of us some futher insight to the thought process for Dallas, we have with us the Head Coach of the Dendrophiliacs, OTS joins us on the program this season. How's it going, Coach? Welcome to the show.
OTS: Thanks for having me guys. I'm a little earlier this year than I'd like, but whattaya do when you manage a bunch of ponces.
CHEFCTER: Coach, we've been having a discussion as to your draft pick. Could you let us in on the reasoning, and how you came to settle on drafting Tyler Coombes?
OTS: Tyler's a terrific player and we're hopeful the little sissy nanny can provide some assistance to the real stars of the team. His willingness to get in there and throw a block will go along way to opening some holes for this team. We've got quite a few guys who shy away from a fight and we know Tyler will wade right in... at least till he dies on the pitch. Not to talk bad about the new guy, but we were really looking for a chance to bolster our defense with a new Dancer. We were looking to land one of the studs from 'Bama but unfortunately they were all off the board by the time we picked. Hazards of a mediocre season I suppose. This draft was light in skill players in general and catchers and dancers can skill quickly. The guys left when it was our turn to pick had nothing special to offer so we decided to develop our own from our practice squad.
CHEFCTER: Your squad uses quite a different style of play, compared to the other teams in the NFC East. Talk to us about what the competititon is like, having to play with the likes of last season's NFC Champion and a former NBFLSuper Bowl Champion.
OTS: We run a high octane offense which the fans love. We lead the league every year in TDs scored and passing efficiency. The East has some fantastic coaches it's a shame we couldn't have been blessed by that shit show of a conference the NFC South. What a bunch of sad sack bastards in that mess. My goal each year is to beat up on the losers in the cross conference battles and try and split with the monsters in the NFC East. They really should stop with letting other teams in the playoffs and just have the 4 of us slug it out.
CHEFCTER: Care to offer us a prediction for the upcoming season, Coach?
OTS: A lot will hinge on how Victor returns from his injuries. If he comes back stronger than ever we will have a solid defense. Our offense under Danny White will be fantastic as always. There is no better distributor in the NBFL than Danny and that's a fact. We know we will score a lot but if we can't stop the other teams from scoring we'll be screwed. I expect a run at the championship, if we suck I may fire these pussies and hire a bunch of dwarfs.
WIPER JR: Coach, Kill Wiper Jr. here. Could you give us some insight on the proper way for an agile team, such as Dallas, to build its core for long-term success? Is it all about getting Guard, or a pile of Blodgers? What do you feel is the make-up for a successful Wood Elf Lineman core?
OTS: I design my offense to protect my stars. We hold them back until the reward outweighs the risk and we rush in. Leaving your play makers sitting out there to get beat on by the meatheads in this league is a recipe to pick where Jacksonville does each season.
CHEFCTER: Coach OTS, thank you very much for dropping by the show. A pleasure to talk with you.
WIPER JR: That squad of his has some dynamic, game-changing type of players.
CHEFCTER: They'll be back toward the top soon enough, Killy. Our 15th pick this season belongs to the runner-up in last season's NFC North.
15. DETROILET
Race: Nurgle
Player Selected: Taylor Loftley (Vampirebilt)
Skillset: Dodge, Guard – 17 points
Position: Nurgle Warrior
Grade of Pick: A
CHEFCTER: 2nd place in this division is nothing to sneeze at, considering the teams that are found here. The NFC is well aware of this team, and what it's capable of. It's only a matter of time before we see a triumphant return to the NFC Playoff picture.
Let's take a gander at the roster as it is now, and see if we can locate some improvement and help for the boys of the Motor City.
BEAST OF NURGLE: Sean Brown is here to stay, hopefully for quite a long time. He's well above average for the position, so there's no need to look here.
NURGLE WARRIOR: It's possible, but it may not be the first place I look. Three of the four on the squad are very well established, with the fourth being rather young. There could be improvement made here, but there may be more improvement in other areas.
PESTIGOR: We're looking at the same scenario at this position. We've got three very good players, and a young fourth member. This is also a possibility.
ROTTER: Yes. There's room to build the team through its core. It's a possibility also.
This could simply be a case of needing the best player available, so let's see the highlights of each section.
ROTTER: Best player would be This Season Sucks: Block, Guard and 16 points OR Rueben Robinson: Block, Dirty Player and 25 points.
PESTIGOR: Based on the structure of the squad and what they ask of their players, the best player would be Donte Whitner: Dodge, Side Step, Fend and 47 points
NURGLE WARRIOR: Best player would be Taylor Loftley: Dodge, Guard and 17 points.
These are some highly useful players that are available this late into the draft. This is quite a luxurious position to be in for a few different reasons. It's a good feeling that the team you coach for is really well-rounded, and you're only looking to improve on the good pieces you already have. This offers you greater flexibility in who you draft, and doesn't put nearly as much pressure on the draft pick to perform immediately.
The front office analyzes all of their possibilities. They confidently send their pick to the podium, and draft Taylor Loftley to play as their fourth Nurgle Warrior. They felt that, playing in that position, Loftley had a greater upside. We here at BSDN completely and whole-heartedly agree. Killy, can you elaborate on a reason or two why this really was the way to go?
WIPER JR: I'd be happy to, Stabby. For a squad such as these Nurgle, positionals are of the utmost importance. I don't say that to trivialize the function that the Rotters serve, but their Decay and armor (or lack thereof) make them somewhat unreliable investments.
So, the focus narrows to either a Nurgle Warrior or a Pestigor, so in effect, it's either Whitner or Loftley. While both players have good skills to offer, Loftley features Guard, a highly useful skill for Nurgle, and also a double in Dodge.
Whitner seems to fit the idea and scheme that the Sewer Lions employ; a harassing, defensive style that makes them difficult to manage. He even has Side Step, making him an added nuisance. The skills that Loftley brings to the table in that position, however, will outweigh the offerings that Whitner brings to a Pestigor.
Nuffle willing, and Loftley makes it to 31 points, he can pick up Block and become the third of four Nurgle Warriors on the squad that Blodge. That's incredibly difficult to deal with.
CHEFCTER: No concerns about drafting a player without Block, Killy?
WIPER JR: Not as much here, Stabby. Seeing as how the position features Foul Appearance, the player is going to avoid one of every 6 blocks already. It's not an enormous amount of assurance, but in all likelihood, Loftley isn't going to be called on to make double-digit amounts of blocks early on in his career. It's not nearly the problem it could be on a less-developed squad.
CHEFCTER: That's some good analysis there, Killy. The folks at BSDN had been unanimous before the draft began that Detroilet needed a Nurgle Warrior. We didn't think, however, that there would be one available for them at 15.
WIPER JR: How right you are, Stabby. Fortune smiles upon Coach Lorebass this go-around.
Our next squad is on the rise. They've been building for a few years now toward a squad that can and will instill fear in the not-so distant future.
16. INSANE-LOUIS
Race: Chaos
Player Selected: Ka'Deem Carey (Arizona)
Skillset: Block, Frenzy, Tackle – 36 points
Position: Beastman
Grade of Pick: B-
WIPER JR: These boys have been slowly building a team that will have the ability to compete in the long term. Coach Garnak has this team slowly building some serious momentum. The hitting and removal are already in place. The support has been slow to develop, but they are coming around. There are a few NBFL super stars found on this toster. The NFC West should be far more aware this coming season of what this team can (and will) do.
Let's take a peek at this roster to analyze where it needs help.
MINOTAUR: No. It's here that we find superstar #1 on this team in Rocky Longer. He leads the way for removal on the squad, scoring thus far a whopping 38 casualties. There's no need to look at replacing him.
CHAOS WARRIOR: Possibly. 3 of the 4 are nicely developed supporters. The fourth is still young, though just a single point away from his next skill. If there's a very good player available here, it may be worth considering.
BEASTMAN: Yes. There's certainly room to improve here, as there are 4 flat-out rookies on the squad. This would be a place where improvement would be certain.
It seems obvious that the best place to be looking would be for a Beastman unless there is a dynamic Chaos Warrior available. The chances of the latter being the case and pick 16 is slim to none, given who has already been drafted. We'll therefore focus solely on the Beastman position.
In the core of this squad, we find such super stars as ball-handler Norm Van Brocklin, ball harasser Payup Manning, and removal agents Les Richter and Xipe-Totec. We also find the imposing Kurt Warner, who basically becomes Chaos Warrior #5 for the team.
There's a lot of good players there. They need a bit of cohesion to help work together. We usually can achieve that with some supporting players, allowing the stars to work more freely. Ideally, the theory would be to draft a Guard player to offer the removal a bit more support to work.
As we look through our list, we come up with a pair of possibilities:
Cory Beebles – Wrestle, Guard – 23 pts
Geraldo Orta – Block, Guard – 18 pts
We here at BSDN feel that the way to go here would be to draft Orta. We came to this conclusion by deciding that Block would be more useful to his role.
We say this because a Guard player cannot do his job if he gets Wrestled to the pitch. At least if the player has Block, there's a chance that he remains standing on a “Both Down” result. It's a nuance that allows Guard to be slightly more valuable to that player.
The front office for the Goats searches through the available candidates, and comes to select Ka'Deem Carey out of Arizona. He comes out of college with Block, Frenzy, and Tackle, and 36 points.
BSDN Analysts didn't really see a need for another hitter on this squad. There are already two star Beastmen hitters, as well as Rocky Longer on the squad. In order for them to hit most players effectively, the support players will need to commit to their areas to offer a Guard for a 2d block. More hitters require more support, which the team just doesn't have to spare at this time.
The Goats also already have 2 Frenzy players on the squad, one of which being Longer. Adding a third Frenzy player inevitably lends itself to exposing the team to an unassisted 1d block at some point, and burning important rerolls.
The addition of a third Tackle player is helpful, but it just feels to us like it may be coming on the wrong player for the squad. Stabby, I fully expect a playoff appearance coming up this season for the Goats.
CHEFCTER: Really? That's a bit of a bold statement. Do you think they can take the division?
WIPER JR: It's a possibility. They certainly have the fire power to do it, but with such sneaky players out there that are found in defending division champion Seattle and all those other Skaven running around, it will depend on Nuffle's will.
CHEFCTER: How right you are, Killy. The new Tackle player will at least come into play a bit faster, given the change in the division's playing field, but will it be enough to make a big difference right away? We'll have to wait and see.
Folks, stay tuned to the show. In our next segment, we have 3 AFC teams to discuss. With the slight shifting around in the Conference, it should be an interesting discussion. Stay tuned, folks! |
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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| Posted:
Aug 06, 2015 - 02:37 |
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CHEFCTER: We are back, folks! Welcome back to the Season 15 Edition of the NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. I'm your co-host Stabbem Chefcter sitting along side longtime analyst and amateur Ham radio operator, Kill Wiper Jr.
WIPER JR: People in Papua New Guinea need to hear about their favorite teams and players, Stabby.
CHEFCTER: This guy sitting next to me LOVES this league, and what he does. That is some serious dedication to this sport.
WIPER JR: If I had the time, I'd see a game in every city each season, and paint my face to whatever home stadium I was at. It just seems like this league has the greatest fans in the Old World.
CHEFCTER: Well, Killy, this next team is no exception to that sentiment. These guys are one of the older squads still kicking around in the NBFL. They find themselves slugging away, year after year, holding their own in the dreaded AFC North.
17. PITTSBURGH
Race: Chaos Dwarf
Player Selected: Omari Phillips (Tennessee)
Skillset: Block, Guard, Stand Firm – 33 points
Position: Minotaur
Grade of Pick: A
CHEFCTER: Though long gone are the days of superstars such as James Farrior or Limas Sweed, these venerable warriors are a constant force in the AFC North.
These dudes mean business, in a VERY physical way. Everyone on this squad has the potential to damage their opponent, whether they are standing or laying on the pitch. Booting and fouling is not above this squad; in fact, they take great pride in their abilities to leave their mark.
Pittsburgh has one of the oldest front 6 in the NBFL, with the Chaos Dwarf Blockers totalling 228 games. The front office would like to give them a bit of assistance, or may even consider replacing one. Let's see what the needs are, and what is available for Head Coach Nicodemus1.
MINOTAUR: Yes. There isn't a player in this position on the roster. This could be a good fit if there's an adequate player available.
BULL CENTAUR: No. This should definitely not be considered. The two players that are employed here, the legendary Steve Gronski and BigBen III are the perfect compliments to each other. This dynamic pair is what keeps this squad moving forward.
CHAOS DWARF BLOCKER: It's possible. One of these boys is a rookie, so there could be some improvement made here.
HOBGOBLIN: There is room for improvement here as well. With 6 players on the squad here, half of them are complete rookies.
This could honestly be a situation of the best player available. We at BSDN feel that either a Hobgoblin or a Minotaur would be the best scenario for the team. A skilled Hobgoblin offers the team a bit more flexibility with what it can do, and where it can go. A skilled Minotaur not only hits things, but absorbs some of the hits that are meant for the precious Chaos Dwarf Blockers.
We'll look first for a Minotaur. Fortunately for Pittsburgh, the section has not been touched yet. Unfortunately, there were only 2 candidates that came out of the NCBB this season.
One of those players happens to be Omari Phillips. He fits what Pittsburgh is looking for perfectly. He's the type of Big Guy that you could turn loose on his own with little concern. That would be an enormous advantage for the other players on the roster.
As we also look for the best Hobgoblin available, we come across Rueben Robinson, a player who seems to fit the idea of the position the best. He's a bit advanced for the position at 25 points, but comes with the necessary skills to fit in.
The more immediate and direct impact for the entire roster would seem to be made by drafting Omari Phillips, which Pittsburgh wisely does. This offers a bit more removal for the team. It offers a ST5 Frenzy player who will rarely require a Guard to assist in blocking. He offers a much larger, durable target for opponents to hit, taking a bit of pressure off of the CDB's.
It's a very good pick for a solid team.
WIPER JR: I'm inclined to agree, Stabby. If they can get some consistant play out of the position, that will go a long way in suring up their defenses.
Our next team is climbing their way up the ladder in the AFC, though they're beginning their journey from six feet under....
18. INDIANAPOLIS
Race: Undead
Player Selected: Nathan Peterman (Tennessee)
Skillset: Block, Pass, Sure Hands, Kick-Off Return – 52 points
Position: Ghoul
Grade of Pick: A
WIPER : This team may have the best collection of talent on the top of its roster in all of the NBFL. These guys are ready for a deep AFC Playoff run if they could add a piece or two.
Let's just jump right into it, and see what positions are needed to improve.
MUMMY: Definintely not. These two boys, Rickey Moore and Jeremiah Terrible are two of the NBFL's brighter stars. There won't be any improvement made here through the draft.
WIGHT: Definitely not. Here's where you find two more of the shining players of the NBFL. You won't improve on Darkmontre Moore or Duane Blockett through the draft.
GHOUL: YES! One might even say that this is a desperate need for the squad. Of the three players at this position, only Dallas Claw has a single skill. There's certainly improvement to be made here.
ZOMBIE/SKELETON: There's quite a bit of talent in the core already, but there's always room to add a quality player here.
To nobody's surprise, a Ghoul screams to the top of the list of needs for the Crypts. Let's see what's available in the ever-popular Skilled section.
The section, as is the case every draft, has been depleted of its legendary talent early. That's not to say that there aren't “great” players left. Coach MrNomad and his team carefully examine the remaining players, and select Nathan Peterman, a ball-handler out of Tennessee. This pick is exactly what the team is in dire need of, and here's why...
This team, as it is currently built, would be perfect for Peterman to thrive. They're so nicely built for protection of the ball.
The leading scorers, in reference to touchdowns, are the two Wights. Due to injury circumstances, they've been pressed to be ball carriers as well as all the other jobs they are required to do. Adding Peterman takes more of that undue pressure off the Wights, allowing them to focus on smacking people in their genitalia.
All in all, this was the pick that needed to be made. An immediate impact, a skill set that is sought. It's a beautiful fit for Indianapolis. Not much more to it than that.
CHEFCTER: Seems like a lay-up for the Crypts. There are a few of those types of picks every sesaon in the NBFL. Our next team, picking at 19, is another example of this.
19. ATLATL
Race: Lizardmen
Player Selected: Wes Blob (Air Force)
Skillset: Block, Guard, Mighty Blow – 31/16 points
Position: Kroxigor
Grade of Pick: A
CHEFCTER: It seems odd to me to be speaking of the Falchions this early in the show. I'm
more accustomed to hearing about their usual pick being made deep into the 20's. These boys are some of the elder statesmen of the NBFL, playing since the Commish opened the doors. They are always a pleasure to watch, rarely disappointing their rabid fans. They've only ever known one Head Coach.
Let's see how the roster is currently comprised, and decide where we can offer some improvement to the franchise.
KROXIGOR: Yes. There's currently nobody on the squad for that position, so this would be an excellent place to add some improvement.
SAURUS: Probably not, no. There are already 6 players on the roster, all of which have at least 2 skills. Unless there was a game-changing type of player remaining on the board, this wouldn't be the place to look.
SKINK: There's always room to improve in the core. Improvement can certainly be found here.
So, we've decided that we're going to be seeking either a Kroxigor or a Skink. First, we search through the Big Guy section.
There happens to be one player remaining in the Draft room, awaiting to be picked up. It's Wes Blob, a strong, taller player who hopes to be in the middle of a front line somewhere. He comes out of college with Block and Guard, two skills which are coveted for the position.
The addition of another beefy player allows for greater long-term development of rhe Skink core on this squad. He also takes a few extra hits away from all the Saurii, allowing everybody else to survive that much longer. He'll be facing a points reduction due to the recurrance of Mighty Blow, but this pick certainly looks to make the most sense.
WIPER JR: Couldn't agree with you more, Stabby. If you can add some effective beef to your frontline, chances are high that it's a very good move to make.
Our next squad in this segment is our first of last season's Playoff squads. Due to a sliding clock scenario, they managed to jump into pick #20.
20. TENNESSEE
Race: Orc
Player Selected: Korren Kirven (Alabama)
Skillset: Block, Guard – 27 points
Position: Black Orc Blocker
Grade of Pick: A
WIPER JR: We'd like to congratulate the Titanz on their division championship last season. Despite the fact that the AFC South was not nearly as competitive top-to-bottom as some of the other divisions, it still says a lot about your squad if you come through the Regular Season to make a Playoff Appearance.
These boys play and old school, face-bashing game with a wrinkle or two in their repertoire, stocking up on an abundance of Shadowing. It has proven to be quite an asset for the Titanz, preserving at least 1 win last season for Coach Arktoris.
For now, let's peek at their roster to see if we can find the place to add the most improvement.
BLACK ORC BLOCKER: Maybe. The captain of the core is Karl Klug, a stud of a player. His comrades, however, are still relatively young, comparatively speaking. The other 3 members of the BOB squad have played less than half the games that Klug has. The players here are just beginning, so it's possible there could be some improvement to be made here.
BLITZER: No. This core of players is dynamite. This is definitely not the place to look for drafting.
GOBLIN: Believe it or not, no. Coach Arktoris believes in having the best player available in each position, whenever he can. The two players of this position are both quite good. The position certainly isn't viewed as a throw-away, or taken for granted.
THROWER: It's possible, but only as a luxury. With Jake Locker in place, there sure wouldn't be an improvement for the starter at this position. There is, however, room for a 2nd stringer, goodness forbid Locker couldn't play for some reason.
LINEMAN: In all honesty, probably not, no. There are already 3 on the squad. They all have a specific function or two to perform; all of them are trained to perform the same way.
TROLL: No. Michael von Bargen is still on the squad. He draws ever closer to being a Legend in the NBFL. He should be hanging around on the team for quite a long time.
This is a great situation to be in. There's no glaring need to be addressed on the squad. At this point, we're just looking to make an improvement on anything that would be available. The two positions that we've identified for this would be a Thrower or a BOB, so let's look what we've got available.
Here's our best options for both positions:
THROWER: Ian Mason (Missouri) – Block, Dodge, Accurate, Sure Hands – 60 points
BOB: Korren Kirven (Alabama) – Block, Guard – 27 points
Now, we approached our reasoning this way. The better player for his position is Mason. None of us disagreed with that. The problem we had with drafting him is that he would be seeing very little playing time behind Jake Locker. That's quite a big contract to invest in a player who rides your pine.
Kirven, on the other hand, comes on the pitch immediately. He's only 4 points away from picking up either Mighty Blow or Tackle. He's a good support player who would be on the pitch right away. That aspect makes him a bit more valuable in the short AND long term, so we at BSDN would select the BOB.
The front office seems to think the same way we do, and chooses to draft Kirven. He'll be an asset who is ready to step right into the scheme. This pick makes the most sense.
CHEFCTER: Folks, we're through our first 20 picks of this season's draft. We've also had a team slide down a few picks, allowing a playoff squad to steal an earlier pick! The excitement will be rolling on in our next segment.
WIPER JR: That's right, Stabby. Our next segment is where we get to talk in earnest about last season's playoff teams. We do have one that will sneak into the later picks that hadn't qualified, as they allowed their pick to slide, but from here on in, we get to talk about who should continue to be “in the 20's”, as we say about playoff squads at BSDN. We'll also speculate who will rise, and who shall come back to the pack.
CHEFCTER: It's even more exciting from here on out, folks. We also have some compensatory picks to discuss at the end of the draft. Stick around! We'll be back with more wall-to-wall coverage of the NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show right after this short break!
Also, fans! Don't forget to hit us up on our Social Media site Spitter with all your questions and comments about our beloved NBFL. We'll even be answering a few lucky viewer's questions on the air! Stay tuned! |
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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Aug 15, 2015 - 02:15 |
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CHEFCTER: Welcome back, NBFL fans. You're watching the Season 15 edition of the NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. I'm Stabbem Chefcter, alongside my co-host since the program began back in 1947, Mr. Kill Wiper Jr. How's it going, Killy?
WIPER JR: Doing well, my friend. Looking forward to talking about some playoff teams in this segment.
CHEFCTER: He's right, fans. We're at that point in the draft where we're talking about last year's playoff teams exclusively.
WIPER JR: With one exception this season, fans. We had a team slide down two picks, so there will be one squad that didn't qualify. They were just late in submitting a pick this season to the Commish.
CHEFCTER: So without, further ado, let's get you back into the swing of the League. This next squad has become one of the most annoying and frustrating squads to play against in the history of the NBFL.
21. GNAWLEANS
Race: Nurgle
Player Selected: Ian Mason (Missouri)
Skillset: Block, Dodge, Sure Hands, Accurate – 60 points
Position: Pestigor
Grade of Pick: B-
CHEFCTER: When you think of frustrating teams to play against, these guys are, arguably, the top of the mountain. If these guys manage to get in striking range of their opponents, that's when the (lack of) fun begins...
They already come fitted with both Disturbing Presence and Foul Appearance. Add in some Blodge along the way. Now, give the bigger guys a set of Tentacles, so that if you try to sneak away, it doesn't happen. They hold you in place, and beat on you until you leave the pitch (with the medical staff's assistance, of course), and then move and grab the next target. It's very difficult to play against or escape from.
Obviously they're doing things the right way, as they're qualifying for the Playoffs. Let's see how their roster looks after their run and see if we can add a piece to push them along further.
BEAST OF NURGLE: Not necessary. Muerte Anderson is still in place, and already has Block. He's a very nice piece of the team thus far, so no need to seek improvement here.
NURGLE WARRIOR: Yes. With the untimely passing late last season of Rikki Jakksen, the front line was forced to start a rookie in the position. The three remaining players here have been around since they openend the doors. There is improvement to be made here.
PESTIGOR: Yes. We're looking at a slightly simlar situation, with the team losing it's fourth player later on in the season. They haven't had nearly the consistency in this position as they have in the aforementioned Nugle Warrior slot. Gnawleans has cycled through a number of Pestigors, with only Colt Nichter being the constant. He's seen them all come and go, being the elder statesman on the squad. There's certainly room for improvement here through a 4th player.
ROTTER: Yes. There are currently 5 players here on the roster, but 2 of them are rookies. There is a total of 4 skills between these 5 players, with Krampus Lofton having half of them. There's more development that can happen here, for certain.
It seems that, thanks to some injuries, we're looking to pick up the best player available that isn't a Beast of Nurgle. It will certainly help to grab a player with a skillset favorable to the Stank theory of harassment.
Nobody truly towers over the others in the Lineman section, so it seems that a Rotter may be out of the question for now. We look next in the Skilled area for a Pestigor.
A few players are available here, offering a couple of ways to go forward. It would seem that the player that fits the scheme the best in this section would be Walter Zenga, with Wrestle, Dodge, and Strip Ball at 48 points.
A stroll through the severely depleted Strength category shows that only Steven Moore remains as a viable option for a Nurgle Warrior. It's a very nice pick though, as he comes with Block and Guard and 16 points. Young still, but two of the more important and desirable skills would already be in place.
That leaves us with the Blitzer category to search through. There is a candidate for harassment in Donte Whitner, coming with Dodge, Side Step, and Fend. He's also rather close to his next skill, carrying 47 points.
So, we have some good candidates to choose from, unlike the Republican Debate. The front office of Gnawleans decides on Ian Mason, a player out of Missouri. He's a true ball carrier, coming with Block, Dodge, Accurate, and Sure Hands with 60 points.
The folks at BSDN certainly don't hate the pick, but it doesn't seem to “fit”, so to speak. The squad prides itself on being versatile and annoying. Everyone seems to be well-rounded, having to play whatever role comes their way. It stands to reason then that all the Pestigors should have a fairly similar build across the board, allowing for anybody to have to handle the ball at any given time.
If the pick were to be a Pestigor for this squad, BSDN would have chosen Donte Whitner, as he fits the mold of the annoying road block perfectly.
We were of the mindset, however, that the player to pick up here would be Steven Moore to play as the fourth Nurgle Warrior. That particular position is harder to skill than most, as they typically rely on casualties to generate points. They're not reliable ball handlers, so touchdowns often elude them. Hiring a player with both Block and Guard already in place in a “skill unfriendly” position goes a long way in supporting everyone on the squad. This is the choice that BSDN would have made.
The choice is very intriguing, however. Gnawleans will now have a dedicated ball handler who could, in a pinch, distribute the ball. The players will all have to rally around Mason to keep that ball protected, which shouldn't be a problem for this team. He will also save a reroll or two each game, having Sure Hands in the repetoire.
It's not a GREAT pick, but it's good, and still has merit to it. It's just not the way that the network interpreted the draft.
WIPER JR: The big, burly dudes always seem to be harder to skill. They're always so busy raping faces that they sometimes forget about the spikey thing that bounces around from time to time. They figure to leave the ball for those that bother to pick it up.
Our 22nd pick this season belongs to one of the East Beasts... the Pox from the Fox(boro)... that team that has been destroying AFC East dreams for quite some time..
22. NEW ANGRYLAND
Race: Chaos Dwarf
Player Selected: Donte Whitner (Ohio)
Skillset: Dodge, Side Step, Fend – 47 points
Position: Chaos Dwarf Blocker
Grade of Pick: A+
WIPER JR: If you love the NBFL, you've undoubtedly heard of these guys. They've been around since the early days of the league, administering justice and fouls to all those who dare oppose them.
They had a rough patch a season or two ago, but it's great to see these guys where they belong; in the playoffs smacking opponents in the face. These guys don't shy away from anyone or anything, and that makes for an exciting franchise to watch and root for.
Let's take a look at their roster and see if we can recommend a player or two to help this squad out.
CDB: Yes. These guys are the heart and soul of the squad. Two of the boys now are rookies, so improvement is certainly possible here.
BULL CENTAUR: No. There are two beauties on the roster in Tom Bulldry and Steve Grogan. Despite his lack of speed, Bulldry is arguably the brightest star in all the NBFL. There won't be any need to seek improvement here.
HOBGOBLIN: Normally, the standard response is to say “sure, there's always room for the core”, but that may not be the case here. All 5 players employed have at least one skill. With the needs existing in other areas, this probably wouldn't be the first place I would look.
MINOTAUR: Based on the track record of coach licker, this position is not considered critical or of dire importance UNLESS there is a top-notch player available. They've only ever employed 3 players here in their storied history. This wouldn't be a place that New Angryland would draft unless he was within the top few picks. Chances are, this isn't the place they would look.
The answer here seems pretty obvious in that New Angryland needs a Chaos Dwarf Blocker. They qualify in both the Lineman and the Blitzer category, so we should have a moderately decent selection.
The former has a great amount of players coming out of college with Block, which won't really offer serious improvement for the Bulltrots. The Blitzer section, however, tells a different story.
Still waiting in the green room for a team to call home is Donte Whitner. He comes on board with Dodge, Side Step, and Fend, which is a BEAUTIFUL skillset for the position. He's also only 4 points away from picking up yet another useful skill, be it either Guard, Mighty Blow, or Stand Firm. It's a nice player, and a nice position that he puts the front office in. This selection is right up top for possibilities of “Pick of the Draft”.
CHEFCTER: I have to agree, Killy. Whitner can be that guy that jumps around to where he wants to go to stall the offensive drive, allowing time for guys like Willy McKillest to finish the job, so to speak. He's a very nice compliment to the current squad.
Our next team to discuss slid down a few picks, as they were scheduled to pick at 19. These guys are another bruising, no-nonsense squad that plays in the highly competitive AFC West.
23. UNDEADVER
Race: Necromantic
Player Selected: Steven Moore (California)
Skillset: Block, Guard – 16 points
Position: Flesh Golem
Grade of Pick: A
CHEFCTER: These guys play a mile high, yet strive to do most of their “business” 6 feet below. They're very good at what they do; they have to be, playing in what could be considered the most competitive divison in all of the NBFL. With perennial stand-outs San Dogo and Oakland in the division, these guys have to be on top of their game. They've managed to be in the conversation for the Playoffs, but last season came up just short.
Let's see how their current roster shakes down, and see if we can find them someone to add in the mix.
WEREWOLF: No. With Steve Maneater and Jordan Demogorgon on the squad, there won't be much improvement to be sought here. These guys are nice compliments to each other.
WIGHT: Nope. There's two beauties already here in Morgs Franklin and Major Wright. There won't be players available of their caliber this late in the draft proceedings.
FLESH GOLEM: Yes, this is a possibility. Undeadver currently employs Dan Ryan on the squad, but the other slot is currently held by a rookie. Drafting some help here would be beneficial to the squad.
GHOUL: Possible. There's room to improve over Demaryius Thomas, who only has Wrestle to his credit thus far. If there's a solid player available, this is a place to look.
ZOMBIE: Honestly, no. There's 6 players on the current roster, all of whom have at least one skill. Unless there was a specific need to address here, be it either a Kicker or another Dirty Player, this wouldn't be the first place I would look.
It seems to us that the best place to search would be for a Flesh Golem, and then perhaps a Ghoul. We first take a look at our greatest need, which lies in the Strength section.
There is only one available player remaining that would qualify in the person of Steven Moore. Luckily for Undeadver, his skillset is rather desirable for the position. It's a good feeling to have a Guard, Stand Firm player in the way of a few opponents with little hope of moving him. This happens to be a very good fit for the boys from Undeadver, and the front office wisely chooses him. Very good pick here.
WIPER JR: I'm inclined to agree, Stabby. It seems to us that drafting to improve a rookie always works out better than drafting to replace someone with a bit of experience. This selection should work out well for the club.
Our 24th pick this season belonged to the speedy, agile Champions of last season's NFC West.
24. SEATTLE.
Race: High Elf
Player Selected: Geraldo Orta (Tennessee)
Skillset: Block, Guard – 16 points
Position: LineElf
Grade of Pick: C+
WIPER JR: Congratulations go out to the Weed Gawks for “lighting up” the NFC West last season. They posted a lot of wins last season, as well as stealing a lot of opponent's pie. They've had their work cut out for them in the past, but will be twice as challenged going forward with the addition of another Skaven squad joining the ranks in San Francisco. It's going to be an exciting new landscape of competition in the division.
There were a few injuries late in the season for Seattle, but let's see how they're shaping up thus far.
DRAGON WARRIOR: Yes. With the departure late in the season of Jamoris Slaughter, a void was left that Rusself Wilsoon did his best to fill. He's still a Rookie, however, so this may be a good place to add some beef.
LION WARRIOR: Maybe. There are three already on the squad, with only one of them being a Rookie. Scoring depth on any Elf squad is always important, but with other needs to address, this may not be the first place I would look.
PHOENIX WARRIOR: Not really, no. With Keith Burythem on the squad, the ball-handling is in good hands. There really wouldn't be a need to try to add a 2nd player here, or try to improve.
LINEELF: With 8 players on the squad here, and only one being a Rookie, the players here are in pretty darn good shape. There's almost always room for improvement in the core, but in this case, it's not the first place I would look.
We've combed through the roster, and decided that we could really use a Dragon Warrior. After that, perhaps a skilled LineElf. As we breeze through the Blitzer section, we come across a beautiful candidate in Stephen Murphy, featuring Dodge, Tackle, and Diving Tackle. He compliments Dashani Skinkslayer very nicely, offering a 1-2 combination of harassing defensemen.
The front office, however, decides to go a different way, drafting Geraldo Otra, a LineElf out of Tennessee. He comes on board with Block and Guard, a nice skill set for a core player to have to be sure.
It seems to us at BSDN, however, that the play to make here would be to add, at the very least, another Tackler to the squad, given the influx of Skaven coming into the division. A player with both Tackle and Diving Tackle might prove to be a very useful weapon against them.
By drafting a Guard player, the team shows that it has a certain commitment to hitting and blocking, which Elves of any race tend to avoid, as they break easily. The addition of the double is appealing for a LineElf, but the appeal of Murphy and his skills going forward is just too great for us at BSDN to ignore.
In the end, we feel that the Dragon Warrior addition would have had a more immediate impact than adding a 3rd Guarding LineElf.
CHEFCTER: Folks, hang tight. When we come back, we'll be talking about another 4 teams, all of which are Playoff Perennials.
WIPER JR: And, in our next segment, we hope to answer a few of your Spitter questions sent in by fellow rabid fans of the NBFL.
CHEFCTER: That's absolutely right, Killy. Keep those questions flooding in! We'll answer as many as we can on the air! Stay tuned, fans! We'll be back after this short commercial break.
MCKILLEST: Hi fans, I'm Willie McKillest of the New Angryland Bulltrots.
I've brought the pain to over 100 opponents now. It helps to have an exclusive deal with someone who will care for those I've injured along the way....
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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Aug 18, 2015 - 01:29 |
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CHEFCTER: Folks, we're back! Hopefully, you're still tuned in to the Season 15 NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. I'm your host Stabbem Chefcter alongside my co-anchor and legendary horse whisperer, Mr. Kill Wiper Jr. How's it going, Killy?
WIPER JR: I'm well, Stabby. Looking forward to some more NBFL discussion. I think we have some Spitter questions to attend to first..
CHEFCTER: How right you are, Killy. We've invited you, the fans, to send us questions on the Social Network Spitter. We've been taking in questions from everyone, and would like to answer a bunch of them as we go, so without further ado, our first one is sent in from @Party_o'Panthers. His question reads: “When will you get Kill Wiper Jr. fired, and hire a new co-host? He's just so petty, spreads lies, his wife is a whore, he lures kids into the back of his van with promises of candy, he....” Killy, this just goes on and on for another 3 pages like this...
WIPER JR: I think we see how this is going to go already.....
CHEFCTER: Folks, I don't want him to go anywhere, as he's one of the top names in the NBFL for analysis.
WIPER JR: This next question comes to us from @KrakenDaSkullz. He wants to know “What are the chances of the Krakens next season, especially with a Rookie Chaos team entering the fray this season?”
CHEFCTER: Killy, I think you'll agree with me that Miami is going to figure prominently in the AFC East for quite a long time. They do have to play 2 games each season against the boys in New Angryland, which often turns into “must-see CV (Cabalvision)”. The AFC has really stepped up their game as of late, having been dominated for a few years by the NFC. These guys in Miami may have the right pieces in place now to make an appearance in the Bowl.
WIPER JR: I'm inclined to agree with you, Stabby. The Krakens are one of the elite teams in the Conference, up there with the likes of New Angryland, the teams in the AFC West, and the defending Super Bowl Champion Bludgeoners. Health will play a big factor in how far they go this season. The Coaching is already in place, as well as quite a bit of talent to work with. In short, it's a great time to be a Krakens fan.
CHEFCTER: Another question comes to us from @Pactical_Maneuvers. He wants to know “why the heck did you guys trash the Jacksonville coach so bad?”
WIPER JR: I don't even know how to respond to that... I guess, if your team would play better, and draft better, we'd interview you later and better.
CHEFCTER: Keep those questions coming in, sports fans! We'll answer a few more of them as we go! For now, let's head back to the draft board!
Our next squad were the Champions of the NFC South last season, once again turning in an outstanding effort.
25. CAROLINA
Race: Elf
Player Selected: Rondon Bibbs (Missouri)
Skillset: Block, Dodge, Side Step, Dump-Off – 64 points
Position: Thrower
Grade of Pick: A+
CHEFCTER: Congratulations once again to the Black Panther Party for taking home the NFC South crown. These guys are dynamic. They take a LOT of hits. They break easily. They nurse a lot of wounds. Be assured though... make one mistake with the ball and they are off to the races. These guys are the epitome of turning errors into points.
A lot of their core players are coming back for another season of mayhem. Let's see where the holes in their roster are, and look to draft them a bit of help.
BLITZER: Not necessary. The presence of Capain Munnerlyn and Richard Rodgersss will anchor this squad for quite some time. This is not the place to look for improvement.
CATCHER: No. The receiving core on this squad is top-notch. There isn't a team in the NBFL who can go toe to toe with this receiving foursome. This isn't the place to seek improvement.
THROWER: Yes. There are two boys on the squad at the time, but they are both pure Rookies. A ball distributor would be an excellent advantage to this squad. This would be a place to improve.
LINEELF: Yes. There are some good, quality players here such as Kony Ealy, Farmette Danica, and Francie Alexander. It wouldn't hurt to add another skilled player here, though admittedly, it's not the first place I would look at.
It seems rather obvious to all the world that the most improvement would be found with a Thrower. After that, we're looking for a LineElf. Let's see who is a available in the Skilled section.
We all know that we are seeking a ball handler and distributor. A very quick look-through yields a tailor-made player for Carolina in the likes of Rondon Gibbs. His skill set just seems to be an ideal fit for the scheme that the Panther Party employs.
Head Coach Jeffro wisely selects Gibbs, solidifying his ball handling duties in the backfield. This is an absolutely beautiful match for the squad, especially being this late in the draft.
WIPER JR: I couldn't agree more, Stabby. The idea of these guys getting to play “keep-away” with their Nerves Of Steel skill combined with a Dump-Off player makes it extremely difficult to track down a ball, not to mention an Elf Catcher (or a newly-drafted Thrower for that matter...)
Great pick-up by Carolina.
Our next squad is yet another Playoff Perennial. These guys are constantly fighting back and forth for the top spot in the heated NFC West.
26. OAKLAND
Race: Dark Elf
Player Selected: Stephen Murphy (Missouri)
Skillset: Dodge, Tackle, Diving Tackle – 36 points
Position: Blitzer
Grade of Pick: A+
WIPER JR: The Elf Raiders are the epitome of a successful NBFL franchise. They have great coaching. They build quality players from their farm system. Despite all the injury obstacles they endure year after year, they only know how to win. They are an inspiration to aspiring minor-league franchises everywhere.
That being said, injuries DO hamper their abilities. They can be overcome, but eventually, they DO have to be replaced. Players for a Dark Elf squad rarely sign for league minimums; they're expensive to keep, and expensive to replace. That's why their draft choices are of utmost importance.
Let's take a look at how their current roster appears, and offer some help.
BLITZER: Perhaps, yes. There are two of the old stalwarts remaining in Kendricks and Matt Ashmead. They're quite good. The other two players are young in comparison, making this position a possibility to upgrade at.
RUNNER: No. The two players here, Justin Zipp and Maurice Jones-Drew are both very experienced, and still in their prime. This is not the best place to look for an upgrade.
WITCH ELF: Maybe. They are permitted to employ two, but only have Shomee Yercock on the squad right now. She's a dandy though. She could use a bit of help, but this may not be the first place to seek.
ASSASSIN: In all likelihood, no. In the 247 game history of this storied franchise, they have only ever employed 1 Assassin, who was on the squad for 26 games; roughly 10% of the team's total matches. Given their history, this is not a place we would consider to upgrade.
LINEELF: You bet. Good Lineelfs can be worth their weight in gold to a Dark Elf squad. This would also be a good place to seek improvement, as Oakland currently has 2 Rookies out of their 5 players here.
It appears that we should be first considering a Blitzer. If we're unable to find a good one, we should consider drafting a LineElf, as it seems to be a more pressing need than adding a second Witch Elf. Let's see what's available in the Blitzer section.
There isn't a terrible amount of eligible players remaining in the Blitzer pool. Thankfully, Coach ex-convict doesn't have to search very far for the player he needs. It seems that the player that can really help them has fallen right in their lap in the likes of Stephen Murphy. He seems to be tailor-made to play as a Dark Elf Blitzer, coming out of college with Dodge, Tackle and Diving Tackle. He's a great compliment to the two old-timers on the squad, as well as a far more difficult player to elude.
The front office realizes the gift they have in front of them, and takes full advantage. It's a win-win pick for the Elf Raiders. Great choice.
CHEFCTER: Killy, you think that there were some errors in the top half of the draft to have such talented players falling this far to the teams that can capitalize on them the most?
WIPER JR: Well Stabby, it may appear that way on the surface, but it's not always the case. Many of the squads are approaching the draft in hopes of finding a player to help them win right now. Some coaches build for the long term, with not as much concern about their immediate needs. Others still just draft players out of the blue that don't seem to help the grand scheme, just like Jacksonville. The fact of the matter may very well be that teams earlier in the draft had specific, certain needs to address. Let's not forget. The teams at the top of the draft are not necessarliy drafting slouches. That's a testament to how deep this draft is in talent, regardless of how shallow the Strength section has been two years running.
CHEFCTER: Well said, Killy.
Our next team is the defendng AFC West Champion, having qualified as the number 2 seed in last season's playoffs, having lost to the eventual Super Bowl Champions.
27. SAN DOGO
Race: Human
Player Selected: Cory Beebles (Oregon... surprise surprise...)
Skillset: Guard, Wrestle – 23 points
Position: Lineman
Grade of Pick: A
CHEFCTER: Congratulations once again to Coach Kryten and the Chompers for their first place finish in the highly competitive AFC West. This team may not be flashy. These guys might not be sexy to look at or talk about. They don't care; all they do is punch their ticket, year after year, in the AFC Playoff scenario.
Injuries, player strikes, NBFL sanctions, not a thing can stop these guys from winning. Year after year, there they are at the end of the season as one of those teams with a chance at the prize.
Let us see how this roster shakes down, and hopefully see what can be drafted for the most amount of help.
BLITZER: Yes. They are permitted to have 4, but currently have a Rookie, a youngster, and the legendary Karst Hadl on the squad. This is certainly an area that can see improvement.
THROWER: No. Somehow, year after year, we find it amazing that the venerable Ryan Leaf stays alive. Truth be told, he's a beautiful player, with 137 total spp's in ball distribution. That's serious production at the position, so there's no need to seek improvement here.
CATCHER: Probably not, no. With Helen Imaman and Chris Growlkowski on the squad, there seems to be little reason to seek improvement here.
OGRE: Yes.... and no. It seems that the Chompers may be cursed when it comes to employing a Big Guy. They've had only 4 players here for a total of 19 games in their 187-game franchise history. That's roughly 9% of their total games. It is an area of need, but given their previous history, it may be wise to steer clear here.
LINEMAN: Yes. 6 players are currently employed, with fully half of them being Rookies. This is also an area of need.
It's beginning to look like we have a decent amount of needs to address, first of which would be a Blitzer. After that, we'd really have to consider drafting an Ogre.
Looking through the Blitzer section, we can see how popular it has been. With only two players remaining here, our best selection would be Mephisto Warzeka out of Air Force. Having a skillset of Diving Tackle and Stand Firm is not the most useful for this squad. The front office decides that, despite its need for a Blitzer, it needs to look further down the road.
The next place we decide to look is an Ogre. Once again, the front office here experiences some disappointment, as there isn't a single player remaining in the Big Guy section.
That leaves us searching for a quality Lineman, which certainly isn't the worst thing in the world. They realize that they're going to need a solid supporting style player here, and come up with Cory Beebles, a Wrestle, Guard player out of Oregon. He's one of two players remaining with Guard, and the one with the higher potential. It's an excellent pick by one of the league's more savvy coaches, and on the surface, appears to be exactly what they were looking for.
WIPER JR: These NBFL coaches are the tops out there, Stabby. They have back-up plans for their back-up plans. It shows you how in touch they are with both the draft class as a whole, and their team's needs. Coach Kryten may very well have drafted what would have amounted to his 4th or 5th pick on his draft board, and still came away with a player that will benefit his team going forward.
Our 28th pick this season is a former NBFL Champion, and mutli-time champion of the NFC North.
28. GREEN BALL.
Race: Slann
Player Selected: Walter Zenga (Oregon)
Skillset: Dodge, Wrestle, Strip Ball – 48 points
Position: Catcher
Grade of Pick: A
WIPER JR: It comes as no surprise to those of us at BSDN that Green Ball was the Champion of the NFC North. This isn't to diminish the other teams in the division; it's more a testament to head coach happygrue, as with the NFC improving year after year, Green Ball finds new ways to win.
Their consistency has to do with good coaching, and a solid core of players, which we'll go over now.
KROXIGOR: This position is held firmly by Clay Matthews. He's a nice front-liner for the Attackers.
BLITZER: Possibly. There are 3 very good players already here, but a 4th player certainly wouldn't hurt. Sooner or later, even the legendary Charles Woodson is going to need some help.
CATCHER: Yes. This is definitely an area that should be addressed, as there isn't a single player remaining on the squad to play the position.
LINEMAN: Possibly, yes. With 7 players on the squad, 3 of them are outright Rookies. It's certainly a place where improvement can be made.
It sure seems like we need a Catcher first, with a Blitzer finishing a distant second. If no one is available for those two positions, a Lineman would be the way to go.
Looking through the Skilled section, we come across a spectacular player for the team in Walter Zenga. Based on the position he will be playing, he has a beautiful set of skills for Green Ball. Protecting the ball for opposing teams may have gotten a bit harder to do, now that the team has a Strip Ball, Wrestle player who can Leap into the opposing ball cage. Zenga makes it much harder to find a “safe” place to put the ball on the offensive series. This is a gift from Nuffle to have Zenga fall down to 28 for Green Ball to take.
CHEFCTER: Folks, stay tuned. We're up to last year's Conference Championship game losers in our next segment. You won't want to miss what we have to say!
WIPER JR: And also, we'll continue to take some more questions from fans on the Social Media network Spitter.
CHEFCTER: So don't change that dial, fans! We'll be back after a short commercial break!
EMISCHEN: I'm Tyler Emischen, Blitzer for the Tennessee Titanz.
Coach Arktoris doesn't allow us to drink, so we really enjoy a cold beverage to go with our dinner of opponent's flesh...
Get some today! |
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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| Posted:
Aug 20, 2015 - 02:29 |
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CHEFCTER: We're back, NBFL fans. You're watching the Season 15 NBFL Draft Review and Analysis Show. I'm your host Stabbem Chefcter sitting alongside my partner and clamming afficianado, Mr. Kill Wiper Jr. How's it going, Killy?
WIPER JR: Just fine, Stabby. Can't wait to get my feet wet out in the Sound later, doing some clammin'
CHEFCTER: Sounds relaxing, Killy.
WIPER JR: The feel of the water around you. No usual background noise. The entire atmosphere is just so calming. You should check it out with me later, Stabby.
CHEFCTER: That sounds fine to me, Killy. But first, we have a few more teams to discuss, as well as a few more questions that were Spit at us by some fans.
WIPER JR: That's right, fans. We're going to take a few more questions that you've sent in from the social media network Spitter. Why don't you fire the first one at us here, Stabby?
CHEFCTER: You got it, Killy. This first one comes to us from @CarolinaCatz. His question is: Since your co-host is named “Wiper”, don't you think he just stick to wiping other people's butts, because he's nothing but an as........
WIPER JR: Whoa whoa whoa, Stabby. Best to just stop it right there.
CHEFCTER: I see what you mean, Killy. This guy goes on for what I would dare say is.... quite a while.
WIPER JR: How about this question coming to us from @I'mHerExConvict. He wants to know how we see the AFC shaping up this season?
CHEFCTER: I'll take the first two divisions of this. In the AFC East, I see Miami duking it out to the very end with New Angryland. Buffalo may struggle in their first year. That leaves the enigma that is Noo Yohrk. They certainly have the front line to compete, but their Snotlings will be their undoing. In the end, it's a coin flip between the two power houses for the division.
As for the AFC North, the defending champion Bludgeoners reside here, and are in a good position to repeat their success in the division. I wouldn't put it past Pittsburgh to throw their hat back into the Divisional ring this season. What are your thoughts on the other two divisions, Killy?
WIPER JR: Well, I'll start with the AFC West. I may go out on a limb here, but I can certainly see the boys from Undeadver finishing atop the Division this season. I would suspect that one of the remaining two dominant teams, either Oakland or San Dogo will finish as a Wild Card. You could quite possibly see both of these teams be the Wild Card entrants, as the difference between these teams is very slim. We welcome the new squad in Keggie City, but we suspect them to struggle out of the gate.
As for the AFC South, there are two teams that are top notch in Indianapolis and Tennessee. Whichever of these two teams can survive the injury bug will prevail, though I don't see this division being strong enough YET to send two members to the Playoffs. The Hexans are building a very nice squad, and may still be a year away. And then, there's the squalid hellhole; that complete dumpster fire that is Jacksonville.... We fully expect them to finish at the bottom of the AFC, even below the Rookie squads.
CHEFCTER: Here's our next question, sent in by @PactsonPollack. He asks “what's with all the Jacksonville hate? Why do you guys rag on them so much?
WIPER JR: Well, this one's easy. They've simply not come together as a team yet. We don't have anything personal against anybody in the organization, as I'm sure they're all very nice individuals. They haven't found a team identity as of yet, and their results reflect this. It just seems that they can't catch a break, as well as having a below-average head coach.
CHEFCTER: We'll take a few more questions in our remaining segments, but for now, let's talk about a few more teams.
This next squad fell short in last season's NFC Championship game, losing to their heated division rivals.
29. PHILHALA
Race: Norseman
Player Selected: Ryan Season (Connecticut)
Skillset: Block, Guard – 16/6 points
Position: Lineman
Grade of Pick: A
CHEFCTER: These former NBFL Champions are VERY close to being on top of the hill again.They have a very talented core of players, as well as a top-notch Head Coach in Relezite. It was a great regular season, but tempered by losing out on the Super Bowl bid to a division rival in the Giant Leeches.
This team has a great chemistry. The players are disciplined and well-trained. The versatility of the team is quite good. Let's see if there's any help that can be added to this well-oiled machine.
SNOW TROLL: No need to look here. They have one of the best in the business on the squad in the likes of Thorlakr Thorgeirson. If and when he gets a hold of you, there's trouble coming your way..
BERSERKER: No. There are two beauties on the team in Bjalfi Bjornolfson and Thidrandi Vesteinson. There won't be any improvement to seek here.
ULFWERENER: No. The two boys on the squad here are quite good. There's no need to try to improve these guys.
RUNNER: Yes. They only have 1 youngster on the squad, but he's quite effective. It wouldn't hurt to have a second player that can acquie Agility skills on the roster for those emergency scenarios. This could be a place to add some depth to the roster.
THROWER: I wouldn't think so, no. There is one of the premiere quarterbacks of the NBFL present in Cucaracha Petterflet. He's a dreamy player, daftly distributing the ball anywhere and everywhere with little difficulty. Yes, they would be permitted to employ a 2nd player at this position, but it seems to make less sense, as a Thrower will primarily see Offensive time. It doesn't seem to serve the best interests of the team to have two players at this position on the pitch at the same time.
LINEMAN: Yes, but possibly not first place we'd look. There's 5 boys here on the squad, one of which being the sensastional Chris Harison. He has some nice help around him, but some more support wouldn't be the worst thing.
It appears that there really aren't “great” needs that need to be addressed, which is an enviable position to be in. If we are looking to add some depth or strength somewhere, we'd probably first look at a Runner or perhaps a Lineman.
Looking through the Skilled section, there are a few fairly decent players to choose from. The lead candidate would in all likelihood be Ichebei Abukara, coming on board with Catch, Side Step, and Sprint, with 45 points.
Let's also go surfing through the Lineman section. A player with Guard would be optimal here, to allow the hitting squad to be that much more effective at its job. There happens to be a player left with the skill in Ryan Season, though he would be facing a point reduction.
The front office weighs the pros and cons, and elects to draft Season over a 2nd Catcher, despite being more skilled. Was this the better pick to make?
We here at BSDN couldn't agree with this pick more. Here's why.
Catchers tend to be a more independent position. They don't really require a lot of support or help to function or perform their tasks. That would be the case with Abukara here. You'd want him to be awaiting a ball, and have the support around him shield him in for the score. It's not a very team-oriented scenario for him.
By drafting Season, the entire team gets support. Adding a Guard allows the Berserkers and the Ulfwereners to perform their jobs more easily. There's not as much worry about an unwanted 2d block turning into 1d with a lack of Guard.
This kind of insight into a team's inner workings is why the Arni finishes at or near the top every season. This is a great choice.
WIPER JR: This pick could be lectured about for quite some time about the intricacies of having to face a point reduction, and weighing that against the benefit of a skilled Catcher on the squad. The bottom line of it for me is easy. Season makes the entire squad function more efficiently, whereas Abukara affects only one aspect of the game. The whole squad improves with the addition of a Guard player.
Folks, our 30th pick from this draft fell short in the AFC Championship game, losing to the eventual Champions of Season 14...
30. MIAMI
Race: Chaos Pact
Player Selected: Coyolxauhqui (Slam Diego State)
Skillset: Block, Kick, Tackle – 43 points
Position: Goblin
Grade of Pick: B
WIPER JR: We'd like to congratulate the Krakens on their previous success, and wish them nothing but the best in their many future AFC Playoff appearances. They're doing Chaos Pact the right away, unlike certain other wanna-be franchises...
This team is great NOW. These guys could have a prolonged, dynasty-esque type of Playoff career. They have some bonafide stars on the squad, so there really isn't all that much that they're in need of. Let's take a look at some of the highlights of their roster now.
BIG GUY. We'll put them all into this category for ease of discussion. Leading the way in the front line is Chaos Ogre Bud-O-Shwek. The tandem of him and Chaos Troll Michael Von Bargen could be considered the best 1-2 punch quite possibly in the history of the NBFL. We also have a younger Minotaur in the likes of Shliz Likker. He's up and coming yet, so unless there was a well-seasoned player available in the draft, there's no improving on these guys.
DARK ELF RENEGADE: A slight possibility. Nat Moore is their ball-handler, and he's decent. If there was a player with a bit more skill out there, perhaps a Blodger, it may offer a slight improvement. This is honestly not the first place that I would look, but there is a slight chance of improvement here.
GOBLIN RENEGADE: Possible. If there's a solid player that is available, it may be worth upgrading the position. The nice part about this is the position is permitted to be drafted from the Lineman section, which offers a great deal more in possibilities. This could be an idea.
SKAVEN RENEGADE: Possible. Miami currently employs Rod Tidwell at the position. He's young, so there's certainly room for improvement here, depending on how the position is used by Head Coach Bullroarer4.
MARAUDER: Also a possibility. There's only 6 on the squad at the moment, so if there's a decent player available here, it's worth an investment.
Let's face it. This team is pretty loaded as it is currently comprised. This is a great situation to be sitting in, albeit a loss in the Conference Championship. This is honestly a great place to just grab the best player available, and plug him in to an already well-oiled machine. Let's see what we come up with.
Looking through everybody that remains in the draft pool, we come up with 3 suitable possibilities:
John Cole (Vampirebilt) – Block, Tackle, Strip Ball – 31 points
Tim Beelzebuberson (Air Force) – Block, Leader, Kick – 34 points.
Coyolxauhqui (Slam Diego St) – Block, Kick, Tackle – 43 points
Our 3 candidates all have Block in common. That part is obvious. Here's where the directions veer off. Based on these three players being the “best available” in our minds, we felt it easy to eliminate a Dark Elf Renegade from our discussion, as none of these 3 players fits that position.
The front office took a look at the same list we have in front of us, and selected Coyolxauhqui, and assigned him to fill the Goblin Renegade role. We here at BSDN like this pick, as the team was lacking a positional Kicker. They are under-valued in all of Blood Bowl. They allow for a great starting advantage. The ability to pin an opponent way in the backfield, or even bring them right up front to the scrimmage line where you want them is nothing to take for granted.
This skillset does indeed outweigh the other players' skill combinations, especially for the Goblin Renegade position. They afford him a few skills that he normally would not have access to. It's a decent pick for a club that really didn't have an enormous need to fill. He should blend in nicely.
CHEFCTER: Well folks, two teams left that we've yet to discuss, plus a few Compensatory Picks to discuss. Stick with us, sports fans! We will be back after a short break.
WIPER JR: And also in our next segment, some more of your empassioned Spitter questions. Hopefully we're done with ones about Jacksonville or me losing my job...
CHEFCTER: Last season's Super Bowl competitors in our next segment! Stay tuned! |
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Apojar
Joined: Aug 05, 2006
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Sep 13, 2015 - 03:07 |
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CHEFCTER: Howdy folks! It's been a bit of a longer break than usual, which we would like to apologize for. You're tuned in to the NBFL Season 15 Draft Review and Analysis Show. As is customary, I'm your host Stabbem Chefcter sitting alongside my co-host and street rod enthusiast Mr. Kill Wiper Jr. How's it going, Killy?
WIPER JR: I'm well, Stabby, thank you. I'm anxious to dive into our remaining teams here, as we're near last season's cream of the crop.
CHEFCTER: How right you are, my friend. We've made it through our first 30 teams, which means we're up to our Super Bowl competitors from Season 14. These two teams provided us with some exciting moments throughout last season, culminating in an epic showdown to determine the Champion. Now that the dust has settled, how did they do with preparing to move forward?
WIPER JR: We would also like to take a few more Spitter questions that you fans have been sending us. We're going to start with this question from @PuttinOnTheRitzi. He wants to know how we think the NFC North is going to look come playoff time.
CHEFCTER: We should probably talk about all of our predictions for the NFC. I'll start with the NFC East. This has honestly become one of the most exiting, interesting divisions in all the NBFL. You have the supremely agile squads in both Weaklington and Dallas. On the other side of the street, you have the ferocity of playoff perennials Philhala and New York. It may be a bit early on for Weaklington to shine, but don't be surprised to see Dallas make their case this season for a Playoff position. In the end, I see the boys from Philhala sailing on into the Playoffs, but there could very well be a Wild Card coming from this division.
WIPER JR: I'll follow up with the NFC North predictions. It's no secret that the NFC has been dominated in recent seasons by the Green Ball Attackers. They have a great coach, and top notch talent in their ranks. I'm not entirely certain, however, that they'll have everything it will take to deny the boys in Detroilet from making it into the Playoff picture. We also have two dynamically physical squads in the division in Minnesota and Chicago. Health has taken its toll on ritzi's bunch up north, but if they can manage to get their Regeneration squared away, they've got some impact players to get it done. Also, don't sleep on the Windy City boys this season. It's true that Chicago had the number 1 overall pick this draft, but they've got a great core of players that can do some serious damage. At the end of the day, I have to go with my gut and say that Green Ball will be coming out of the war with their flag raised high once again.
CHEFCTER: We shift gears now to the NFC South, with its beautifully diverse array of teams. You can easy label 3 of these teams as perennials, top-flight, or powerhouses. Carolina has been the squad enjoying most of the success as of late. Good coaching, great players... it makes for a very simple formula of “score and win”, which they've obviously mastered. This year, however, I'm predicting the “tour de force” return of Atlatl, as they've been stewing for a few sesaons now. They've got the talent, and may have picked up the steal of the draft to anchor their front line.
All this doesn't even mention the third set of monsters in the mix in Gnawleans. They are one of the most difficult teams in all the NBFL to face. We also see the newcomers in the ladies of Tampa Bay. It might be a bit difficult to gain a ton of ground at first for them, but we've no doubt that they'll have an impact in the division. If I had to pick a winner, I'm going with both Atlatl and Carolina to make the playoffs, with the former taking the division crown.
WIPER JR: That leaves me to bring you the NFC West. Last season saw the Weed Gawks take home the division, only to fall short in their Playoff run. The division welcomes the new San Francisco squad, which garners a groan from the other coaches as no one relishes having to face more rats every season.... Speaking of rats, Arizona continues to build and impress for a soon-to-be deep playoff appearance. The “odd man out” in the division is Insane-Louis, by which we mean the only non-agility-focused squad. These boys are, in my opinion, the exciting up-and-coming squad. They can hit, they can play defense. They have the coaching to play effectively against the pass-mongers that are in this division. In the end, people may feel as though I'm going out on a limb with this prediction, but I am foreseeing great things for the Goats this year, with them making their first Playoff appearance.
CHEFCTER: Who are your Wild Card picks for the upcoming season, Killy?
WIPER JR: This could be the most heated race that we've seen. Me personally? I have the Giant Leeches winning the East, Green Ball winning the North, Carolina winning the South despite their Head Coach's dire hatred of me, and Insane-Louis winning the West. That leaves me with choosing Philhala to qualify from the East, and my final choice is Atlatl to qualify from the South. How about you, Stabby?
CHEFCTER: I have Philhala winning the East. We agree on Green Ball winning the North. From the South, I think the divison winner is going to be Atlatl. In the West, I'm still a big believer in what Seattle is doing. As for the Wild Card positions, I'm seeing the Giant Leeches qualifying out of the North. The final position will be claimed, in my opinion, by the Sewer Lions.
WIPER JR: Quite interesting, Stabby. I do like what Detroilet brings to the table. I could absolutely see that happening.
CHEFCTER: Our next Spitter question comes to us from @PantherzOnDaGround. He wants to ask, “The only thing that “Spill Wiper Jr” is good for is wiping up after I spill my seed all over his wife's stomach”
WIPER JR: How many different Spitter accounts does that fooking guy have?!? For crying out loud....
CHEFCTER: How about this one, which comes to us from @JagsawPuzzle. He wants to ask if the Pactuars have any hopes of finishing over .500 this season, or what we see them finishing at?
WIPER JR: Look, I've been rather negative about this squad, and in all fairness, it's been with good reason. They showed the NBFL absolutely nothing last season. They were very slow to grow and skill. Their game equalizers are Tim Fugger and Chris Killer. Their top draft pick last season, Foster, under-achieved by a large amount. He came around toward the end of the season, to be fair, but his incredibly slow start doomed him to be considered a let-down. We are expecting to see a bit more this season with the addition of Charles Folger to the club. There is nothing I would like more than to see these guys competing for the AFC South title, but to be perfectly honest, I think that may still be a year or two away.
CHEFCTER: Nicely said, Killy.
WIPER JR: Another Spitter question coming at you, Stabby. This one is from @BlitzInPitts. He wants to know what Pittsburgh is missing to put them over the top and into the Playoffs.
CHEFCTER: Luck? A bit more health and luck? They have a solid core of Chaos Dwarf Blockers. They have a top-level Minotaur. They have two excellent Bull Centaurs. Some of the Hobgoblins are younger, but they're all of a very similar, one-track mind of mayhem and pain. Don't count these guys out of a run at the divison title. They've been there before, and surely know what to do when they get there.
WIPER JR: I think it's easiest to say that, though we do enjoy these teams that have been enjoying prolonged, significant success, we all prefer to see a rotation of teams rising and falling, so everyone pursues a chance at the Championship.
CHEFCTER: I would say we all agree with that idea. Let's talk about our last two squads in this past year's draft.
Squad 31 was our Super Bowl runner-up. They were proud to make their first appearance in the Championship match, only to fall short to a ferocious opponent. When you talk about a team that scratches and bites its way to the top, this is the team you should think of..
31. NEW YORK GIANT LEECHES
Race: Vampire
Player Selected: Darkwood Dickson (Texas S&M)
Skillset: Block, Dodge – 29 points
Position: Thrall
Grade of Pick: A-
CHEFCTER: If you had said to me at the beginning of last season that it wasn't going to be either Philhala or Green Ball as the NFC Champion, I may have completely disowned you. Boy, am I glad to be wrong. What an exciting and fun team this is to watch! Two legendary Vampires on the squad, with two rising starts on the way. This team also has ELITE coaching in The_Provocateur. Congratulations go to him, his players, and the entire franchise for a wonderful Season 14.
Let's take a peek at the roster at the end of the season, to see where we need to add some talent, depth, or improvement.
VAMPIRE: Probably not. There's considerable risks with playing more than 4 at a time on the pitch. The system has worked so very well thus far with 4, so why tinker with the system?
THRALL: Very much so, sure. This is the only other option, but it comes with somewhat of a caveat: this franchise has always subscribed to the “all Thralls are biteable” theory. Any investements in this position have the potential to be far more easily disposed of, whether it be from a boot, a block, or a bite from his own team.
If we were to choose a player at this position, it would have to be in one of two modes of thought. The first would be to draft a useful player, with the complete understanding that “he's going to be a short-term player, as he's quite simply going to die”, OR the staff will have to draft a player and exempt him from being bitten, and hope he can survive. This latter choice is far less desirable, as it's so much harder to “work around” a player of that nature...
It's going to be a Thrall. We're positive about that. Let's see what's out there and available that may give the most helping hand possible.
Looking through the Linemen section, there are a number of fairly good players available this late in the draft. One thing that the squad already has is a Kicker, so we can avoid that skill.
There's just a wide array of paths to choose from; be it offensive, a bit defensive, or even playing a bit under-handed and Dirty. The staff looks over the choices, and selects a player that is a bit harder than the normal Thrall to deal with. Darkwood Dickson comes on board needing only 2 points for a new skill, but having Blodge. It's a fairly nice skillset to have for a support player, and a good pick up to draft this late.
WIPER JR: I'm more in favor of this pick than I was at first. I had really wanted to see a Dirty Player come on to the squad, perhaps in the way of drafting Julian Crockett or even Rueben Robinson. It took a few moments of thinking on it to make me realize that this was not the way to go.
If the front office wanted a Dirty Player on the roster, they should develop a Rookie with the skill, instead of investing a draft pick on a 2 or 3-skilled player that has it. His presence on the pitch is tedious at best, as one never knows when the Referee will give him the stink eye. Why then would you use your only draft pick on this type of player?
Believe me, I still want to see a Dirty Player on the squad, but not at the expense of a club's only draft pick for the season. New York is best served picking up a more functional player here, and they certainly do so in Dickson.
There isn't nearly as big a need to draft a player with Block, or even a Tackler, as that is what the Vampires do. For the Thralls, simplicity is the best formula.
Folks, we've arrived at that point. We're finally able to discuss our reigning Super Bowl Champions from Season 14. All laud, honor, and congratulations go to...
32. CINCINNATI.
Race: Nurgle
Player Selected: Herman McCockroach (South Florida)
Skllset: Dodge, Tackle – 28 points
Position: Rotter
Grade of Pick: A
WIPER JR: A big round of props go out to the Bludgeoners and Head Coach Sutherlands for their amazing run to the top of the mountain. This is the first squad from this great city to make it to the Promised Land. And what better team to win it all than a no-nonsense, no-deception, smack-you-in-the face Nurgle squad? They're rather persuasive when asking players to transfer to Cincinnati, if you catch my drift...
The beauty of this team is that the core positional players, for the most part, remains in tact. They have the all-world ball handler in Barry Leegle. They have a top notch front line of Nurgle Warriors. Their Pestigors are dynamic, impact style players. Throw in a stud Beast of Nurgle, and you've got the makings of.... well... a Championship-caliber team.
There's always room for improvement though. I think without going through a full roster break-down, and realizing that we're at the final "main" pick of the draft, we pretty well know that we're not drafting for a positional. We'll save you fans the trouble of dissecting the roster for, as we previously stated, there's not much improvement in the core that is required.
We'll begin our search then for a quality Rotter. As it stands, we only have 2 players here with any formal experience. They both employ the Dirty Player skill, as well as having a Kicker in the mix. It seems we have the somewhat important skills covered, here, so we're looking for the best player available.
A quick scan through the draft room nets a solid choice in Herman McCockroach, coming with Dodge and Tackle on board, and 28 points. He's not the player with the most points remaining, but he's close to his 3rd skill, and has a rather functional double in his repertoire.
Don't get me wrong: Tackle is a highly useful skill, especially on a Lineman section player. It's a nice luxury to have. Coming with Dodge, however, makes him much more attractive. There really isn't an enormous amount of responsibilities that the Rotter position is required to do. McCockroach adds a bit extra versatility, as well as durability. He really is a nice player for this squad. A quality draft pick for the Champions of the NBFL.
CHEFCTER: Well folks, we've made it all the way through the 32 squads this season. All that is left for us to do is wrap up our impressions, as well as discuss some of the Compensatory Picks for the younger clubs.
WIPER JR: So hang in there, folks! We have one segment left of discussing your favorite teams, as well as another Spitter question or two. Hopefully, we'll answer one or two that aren't from a certain coaching staff in Carolina...
CHEFCTER: Don't leave us just yet, fans! We'll be back after our final commercial break! |
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