Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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 Posted:
Dec 10, 2023 - 05:51 |
 
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| Nelphine wrote: | The playoffs are set! And with that, we get a prediction!
In the NFC we see:
New York Kroaks (may as well be an elf)
Clampa Bay Robotineers (B)
Manglesota L'ycans (?????)
Szeattle Scimitars (elf)
Witchington Commies (elf)
Mean Fae Quackers (elf)
ChicagOrkz Borkz (B)
In the AFC:
Houston Treants (elf)
Las Vegas Evaders (elf)
No-Skincinatti Bungles (B)
Brew More Gents (B)
Tijuana Charros (this team will forever be an elf to me)
Buffalo Chill (B, and also elf)
Baltimore Nevermores (B)
So the first thing you'll notice is that there are only 2 ways to get into the playoffs.
You must either be an elf
OR
No this is NOT bash teams... Your team name must have at least one word that starts with a B!
Or be Lorebass. He does everything wrong anyway, no need to get into the playoffs correctly either.
Next up! Predictions!
In the NFC, wild card round:
Kroaks move on.
Clampa vs Borks. Orcs outbash humans, humans outrun orcs... except not these orcs who are almost faster than the humans! Borks move on.
Lycans vs Mean Fae. Fatality. Grue wins. But is smashed in the process.
Szeattle vs Witchington. Dark Elf madness, but, I have to vote for me. Szeattle moves on.
Divisional round:
Kroaks vs Borks. Borks literally are faster, and still hit harder and swamp the frogs with guard. Borks move on.
Szeattle vs Mean Fae. Mean Fae got Manglesota'd, and Szeattle takes advantage. Szeattle moves on
Conference title:
Szeattle vs Borks. I really really want to vote for Szeattle, but when you cant outrun orcs, I vote orcs.
Borks take the conference.
AFC:
Wildcard round:
Houston moves on.
Evaders vs Baltimore. Elves run circles around Khorne, but Khorne is out for blood, and they get buckets. Baltimore moves on.
Bungles vs Buffalo. Everything is coming up skulls. These teams have so many failures between them, but the Bungles are built for failing, and fail into a win. Bungles move on.
Brew More vs Tijuana. Tijuana is a mad power house, and rip up the Gents. Tijuana move on.
Divisional round:
Houston vs Baltimore. The Khorne blood runs dry. Houston moves on.
Bungles vs Tijuana. Bungles failure can't outdo the gross elvish Charrros. Tijuana moves on.
Conference title:
Houston vs Tijuana. Tentacles, guard, and foul appearance. Not even Stan can overcome this.
Tijuana take the conference.
Superbowl:
Borks against Tijuana. Finally, an opponent that doesn't try to outrun the cursed orcs. And they have can openers.
Tijuana takes the superbowl. |
Welp, in the AFC Wildcard round we went ...
1 out of 3. Dismal.
Oh well!
The divisional round has formed:
Houston Treants (2620k tv) vs Brew More Gents (1735k +70k tv)
Las Vegas Evaders (2010k tv) vs No-Skincinnati Bungles (2120k +40k tv)
Conveniently, this is a perfect...
Elf vs B
Elf vs B
Houston goes into this having had the bye. Las Vegas on the other hand, faced an extremely deadly Khor... wait. They didn't take ANY DAMAGE?
Welp, both Elf teams come in perfectly prepared for their matchups, and.. outnumber their opponents? They both have 16 players.
The B teams on the other hand, see Brew More missing a core blocker... and being the lowest TV in the AFC? With a Deathroller??! I have no idea what is happening. Similarly, the Bungles are missing an extremely important Blitzer! And both only have 11 players (which means they'll get at least one journeyman.)
Brew More will bring 3 bribes, 2 stars, and whatever the hell else they want. With the journeyman, that puts them at 14 players to crush the elves with. Will it be enough?
Yes. Brew More has no business being in the playoffs - all they want to do is kill their opposition, even more than any of the chaos teams! And yet.. the only way to kill the most opponents is to be in as many games as possible. And the inducements mean there will simply be too much killing going on for the Treants to weather.
Evaders, despite having 4 more players than their opponents, will get a wizard. Heaven help the Bungles. The Evaders will .. evade. And the Bungles will bungle. The names tell the story.
AFC Championship:
Las Vegas vs Brew More
Since this is a gimme post where my predictions already failed miserably, we shall only do one round at a time from now on. |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
Dec 11, 2023 - 05:24 |
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Next is the NFC, where I did much better! I got 2/3 correct! But.. this is still a gimme post.
But we now have...
New York Kroaks (2450k tv) vs Mean Fae Quackers (1770k tv)
Clampa Bay Robotineers (1885k tv) vs Szeattle Scimitars (2350k tv)
This isn't quite as nice.. we have Almost Elf vs Elf and B vs Elf
New York comes out of the bye firing on all cylinders. They have 15 players and all their positionals. Clampa Bay Robotineers similarly have taken very little damage, they're just tiny hu-mons.
Mean Fae is beaten up with only 11 players, missing a High Elf Blitzer. Szeattle is missing a player, but who would possibly need juggernaut against.. oh wait.. humans with stand firm. But there are still 13 Scimitars.
Mean Fae gets almost as many inducements as Brew More - apparently when you face the #1 team, you bring the kitchen sink and everything that goes with it! A wizard, and eldril.. exactly how the Quackers have been winning games. But will it be enough? Slann are no stranger to pressuring the ball all game, and this could result in a very high scoring blitz-off, or it could be an absolute mess with the ball switching hands every turn. However, in this, we have to give it to the Quackers, who will quack and gaze their way to victory.
Clampa Bay also gets a whole pile of inducements. Bribes, wizards, oh my! Probably a star or two. And some kegs. And did we mention bribes? Szeattle will have their hands full. But, these are not orcs they are facing. And certainly not orcs they can't outrun! So we fall back to my good ol' vote for me!
NFC Championship
Szeattle vs Mean Fae |
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Amon242
Joined: Aug 02, 2003
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| Posted:
Dec 13, 2023 - 05:49 |
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Playoff Predictions Round 2: I want my coins back!
We are back to predict Round 2 of the NBFL Playoffs!
The High Priests of MagikSoft seem to have toyed with us last round, perhaps calling them "Oracle" has set off some deep seated resentment, as everyone knows they consider the SQL magik superior, but this is none of our concern as they are only interested in my coins. It took many days of persuasion to get them to provide the visions they had before, most likely in an attempt to milk me of more coins no doubt. But alas, they provided enough workable digital hallucinations to allow divination of the round 2 games, so let us begin!
New York Kroaks vs Mean Fae Quackers
Thats one confident frog
Kroaks 1 - Quackers 0
Clampa Bay Robotineers vs Szeattle Scimitars
This image foretells the elves becoming not themselves but monsters that batter and bloody the poor humans, yet some how the humans hold on to take the game to overtime. The monstrous elves are too much and win the game.
Scimitars 2 - Clamps 1
Houston Treants vs. Brew More Gents
Again elves transformed, twisted and evil. But the dwarfs have undergone their own transmutation, trying to be elves. The elves take the ball over the goal line to win the game, but not without great injury.
Houston 2 - Gents 1
Las Vegas Evaders vs. No-Skincinnati Bungles
This image augers an honorable match up, the proud Khemri and the determined Elves. But Drago didn't win in Rocky IV and came to see the error in his communist ways. And as such the Red, White, and Blue will come out winners of this match and teach everyone a lesson about getting along.
Evaders 2 - No-Skin 0 |
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ex-convict
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
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| Posted:
Jan 22, 2024 - 05:27 |
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NBFL Season 32 Draft Preview
Once again we are inbetween seasons where the 32 NBFL coaches plot, move, scheme, and/or change teams. What new stratagems will they come up with? Are there lessons to be learned from the last campaign? And most importantly: who will be available when it's your turn to draft?
Let's take a look at some team needs and possible picks:
1. Cleaved Land Bedlam / Chaos / captainmalkor (trade up from 6)
Draft Needs: Decide between replacing a permed Legend Warrior or adding new blood to the backfield
Possible Pick: #18 Markus "Barkus" Aiken (S) U.Con. Huskies UCONN Skilled 148 - +AG, Mighty Blow, Block, +MA, Dodge, +AG
A St5 Warrior is tempting but if you trade up like this, you take the best player in the draft.
2. Trans-Fat Crisco Porky Diners / Human / Cervus
Draft Needs: One Blitzer, replace injured players
Possible Pick: Trace Alehouse Mountain Union Raiders MU Blitzer 76 13 Mighty Blow, Tackle, Juggernaut, +AG
A much needed Agility-enhanced Blitzer could round out this team's corp very nicely.
3. Denver Bubonics / Skaven / jmonforton
Draft Needs: Best player available
Possible Pick: Dan Daluca Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Skilled 138 - +ST, Block, Tackle, Side Step, Diving Tackle, Sure Hands
Several options are available, but Mr Daluca is ready to cause havoc from day 1.
4. Tampa TBD / Vampire / Shook_One
Draft Needs: All (new franchise)
Possible Pick: Lindsey "Downhill" Vonn's Ghost Um, G'Olden Go Fer Its! UmGO Skilled 119 36 +AG, Side Step, Block, +MA, Leap
Literally don't know anything about playing Vampires but this seems like a good Runner? Plenty of free Spps to get Dodge or whatever else those things take.
5. Carolina TBD / Nurgle / Apojar
Draft Needs: Almost all (basically new franchise)
Possible Pick: Sawiaha Gorellis Toledo Moonlanders TOL Strength 46 11 Guard, +ST, Block
Adding someone like Mr Goreillis would give Carolina a *massive* front line with three St5 players. Just imagine if they all eventually have Tents!
6. Indy TBD / Dwarf / Miyuso (trade down from 1)
Draft Needs: All (new franchise)
Possible Pick: Kriss Proctor VII Navy Midskeletonmen NAVY Skilled/Thrower 50 11 +AG, +ST, Block, Dauntless
Not perfect but teams will have a hell of a time trying to stop him; down the road look to add some MA and suddenly you have an amazing Runner (sans Dauntless).
7. Illadelph Sunshine / Chaos / charlie1331
Draft Needs: Best player available
Possible Pick: Gonathan Gones Toledo Moonlanders TOL Strength 40 9 +ST, Block, Guard
Coach Charlie has a lot of options here: replacing a Warrior with this ST option, replacing a Warrior with a more standard one, or adding a pure hitter. He could follow the plan outlined above for Carolina and just make a massive front line.
8. Kansas City Geese / Human / HyperboLemuR
Draft Needs: Yo where tf the team go?
Possible Pick: T Bone U of Tee [Toronto] UoT Blitzer/Strength 73 2 Mighty Blow, Guard, [Chosen Secondary] Stand Firm, Grab
Nothing sexy, but a very skilled support piece. Gotta start filling the three open Blitzer spots somehow.
9. Detroit Riots / Chaos / HouseBlackfyre
Draft Needs: Warrior upgrade, or mobile Beastman
Possible Pick: Brian Driscoll California Golden Lizards CAL Blitzer/Strength 47 0 Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm
About as solid a Warrior candidate you'll find outside of Marley (AoT reference).
10. Arizona Redbulls / Chaos Dwarf / Klazam
Draft Needs: ...replace a Blocker I guess?
Possible Pick: Kaleb Utellum Mountain Union Raiders MU Blitzer 60 9 Mighty Blow, Guard, Grab, Pro
When you don't need much, you can upgrade where you choose to.
11. HEnnessy Titanic Hangovers / High Elf / knine
Draft Needs: One Blitzer, and 1-2 Catchers
Possible Pick: Hugh Nelson II University of Hawai'i UH Blitzer 40 14 Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard
Perhaps a little redundant with D. Allen [FAY] leading the charge, but all useful skills regardless.
12. Pittsburgh Pirouettes / Elven Union / Keshdr
Draft Needs: Best player available
Possible Pick: Layne Hatcher Arkansas State Red Wolves AST Blitzer 30 4 Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard
Getting a player with MB would be a nice find for the team.
13. Wargami Orkafins / Orc / Xelron
Draft Needs: Replace player of choice
Possible Pick: Brayden Rohme California Golden Lizards CAL Blitzer/Strength 66 15 Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle
While not a huge upgrade over the current 'weak link' BUB, Mr Rohme is ready from day 1 (unlike Rome).
14. Jakesonville Jortles / Skaven / mrt1212
Draft Needs: Replace either Blitzer, or Gutter #6
Possible Pick: Oscar Styrix Texas Tech Red Reptiles TT Blitzer/Strength 69 18 Block, Mighty Blow, Frenzy, Juggernaut
Getting a MB/Frenzy/Jugg player who is very close to something like Horns, Claw, or MA sounds like a fun move for coach Mrt.
15. New Ziggland Chariots / Chaos Dwarf / Wolvezzz
Draft Needs: Five-stat player with Block that no one else apparently wanted
Possible Pick: Gorex Enders Toledo Moonlanders TOL Strength 55 18 +AG, Dodge, Block
Guess he'll have to settle for one stat.
16. Los Angeles Glams / High Elf / Stimme
Draft Needs: Two Catchers
Possible Pick: Ironbar [IVCC] Ranchers IVCC Line/Skilled/Blitzer 49 4 Block, Tackle, Mighty Blow, [Chosen Primary]
The hunt for Seth B is back on, so here's another tool for coach Stimme to try to use to take down his division rival.
17. Deadtlanta Howlcons / Necromantic Horror / GotrekSlayer
Draft Needs: Flesh Golem, plus a Wraith or Ghoul upgrade later
Possible Pick: Virden Mz State Bull Dawgz MzST Strength 32 1 Block, Guard, Mighty Blow
Check the biggest need off, easy peasy.
18. Dallas Crowbar / Dwarf / OTS
Draft Needs: ...a Deathroller?
Possible Pick: T Time U of Tee [Toronto] UoT Line/Skilled 102 14 Dodge, Sure Hands, Block, Tackle, +MA
Weird, no Big Guy draftee comes with DP. Anyways, the first runner is solid while is 2 Spp away from a stat. The team doesn't really need anything per say, but this could be a decent Runner who comes with 14 Spps and two skill slots to grow.
19. Chicago TBD / Vampire / asteflix
Draft Needs: All (new franchise)
Possible Pick: T Rex U of Tee [Toronto] UoT Blitzer/Strength 127 - Block, Mighty Blow, Break Tackle, +MA, Tackle, Dodge
Would this be a good Vampire Blitzer? Idk, Aste may look for a Blodge player with extra Spps to develop into his preferred build.
20. Buffalo Chill / Dark Elf / Jeffro (trade up from 26)
Draft Needs: Anti-fitz weaponry
Possible Pick: Carlos "Predation" Barraza PSU Horticulturalists PSU Lineman 42 9 Wrestle, Dodge, Guard
Without a need at the Blitzer spot and no desire to field the vulnerable Witches, coach Jeffro could look to add some desperately needed Guard.
21. Las Vegas TBD / Vampire / wintergreen13
Draft Needs: All (new franchise)
Possible Pick: Caleb 'The Biologist' Homol Mountain Union Raiders MU Thrower 44 12 Block, Dodge, Leader, Mighty Blow, +MA
*Shrug*
22. Houston TBD / Orc / Bazakastine
Draft Needs: All (new franchise)
Possible Pick: Virden Mz State Bull Dawgz MzST Strength 30 5 Block, Guard
Coach Baz would be pretty disappointed in this meager result so hopefully his Compensatory Draft was amazing.
23. Baltimore Nevermore / Khorne / KidCrestHill
Draft Needs: One Bloodseeker and One Khorngor
Possible Pick: Max Anders Mountain Union Raiders MU Line/Blitzer 37 6 Mighty Blow, Guard, Block
If Baltimore wants to add a hitting-style K'gor, it may not have a ton of options, but adding another Guard wouldn't be the worst thing.
24. Green Bay TBD / Nurgle / happygrue (trade down from 20)
Draft Needs: All (new franchise)
Possible Pick: Jolly Green Giant Um, G'olden Go For Its! UmGO Big Guy 54 23 Guard, Stand Firm, Grab
While perhaps disappointed to not get a Bloater here, coach Grue is getting a perfectly named player for your team that also has enough Spps to take Block immediately. Also, I feel like he could get use out of Grab for some reason?
25. Manglesota Lyc'ns / Necromantic Horror / Lorebass
Draft Needs: Two Wraiths and One Ghoul
Possible Pick: Max Garrar Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Blitzer 42 8 Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Thick Skull
Check one need off the list.
26. Witchington Commies / Dark Elf / Garcangel
Draft Needs: One Blitzer, Guard Linos
Possible Pick: Lindsey "Downhill" Vonn Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Skilled 57 6 Block, Guard, Side Step, Defensive
Once Vonn gets Dodge, this player will be a massive pain in the ass for the NFC East.
27. Tijuana Charros / Nurgle / Amon242
Draft Needs: One Bloater, 1-2 Pestigors
Possible Pick: TW Ayers Arkansas State Red Wolves AST Strength 14 0 Block, Guard
Having a real hard time finding a Pesti that coach Amon would like so we'll settle for this instead.
28. New New Orleans Santas / Human / dashergeaux
Draft Needs: One Blitzer, Guard Linos, scoring Catchers
Possible Pick: George "Bioswale" McCorley PSU Horticulturalists PSU Skilled 94 3 Block, Side Step, +MA, Sprint, Leap
Not an Ag catcher (yet) but perhaps useful enough to help New New Orleans score some touchdowns.
29. Szeattle Scimitars / Dark Elf / Nelphine
Draft Needs: Probably more Guard Linos?
Possible Pick: Half Fingers Normandale Con-Unity College NCUC Line/Skilled/Blitzer 21 2 Guard, Block
Moar Guard.
30. No-Skincinnati Bungles / Tomb Kings / Dutchlife
Draft Needs: Without even looking I know it's two Tomb Guardians
Possible Pick: Arnaud Weck Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Big Guy 31 4 Block, Guard, Stand Firm
Looks good.
31. Brew More Gents / Dwarf / ryanfitz
Draft Needs: Two Blitzers, for one of the Runners to roll AG
Possible Pick: Pascal 'Gunner' Naddaud Poli Puerkos POLI Line/Blitzer 22 6 +MA, Guard
Get that Dwarfen track team going again!
32. New York Kroaks / Slann / ex-convict
Draft Needs: Useful Linefrogs, another scoring Catcher
Possible Pick: Gloria Whole U.Con. Huskies UCONN Lineman 28 13 Block, Tackle
Saving for MA or AG, ribbit. |
_________________
Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.
Don't drop the soap. |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
Jan 23, 2024 - 02:55 |
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waaaaaaait
how are number 4 and number 26 picks getting the same player??! |
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shook_one
Joined: Jul 23, 2021
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| Posted:
Jan 23, 2024 - 03:01 |
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they are two different players actually nelph, one is a "ghost" and the other is not |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
Jan 23, 2024 - 03:10 |
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lolol i know. the ghost is the player Tussock made after i killed the first one, and then we both graduated at the same time. They played each other many many times. RIVALRY! |
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ex-convict
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
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| Posted:
Feb 07, 2024 - 05:26 |
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NBFL Season 32 Draft Grades
Another draft in the books, so it's time to take a look at how each team did. Were they able to hit on their needs? Was there a player too good for them to pass up? Did they make the right decisions? And why are we still trading blind ahead of time? Keep reading and tune in to the Draft Grade Review show to find out most of these answers!
1. Cleaved Land Bedlam
Race: Chaos
Coach: captainmalkor
Division: AFC North
Previous Record: 3-4-7
Draft Needs
-Decide between replacing a permed Legend Warrior or adding new blood to the backfield
Draft Notes
-Traded #6 and #38 for #1
Draft Picks
Main 1 #18 Markus "Barkus" Aiken (S) U.Con. Huskies UCONN Skilled 148 0 +AG, Mighty Blow, Block, +MA, Dodge, +AG Beastman
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A
Dash: A
Baz: A
Nelph: A+
2. Trans-Fat Crisco Porky Diners
Race: Human
Coach: Cervus
Division: NFC West
Previous Record: 0-2-12
Draft Needs
-One Blitzer, replace injured players
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 2 Lindsey "Downhill" Vonn's Ghost Um, G'Olden Go Fer Its! UmGO Skilled 119 36 +AG, Side Step, Block, +MA, Leap Halfling
Main 33 Kaleb Utellum Mountain Union Raiders MU Blitzer 60 9 Mighty Blow, Guard, Grab, Pro Human Blitzer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C+
Dash: D
Baz: D
Nelph: C-
3. Denver Bubonics
Race: Skaven
Coach: jmonforton
Division: AFC West
Previous Record: 2-1-11
Draft Needs
-Best player available
Draft Notes
-Granted Pool 2 Comp pick
Draft Picks
Comp 2.11 Lineman Dantzler [MSU] +ST, Block, Kick, Tackle 9 Linerat
Main 3 Kriss Proctor VII Navy Midskeletonmen NAVY Skilled/Thrower 50 11 +AG, +ST, Block, Dauntless Skaven Thrower
Main 35 Con Vect Normandale Con-Unity College NCUC Line/Skilled/Blitzer 42 0 Block, Side Step, Shadowing Gutter Runner
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C
Dash: C
Baz: C-
Nelph: D-
4. Arizona Redbulls
Race: Chaos Dwarf
Coach: Klazam
Division: NFC West
Previous Record: 6-0-8
Draft Needs
-...replace a Blocker I guess?
Draft Notes
-Traded #10 and #42 for #4
Draft Picks
Main 4 Dan Daluca Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Skilled 138 0 +ST, Block, Tackle, Side Step, Diving Tackle, Sure Hands Hobgoblin
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B-
Dash: B
Baz: C+
Nelph: B
5. Carolina Pantzers
Race: Nurgle
Coach: Apojar
Division: NFC South
Previous Record: 1-0-1 (late-season replacement)
Draft Needs
-Almost all (basically new franchise)
Draft Notes
-Granted Pool 2 and 3 Comp picks
Draft Picks
Comp 2.7 line/skilled Natal "Starr Killer" Adams [MIA] Wrestle, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Dauntless 2 Pestigor
Comp 3.7 Line/Blitz Dawson Mudon Guard, Stand Firm 0 Rotter
Main 5 Sawiaha Gorellis Toledo Moonlanders TOL Strength 46 11 Guard, +ST, Block Bloater
Main 37 MuCaw Mountain Union Raiders MU Big Guy 54 0 Guard, Grab, Block Rotspawn
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C+
Dash: D
Baz: B-
Nelph: C-
6. Indianapolis Bolts
Race: Dwarf
Coach: Miyuso
Division: AFC South
Previous Record: N/A (new location)
Draft Needs
-All (new)
Draft Notes
-Traded #1 for #6 and #38
Draft Picks
Comp 1.5 Blitzer/Strength Tyler Decker [Defensive],Grab, Guard, Mighty blow, Stand firm 3 Dwarf longbeard
Comp 2.2 Skilled Boomer Esiason [MD] MD +MA, Block, Sure Feet, Sprint, Side Step 1 Dwarf Runner
Comp 3.2 Line/sk/blz Javonte Jean-Baptiste [BRO] BRO Wrestle, Tackle, Jumpup, Strip ball 8 Troll Slayer
Main 6 T Bone U of Tee [Toronto] UoT Blitzer/Strength 73 2 Mighty Blow, Guard, [Defensive] Stand Firm, Grab Dwarf Longbeard
Main 33 Todd Bouman Um, G'Olden Go Fer Its! UmGO Thrower 48 1 Kick, Wrestle, On the Ball, Leader Dwarf Runner
Main 38 Teed Off U of Tee [Toronto] UoT Blitzer/Strength 40 2 Mighty Blow, Guard, Stand Firm, Shadowing Blitzer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B-
Dash: D
Baz: C+
Nelph: B-
7. Illadelph Sunshine
Race: Chaos
Coach: charlie1331
Division: NFC East
Previous Record: 4-2-8
Draft Needs
-Best player available
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 7 Gonathan Gones Toledo Moonlanders TOL Strength 40 9 +ST, Block, Guard Chaos Warrior
Main 39 Borris Handholf Northern Virginia CC Hawks NOVA Lineman 33 18 Block, Pro Beastman
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A
Dash: A
Baz: A-
Nelph: B-
8. Kansas City Geese
Race: Human
Coach: HyperboLemuR
Division: AFC West
Previous Record: 4-3-7
Draft Needs
-Yo where tf the team go?
Draft Notes
-Granted a Pool 2 Comp pick
Draft Picks
Comp 2.8 Blitzer LB#51 Dodge, Tackle, Mighty Blow, Guard, Stand Firm 0 Human Blitzer
Main 8 Trace Alehouse Mountain Union Raiders MU Blitzer 76 13 Mighty Blow, Tackle, Juggernaut, +AG Human Blitzer
Main 40 Quazzel White (OT) #51 TCU Horned Rats TCU Lineman 16 4 Dirty Player, Wrestle Human Lineman
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A-
Dash: A
Baz: B+
Nelph: A
9. Detroit Riots
Race: Chaos
Coach: HouseBlackfyre
Division: NFC North
Previous Record: 5-1-8
Draft Needs
-Warrior upgrade, or mobile Beastman
Draft Notes
-Make T Rex a Beastman instead?
Draft Picks
Main 9 T Rex U of Tee [Toronto] UoT Blitzer/Strength 127 0 Block, Mighty Blow, Break Tackle, +MA, Tackle, Dodge Chaos Warrior
Main 41 Cory Hothammer Texas E n' M Banshees EnM Lineman 31 4 Block, Dauntless, [Claw] Beastman
Draft Grades
Ex-con: D
Dash: C
Baz: D
Nelph: C+
10. Vampa Bay Familiars
Race: Vampire
Coach: Shook_One
Division: NFC South
Previous Record: N/A (new franchise)
Draft Needs
-All (new)
Draft Notes
-Traded #4 for #10 and #42
Draft Picks
Comp 1.3 line/skill/blitz Ronnie Brown [MIA] Wrestle, Tackle, +MA, Dodge, [Chosen Primary] 0 Vamp Runner
Comp 2.4 Skill/Blitz/Strength Derpitti [NCC] NCC Block, Dodge, Pro, Sure hands, Tackle 9 Vampire Thrower
Comp 3.4 Line/sk/blz Deadvil Mims Block, Dodge, Guard 0 Vampire Thrower
Main 10 Gorex Enders Toledo Moonlanders TOL Strength 55 18 +AG, Dodge, Block Vampire Blitzer
Main 36 Jamarr Graves PSU Horticulturalists PSU Skilled 49 18 Block, Side Step, Jump Up, Sure Feet Vampire Runner
Main 42 Hakon Vekellson Drexel Draugrs DD Strength 52 21 Dodge, Block, Jump Up Vampire Bltizer
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: B
Baz: B-
Nelph: B+
11. HEnnessy Titanic Hangovers
Race: High Elf
Coach: knine
Division: AFC South
Previous Record: 4-5-5
Draft Needs
-One Blitzer and 1-2 Catchers
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 11 Oscar Styrix Texas Tech Red Reptiles TT Blitzer/Strength 69 18 Block, Mighty Blow, Frenzy, Juggernaut High Elf Blitzer
Main 44 Roberto 'BigTen' Wranbila Poli Puerkos POLI Line/Blitzer 21 4 Guard, Dodge High Lineelf
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: A
Baz: B+
Nelph: A-
12. Pittsburgh Pirouettes
Race: Elven Union
Coach: Keshdr
Division: AFC North
Previous Record: 4-5-5
Draft Needs
-Best player available
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 12 Hugh Nelson II University of Hawai'i UH Blitzer 40 14 Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard Pro Elf Blitzer
Main 43 Nasty T Eeth U of Tee [Toronto] UoT Line/Skilled 16 4 Wrestle, Tackle Pro Elf Catcher
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: B
Baz: B+
Nelph: A-
13. Wargami Orkafins
Race: Orc
Coach: Xelron
Division: AFC East
Previous Record: 5-3-6
Draft Needs
-Replace player of choice
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 13 Caleb 'The Biologist' Homol Mountain Union Raiders MU Thrower 44 12 Block, Dodge, Leader, Mighty Blow, +MA Orc Thrower
Main 45 Even "River School" Hudson U-Dub Elfskies UDUB Lineman 17 13 +MA Orc Goblin
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B-
Dash: C
Baz: B-
Nelph: B-
14. Jakesonville Jortles
Race: Skaven
Coach: mrt1212
Division: AFC South
Previous Record: 5-5-4
Draft Needs
-Replace either Blitzer, or Gutter #6
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 14 George "Bioswale" McCorley PSU Horticulturalists PSU Skilled 94 0 Block, Side Step, Sprint, Leap Gutter Runner
Main 47 Thayer Mumford Bro-hio State Buckeyes BRO Lineman 18 4 Wrestle, Dodge Linerat
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: A
Baz: B+
Nelph: B-
15. New Ziggland Chariots
Race: Chaos Dwarf
Coach: Wolvezzz
Division: AFC East
Previous Record: 5-5-4
Draft Needs
-Five-stat player with Block that no one else apparently wanted
Draft Notes
-Save or use Spps on first draftee?
Draft Picks
Main 15 Mitch O'Harass Mountain Union Raiders MU Blitzer/Strength 48 17 Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Pro Chaos Dwarf
Main 46 Addi Tional Northern Virginia CC Hawks NOVA Big Guy 33 15 +AV Enslaved Minotaur
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B--
Dash: C
Baz: C+
Nelph: B-
16. Los Angeles Glams
Race: High Elf
Coach: Stimme
Division: NFC West
Previous Record: 7-1-6
Draft Needs
-Two Catchers
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 16 Ironbar [IVCC] Ranchers IVCC Line/Skilled/Blitzer 49 4 Block, Tackle, Mighty Blow, [Dodge] High Elf Catcher
Main 48 #20 Tevrin "Slevin" Brandon (CB) U.Con. Huskies UCONN Skilled 35 16 Block, Side Step High Elf Catcher
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B++
Dash: A+
Baz: A
Nelph: A
17. Deadtlanta Howlcons
Race: Necromantic Horror
Coach: GotrekSlayer
Division: NFC South
Previous Record: 6-4-4
Draft Needs
-Flesh Golem, plus a Wraith or Ghoul upgrade later
Draft Notes
-Granted a Pool 2 Comp pick
Draft Picks
Comp 2.10 Skill/Blitz Cordy Glenn Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Tackle, +MA 0 Wraith
Main 17 Brayden Rohme California Golden Lizards CAL Blitzer/Strength 66 15 Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle Flesh Golem
Main 49 Nikko Remigio California Golden Lizards CAL Skilled 21 7 Block, Side Step Ghoul
Draft Grades
Ex-con: A+
Dash: AAA
Baz: A+
Nelph: A+
18. Dallas Crowbar
Race: Dwarf
Coach: OTS
Division: NFC East
Previous Record: 5-4-5
Draft Needs
-...a Deathroller?
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 18 Nicholas Fomdey Texas Tech Red Reptiles TT Line/Skilled 18 0 Side Step, Diving Tackle Longbeard
Main 50 Winona "Beetlejuice" Ryder Um, G'Olden Go Fer Its! UmGO Blitzer 26 8 Dodge, Guard Longbeard
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C
Dash: F
Baz: D-
Nelph: B
19. Chic'A'Ghost Bats
Race: Vampire
Coach: asteflix
Division: NFC North
Previous Record: N/A (new franchise)
Draft Needs
-All (new)
Draft Notes
-Took ST Runner over AG/block and MA/MA/block
Draft Picks
Comp 1.4 Line/Skilled Amani Foulariye +AG, +ST, Block, Kick, Surehands 38 Vamp Thrower
Comp 2.3 Line/Skilled Adams +ST 0 Vampire runner
Comp 3.3 Line/Skilled White [Chosen Primary], Block 8 Vampire Thrower
Main 19 Dewey Selmon Oooklahoma Flingers OOK Strength 30 15 Mighty Blow, Dodge Vampire Blitzer
Main 51 Jolly Green Giant Um, G'olden Go For Its! UmGO Big Guy 54 19 Guard, Stand Firm Vargheist of Heists
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C+
Dash: B
Baz: C+
Nelph: B
20. Buffalo Chill
Race: Dark Elf
Coach: Jeffro
Division: AFC East
Previous Record: 7-1-6
Draft Needs
-Anti-fitz weaponry
Draft Notes
-Traded #24 and #54 for #20
Draft Picks
Main 20 Max Anders Mountain Union Raiders MU Line/Blitzer 37 6 Mighty Blow, Guard, Block Dark Elf Lineelf
Draft Grades
Ex-con: C+
Dash: B
Baz: C+
Nelph: D+
21. Witchington Commies
Race: Dark Elf
Coach: Garcangel
Division: NFC East
Previous Record: 8-2-4
Draft Needs
-One Blitzer, Guard Linos
Draft Notes
-Traded #26 and #58 for #21
Draft Picks
Main 21 Carlos "Predation" Barraza PSU Horticulturalists PSU Lineman 42 9 Wrestle, Dodge, Guard Dark Elf Lineelf
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B+
Dash: B
Baz: B+
Nelph: B+
22. Orcston Oilers
Race: Orc
Coach: Bazakastine
Division: AFC South
Previous Record: N/A (new franchise)
Draft Needs
-All (new)
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Comp 1.2 Blitzer/Strength Assiniboine Assisinator [MB] MB +AG,+ST,Block,Mighty Blow, Tackle 18 Orc Blitzer
Comp 2.5 Line/sk/blz Colin "Munchkin" Joy [BK] BK Block, Dodge, +Ma, Tackle, Mighty Blow 2 Orc Blitzer
Comp 3.5 Blitzer/Strength Michael Blockers Guard, Stand firm 15 Big Un
Main 22 Brian Driscoll California Golden Lizards CAL Blitzer/Strength 47 0 Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm Big Un
Main 54 Lee Roy Selmon Oooklahoma Flingers OOK Big guy 27 12 Guard, Stand Firm Orc Troll
Draft Grades
Ex-con: L(ucker)
Dash: A
Baz: A
Nelph: A-
23. Baltimore Nevermore
Race: Khorne
Coach: KidCrestHill
Division: AFC North
Previous Record: 6-3-5
Draft Needs
-One Bloodseeker and One Khorngor
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 23 Virden Mz State Bull Dawgz MzST Strength 32 1 Block, Guard, Mighty Blow Bloodseeker
Main 55 Tyson "Biomass" Pauling PSU Horticulturalists PSU Lineman 22 4 Dodge, Wrestle Marauder
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: A
Baz: A-
Nelph: B+
24. Keen Play Hackers
Race: Nurgle
Coach: happygrue
Division: NFC North
Previous Record: N/A (new franchise)
Draft Needs
-All (new)
Draft Notes
-Traded #20 for #24 and #56
Draft Picks
Comp 1.6 Blitzer IM Fort {SMAL} ST, Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle 0 Pestigor
Comp 2.1 Line/skilled Johnson [MzSt] MzSt +AG, Block, SureHands 1 Pestigor
Comp 3.1 Blitzer/Strength TJ Hoofenson Block, Guard, Sidestep 24 Bloater
Main 24 T Off U of Tee [Toronto] UoT Blitzer/Strength 26 0 Guard, Stand Firm, Mighty Blow Bloater
Main 52 Silyon Mitchell Toledo Moonlanders TOL Big Guy 40 10 Guard, Block, Multiple Block Rotspawn
Main 56 Virden Mz State Bull Dawgz MzST Strength 30 5 Block, Guard Bloater
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: B
Baz: B+
Nelph: B-
25. Manglesota Lyc'ns
Race: Necromantic Horror
Coach: Lorebass
Division: NFC North
Previous Record: 7-4-3
Draft Needs
-Two Wraiths and One Ghoul
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 25 Max Garrar Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Blitzer 42 8 Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Thick Skull Wraith
Main 57 Ronald Awatt UTEP Minors UTEP Skilled 57 15 Block, Sure Hands, Side Step, Fend Ghoul
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: A
Baz: A-
Nelph: FFFF
26. Las Fangas Stargazers
Race: Vampire
Coach: wintergreen13
Division: AFC West
Previous Record: N/A (new franchise)
Draft Needs
-All (new)
Draft Notes
-Traded #21 for #26 and #58
Draft Picks
Comp 1.1 Skilled/Blitzer A.J. Hawk [OHIO] OHIO Tackle, +ST, +AG, Dodge, Side Step 5 Vampire Thrower
Comp 2.6 Skilled Rúmil Vardalas +AG, Block 3 Vampire Runner
Comp 3.6 Line/Skilled Tyler Leskew [UCSD] Wrestle, Dodge, Tackle 15 Vampire Runner
Main 26 T Time U of Tee [Toronto] UoT Line/Skilled 102 14 Dodge, Sure Hands, Block, Tackle, +MA Vampire Thrower
Main 53 Seth Williams Fayetteville Bronchospasms FAY Skilled/Blitzer 30 4 Strip Ball, +MA Vampire Blitzer
Main 58 Jacob Colton Texas Tech Red Reptiles TT Big Guy 20 5 Guard, Stand Firm Vargheist
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: A
Baz: A
Nelph: B+
27. Tijuana Charros
Race: Nurgle
Coach: Amon242
Division: AFC West
Previous Record: 7-4-2
Draft Needs
-One Bloater, 1-2 Pestigors
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 27 Semise "Soil" Kofe PSU Horticulturalists PSU Skilled/Blitzer 34 4 Tackle, Wrestle, Strip Ball Pestigor
Main 59 TW Ayers Arkansas State Red Wolves AST Strength 14 0 Block, Guard Bloater
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B+
Dash: A
Baz: A-
Nelph: A-
28. New New Orleans Santas
Race: Human
Coach: dashergeaux
Division: NFC South
Previous Record: 7-4-3
Draft Needs
-One Blitzer, Guard Linos, scoring Catchers
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 28 Layne Hatcher Arkansas State Red Wolves AST Blitzer 30 4 Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard Blitzer
Main 60 Gerald Gorestache [NCBB] FlaSt Delfinoles FSD skilled 20 7 Block, Leap Catcher
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B-
Dash: B
Baz: B
Nelph: B-
29. Szeattle Scimitars
Race: Dark Elf
Coach: Nelphine
Division: NFC South
Previous Record: 7-3-4
Draft Needs
-Probably more Guard Linos?
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 29 Half Fingers Normandale Con-Unity College NCUC Line/Skilled/Blitzer 21 2 Guard, Block Dark Lineelf
Main 61 Gloria Whale U.Con. Huskies UCONN Lineman 28 13 Block, Tackle Dark Lineelf
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B+
Dash: B
Baz: A-
Nelph: A-
30. No-Skincinnati Bungles
Race: Tomb Kings
Coach: Dutchlife
Division: AFC North
Previous Record: 7-5-2
Draft Needs
-Without even looking I know it's two Tomb Guardians
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 30 Arnaud Weck Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Big Guy 31 4 Block, Guard, Stand Firm Tomb Guardian
Main 62 CN Tower of Power U of Tee [Toronto] UoT Blitzer/Strength 31 0 Block, Break Tackle, Stand Firm Tomb Guardian
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B
Dash: B
Baz: C+
Nelph: A-
31. Brew More Gents
Race: Dwarf
Coach: ryanfitz
Division: AFC East
Previous Record: 8-2-4
Draft Needs
-Two Blitzers, for one of the Runners to roll AG
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 31 Pascal 'Gunner' Naddaud Poli Puerkos POLI Line/Blitzer 22 6 +MA, Guard Dwarf Blitzer
Main 63 Chase Garnham Vampirebilt Commonthralls VAMP Lineman 25 4 none Longbeard
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B-
Dash: B
Baz: B
Nelph: B-
32. New York Kroaks
Race: Slann
Coach: ex-convict
Division: NFC East
Previous Record: 10-3-1
Draft Needs
-Useful Linefrogs, another scoring Catcher
Draft Notes
-
Draft Picks
Main 32 Lindsey "Downhill" Vonn Ottawa Bee-Bees OTT Skilled 57 6 Block, Guard, Side Step, Defensive Slann Blitzer
Main 64 Nora Bertram Fighting Illini Bulls FILL Line/Skilled 7 0 Strip Ball, Kick Slann Linefrog
Draft Grades
Ex-con: B+
Dash: A
Baz: A
Nelph: B |
_________________
Part of the NCBB and the NBFL.
Don't drop the soap. |
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wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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| Posted:
Mar 05, 2024 - 19:34 |
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NBFL Season XXXII Week 1
Ahem, is this thing on? Check check cheeeecccck. Sibilance. Sibilance. Okay, seems in order. Yes Chet, I am aware this is not a verbal medium. I’m dictating it so that you can transcribe it later. Yes, that IS why I have an intern. Anyway, you may be wondering why the person bringing you the Death of the Week data is Randall Steadworth, president of Sylvania International News Network (SINN). No Chet, you aren’t supposed to put everything I say in the introductory paragraph, it’s called paraphrasing. It’s called touching up. It’s called goddamn writing, Chet! Now I’ve lost my train of thought. Anyway, we kil- uh, absorbed that other operation, and the previous reporters are all on a very sustained sabbatical. So now you will get your important information from the only news source that matters: SINN! Mwa ha ha ha! *cough cough* Ugh, that sucked. Let’s try it again from the top.
Dead of the Week
Zane Faravinn: Trans-Fat lineman; Wrestle, Pro, Fend
Themis the Old: HEennessey lineman; Grab
Ungard Xensor: Las Fangas thrall; Fend, Frenzy
Hungus: Illadelph beastman; Block, Tackle
Steve Tasker: Buffalo lineman; no skills
Cameron Saffle [CAL]: Dallas blitzer; +ST, Dodge, Side Step
Jamarr Graves [PSU]: Vampa Bay vampire runner; Block, Side Step, Jump Up, Sure Feet
''Voguish'' Amani Foulariye: Chic’A’Ghost vampire thrower; +AG, +ST, Block, Kick, Sure Hands, Dodge
Death of the Week: 
Maimed of the Week
Cory Hothammer [En'M]: Detroit beastman (-ST); Block, Dauntless, Claws
Oreky Colberane: Szeattle lineman (-AG); Strip Ball, Tackle
Alexander Annihilater: New New Orleans blitzer (-AG); +ST, Break Tackle, Guard
Mir Alidore: Szeattle lineman (-MA); Guard
Flyshawn Slayer: Tijuana rotter (-AV); Dirty Player
Demetrius Augustine Gallitzin [STF]: Dallas troll slayer (-AV); Mighty Blow, Guard, Stand Firm, Brawler
T Rex [Toronto]: Detroit chosen blocker (-PA); Block, Mighty Blow, Break Tackle, +MA, Tackle, Dodge
Total NI this week: 8
Total MNG this week: 17
Total stat busts this week: 7
Total deaths this week: 8
Total SI/RIP: 40 |
Last edited by wintergreen13 on %b %05, %2024 - %20:%Mar; edited 1 time in total |
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Nelphine
Joined: Apr 01, 2011
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| Posted:
Mar 05, 2024 - 19:38 |
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wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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| Posted:
Mar 05, 2024 - 20:38 |
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| Nelphine wrote: | | my poor random guard!!!! |
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wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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| Posted:
Mar 08, 2024 - 01:26 |
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NBFL Season XXXII Week 2
Stay tuned for a SINN Hexclusive ™ following this week’s DotW:
While each team won as expected, the league’s three Vampire squads let opponents score 2 combined touchdowns. SINN asks: are these teams letting Sylvania down by allowing opponents to score any TDs at all? Our special investigators take to the streets to get fan reactions and hot takes!
Dead of the Week
Dawson Poscidion [TTRR]: Baltimore bloodseeker; Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm
Tethys the Aged Jr: HEnnessey lineman; Side Step
Kevin Powae #68 (C): Brew More lineman; Mighty Blow, Guard
High Pitch [UP]: Buffalo lineman; Dirty Player, Block, Sneaky Git
Death of the Week: A fairly benign affair this week. Only two dead draft picks, and of the two only one will have an appreciable impact on the team’s performance, so Death of the Week this week is awarded to Dawson Poscidion! An integral piece of the Baltimore front line, Dawson was killed on a stray 1-die block by up-and-coming Vampa Bay blitzer Hakon Vekellson. While the Baltimore fans clamored for a review of the play, claiming they saw a “wicked scimitar” in Vekellson’s hands at the time, Count Luthor von Drakenborg convinced them nothing of the sort ever took place. Luckily Baltimore still has three nasty bloodseekers to perform Khorne's gory dictates, but the loss will definitely put them at a disadvantage in their week 3 match against No-Skincinnati.
Maimed of the Week
Yambul Elftyrant: Wargami lineman (-AG); Dirty Player
Tom Mack [CIN]: Buffalo lineman (-AG); +ST, +AG, +MA, Block, Dodge, Defensive
Pascal [CU]: Wargami big un (-MA); Guard, Mighty Blow, Grab, Block
The Ghost of Steve Tasker: Buffalo lineman (-MA); no skills
Aspen Shedder: Denver rat ogre (-MA); no skills
Orin Patu [CAL]: Wargami big un (-AV); Block, Guard, Stand Firm, Tackle
Allin Rage [PIT]: Wargami blitzer (-AV); Mighty Blow, Tackle, Frenzy, +MA, Stand Firm, Juggernaut
Jae'sun Piet'rs [POS]: Illadelph beastman (-AV); Block, Guard
Dolona Varron: Pittsburgh lineman (-AV); Block
''Groom'' Walter Black: Chic’A’Ghost thrall (-AV); Wrestle
Shaq Mason: Orcston lineman (-AV); Dirty Player
Gloria Whale [UCONN]: Szeattle lineman (-PA); Block, Dodge, Tackle
Total NI this week: 17
Total MNG this week: 13
Total stat busts this week: 12
Total deaths this week: 4
Total SI/RIP: 46 |
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wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2024 - 06:03 |
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NBFL Season XXXII Week 3
If you didn’t catch it, Jeffro played his 2500th FUMBBL match against Xelron’s orcs and you can watch it here! It sure was… something. In COMPLETELY unrelated news, this week’s Death of the Week is sponsored by GarcCoinBot. Don’t forget to place those bets early and often!
Dead of the Week
Sawiaha Gorelis [TOL]: Carolina bloater; +ST, Block, Guard
Kareem Hunter: Cleaved Land beastman; Block
Chuck Roast: Denver lineman; Dirty Player
Conner Lanfear [EnM]: Trans-Fat hobbit; Dirty Player, Sneaky Git, Safe Pair of Hands
Edward Clumsyrock: Buffalo lineman; no skills
Luna Jasper: Arizona hobgoblin; Dirty Player
Death of the Week: While we here at DotW love a good halfling death (especially when they die after being tossed by an ogre on turn 0 of the match), this week’s biggest loss was not a small-fry, but rather a large guy: Carolina’s Sawiaha Gorelis, #5 pick in this season’s draft and a cornerstone of the Pantzers defense. While the team is building up their players little by little (a long process for rookie nurgle), the loss of one of their pair of +ST bloaters is certainly a hit to that progress. So pour one into the body-soup (preferably an expired and chunky one) for Gorelis! Just don’t mind if we stay far, far away while you do so.
Maimed of the Week
Phil Asack [DUKE]: Baltimore bloodspawn (-ST); Guard, Block, Prehensile Tail, Diving Tackle, Stand Firm
Oreky Colberane: Szeattle lineman (-ST); Strip Ball, Tackle
Max Garrar [OTT]: Manglesota wraith (-AG); Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Thick Skull
Ronald Awatt [UTEP]: Manglesota ghoul (-MA); Block, Sure Hands, Side Step, Fend, Leap
Will Anderson: Orcston big un (-MA); Block
Mir Alidore: Szeattle lineman (-AV); Guard
Ironbar [IVCC]: Los Angeles catcher (-PA); Block, Tackle, Mighty Blow, Dodge
Travis Brown [UNM]: New York blitzer (-PA); Block, Tackle, Stand Firm, Guard, Dodge
Total NI this week: 18
Total MNG this week: 16
Total stat busts this week: 8
Total deaths this week: 6
Total SI/RIP: 48 |
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wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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| Posted:
Mar 15, 2024 - 17:05 |
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wintergreen13
Joined: Apr 10, 2011
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| Posted:
Mar 22, 2024 - 06:15 |
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NBFL Season XXXII Week 4
Yo yo yo! Chet is LIT! Lit like literary – droppin’ tomes like Jesus dropped the commandments on that dude’s dome. Yeah, ya boi Chet is the kingessential everythingman: droppin’ verse with my band HawtDogg (shout out to Rattler, love you man!), DJ at the ‘Tude Bugler on Tuesday nights, parkour coach to the 42nd Ave neighborhood, and now a m’f’n journalist. When old man Randy told me he was going to be out of town I was like yo Chet got this. And now I’m here totally doin’ it. In your face, mom!
Dead of the Week
Iapetus Paradis: HEnnessey lineman; Side Step
J Fleming [BRO]: HEnnessey catcher; Block, Side Step, Sure Feet, On the Ball, Dodge
Earl Full Proof Campbell Jr: HEnnessey catcher; Sprint
Johnny Hekker: Carolina rotter; Kick, Pro
URL Jr.: New New Orleans hobbit; Diving Tackle, Sneaky Git
O Julius: Denver linerat; Block
Joshua Ezeudu: New York lineman; Wrestle
Death of the Week: BRUH. Look at all these dead dudes! I’m like man, Full Proof is my jam so it’s gotta be Campbell right? I ALWAYS drink full proof Fireball after my DJ set (until those cowards cut me off!). But then I saw that Fleming was a total BRO and I was all, oh snap, when a bro dies that is not cool. So I’m using my power to memorialize my BRO Fleming. I didn’t know him but I’m sure he loved rocking out, pranking fools, parkour, doin’ splats at the gym, and jet skis. Man, now I’m getting all worked up, need to slam some full proof. Chet out! To the bar!
Maimed of the Week
Gaia Grand: HEnnessey lineman (-AG); Kick, Strip Ball
Lakbir Phalanx: No-Skincinnati lineman (-MA); +AG, Dodge, Block, Tackle
Poe the mascot: Baltimore lineman (-MA); Foul Appearance
Dantzler [MSU]: Denver linerat (-MA); +ST, Block, Tackle, Kick
Takla Marcellus [BUFF]: Arizona chorf blocker (-AV); Guard, Multiple Block, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Pro
Cam Jortonson: Jakesonville rat ogre (-AV); Block, +MA, Juggernaut, Guard
Z Keen [MU]: Denver gutter runner (-AV); Block, Sure Feet, Side Step, Sprint, Prehensile Tail
David Ghesquiere [FL]: Cleaved Land chosen blocker (-AV); Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, Claws, Tackle, Stand Firm
Total NI this week: 18
Total MNG this week: 12
Total stat busts this week: 9
Total deaths this week: 8
Total SI/RIP: 47
(Ed: if the numbers look off, that’s because one star player was killed and another permed this week. We don’t report on fake news like “dead” stars, but we do like to include them in the totals) |
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