Doc Pain of Doc Pain's Mean Machine has come under the watchful eye of the recently formed FUMBBL Oversight Committee for Substance Abuse with his so-called "growth pills." Although prohibitions on magic have been strictly regulated and only recently have anything other than necromancers been allowed near the pitch with wands in hand, the regulation of potions, pills and elixirs have historically escaped the attention of FUMBBL referees. Of course, lots of things escape the attention of the refs, like the odd boot to the skull and the occasional chainsaw, but hey - it's all part of the game, right?

Turns out that growth pills (also known as performance enhancers, or steroids in the alchemy community) have started to see increasing circulation among the players of Blood Bowl teams. Some coaches, like Doc Pain, make no bones about giving their players an extra edge on the field but others (while certainly making bones) attempt to be much more covert about their use of so called performance enhancers. Take for instance Mr. Moonlight, star Zombie of the Killers of Mr. Moonlight. His stat sheet claims his strength is about that of an average Chaos Warrior (already formidable for these shuffling blocking dummies). On the field he can stand toe to toe with a Mummy. Clearly, his coach has something to hide. It may be possible for strength training to show some improvements, but there remains an upper limit for Zombies (typically when the weight snaps the arms right off of their rotting corpses).

Performance enhancers are not just in use by Undead teams however, and coaches may not be the sole source of blame. Peer pressure appears to be a strong force behind the closed doors of the League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen locker room. Star catcher Busta has been accused by opponents of taking a designer steroid for years and recently Cube and Aragorn seem to have joined him. When asked to comment on the activities of his players, owner Saruman The White held up his hands and said "What can I tell you? I've had ten players from various teams I own show up at training camp with some extraordinary increases in strength. I don't dictate how they improve, all I do is offer an incentive structure."

Indeed, in the high stakes world of Blood Bowl there is tremendous incentive for players to gain an edge. Some who are open users of these performance enhancers pull down three and four times the salary of starting position players. Whether the pressure comes from owners, coaches like Doc Pain, or fellow teammates like Busta this is a phenomenon reaching epidemic proportions, with some potential for long term impacts on players who use them.

The side effects of performance enhancers are a subject of continued debate. Some experts cite that members of Undead teams report more sluggish movements, an inability to sleep, loss of what little flesh they have left, and reduced reproductive capacity as benchmarked against their former living selves. Others claim that this research is comparing "apples to oranges" and refer to the unspeakable evil that has restored a sham of life to their corpses as the source of many of these complaints.

As FUMBBL considers a rules revision and the oversight committee examines some of these issues, players are already planning ahead. Some Ogres have already discussed strapping Goblins to the inside of their thighs for the proposed mandatory urine testing, getting their small "clean" friends to lend them a necessary sample.

As this statistic will show you, DivX got a huge boost last year in April. Since Khemri and Necromantic teams have been given the green light to play in Open division, DivX is a desert populated by tumbleweeds and little else. Is DivX doomed? Can only new "officially" experimental teams save it?

Now that Khemri, Necromantic and Elfs are in open and pact teams are no longer officially experimental, DivX FUMBBL has dried up. Few games are played there except for a lone brave stunty coach. No one wants to play against Ogres. Vampires' gazes were nerfed last rules review, and interest in them has dimmed. Hopefully there is a glimmer of hope for DivX.

Sources say that secret weapon positions may become officially experimental in the next Blood Bowl Magazine. That would allow implementation of these mayhem-causing linemen in DivX. Dwarves with chainsaws! Treemen beware! Along with this, there is the rumored Playtesting Vault that might happen over at Fanatic.

Sources say that the Playtesting Vault will be a place to try out officially experimental rules. Using DivX as our testing ground may be a key to enhance DivX interest. FUMBBL's feedback should be important to the Blood Bowl community as so many games get played here. If we do match DivX rules to the Playtesting Vault's rules we may become a important source of information for guiding the future of Blood Bowl.

DivX will not become a league we can personally experiment in. My own quest to get Brettonians into DivX was stemmed before i could say "Tis only a flesh wound." Another DivX Cup may be in the works, so if you like playing in tourneys you might want to get a DivX team in the TR200+ range to compete in it!

A fanatical and suicidal fan from Dovie'andi se tovya sagain's Gutter Runner star thrr'ii'wss intercepted the communication of his idol and was more then happy to share the contents of these letters with us, and thus also with you, our faithful readers.

Apparently thrr'ii'wss has been keeping in touch with an old rathood friend and rival, who is currently the top scorer on an undisclosed Skaven team.

We would like to use this opportunity to point out to thrr'ii'wss that we, being the GLN staff, in no way, shape or form, have anything to do with the actual interception of his mail. The blame for that rests squarely on the shoulders of this fan, whose address we're willing to divulge in exchange for an interview. If you had granted us one, in the first place it would not have had to come to this.

Anyway, on to the letters:

11 October 2503

Hah! Told you we would make it big one day! Coach has signed us up for the FUMBBL Cup II and has told me that he is counting on me to pull us through. In fact, he is counting on this cup to get rid of my main rival on the team, mister cheese himself, and the one-turner, thus making me the biggest Gutter Runner star. I'd watch out if I were you, perhaps your coach has a similar fate in mind... told you it's better to focus on the blitzing instead of the scoring. More flair, better teams. Told you so...

6 November 2503

Well, Just played the first game in the group stages against some Amazons . How did I play? Amazingly, if I say so myself. Moreover, I do not need to say it myself, because every single one of my teammates is saying it too. My fearsome presence on the field was the essential factor in this game. I did not actually score, or hit anybody, but! I drew nearly all of the opposing players' attention, their blitzes and their dirty fouls when I was temporarily down. Coach says that won us the game and that it will be harder next game but that I shouldn't worry and just rest, the concussion will wear off soon.

16 November 2503

Just wanted to let you know that they won the next match , even without me there. Could your team pull that off, eh? With the glory hogger that you are? Doubt it. Aaaaah, but do I look forward to getting in action again... I want to hit stuff! Get that ball! Wrestle it free, instead of getting it handed to me like a little... you. Hah!

18 November 2503

And another victory thanks to yours truly. Undead are just so slow and even a Mummy goes down before one of my mighty blitzes. Nothing is safe if they stand between a TD and me. Or if they have the ball. Or if I am just in a bad mood, really. In addition, I did something else you will never do... give the ball to a teammate so he can score. A little toss and presto, much goodwill around. Hit, toss, score, I did it all. Feels good, TD-boy, feels good.

23 November 2503

Right, You can scrape that gloat of your face right now, boyo! Yeah, we lost. Nevertheless, it was not my fault! I mean, that fool C'ndl'j'ck dropped the ball when I gave it to him, but I recovered that! I even did my patented move to get the ball out of the cage, it is not my fault the ball snagged on a horn and could not be recovered! It is certainly not my fault the fans rioted before I could set things straight! Because I would have, you can be sure of that. Now if you will excuse me, I feel the sudden urge to go and hit some Treemen. The sound of their falling soothes my nerves.

13 December 2503

Knock Out stages are here, and we refuse to be knocked out by some short Dwarves, no matter how strong they are. Once again I do it all, except for the actual scoring. Why should I? You should have seen it. Tackle zones? Tackle? What are those? My ball! That's what that thing is! Some people call it luck, I call it skill. Because that's what I am, skilled. No one trick pony here, like some I know... In addition, the plan worked... Our one trick pony, w'rrr'tt'nww died. My time in the spotlights is only just beginning, be forewarned!

16 December 2503

Coach is sending us to the mines, to build up stamina. Will not write or play for a while. Got to go.

General observations:
Playing Elves, any variety dark, high, wood or plain, is a tricky art. Having tried my hand at it with some success, I've been asked to share whatever insight I have achieved on the way.
The most important point is attitude. With Elves, the mind must always be focused on the ball. If you let yourself get distracted by bashing the opposition, disaster is imminent.
Second point is not to be seduced into foolish plays, simply because your players have high agility. The agility should be used to increase your safety margin, not as encouragement to take unnecessary risks. This is especially true on offence, since the defence of the Elves relies on hit-and-run tactics which are inherently risky.

Offensive play:
In my opinion, Elves should generally aim for a two turn touchdown, as any attempt at stalling is likely to result in players off the pitch. If possible, I like the classic flanking move, pouring as many players down one side of the field as I can. The aim is to cut the opposition off from your way to the end zone. If you can achieve that, the TD is almost in the bag. Of course, you should not be afraid to surprise an opponent with a running play, at least against light opposition.

Defensive play:
This will, naturally, be highly dependent on the nature, and actions, of the opposition. A few general pointers can be given, though. When playing a against a team attempting a slow drive, it is important to keep most of your players on the right side, between the ball and the end zone. If you get out of position, you will be virtually helpless. While you aim to keep your players out of harm's way, you must not be afraid to commit as many as it takes, if you see a chance to get to the ball. In addition to possibly gaining possession, this has the advantage of causing a complicated situation which can, with some luck, force the opponent to score earlier than he really wants. Agains fast teams, typically Skaven or other Elves, your best hope is to blitz the most dangerous reciever, crowd the others as best you can, send a player to threaten the thrower and hope for a failure. In general, your aim should be to force him to roll as many dice as you possibly can.

Skill choices and team design:
A key factor in keeping your team competetive, and alive, at higher team ratings is your skill choices. Firstly, what distinguishes the Elves is agility access of the Linemen, or Lineelves to be precise. It's imperative that this potential is used to the max. A consequence of this is that you should always score with a Lineelf if possible, as well-developed Lineelves are the hallmark of a good Elven team. For the LoS, you should aim to have players with Blodge (that means the combination of Block and Dodge - ed) and Side Step, for maximum inconvenience to the opposition. In fact, Side Step is the single best defensive resource available to Elves, and should be used as much as possible. If a Lineelf rolls a double, there is only one choice: Guard. For Throwers, I usually go Accurate, Safe Throw and Sure Hands on the main offensive one, taking Strong Arm on a double, and Sure Hands, Block, Dump Off on the other, then using a double on Nerves of Steel. For Blitzers and Wardancers I like to start with Tackle, then Dodge, Side Step and Shadowing. This works nicely also for Lion Warriors and Witch Elves, provided they get Block first. Also, at least one Leaping Strip Ball player is often a lifesaver. On a double a Blitzer should get Dauntless for taking out those ST4 ball carriers.

So ya wanna know how to cage do ya? Then I will try my best to help. Caging is generally the way the slow, bashy teams of the Blood Bowl field get their touchdowns. It is by no means easy and patience is required until you get a few skilled players. The principal formation of the cage is a ball carrier in the center with protecting players (typically 4) on each corner.

When you are setting up your offence, you should be looking at your opponent's deployment and look for any weak spots.This is where your cage will be heading (usually). From the kick off, when the ball has landed, you place a few blocks on the line of scrimmage so your opponent can't attack your front line at the start. Your Thrower then runs and picks up the ball and runs into the pocket. However, if playing against fast teams you should be prepared to have a couple of Blitzers back to protect your Thrower just in case the kick goes too deep and he is unable to reach the pocket. Let's assume he made it safely in....what now? (You should be picturing your geezer with the ball safely in amongst his own team, who are standing around in the middle of the field picking their noses.)This is the part where you begin the slow drive up the pitch, blocking and maiming all the way.

Don't be in a hurry to rush down. This is where cages fail, when the players get too spread out. Keep the ball carrier and his four guards nice and tight, and keep your stronger players nearby to clear the way.

If you have to stop a couple of turns to reform, don't worry. It's better to do this than to lose the ball - this is where the patience is required - and you should always finish a turn with the player with the ball being absolutely safe. If this isn't the case chances, are you are about to lose the ball?

Around about turn 7 or 8 you should be close enough to run in your TD (congratulations you just learnt to cage)!

So what skills do you want to take for the guys defending the ball git? Well, Block, Guard (pretty obvious) then Stand Firm on doubles so they can't be pushed around. Tackle is another choice to prevent those bloody AG6 players. As for the guy in the middle he/she/it really needs Block and Sure Hands to stop those Leaping Strip Ball players.

That is all I can think of for the basics. The piccies should help a lot.
Cheers,
Zy-Nox,
The Slave Pimp, Esq.

Once a Blood Bowler has dominated Open, played every DivX team, climbed the Ladder, ruled the Factions, and played in countless tournaments, they begin to look for new challenges. Rising to answer this challenge is FUMBBL's own homebrew leeg, Stunty. Stunty Leeg requires a style of play different from all other divisions. Players have strength of 2 (or 1!) across the board. Big Guys work in pairs or threes. Passing plays are desperation moves. Block is almost nowhere to be found and injuries happen in droves. Both because of and despite all this, Stunty Leeg manages to produce fast, fun games.

The Short and Tall of it
Or
Stunty Races

Stunty Leeg is composed of two classic Blood Bowl teams, Goblin and Halflings, as well as several new races. These races are:

Chaos Halflings: Halflings that have turned to the Dark Gods of Chaos. possessing Minotaurs, Trolls, chainsaws and physical mutations, Chaos Halflings (Or CFlings) are a carnage team.

Skinks: The little lizards grab a few Saurus buddies and head to the pitch to use their blinding speed to score touchdown after touchdown.

Nurglings: Halflings inflicted with Nurgle's Rot and accompanied by a pair of Beasts, Nurglings are a steady destructive force.

Snotlings: Very small goblins. With the right mix of players and a good coach their lack of strength can be offset to create a dangerous lasting team.

Fairies: Fast forest dwellers with a mix of skills accompanied by 3 Treemen, Fairies are fast, fragile, and dynamic.

Goblin Cheaters: A pack of goblins with many secret weapons. If they can avoid having half their team ejected, the Cheaters can quickly even the odds with bombs, chainsaws, and fanatics.

Gnomes: Smaller dwarves taking to the pitch and playing with mechanical ingenuity over brawn.

A Short Primer or What to Expect

Stunty games tend to be like stunty players: nasty, brutal and short. AV7 is considered to be heavily armored, so players die and get injured quickly. Also, the Stunty characteristic that your linemen start with adds 1 to all injury rolls, meaning casualties are more common. The Stunty restriction to passing (Stunty players pass as if going for one band further) makes passing more difficult and passing plays much less common. Most players have only access to agility skills, so normally common skills like Block, Tackle, Sure Hands, Pass, and Guard are almost non-existent in Stunty.

Despite all these drawbacks, Stunty players have a few abilities that add to the play. Almost every Stunty player starts with Dodge, meaning the impact of tackle zones lessens especially when combined with Stunty which allows for ignoring tackle zones when dodging. Prolific use of Throw Team Mate allows your Stunty to move about the field at express speed, since most Stunty teams have throwable players. Secret weapons are all over the field, making carnage reach new heights (for all teams involved). Stunty players are cheap, and you will often start with at least 13-14 players on your newly-created roster. Replacements come almost as quickly as players die, sometimes faster. Plus, after a few games, most players will realize that they don't really care if their players die.

Stunty is a fun league to try for beginner and expert players alike. It carries almost as many challenges and strategies as straight vanilla Blood Bowl. In the coming issues of the Grotty Little Newspaper, I will supply you with in depth information on each of the Stunty races, tips for building your team, and fun offensive and defensive strategies to cut your opponent's drive short and run the score up higher than your players can reach.

Love it or hate it, there is no neutral ground here. Pretending not to care about it actually means you do in fact care, but wish to not let anyone know about it - a useful tactic in its own right!

What makes "crowding" so useful is that it immediately gets rid of a player until the next drive. The REALLY fun bit is that the apothecary can't be used on any potential injuries! No armour roll either, straight to the juicy stuff. Most of the time the result is just stunned, but once in a while you can get nasty injuries and deaths! But at the least you're guaranteed to get rid of a player for a little while. This is my favorite way to do away with Wardancers, actually. Plus, it looks more innocent then fouling.

So what methods of crowding are available to us? Well, I'll tell ya! We're basically looking at four different methods of crowd surfing. I'm not going to list the odds and what not of success though, as it varies from situation to situation and player to player.

1.) Fool's Bane -- This is the classic error many new players make, leaving a player next to the sidelines without any protection. Simple blitz and off he or she goes.

2.) Friendly Shove -- When a player is one square away from the sidelines and is blocked and pushed to a friend who will then either block or blitz the player now near the sidelines into the crowd. Works wonders against Blodging elves. Who needs Tackle? Dodge that!

3.) But I was nowhere near the sidelines -- This is a lot harder then the rest, but can be worth it if you're trying to take out their best player. Let's say an annoying Blodge/MB/Guard Elf is 4 or 5 squares away from the sidelines. Most of your players don't have tackle. You can basically block (pass) this Elf all the way to the sidelines where someone can blitz or block him into the crowd. Some would say this won't happen, but the odds really aren't that bad and I've done it several times. It's a gamble to be sure (using up that many blocks for one Elf). But the rewards of having it off and potential death with no apothecary can be tempting and worth considering. The tough part is when you roll a POW/PUSH and you need to decide whether it's worth knocking him down or keep pushing him closer to the crowd. Regarding the images, I decided to use just three to show the technique.

4.) Multiple Squish -- I did this the other day and giggled uncontrollably, it's what makes Norse so much fun. Using Frenzy you blitz a player one square away from the sidelines into one of their teammates already by the sidelines, knocking the teammate into the crowd. If you failed to knock the first player down, you can then Frenzy them into the crowd and give his hurt teammate some company. I badly hurt 2 Gutter Runners in this fashion.

Those are the main methods, and there are variations in between. Many times you can set yourself up for crowding a player two or three turns in advance. Remember, when you control the ball you can lure Elves in for a chance to obtain the ball. Just remember, you're not trying to control the ball, you're trying to sucker the Elf into thinking you are! Frenzy is your best friend, so take it when you can on doubles.

Admins do a lot for you. Admins push games through, make up new division like Faction, push games through, host the site, implement new features etc.

Please give to the Save The Admins Fund.

Mr-Klipp says: "Please Give! I need 50 wolfriders for my Goblin Army."

Thank you for your time.

"I just played a game against gigatron.. I have to say this client is truly wonderful! Very nice job SkiJunkie!! Ok, so my enthusiasm may be tainted my the fact that I rolled quite alot of 6'es during the game.. But still.. Very nice client!
-- Christer"
Talkbloodbowl, June 19th 2002

"Hi, i really like using javabowl and as this is the only league using it i am considering joining. I was just wondering how it worked with regards to skill rolls and such like, cause i know the client doesn't handle this. Also with the open format how do yoyu find opponents easily without a chat room or something? and how often can i play games and how many times can i play an opponenet in a row etc? I find the site a bit lacking in information in regards to the finer details on how things work and such like.
Thanks for any clarification, Grumbledook"
Talkbloodbowl, September 22nd 2002

In the beginning there was nothing. Then SkiJunkie created JavaBloodBowl and Christer saw it and knew it was good. Christer thus called out to the world and soon after had found apprentices following him to form Jleague. After having spent sometime among themselves, the group opened up to the general public (already using fumbbl in the web adress) and started convincing the masses to join their cause. FUMBBL closed down for a Christmas break, and finally, a year ago, on January 3rd 2002, the transformation of Jleague was complete, due to the assistance of Mr-Klipp, and fumbbl.com opened up as a fully automatic system. Since then more than 100,000 matches have been played, and FUMBBL turned into one of the focus points of online Blood Bowl. Thank you SkiJunkie, Christer and Mr-Klipp for all your hard work, thank you Zy-Nox and Grumbledook for helping build the community, thank you to all the monkeys and gorillas coming later - and of course a thank you to all the coaches making this year a fun and worthwhile experience: Happy Birthday FUMBBL!

A day on FUMBBL back then

12:13 I log on to FUMBBL's IRC server, which is, as the page itself running on an old P200 at Christer's apartment. My new teams that I had submitted sometime yesterday around 23:20 have been approved by one of the three admins (Christer, Mr-Klipp and Zy-Nox) during the night (Grumbledook joined the team during January). A hefty discussion about the quality of the various types of paint available as well as about the latest second part of the Lord of the Rings trilogy currently in cinema is going on. Once in a while somebody tells BowlBot to do an age roll on Grumbledook - he niggles - or do a skill roll of somebody (4+3).

14:23 Trying to find a game by pasting a link to my overview into the chatroom, while telling people which teams (the new ones) I'd actually would like to play with. Several people contact me in the channel or via PM within a couple minutes and I decide to play against the closest team in TS (some Chaos with 23 TS on my rookie Amazons) not bothering to take a look at my opponent's roster. The connection details are shared publicly in the channel to give potential spectators a chance to join the game.

15:50 The game, played via direct connect, is over but the server is having hiccups - my opponent has to get back to work, and promises to try to upload sometime later today. As the page is unreachable for the time being, the 15 people that still are connected (6 of which are idle) turn #fumbbl into a general chatty type of IRC channel.

17:40 The page is still unavailable, Christer being afk for some time now, I log off to read a book.

23:15 Checking to see if the page is back online, which is the case and I notice that my opponent from earlier today has uploaded his match report already, so I try to do the same - the match, as a number others have already, gets stuck in the process though. As Christer is in bed already, and Mr-Klipp not yet available I will have to wait until tomorrow to ask one of them to push the result through. Bed time.

A day on FUMBBL today

13:30 Logging onto Afternet, where #fumbbl is situated today, to be greeted by BowlBot announcing a game that has just finished - a 1-1 tie. I also join another four or five channels connected to various tournaments, and other FUMBBL-related topics. There are about 90 people in #fumbbl at the time being, about 10 of them admins, gorillas or approval monkeys. BowlBot has about 90% of the lines spoken in the channel while there are hardly any discussions going on between the users.

13:45 Received 3 PMs offering games with Dwarves versus my Goblins - I decline all of them as I am neither in the mood to play yet, nor do I want to sacrifice a team I like and invested a lot of time in letting somebody else destroy them.

15:28 Present my teams in Open and DivX division looking for a game as none of my tournament or faction opponents is online right now by using the bblfg command that triggers BowlBot. My agility teams instantly get offers for games, my more bashy teams hardly do. Having learnt to be picky about my opponents, I carefully check both their TR/TS and their roster before deciding on any of them.

15:34 I host the game via proxy using the Play link behind the team I want to use, and notice several spectators joining in within a couple seconds after the game has started. Both teams are using personalized images for their players as well as an on field team logo. As usual, I get majorly screwed over by the dice and thus make my opponent happy.

16:15 Uploading the game takes less than a minute and BowlBot immediately after tells the public about yet another defeat for me. Somebody else conceded a high TR game and BowlBot tells us which of the players stay with that team and which ones don't.

19:58 Been afk for a little while, coming back to find 8 teams waiting for approval and several people in the channel asking how much longer it would take. I go through them - six are approved, one not and one is in a language I don't speak so I leave it in the line.

20:20 Agree to a game in Stunty Leeg, which means high casualties and generally insane ways of playing - winning is not as important to most people here as it is in Open and DivX division.

21:05 I click on the games page on fumbbl.com looking for a game to spectate and choose one at random from the list.

22:34 Tired of searching for another game in #fumbbl, I decide to join Cusi and Mr-Klipp for a couple rounds of Settlers of Cataan.

0:56 One of my Faction opponents comes alive and we start our game.

1:20 My opponent drops out of the game and #fumbbl after he made his third TD against me. A detailed set of rules explains what each of us has to do in such a case, none needed though as he returns to the channel within 12 minutes. I call it quits and head to bed after the game is over and uploaded.

The match between The Tylean Tyrants and The Zharrduk Juggernauts had been highly anticipated, I knew this was not going to be an easy win. We both had burned a lot of cash on the match; my fame (and a lot of cash) managed to bring in no other then Morg 'N' Thorg and a wizard. Zharrduk had flexed their monetary muscle as well and brought in Hthark the Unstoppable plus one of their dreaded lava mongering wizards.

The kick off went surprisingly well. Malthor put all his men in a broad offense in an attempt to dominate by sheer strength with a focus on the top side of the field, a solid strategy. The kick off result showed the Tyrants to be in perfect training, it was a perfect defense. Tyrant captain Areme shouted out a few orders and in mere seconds the entire team had repositioned, putting the Juggernauts in for a very hard ride. Malthor started out with a clean box in the middle, and it was not long before I put my wizard to work bringing down his troll, Hthark and 2 CDs leaving a small hole in his 11-man cage. I managed to slip two men through, 1-die blitz his Bull Centaur Kzakorag who had ball possession and grab it with my blitzer Tyrone. It wasn't to be a goal just then though, the next few turns the play was high risk with both teams failing critical rolls (me failing a stand firm dodge with reroll and Malthor failing his 3+ pickup with Sure Hands). Out of the five players I had with me on my rush for the ball, only two linemen remained. Both blitzers and my catcher had been KOed while Malthor still retained five players on the defense - three CDs, his ag3 bull centaur and a Sure Hands hobgoblin - the ball seemed lost to the Tyrants. At this point, the Tyrants had seven players on the field, the KO box was nearly full. Malthor failed 3 ball Sure Handed pick up rolls and had left the pick up attempts nearly unguarded, making one lineman pick up the ball and run down for a TD. It was a high risk maneuver involving a dodge, a 1-die blitz (just a pushback was needed), and a GFI (pic1). With a turn 6 score for the Tyrants, Malthor decided to use the two last turns of the first half in an attempt to pound on the Tyrants. He didn't move a single guy into a ball scoring position, instead trying to pound the Tyrants for a better chance of scoring in the second half. The Tyrants fans saw this and beat the ref into submission, giving the Tyrants yet another advantage on the kickoff. Malthor was first on the fouling board with his dirty player putting the Tyrants' ogre Mowen into the badly hurt box. The Tyrants' follow up fouls KOed a CD and niggled Malthor's only DP.

A daring and succesful 1-die blitz to get the ball is succesful!

--------------------------------------------------------------

2nd Half: The Tyrants strategy was an all out defense, the safest way to win the match. Malthor's wizard changed the situation quickly though, opening a hole for a BC blitz and the ball was in the clear. Malthor had the score set, but he decided to try for a touchdown delay with the ball on his bull centaur (pic2). It might not be obvious but it was a simple maneuver getting the ball: a dodge with an ag4 thrower (took the reroll) for the assist and a Stand Firm dodge/blitz gave a 1-die knockdown on the bull centaur. The captain once again showed his team how Blood Bowl should be played - the bull centaur was stunned! Malthor failed to bring the captain down and the Tyrants' next turn can be summarized by a handoff to an ag4 NOS thrower, a long bomb and a catcher dashing out in the clear with only 1 non-tackle bull centaur able to reach him. The BC was ST5, however, and managed to bring down the Blodge Side Step catcher (not unreasonable), he however failed to stun the catcher who dodged out, picked up the ball and scored the next turn (turn 7). Malthor decided again to use turn 7 and 8 for beating on the Tyrants to get some few SPPs out of the match, while the Tyrants were on a very deep defensive setup. The Tyrants won the match 2-0.

A decision to stall proves costly!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Thoughts after the match: I had never thought that I would leave the pitch with my apoth still ready. I had definitely expected more fouls from Malthor, but two fouls each, rated this game (as Wuhan would say) fair play! Malthor did not fare as well, he used apoth on a BH bull centaur early in the game, this cost him a niggle on his dirty player and a killed Guard Mighty Blow chaos dwarf. I had also expected a very boring match, but the Tyrants managed to dominate the style of the match, meaning insane maneuvers and the ball moving fast both ways on the pitch. Wizards definitely had a huge impact on the match, but the star players Hthark and Morg didn't really do much. In the first half they just beat on each other (ST6 vs. ST6) and the second half they both got tangled up in the midfield, beating down but doing no injuries and not really influencing the ball play.

Hello and Good-day all you bloodthirsty Blood Bowl fans. This is your local reporter informing you about all the exciting new tournaments in the FUMBBL world!

First off we tried to reach Bunnypuncher, a local Blood Bowl coach for a personal interview, but the jammy git seemed to be out of town, and was unavailable. But because we can not show up without a scoop we went out and got the information for ourselves! He has created a tournament called Lost Vegas Div-T Championship. He introduced gambling to the already action-packed game! So all you gamblers anonymous go and look for that Lost Vegas league! This truly unique concept will surely have lots of followers, and we hope the tournament will be a slamming success. The tournament is split up in three leagues. The Lightweighters are teams with 100-150 team rating. The Middleweighters play with team ratings of 150-200 and the Heavyweighters are 200+ rating. Anybody can go and try to be the champion by defeating the current champion. At the end of the season a golden victory belt will be awarded to each weight class to the team that won the most matches in that class... This will be very exciting to say the least! Keep posted for more info....

Secondly we took a look at the most idiotic and dehinged individual league. Its called S.T.U.P.I.D (Silly Tantalising Underpowered Pugnant Ignorant Dumbguys). The rules are simple, only idiots are allowed to play (one coach mentioned something of only players that cost 50,000 gold or less) no more than 12 players, no rerolls, and start with FF1 (nobody wants to watch these games). So far a few games have been played, and most say they really enjoyed it.

Finally, if anybody wants to have their tournament included in the Grotty Little Newspaper Dreadclaw a private message! We will try to write about it, interviewing the owner, and giving a fair and honest review of the thing!

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Wide World of Bloodbowl UPDATE by Commish Mully

The WWB is in its 4th week and going strong.

The four division leaders are Chaaarge!, coached by Ug, Grugni's Grudgebearers coached by Lurking Grue, Silver Pegasus coached by Neverdodge, and World of Sport Legends coached by m0nty. Not surprisingly, the teams that start off with Block have the early advantage. We'll see if they can keep that advantage the second half of the season.

The STAR of the league so far is hobgoblin Sam Newman of the World of Sport Legends with 6 TDs and 27 SPPs.
"I couldn't do it without my short and grumpy line, blockers Kevin Bartlett and Bobby Davis!" he said.
Dave Dickinson thrower for Mal Havoc is the passing leader with 9 completions.
Oddly enough the league has yet to see an interception in the first 40 games.

We have instituted sudden death overtime and, already, 11 games have been decided in this manner. This seems to be a big hit among the coaches.

Anyone interested joing an expanded league for season #2, sign up for the MINOR LEAGUE OF BLOODBOWL*
*play 12 games over the next 8 months, and wait for the invite.

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Commish Animal2020 of the Battle Bowl is looking for coaches with the will to try and survive through hell and back. Do you think you got what it takes to lead a group of coaches to victory?? Then sign up today name your country and lets get some teams shall we.

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Commish Ludakk is looking for a few dedicated Euro coaches to join the Brutal Blood Bowl League, your matches will start as soon as you join. Need a fresh tr 100 LRB team and you are good to go.
Thanks!
League Commisioner Ludakk

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55 coaches have taken up the challenge of the Anarchists Never Avoid Real Carnage! Hospitalizing Instant Stunty Tournament (A.N.A.R.C.H.I.S.T.). All of them have seen their FunFactor increase markedly. Seventeen mayhem-filled Instant Stunty Tournaments (ISTs) have been completed.

Tournament Highlights:

• DreadClaw leads the anarchist points race with 141 pts followed by Elara (136 pts), Fazer (130 pts), Criket (130 pts) and Rednight (113 pts).
• Goblins rampaged their way to 7 IST wins, Chaos Halflings carved their way to 4 IST wins, Snotlings pumped their way to 3 IST wins, Nurlings grinded their way to 7 IST wins and the Goblin Cheaters cheated their way to an IST win.
• ISTs are usually held on Saturdays at 6 PM BBT (GMT -1) and on Sundays at 8 PM BBT. Occassionally their has been such great demand that 2 ISTs have been run on the same day. The goal is to run as many ISTs as possible. If Evo is online and their are 8 [s] coaches ready to rumble, he will start an IST at any time.
• The group has steadily grown to 82 teams. More [s] coaches are welcome to join. Their is no commitment as you can play in as many or as few ISTs as you'd like. If the numbers keep on increasing, I may designate one day for Elite Stunty Teams and the other day for Newbie Stunty Teams (with a TR cap).
• To facilitate all this stunty mayhem, there is the #anarchist channel. It is used to coordinate the ISTs. Feel free to use it to hook up with other [s] coaches for normal stunty matches or to test out some of the experiMENTAL rosters for stunty (More on experiMENTAL rosters in the next issue of the GLN).
• To join the A.N.A.R.C.H.I.S.T. & for complete IST results

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Grimbreath Ironjaw
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Dysk Jockeye
Waykes and Retirement to-do's a specialty
*R*E*M* Irn Mayden Nearvana
Contact :Phone 1-800-sad-muzik
We regret that due to health and safety regulations we cannot accept bookings from Nurgle's Rotters teams

BigBear has some 40K models and was wondering if any one wants to swap Blood Bowl models for them OR any other models?

Cold as a Witches itty team captain Slavemaster officially challenges Virtuti Militari to a battle on the pitch. The challenge stems from owner JFK's cowardly refusal to play several weeks back, claiming itty had the stronger team. The dark elves of the lands are humiliated that the highest ranking dark elf team in FUMBBL could be soooo chicken. From team owner JFK's personal memos "I dont give a f--- about ranking, i just wana play bb, and have fun, if anybody thinks something else, i dont give a f---". Apparently there must have been some editing done, for the quote should have read "I do give a f--- about ranking, i just wana play bb, and win against hand picked opponents, if anybody thinks something else, i dont give a f---". The last 12 matches for these dodgers illustrates the point. Of the 12matches, 6 have been against our wussie Wood and High cousins, 2 against inferior Darkies, and 1 against a halfing team which was "out TR-ed by 120 points".One Skaven and one human match rounds out the 12. How embarrassing. Witches itty doesnt' expect to win this match against the much more agile Militari (4 AG5 players, 2 with leap), but we would at least like to know that the Dark Elf representative in the Fumbbl top 10 has the balls to face all competition. Otherwise we may have to change the race name from Dark Elves to Yellow Elves.

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This is it.
A public challenge.
Ex-GirlFriends coached by Zy-nox
hereby challenge Mercurial Autocrats coached by Grumbledook
To a game of the fair sport of BloodBowl.........
TO THE BLOODY DEATH!

I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!