“Unconsolable, head coach Lucan continued his crying, leaving the apothecary, as the only bretonnian speaker, to give the post match analysis.

"Well, I think it was an unlucky game. Started badly when one of the big ones got taken by a rock from the crowd, catching across the third thoracic vertebrate. Thought Id be needed, but Lucan didnt order me up, he just whimpered. Turns out he was only stunned briefly from the trauma, so that was OK. The little ones ran around and managed to get the thing over the touchdown after the humans messed up a throw. The little ones should have got another but one of them - I cant tell the difference - got caught by the humans throwers mere seconds away from the touchdown liney thing. Tried to dodge away but failed. The humans managed to get another goal. Then one of the big guys got hit by a different rock and got a radial fracture just on the lower femur. Woulda caused him alot of pain as well. Lucan by this point was drinking heavily so I took it on myself to patch him up. Seems like they werwe planning some kind of clever play as well, that that guy going down messed up. Something to do with pushing one of the little ones forwards by using humans. Anyway, failed. So we lost. I assume Lucan is going to spend the money on higher wages for me, but he's been out cold from alcohol for the last hour or so, so I'll cnofirm that when he comes round.”