“"After my hubris in the first matches, this is a fitting punishment... my haggard men were all suffering - it seemed - from too many celebrations... They were unable to accomplish the simplest of tasks, from handling the ball cleanly to knocking down the ball-bearing elves."

"Even the doctor was still drunk from premature revelries... my beloved Halil Irfan died under his cack-handed ministrations!"

"Yes, dear friends, Halil Irfan is dead. Abaza Kafkas is dead, too, but... Halil Irfan is dead. No more will he amaze and delight us with his silky movement and dervish dodging. We have awarded him the Most Valuable Player award for his final match."

"His body will be preserved in honey until he can be taken to my personal date-groves back home. There he will be interred to forever provide nourishment for more of my delicious and very reasonably priced treats."

"It is what he would have wanted"

(The Lesser Sultan broke down in tears at this point, sorrowfully cramming his mouth full of sweets even as he mourned)

"All this before the terrifying match against the infamous murderers of the Woodies Double Revenge... it is enough to make even the sweetest treat into ashes in my mouth; even the most alluring belly dance into a grisly danse macabre; enough to make me lose my mind"

(at this point an aide stepped forward and led the Lesser Sultan away, saying that Sheikh Kovert has clearly already lost his mind; the low, low prices on his luxuries were madness, bargain madness)

[I couldn't fight the dice, it is my usual custom to give the dice credit but little blame. On this occasion, though... I didn't make THAT many mistakes but I got pretty diced, especially early on, & JK took strong advantage of my many spills to score; his players were unbelievably lethal. Well played, JK, apparently Tuesdays are cursed for me too now!]”