“Tory rats would like to state in the interests of both their party's and race's honour that they got sent off for fouling THREE times not a mere two and would have continued to do so if either the opportunity presented itself or they thought it would do any damn good (they swear the human's had reinforced their armour b4 the game and switched their own for stuff made from tin foil). The ref who sent off 3 of our rats is currently missing, although was last seen entering a toilet block that was coincidentally next to our dressing room. Our dead thrower's remains will be respectfully fed to Maggie Thatcher, the team's rat ogre and to honour him, his position will not be filled until the team roster is 1 from completion or John Major dies. Hague's son Billy Boy has been plucked from training camp and drafted into the team as a lino and although he is still a little too small for his Dad's old armour, will be perfectly able to stand in the front line and take a pounding. Maggie is looking forward to seconds...”