“The Red Star Strikers celebrated their comfortable victory over the Watchmen long into the night last week, but their coach had one eye on Burning Passion, the Amazonian team who stood between the Strikers and an undefeated season. The Passion came to the park with some decent players, having benefitted from a whole season of football without running into the Strikers thus far. For them, a spot in the Conferences next season was up for grabs with the Nard Harpies and Skritzers Squeelers breathing down their necks.

The Reds lost the toss and kicked to the Amazons, but while the ball was in the air the pulled a sneaky trick to reconfigure their defence. When Jezzine fumbled a pass early, the Strikers got on the front foot. Vladimir Lenin promptly knocked out Sunete whilst Karl Marx put Chrystyne out for the rest of the game. Kliment Voroshilov, the young Troll Slayer, pushed Idona into the crowd. This resulted in Idona being carried to the KO box to recover beside Sunete. Jezzine finally got her act together and started rushing the ball, but before the Passion could mount too much of a recovery Ho Chi Minh knocked Voladea out cold. Leonid Brezhnev, the other Slayer, pushed Jezzine hard up against the boundary, trying to restrict her movement. She got away, but the respite was only temporary as Marx knocked the ball from her grasp before Matyas Rakosi sent Eva for the ride into the crowd. Meanwhile, Voroshilov fractured Hyza the Third's skull off the ball. Klaus Fuchs picked up the prune. The Zons made off after him but lacked the manpower. With quite the cage forming, however, the Burning Passion dugout began to glow as their hired wizard conjured a fireball which kncoked out Vyacheslav Molotov and stunned Fuchs. Luckily, despite no ball runners being around, Voroshilov was able to pick up the crumbs and run in his first touchdown on the halftime buzzer, but not before Dylena had badly hurt herself out attempting to smash Uncle Ho.

The Strikers seemed in control but the kickoff from Burning Passion could not have been worse. Every knocked out Amazonian woman managed to recover. Not only did they place a nice, shallow kick, they also caught the Reds flat footed and blitzed so that Idona
caught her own team's kick! Deng Xiaoping let his frustration show by hurting Gvene the Third. The Dwarves then boxed Idona in before eventually smashing her down and jarring the ball lose. Then the surfing started. Jezzine went for the ride. Pela shortly followed her into the crowd. Voladea then made the journey. Idona was then put out of commission for the rest of the game and Eva was bashed by Lavrenti Beria as the Strikers consolidated their grip on the game. Molotov made a break and scored the Reds' second touchdown with enough time for a third. Jezzine got the Zons away with a pass, but Eva culdn't pull off the catch. The Dwarves managed to pounce, but Klaus Fuchs couldn't pull off a pass to give Molotov a second touchdown and the score was 2-0 at the final bell.

The win caps a magnificent season for the Red Star Strikers. They maintain their undefeated record and won every game bar a 1-1 draw aganst the Grizzlebeard Crag Crushaz. Cynics may wonder, however, how the Strikers will go in the Conferences next season given their relative lack of experience cmpared to some of the other teams up there. Time will tell, but for now, the Red Army marches on!

Twahnlow Votes
3 - Jezzine

Made an early mistake but battled hard for the rest of the game.

2 - Idona

Nice move after the half and tried hard.

1 - Pela

Laid twice as many blocks as any of his teammates.
”