“Half-Time

Shaking his head, head coach Warmaster looked around the dugout for something, ANYthing to focus his rage on. His attention was momentarily redirected as he watched the halftime showgirls strut by, but then dinner had to wait...
"Roight ya bunch of pansie elves! Whats going on out there? Diaby what the hell we you thinking making an almost solo run in just the 3rd turn with no-one is support? Are you mad???" Warmaster screamed. "Nah Gaffer i 'ad Agbon wiv me" Diaby smuggly replied.
"Whats that son? You say you 'ad Agbon wiv ya... the *$^@ing goblin?!?! You are a right tosser ain't ya??" Warmaster almost burst with fury "But i'll tell you what you pathetic excuse for a maggots behind, if you don't put a score on the board before the end of this game, then you and Agbon are gonna find yourselves forever supporting each other after i have our team surgeon attach the little green bugger to your buttcheeks!!! NOW GET OUT THERE AND PLAY LIKE ORCS!!!

Full-Time

"Coach Warmaster! Coach! Can i ask you what was it you said to the players at halftime that managed to instigate such an amazing turn around?" A scrawny halfling reporter asked.
"Well Pudgy, i mearly sat my lads down and we had a frank discussion about the way we had gone about the first half and what areas we could improve upon in the second half. These lads just need a calm coach giving healthy and constructive advice". The coach replied, a healthy grin only marginally cheesier than his tie.
"Well what can you tell us about Diaby's celebration after his first touchdown?" Pudgy asked.
"I don't know sorry mate. I didn't see it. He didn't flash the crowd did he?" Warmaster laughed.
"Well no coach... he was caught on the vision screaming... and i quote " Yah Yah i get to keep my beautiful butt! Coach can't touch it now!" end quote" Pudgy looked over his glasses as he read from his notebook, a confused and slightly too enthusiastic grin cracking his face.
"Well mate you know these kids... must be a new fad or something... erm this conference is over" Warmaster yelled as he leaped the bench and ran out the door. "see ya next week!!"

”