“The Outlaw's first game in the Zlurp Nation league saw them running up against an old enemy of their head coach - Blocknroll. Outmatched from the start, Rark found himself a chainsaw and made a generous donation to the Referee's Widows and Orphans fund.

Having lost the toss, the Orcs set up defensively, weathering the first turn. Picking themselves up, each green-skin picked his cold-blooded opponent and prepared to go to town. Unfortunately, before any could move, Bolgrot, the hired help, raced forwards and knocked himself out with his own chainsaw. From there, the first half deteriorated into a strength war, in which the steroid driven Kroxigor was able to take his toll.

At the start of the second half, with Erigar Ghoul-Chewer lost to a mishap with a flying beer bottle, the Orcs looked to be in trouble. However, with a few strong moves, led by Bolgrot, the Outlaws found themselves on the right side of a man advantage; the Kroxigor was having its tail stitched back together after an encounter with a chainsaw.

Unfortunately this advantage was wasted by the Head Coach, who encouraged the ball carrier to race for the end zone. Confused by the speed of his advance, the other Outlaws were left behind, allowing the Lizards to retrieve the ball and run in a second touchdown in the dying seconds of the game.

A word from Rark: "Da Coach let uz down. 'e shood 'ave told uz dat da little wunz iz skwissy. We wuz wakkin da biggunz."”