“For starters, after having lost a cup match to an orc team earlier in the day, I was feeling rather volatile towards all things green, slimy, and with a habit of playing Blood Bowl. So, the ladies of These Girls Hit Back! were more than happy to extract some vengeance against all orcish kind in the name of their coach. That's one of the many reasons why I love these girls.


A pretty mean assembly of orcs lined up across from us as we kicked the ball deep into their half, bouncing(and saying in)to their endzone. The orcs started swinging, but not being able to knock anyone down they settled for marking as many 'zons as they could, and picked up the ball in the process. The girls wasted no time, knocking down some orcs, containing others, and dodging away from immediate danger. The action really begun to heat up as the orcs advanced the ball forward and brought Bob, their troll, into the fray. One detachment of 'zons moved forward in an attempt to get near the ball carrier, while another stayed at midfield to prevent anyone from breaking out as a potential receiver. Yet, that troll standing the midst of everything was going to be a problem. Problem, you say? Let me introduce you to Karen, also known as "The Problem Solver." Karen came in a leveled Bob with a mighty blitz, removing the troll from the pitch. So what if he regenerated? At least he wasn't going to be sticking his big troll nose in anyone's business for the rest of this drive. The orcs handed off the ball and dashed up towards the other wide zone, attempting to place a wall between the ball and these fierce Amazon warriors, but again Karen came in, demonstrating her can-opener technique, blitzing down the ball carrier, allowing Amber to come gather up the loose ball and take off towards the endzone. Olly their blitzer, came racing in to throw a blitz against Amber but only ended up injuring himself in the attempt. The orcs did their best to retaliate, but there were just too many 'zons in between them and the ball, and they could only watch as we went up 1-nothing.

With the orcs set up in a "throw the goblin" formation, we kicked another kick deep into the orc half(thank you Nuffle), but an awesome pass right to the goblin, followed by a short run, and the orcs were now in perfect position. They followed up by clearing away the 'zons standing at the line of scrimmage, including knocking Margaret unconscious for the rest of the match. Knowing that they had to stop that troll from attempting the pass, the girls set up all around, and signaled for Karen to come blitzing it. But in a surprise last minute improvisation, Karen threw a block against the goblin, knocking him out, and knocking the ball away, and with it, the chances of the orcs tying the game this half.

Down a player, the ball came in and settled close to the edge of the pitch in the widezone, and the girls starting make a play to cover the ball but also drill open a hole to advance through. But when the orcs met us head on in the direction we were going, the plan had to be changed, and with it, the direction. As the orcs all clustered in one widezone and center field, Karen was able to blitz out, skirting the edge of the opposite widezone, and put some distance between herself and the fray, as Maureen stepped up to midfield and threw a beautiful pass right over the line of scrimmage, and right over the heads of the orcs', into Karen's awaiting hands. It was epic. But an epic play desires an equally epic response. So as a orc blitzer marked Karen, Bob the troll made an attempt to get her back for earlier by launching the goblin directly at her. But, somewhere during the pick-up Bob forgot what he plan was, and after that, he decided that Klenie, the goblin he was holding, looked rather tasty. With a sickening "CRUNCH!" the goblin was gone, and still the fans went wild. Another blitzer managed to knock loose the ball and collect it during the pandemonium. It was at this point in the match that Julie got in on the action, blitzing down the orc with the ball, and catching said ball on the bounce. Try as the might, but they just couldn't stop Julie from entering the endzone, making it 2-0.

We were outnumbered 9 to 10 kicking off to the orcs, but a block thrown by one of their black orcs was turned back against them, thanks to the judo skills of Corinne, making it 9 on 9. Until a failed dodge took out Michelle, that is. 8 on 9. This allowed the orcs to come within potential scoring distance. So we did the only thing we could: stepped in front of them and sent Corrine to sneak up behind them and wrestle the ball carrier down. The ball bounced away, and though the orcs recovered, there was nothing that could be done. Even the last block thrown by the orcs was a skull.

Final: 2-0

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All rage against orcs aside, coach puerrhe and his team took a dicing on this one. I mean, how often do you lose your goblin to Always Hungry? Anytime you would like a rematch, I will be happy to oblige.”