“Radio Tranmission taken of the Marine Radio call of the Mayhems opening match.

"....Welcome to the mayhems first test of mettle against a non-simulation opponent..."
"...Thier oppenents are some of the most frightening creatures ever to take the battlefield, clowns. beware thier big funny feet!"
"...The clowns are staying in thier trenches trying to slowly advance the front line..."
"...There's a break in the defense, Clarabell seiezes the intitative, she's making her way toward the goalline, big feet a flappin'..."
"...TD for Clarabell..."
"...Late in the first half the Mayhem offensive makes a bold move towards the endzone..."
"..Attilla the Hun unleashes his fury, the ball is up, its coming down in a crowd..."
"...Genghis Khan is stumbling out of the pack, he has the ball..."
"...Like the true mongol that he is, he celebrates his score with some raping and pilaging on the sidelines!!!..."

"...The second half is just begining, it look awful slippery out there folks..."
"... He's taken a tumble..."
".. he goes down..."
".. he loses his feet..."
"...he can't keep his balance..."
"...He is triped up by his own feet..."
"... He slipped on a hand grenade..."
"...What is wrong with these people, nobody can stand up straight!..."
"..And so the second half ends scoreless with niether team able to stand up straight for more than 10 seconds, it ends a draw here 1 all..."

End transmission”