just when he was gettin good at foulin, Ham got killed by a stinky elf in this match. Something happened next which will teach me a lesson... I got the apo to save him! The apo brung him back again but he was so unagile that after the game he couln't even bend down to go to the toilet on the floor as is the post-match tradition. He wasn't even agile enuff to reach his poxy books from the shelf!

He cried all the way home. He loved pooin on the floor. And reachin his books. For him, being brung back to life but not all in one piece wos wrose than death to him. He couldn't really play ball any more so I had to fire him. But I've decide that he is the last goblin I will ever fire! From now on, all goblins will play til they die! No one else will suffer the same fate as Ham! Not on my watch! Not on my team!

Ham is now the official book-keeper of the Stompers. Truth be told though, he's a bit rubbish an we don't really need a book-keeper; I might fire im from that too.