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Past Players of We Crunch When We Die
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Picked by a lame arsehola | Lineman | 2 | 0 | d | |
| 1 | Fouled to death by the dirtiest of dirty players | Gutter Runner | 1 | 1 | Dodge | -st |
| 3 | Outbashed by Ogres | Lineman | 1 | 0 | d | |
| 11 | Oh No! There's a Man Down. | Lineman | 5 | 0 | -ma, d | |
| 4 | Spanked | Lineman | 3 | 0 | m, n | |
| 5 | Squashed | Lineman | 4 | 5 | d | |
| 4 | Spanked | Lineman | 2 | 0 | m, n | |
| 4 | Ouch | Lineman | 1 | 0 | d | |
| 14 | O sry | Lineman | 1 | 0 | m, n | |
| 11 | Crowdpushed after Three Ones Consecutive | Lineman | 4 | 0 | d | |
| 4 | So broke. | Lineman | 2 | 0 | m, n | |
| 7 | Pwned by a much better coach | Lineman | 2 | 0 | d | |
| 4 | Fouled to death by the dirtiest of dirty players | Gutter Runner | 2 | 7 | Dodge | d |
| 2 | The Departed | Lineman | 12 | 0 | m, n | |
| 6 | Run over by angry orcs | Lineman | 14 | 12 | Block | d |
| 16 | Pwned by a much better coach | Lineman | 3 | 5 | d | |
| 15 | Crowdpushed after Three Ones Consecutive | Lineman | 3 | 0 | d | |
| 14 | The Departed | Lineman | 3 | 0 | m, n | |
| 1 | Dead, just, dead. | Gutter Runner | 16 | 42 | Dodge, Very Long Legs, +MA, Block | d |
| 5 | Steamrolled by a Khemri Mummy | Lineman | 11 | 0 | m, n | |
| 10 | Diced | Lineman | 21 | 7 | Block | -ag, d |
| 11 | So broke. | Lineman | 8 | 0 | -ma, -ma, d | |
| 10 | Diced | Lineman | 2 | 0 | d | |
| 10 | Diced | Lineman | 1 | 0 | m, -av | |
| 16 | Crowdpushed after Three Ones Consecutive | Lineman | 9 | 0 | m, n | |
| 15 | Dead, just, dead | Lineman | 7 | 2 | d | |
| 14 | The Departed | Lineman | 10 | 5 | m, n | |
| 5 | Steamrolled by a Khemri Mummy | Lineman | 9 | 6 | +MA | m, n |
| 6 | Run over by angry orcs | Lineman | 13 | 7 | Block | |
| 11 | So broke. | Lineman | 9 | 9 | Block | |
| 2 | Uber Block Dice | Lineman | 14 | 7 | Foul Appearance | d |
| 10 | Thumped | Lineman | 7 | 0 | m, -ag | |
| 4 | Sploosh | Lineman | 17 | 5 | d | |
| 16 | Dead, just, dead | Lineman | 5 | 10 | Foul Appearance | m, n |
| 5 | Steamrolled by a Khemri Mummy | Lineman | 3 | 0 | m, -st | |
| 15 | Crowdpushed after Three Ones Consecutive | Lineman | 5 | 9 | Block | m, n |
| 14 | Thumped | Lineman | 3 | 0 | m, n | |
| 10 | Sploosh! | Lineman | 2 | 0 | m, n | |
| 5 | Caught Under-foot of a Jackbooted Thug | Lineman | 3 | 0 | d | |
| 1 | The Flattened | Gutter Runner | 17 | 32 | Dodge, Block, +MA, Side Step | d |
| 12 | The Only Good Rat is a Dead One | Storm Vermin | 32 | 22 | Block, Guard, Tackle | m, n |
| 8 | Oh no, there's a man down. | Gutter Runner | 14 | 29 | Dodge, Block, Side Step | m, n |
| 4 | Splat | Lineman | 9 | 7 | Block | m, -st |
| 7 | Fouled to death by the dirtiest of dirty players | Gutter Runner | 27 | 60 | Dodge, Block, Very Long Legs, +ST, Side Step | n |
| 12 | 16 turns of n00b foul fun | Lineman | 2 | 0 | m, n | |
| 12 | 16 turns of Ogre fouling fun | Gutter Runner | 1 | 0 | Dodge | m, n |
| 2 | Uber Block Dice | Lineman | 14 | 16 | Block, Dirty Player | -st |
| 6 | Couldn't knock over a Blodge Amazon and paid dearly for it. | Lineman | 15 | 17 | Block, Tackle | |
| 10 | Snakes for the loss in the Endzone | Lineman | 12 | 0 | d | |
| 4 | Splat | Lineman | 6 | 0 | m, n | |
| 6 | Diced | Lineman | 2 | 0 | d | |
| 6 | Diced | Lineman | 1 | 0 | m, n | |
| 5 | The Flattened | Gutter Runner | 13 | 59 | Dodge, Block, Side Step, Sure Feet, Sprint | |
| 11 | Run Over by a Deathroller | Lineman | 16 | 0 | m, -st | |
| 6 | Splat | Gutter Runner | 2 | 3 | Dodge | d |
| 3 | Ripped Apart by the Crowd | Storm Vermin | 48 | 46 | Block, +MA, Guard, +ST | m, n |
| 12 | Three Niggles in one turn! | Lineman | 3 | 0 | m, n | |
| 11 | Run Over by a Deathroller | Lineman | 3 | 2 | m, n | |
| 10 | Eaten by a Beast | Lineman | 5 | 7 | Block | d |
| 6 | Splat` | Lineman | 5 | 5 | m, n | |
| 8 | Oh no, there's a man down. | Gutter Runner | 17 | 65 | Dodge, Block, +AG, +AG, Side Step | -ag |
| 6 | Snakes for the win in the Endzone | Lineman | 2 | 5 | d | |
| 6 | The Blown Apart AKA Blunderbuss Special | Lineman | 1 | 0 | d | |
| 2 | Ogres a Piling | Lineman | 13 | 10 | Block | d |
| 7 | Fouled to death by the dirtiest of dirty players | Lineman | 18 | 15 | Foul Appearance | m, n |
| 4 | Decapitated by a Chainsaw | Lineman | 12 | 4 | d | |
| 1 | That's got to hurt. | Gutter Runner | 24 | 57 | Dodge, Block, Side Step, Sure Feet, Sprint | |
| 2 | Oh no, there's a man down. | Storm Vermin | 5 | 6 | Block, Guard | d |
| 6 | Ogres a piling | Lineman | 6 | 5 | m, n | |
| 6 | Ogres a piling | Lineman | 1 | 0 | m, n | |
| 14 | Couldn't knock over a Blodge Amazon and paid dearly for it. | Lineman | 10 | 5 | d | |
| 5 | The Flattened | Gutter Runner | 17 | 46 | Dodge, Block, Side Step, Sure Feet | -av |
| 7 | Decapitated by a Chainsaw | Storm Vermin | 5 | 13 | Block, Guard | d |
| 13 | Noob fouled on turn 16 | Lineman | 69 | 65 | Foul Appearance, Block, Tackle, +AG | d |
| 10 | my liver...MY LIVER! | Lineman | 11 | 3 | d | |
| 1 | That's got to hurt. | Gutter Runner | 9 | 16 | Dodge, Block, Side Step | n |
| 2 | Oh no, there's a man down. | Lineman | 7 | 7 | Block | m, n |
| 12 | One more bites the dust | Gutter Runner | 13 | 48 | Dodge, Very Long Legs, Sure Feet, Block | d |
| 9 | The Only Good Rat is a Dead One | Storm Vermin | 33 | 16 | Block, Guard, Tackle | -av |
| 11 | Uncontrolled Hemoraging | Gutter Runner | 16 | 49 | Dodge, Block, Very Long Legs, Nerves of Steel | -ma, d |
| 8 | The Blown Apart AKA Blunderbuss Special | Lineman | 13 | 16 | Block, +AG | m, n |
| 7 | The Flattened (By a Deathroller) | Lineman | 3 | 0 | d | |
| 6 | The Departed | Lineman | 6 | 0 | d | |
| 5 | The Squished | Lineman | 4 | 2 | d | |
| 4 | Owwwww | Lineman | 7 | 2 | d | |
| 3 | Stop breaking on me. | Lineman | 19 | 39 | +AG, Block, +MA | d |