| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries |
7 | Booty Sniper | Halfling | 4 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | m, n |
11 | Professor Spankquake | Halfling | 2 | 1 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | m, -ag |
7 | Spandexo | Halfling | 4 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
13 | Sherriff Drunk | Halfling | 3 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | m, n |
14 | Count Blackboard | Halfling | 8 | 1 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | m, n |
7 | Telephonetron | Halfling | 2 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | m, -ma |
5 | Magical Reviewer | Halfling | 9 | 16 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, +MA, Sure Hands | d |
14 | Accountantatron | Halfling | 5 | 5 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
13 | Gravity Idiot | Halfling | 6 | 3 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
11 | Pudding Slayer | Halfling | 10 | 16 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Catch, Sure Feet | n |
10 | King Lemming | Halfling | 13 | 5 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | -av |
9 | Boring Goober | Halfling | 3 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
7 | Pastry Devil | Halfling | 5 | 3 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
5 | Spank Mystic | Halfling | 4 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
3 | Champion Yawner | Halfling | 7 | 6 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Side Step | m, n |