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Past Players of Woodies of Mass Distraction
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5 | Bright Eyes | Lineman | 3 | 0 | d | |
| 4 | Sigh | Lineman | 2 | 8 | Block | d |
| 9 | Candy 4.0 | Lineman | 3 | 1 | m, d | |
| 7 | Lapdancer 4.0 | Lineman | 16 | 1 | -ma, -ma, n | |
| 13 | Naughty Underwear | Lineman | 2 | 5 | d | |
| 11 | Linger | Lineman | 18 | 13 | Wrestle | -av |
| 6 | Lingerie 2.0 | Lineman | 23 | 24 | Wrestle, Tackle | m, d |
| 9 | Candy 3.0 | Lineman | 7 | 2 | d | |
| 8 | Brighteyes 4.0 | Lineman | 17 | 2 | m, -ag, -ma, m, -ag | |
| 17 | Xavier Vileorc | Lineman | 1 | 0 | d | |
| 10 | Perfume 2.0 | Lineman | 15 | 20 | Block, Dodge | -ma, d |
| 17 | Richard Darklightning | Lineman | 1 | 5 | d | |
| 5 | Glance 6.0 | Lineman | 21 | 19 | Block, Dodge | m, m, n, -ag |
| 1 | Bill's Winning Grin | Lineman | 13 | 5 | -ma, m, -ma, d | |
| 2 | Flashdancer 4.0 | Wardancer | 5 | 5 | Block, Dodge, Leap | m, d |
| 4 | Looker 4.0 | Lineman | 16 | 0 | -ma, m, -av | |
| 5 | Cheeky Smile | Lineman | 1 | 0 | d | |
| 10 | Perfume | Lineman | 6 | 8 | +AG | d |
| 17 | Alexander Hardfist | Lineman | 1 | 0 | d | |
| 11 | Glance 5.0 | Lineman | 11 | 0 | d | |
| 7 | Lapdancer 3.0 | Lineman | 20 | 12 | Block | -ag, n |
| 21 | Paul Vilestream | Lineman | 1 | 0 | d | |
| 17 | Sean Vilefield | Lineman | 1 | 0 | d | |
| 1 | Bill Brasoak | Treeman | 16 | 22 | Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Strong Arm, Thick Skull, Loner, Take Root, Throw Team-Mate, Grab, Guard | m, d |
| 8 | Brighteyes 3.0 | Lineman | 21 | 13 | Block | m, -ag, n |
| 5 | Glance 5.0 | Lineman | 17 | 3 | -ma, -ma, d | |
| 7 | Lapdancer 2.0 | Lineman | 8 | 5 | -ma, -av, d | |
| 9 | Candy 2.0 | Lineman | 25 | 29 | Block, Wrestle | -ma, -ma |
| 8 | Brighteyes 2.0 | Lineman | 4 | 5 | d | |
| 5 | Cutie 4 | Lineman | 4 | 0 | d | |
| 11 | Glance 4 | Lineman | 14 | 15 | Block | -av, -av, d |
| 2 | Flashdancer 3 | Wardancer | 26 | 58 | Block, Dodge, Leap, Tackle, Side Step, +MA, Sprint | -av, -av |
| 12 | Laughter | Lineman | 43 | 35 | Block, Dodge, Side Step | m, m, -st, -av |
| 11 | Glance 3 | Lineman | 5 | 11 | Block | -st |
| 9 | Candy 2 | Lineman | 11 | 22 | Block, Guard | d |
| 2 | Flashdancer 2 | Wardancer | 4 | 0 | Block, Dodge, Leap | m, m, -av |
| 4 | Looker 3 | Lineman | 28 | 19 | Tackle, Guard | -ma, m, -ag, -ag, d |
| 11 | Glance 2 | Lineman | 6 | 14 | +ST | d |
| 5 | Cutie 3 | Lineman | 16 | 8 | Block | m, -ag, -ma, d |
| 1 | Oak Billsky | Treeman | 31 | 42 | Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Strong Arm, Thick Skull, Loner, Take Root, Throw Team-Mate, Guard, Block, Grab | d |
| 5 | Cutie 2 | Lineman | 7 | 8 | Block | -av, n |
| 10 | Sweetie Pie 2 | Lineman | 31 | 35 | Block, Dodge, +MA | d |
| 4 | Looker 2 | Lineman | 22 | 17 | Leader, Guard | -ma, d |
| 11 | Glance | Lineman | 21 | 14 | Block | m, m, d |
| 10 | Sweetie Pie | Lineman | 5 | 3 | d | |
| 9 | Candy | Lineman | 24 | 4 | m, m, d | |
| 8 | Brighteyes | Lineman | 31 | 19 | +MA, Block | m, m, m, m, -ma |
| 7 | Lapdancer | Lineman | 33 | 28 | Guard, Block | m, m, d |
| 6 | Lingerie | Lineman | 58 | 61 | Block, Dodge, Kick, Guard | m, m, m, m, -ag |
| 5 | Cutie | Lineman | 5 | 5 | -ma, d | |
| 4 | Looker | Lineman | 2 | 5 | d | |
| 3 | Dirty Dancer | Wardancer | 23 | 37 | Block, Dodge, Leap, Tackle, Dauntless, Mighty Blow | m, m, n, d |
| 2 | Flashdancer | Wardancer | 23 | 96 | Block, Dodge, Leap, Tackle, Strip Ball, Wrestle, Dauntless, Side Step | -ma, m |
| 1 | Bill Oaksky | Treeman | 11 | 13 | Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Strong Arm, Thick Skull, Loner, Take Root, Throw Team-Mate, Guard | -st |