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"Move the ball down the field, take it one game at a time, and hear the lamentation of their women"











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SEASON-BY-SEASON RECORDS



3-4


This began as the worst team in Beerox's history with an 0-3 start. The Supreme Being hates me! But as soon as I started hating him back, things started clicking.

13-0


KPL Champions! It was once believed that Khemri would be the peons of KPL for eternity. Through hard work, hard luck, and hard boozing, the Heretics dispelled this false prophecy.

2-5


Makes season 1 look like a nice day at the beach.

12-1


After a nail-biter Championship Match, the Heretics once again raise the big banner.

9-3


Survived two tough playoff games to reach the KPL final, but ran out of steam and got beat up in a 2-1 loss.


ELIXIR OF IMMORTALITY


The coveted Elixir of Immortality is an honour bestowed upon the top player on the Championship team. However, the player's transcendence to immortality means that they will leave their team. The Heretics drink a lot of these things, and have lost some great talent! But these guys earned an undeath of luxury.

The Ayatollah of Lawn Mowing

Never one to fear the spiked ball, The Ayatollah of Lawn Mowing was a consistent star for the Heretics. His level of play continued to rise until reaching demigodly heights in the Season 2 Championship Game. Flawless ball handling, 2 TDs, and the effortless snag of a wet, bouncing 2nd half kickoff confirmed his greatness to all the KPL fans.

The Ayatollah now spends his days enjoying crack, whores, and every KPL match. Long gone are his days of keeping the grounds nicely trimmed. Those duties are in other hands now, but he still oversees all landscaping matters and has promised to eliminate all unworthy lawn laborers in Khemri.

Master Ramen


The Heretics have never been a bashy team. As a matter of fact, I don't know what they do well! They have never raised a banner, well except for Division Titles, Conference Titles, and KPL Titles. But if one player ever struck fear into opponents, it was Master Ramen.

Q & A


Question: Why Church 'n Chick'n?
A solid question there, and surely near and dear to many hearts. There is no clear answer, and the team owner lives in secrecy. In any case it should be noted that the ever powerful Male Heretic:aged 18-34 demographic is a hotly contested target for sponsors. Many rivers of blood and money have been spilled to steer the eyes of young heretics towards the hottest brands of booze, toilet paper, bottle rockets, chewing tobacco, antifungal ointment, and hot, juicy, crispy, flavorful 12-piece buckets of Church 'n Chik'n with large side orders of Burning Biscuits.

Question: Is that a Lion?
No, you knob. It's a Werewolf.

Question: Who receives our allegiance?
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Tomb Guardian
4 5 1 9
Decay, Regeneration
Block
  30 0 1 0 4 0 11/16 130k
(100+30)k
 
2
Tomb Guardian
4 5 1 9
Decay, Regeneration
Guard
  19 0 0 0 1 2 12/16 120k
(100+20)k
 
3
Tomb Guardian
4 6 1 9
Decay, Regeneration
Claw, Mighty Blow, Block, Pro, Grab, Multiple Block, +ST
  33 0 0 0 22 2 Legend
54
300k
(100+200)k
 
4
Tomb Guardian
4 5 1 9
Decay, Regeneration
Block, Mighty Blow, Guard, Thick Skull, Grab
  61 0 0 0 33 4 86/176 210k
(100+110)k
 
5
Skeleton Lineman
5 3 1 7
Regeneration, Thick Skull
Dirty Player
-ag 60 0 2 0 1 1 13/16 60k
(40+20)k
 
6
Skeleton Lineman
5 3 2 7
Regeneration, Thick Skull
Dirty Player, Kick
  21 0 0 0 0 2 10/31 80k
(40+40)k
 
7
Skeleton Lineman
5 3 2 7
Regeneration, Thick Skull
Wrestle, Tackle
  29 0 1 0 6 2 25/31 80k
(40+40)k
 
8
Anointed Blitzer
6 3 2 8
Block, Regeneration
Mighty Blow
  14 1 1 0 1 1 11/16 110k
(90+20)k
 
9
Anointed Blitzer
6 3 2 8
Block, Regeneration
Mighty Blow
  20 0 0 0 5 1 15/16 110k
(90+20)k
 
10
Anointed Thrower
6 3 2 7
Pass, Regeneration, Sure Hands
Leader
  9 0 2 0 0 0 6/16 90k
(70+20)k
 
12
Skeleton Lineman
5 3 2 7
Regeneration, Thick Skull
  5 0 0 0 0 1 5/6 40k
(40+0)k
 
13
Skeleton Lineman
5 3 2 7
Regeneration, Thick Skull
Wrestle
  21 0 0 0 0 2 10/16 60k
(40+20)k
 
14
Skeleton Lineman
5 3 2 7
Regeneration, Thick Skull
Dirty Player
  12 0 0 0 0 1 5/16 60k
(40+20)k
 
15
Anointed Thrower
7 3 3 7
Pass, Regeneration, Sure Hands
+AG, Block, +MA, Tackle
  32 0 19 0 1 2 69/76 180k
(70+110)k
 
14 players  
Coach: Beerox Re-Rolls (140k): 2  
Race: Tomb Kings Fan Factor: 10  
Current Team Value: 1870k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 600k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1870k Apothecary: No  

Games Played:62 (41/5/16) |TD Diff:32 (72 - 40) |Cas Diff:-16 (75/58/31 - 93/60/27)
Last Opponent: Ka Sabar Conquerors

  For   Against  
Opponent Race TV SPP Cas Gold Score TV SPP Cas Gold Gate
Lybaras ServitorsNecromantic Horror990k92/0/050k0 - 11000k164/0/070k13k
Khemri Dust TigersTomb Kings990k72/0/060k0 - 1990k100/2/270k21k
Rasetra ReaversTomb Kings870k50/0/050k0 - 21000k130/1/080k12k
Beremas BludgeonersNecromantic Horror1060k121/0/040k2 - 01070k91/1/060k18k
Zandri Starlight CorsairsVampire1070k151/1/070k2 - 01060k102/0/060k12k
Ka Sabar ConquerorsShambling Undead1140k92/0/060k0 - 11250k122/1/020k17k
Ka Sabar FalchionsNecromantic Horror1180k163/1/050k2 - 11160k121/0/270k18k
Beremas Bone ShakersTomb Kings1240k50/0/020k0 - 01120k50/0/050k18k
Nagashizzar NightwatchShambling Undead1400k121/1/070k1 - 01410k71/1/040k25k
Lahmia SabersVampire1410k101/1/080k1 - 01060k113/0/020k18k
Mahrak VaticanTomb Kings1500k211/4/060k2 - 11290k183/2/020k26k
Quatar Kickin' BonesVampire1440k202/0/150k3 - 11380k150/2/030k24k
Rasetra ReaversTomb Kings1450k203/0/070k3 - 01310k144/0/040k26k
Nagashizzar NightwatchShambling Undead1470k190/4/040k2 - 11410k142/1/020k32k
Lahmia SabersVampire1430k173/0/160k2 - 01050k50/1/060k21k
Lybaras ServitorsNecromantic Horror1550k162/0/050k2 - 11670k100/1/010k34k
Mahrak VaticanTomb Kings1520k222/2/070k3 - 01390k111/1/150k27k
Rasetra ReaversTomb Kings1550k121/1/150k1 - 01670k91/1/020k38k
Ka-Sabar BedouinShambling Undead1550k171/2/260k2 - 11590k143/0/040k32k
Quatar NobnibblersNecromantic Horror1520k173/0/180k2 - 01390k51/0/050k35k
Sun Temple PilotsTomb Kings1580k101/1/030k1 - 21490k151/2/140k34k
Lybaras WolvesNecromantic Horror1310k111/1/150k0 - 11620k80/1/040k32k
Bhagar Dune RaidersTomb Kings1350k70/1/130k0 - 11870k152/1/230k27k
Rasetra ReaversTomb Kings1520k192/2/180k2 - 11810k173/1/160k36k
Ka Sabar ConquerorsShambling Undead1600k50/1/020k0 - 21620k162/1/240k30k
Rasetra Epicurean ClubVampire1590k141/2/080k1 - 01320k142/2/020k25k
Ka-Sabar BedouinShambling Undead1610k50/0/040k0 - 21720k144/1/020k29k
Ka Sabar ConquerorsShambling Undead1540k50/0/030k0 - 01260k50/0/030k28k
Lybaras Sand PoundersTomb Kings1660k171/1/250k2 - 11800k163/1/020k24k
Sons of DraculVampire1680k203/1/240k1 - 01270k111/2/160k29k
Lybaras WolvesNecromantic Horror1570k162/1/150k2 - 11750k120/1/140k31k
Ka Sabar ConquerorsShambling Undead1750k100/1/080k1 - 02070k112/3/060k29k
Ka-Sabar BedouinShambling Undead1580k120/3/030k1 - 21640k132/2/060k30k
Rasetra ReaversTomb Kings1600k131/2/060k2 - 11740k162/1/360k29k
Numas NightTerrorsVampire1570k120/3/050k1 - 01390k70/1/030k29k
Lybaras WolvesNecromantic Horror1640k151/1/060k2 - 01720k90/2/060k31k
Numas NummulitesTomb Kings1690k122/0/050k2 - 11740k81/0/150k36k
Lybaras Sand PoundersTomb Kings1650k50/0/070k0 - 01610k50/0/070k29k
Lybaras Wild AnimalsTomb Kings1690k100/0/160k1 - 01350k71/0/010k20k
Ka Sabar ConquerorsShambling Undead1760k122/0/070k1 - 01570k72/1/030k33k
Lahmia Life DrinkersVampire1660k151/1/060k2 - 11320k141/3/060k23k
Ka-Sabar BedouinShambling Undead1760k192/3/020k2 - 11910k81/1/060k38k
Bhagar Dune RaidersTomb Kings1740k133/1/260k1 - 01820k134/1/140k34k
Zandri MerchantsTomb Kings1590k141/1/130k1 - 21480k171/1/160k28k
Quatar NobnibblersNecromantic Horror1640k92/0/060k0 - 11790k143/0/270k43k
Numas Tomb LordsTomb Kings1630k120/2/040k1 - 01260k92/0/020k29k
Numas Tomb LordsTomb Kings1630k50/0/050k0 - 01380k50/0/030k26k
Ka Sabar ConquerorsShambling Undead1640k150/1/170k2 - 11780k100/1/150k35k
Quatar NobnibblersNecromantic Horror1600k212/3/050k2 - 11710k121/0/140k33k
[L] Charnel Valley StalkersShambling Undead1590k101/0/020k1 - 21630k192/4/170k34k
Cothique Sea GuardsElven Union1630k50/0/040k0 - 01410k50/0/030k30k
Quatar Brutal BattlersTomb Kings1720k142/1/060k1 - 01470k194/3/010k28k
Rasetra RandroidsVampire1530k101/0/180k1 - 01480k81/0/050k26k
Quatar NobnibblersNecromantic Horror1820k111/0/250k0 - 21760k131/0/060k33k
Lahmia Life DrinkersVampire1770k186/1/050k1 - 01410k100/1/020k29k
Numas Tomb LordsTomb Kings1800k161/1/280k1 - 01350k92/0/060k27k
Bhagar Dune RaidersTomb Kings1860k131/0/180k1 - 01930k90/2/040k30k
Ka-Sabar BedouinShambling Undead1830k90/1/220k0 - 12000k124/3/170k37k
Zandri Zand ZcourgeTomb Kings1780k172/1/060k2 - 01470k50/0/050k33k
Mahrak Dune ImmortalsTomb Kings1820k120/1/260k1 - 01260k101/0/120k31k
Ka Sabar ConquerorsShambling Undead1830k141/1/130k2 - 11610k133/0/050k36k
Ka Sabar ConquerorsShambling Undead1880k90/1/150k0 - 11560k205/2/150k41k