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Ratatat Rapide
P [R] Skaven

Hailing from the tiny island of Saroux, off the coast of Kaldoria, Ratatat Rapide are the greatest team the simple country folk of Saroux have ever seen. Coached by the ex-Admiral Lord Anzelak Stonefist, a disgraced Kaldorian Dwarf nobleman, they have achieved outstanding success on the island. Of course, they were one of only two teams. And they've won once. Let's see how they do in the real world.

26th March 2012: Ratatat Rapide storm to victory over fan favorite 'fling team Like Giants, in spite of an intensely hostile crowd and a raging blizzard that interfered with much of the game. They win by five touchdowns to nil but Charlie Chokes is killed in the opening turn and two players are seriously injured and must sit out the next game. Rite Wing, a Gutter Runner, is nearly killed when an enraged fan launches a breeze block at his head but apothecary Dr Gividdarub saves his life. Two Gutter Runners skill up and take wrestle and new linerat El Fazimao is hired. A pair of useless journeymen are conscripted to take part in the next match-up due to injuries.

<table style='border-collapse:collapse;border-spacing:0px;font-size:1em;border:1px solid black;'><tr style='background: #000000; color: #FFFFFF;'><th>Top</th><th>Name</th><th>#</th></tr><tr class="odd"><th style='text-align:left;'>Games</th><td><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skrunner1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592365'>Voramute Squeak</a><br /><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skrunner1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592372'>Lashiite</a><br /><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skrunner1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592373'>Rite Wing</a><br /><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skrunner1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592374'>Urdish the 19th</a><br /><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skstorm1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592375'>Colonel Krenshar</a><br /><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skstorm1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592376'>Sergeant Squaffy</a><br /><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/sklineman1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592379'>Artemis Bitey</a></td><th>7</th></tr><tr class="even"><th style='text-align:left;'>Completions (19)</th><td><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skrunner1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592373'>Rite Wing</a></td><th>7</th></tr><tr class="odd"><th style='text-align:left;'>Touchdowns (18)</th><td><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skrunner1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592365'>Voramute Squeak</a></td><th>6</th></tr><tr class="even"><th style='text-align:left;'>Interceptions (0)</th><td></td><th>0</th></tr><tr class="odd"><th style='text-align:left;'>Casualties (7)</th><td><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skstorm1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592376'>Sergeant Squaffy</a></td><th>3</th></tr><tr class="even"><th style='text-align:left;'>Most Valuable Player (7)</th><td><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skstorm1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592375'>Colonel Krenshar</a></td><th>2</th></tr><tr class="odd"><th style='text-align:left;'>Star Player Points (122)</th><td><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skrunner1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592365'>Voramute Squeak</a></td><th>27</th></tr><tr class="even"><th style='text-align:left;'>Rushing (289)</th><td><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skrunner1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592365'>Voramute Squeak</a></td><th>75</th></tr><tr class="odd"><th style='text-align:left;'>Passing (50)</th><td><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skrunner1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592365'>Voramute Squeak</a></td><th>19</th></tr><tr class="even"><th style='text-align:left;'>Blocks (185)</th><td><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skstorm1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592375'>Colonel Krenshar</a></td><th>66</th></tr><tr class="odd"><th style='text-align:left;'>Fouls (0)</th><td></td><th>0</th></tr><tr class="even"><th style='text-align:left;'>Scoring Thrower</th><td><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skrunner1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592365'>Voramute Squeak</a></td><th>4</th></tr><tr class="odd"><th style='text-align:left;'>Blocking Thrower</th><td><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skrunner1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592372'>Lashiite</a></td><th>1</th></tr><tr class="even"><th style='text-align:left;'>Blocking Scorer</th><td><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skrunner1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592372'>Lashiite</a><br /><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skstorm1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592375'>Colonel Krenshar</a><br /><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skstorm1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592376'>Sergeant Squaffy</a></td><th>1</th></tr><tr class="odd"><th style='text-align:left;'>Triple</th><td><div style='text-align:center;width:38px;display:inline-block;'><img src='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL/Images/PlayerIcons/skrunner1.gif' /></div> <a href='https://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&player_id=8592372'>Lashiite</a></td><th>1</th></tr><tr class="even"><th style='text-align:left;'>All-rounder</th><td></td><th>0</th></tr></table>

26th March 2012: A squeaker of a game secures a second victory for the Rapide as they overcome HoloNorsed - a new Norse outfit. An outstanding personal performance from Colonel Krenshar secured a clutch winning touchdown, and he also claimed the rat's first team kill against a Norse Beserker worth 90k.

27th March 2012: The Rapide overcome a Dwarf team with a blitzkrieg of a first half, bagging themselves three touchdowns before their diminutive opponents knew what happened. The longbeards tighten up their defence in the second half, but they can't find a way through and Ratatat achieve their second shutout victory.

27th March 2012: A fierce rematch against HoloNorse began one-sidedly with the Rapide taking an easy 2-0 lead. But the Norse regrouped and brought it back to 2-2, dealing a raft of casulties - a kill, a miss next game and a -1 AV. But Ratatat pulled it together and secured the 3-2 win.

30th March 2012: After a semi-successful double game venture with a new Orc outfit, Coach Stonefist told The Daily Cheeze - the official Ratatat blog – that he was glad to get back to coaching his primary team. He told the Ratatat fanzine that coaching Orcs had amazed and surprised him: ‘I can’t believe that a race of creatures stupider than rats exists. My hammer, those Orcs are dumb.’ Coach Stonefist led the Black Lake Greenboyz out against two Elf outfits. They played a bashy, caged game and won their debut game 2-1. Their second game was far more disappointing. They dominated the game but horrendous strategic errors and an incoherent ball protection strategy led to them losing the game to a battered and bruised Wood Elf team.

Stonefist wasn’t pleased. He believed the Orcs had ignored key instructions and engaged in a furious six way brawl with four key players, injuring three of them. ‘I may try and appreciate coaching these vermin today after the way those Greenskins threw away that game. I might try to be less violent with them; less hard on them.’ But the Coach quickly reverted back to his usual coaching style with the Rapide as he was seen mercilessly pummelling Rite Wing for getting a manoeuvre wrong during a last minute passing practice before the game began.

The game against Charlatan Rathletic ended 3-3 and was probably the Rapide's most entertaining outing to date. And while their winning streak came to an end with the draw, blitzer Colonel Krenshar gathered himself the +1 strength skill up after a phenomenal game. Krenshar makes, on average, 7.6 blocks per game. He has two touchdowns, two MVPs and a casualty to his name.

1st Arpil 2012: A lacklustre performance from the rats against a well oiled Wood Elf team results in the Rapide's first loss. Coach Stonefist told the press straight: 'We weren't good enough.'

3rd April 2012: An utterly wretched performance from the rats resigns them to another defeat. Storm Vermin Sergeant Squaffy (+1 MA) is at least saved from death by the apothecary – the only person on the team who had a good game. Ol' Lahare (niggling injury) and Rite Wing's (smashed collar bone; -1 ST) careers both come to an end. The darkest day in the Rapide's history so far.
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Voramute Squeak
Gutter Runner
9 2 4 7
Dodge, Weeping Dagger
Wrestle, Dauntless
   8 4 7 0 0 1 30/31 120k
(80+40)k
  
2
Lashiite
Gutter Runner
9 2 4 7
Dodge, Weeping Dagger
Wrestle, Side Step
   8 3 5 0 1 1 25/31 120k
(80+40)k
  
4
Urdish the 19th
Gutter Runner
9 2 4 7
Dodge, Weeping Dagger
Block, Side Step
   8 6 3 0 0 1 20/31 120k
(80+40)k
  
5
Colonel Krenshar
Blitzer
7 4 3 8
Block
Dodge, +ST
   8 0 2 0 2 2 20/31 170k
(90+80)k
  
6
Sergeant Squaffy
Blitzer
8 3 3 8
Block
+MA
   8 0 1 0 3 0 9/16 120k
(90+30)k
  
8
Jakob Chokey
Lineman
7 3 3 7   6 0 0 0 0 1 5/6 50k
(50+0)k
  
9
Artemis Bitey
Lineman
7 3 3 7   8 0 0 0 0 1 5/6 50k
(50+0)k
  
10
El Fazimao
Lineman
7 3 3 7   7 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 50k
(50+0)k
  
11
Skarloey
Lineman
7 3 3 7   4 0 1 0 0 0 3/6 50k
(50+0)k
  
17
Ian Whitesnake
Journeyman Lineman
7 3 3 7
Loner
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 50k
(50+0)k
  
9 players  
Coach: Gentlerat Re-Rolls (120k): 3  
Race: Skaven Fan Factor: 4  
Current Team Value: 1170k (±180) Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 60k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1170k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:8 (4/1/3) |TD Diff:7 (19 - 12) |Cas Diff:-6 (6/0/2 - 4/7/3)
Last Opponent: Primeval Titans