Rover McGinley: "So Varag, would you say your biggest contribution to the team is your inspirational leadership, your strategic genius, or simply your unparalelled rushing ability?"

Varag Ghoul-Chewer: "Yeah."

Rover McGinley: "A remarkable insight. Now, could I ask about team selection? It has been commented that you have continued to pick the same eleven players for each game. Is this because you think you have struck on a winning formula or because, and you will appreciate this is not my view, you can't count past eleven?

Varag Ghoul-Chewer: "Dayz me Boyz."

Rover McGuinley: "Facinating. Now Varag, what do you say to critics who say the Gouged Eye are not the killer force they used to be? I mean looking at the statistics for this season the team has only injured..."

[Thwack, scream, aaaggghhhh! Help! Please someone hel...]

Varag Ghoul Chewer: "Smart Arz."

[Rover McGinley hobbles into the interview studio. The cameras home in on the various cuts and bruises and bandages, and in particular his new tatoo "Varag Wuz 'Ere"]

Rover McGinley: [Trembling] "Mr Painspear...ummm...may I say how well you are looking today? If you wouldn't mind sir...ummm...please could I ask you a few questions...ummm...if it's not to much trouble?"

Krug Painspear: "Uh?"

Rover McGinley: [Still trembling] "Ummm...Mr Painspear...you have the leading casualty count for the Gouged Eye this season. Please could I ask sir, what is the secret to your success?"

Krug Painspear: "I 'itz 'em, 'ard." [Krug fixes McGinley with a stare that could kill a Troll]

Rover McGinley: [Turning white and physically trembling] "Ummm...uh...thank you so much for your time Mr Painspear. Ummm...it was so very kind of you to speak to me...ummm... I am a great fan of yours you know...ummm...I think that will be all...ummm...it was so kind of you to speak to me...ummm...I am so terribly grateful...ummm...if there is anything I ca'...."

[Thwack-thwack-thwack-thwack "Aaaggghhh!" thwack-thwack-crack-squelch]

Krug Painspear: "Az Kizzer!"