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2017-03-15 19:34:26
34 votes, rating 5.9
34 votes, rating 5.9
The Ballad of Piling On
I skilled up my blitzers, knowing it wouldn't take long,
To give them Might Blow and Piling On,
Jump Up on a double, to add to the twist,
Or mutating a Claw, if they had access to it,
Ice ran through my veins, all opponents' whines were moot,
If Piling On didn't work, I gave their players the boot,
Blood splattered freely all across the pitch,
Taking great joy in making other coaches quit.
Until the day when a foul wind blew,
Bringing an end to the only playstyle I ever knew,
With eliminating Piling On as an available skill,
How would I play? Oh how would I kill?
"Positioning" they say, though I have no idea what that is,
"Scoring Touchdowns" say others, but I believe that they kid.
Players I cannot kill, and a pitch I cannot clear,
My opponents all score, the spectator’s laughter I hear.
Opponents run amuck, I have no way in which to stop them,
All of my Chaos teams and now defeted by goblins.
Anon
(Last line changed from "My last grandfathered CPOMBer was just fouled to death by a goblin" upon revelation that Piling On would be removed from existing players.)
To give them Might Blow and Piling On,
Jump Up on a double, to add to the twist,
Or mutating a Claw, if they had access to it,
Ice ran through my veins, all opponents' whines were moot,
If Piling On didn't work, I gave their players the boot,
Blood splattered freely all across the pitch,
Taking great joy in making other coaches quit.
Until the day when a foul wind blew,
Bringing an end to the only playstyle I ever knew,
With eliminating Piling On as an available skill,
How would I play? Oh how would I kill?
"Positioning" they say, though I have no idea what that is,
"Scoring Touchdowns" say others, but I believe that they kid.
Players I cannot kill, and a pitch I cannot clear,
My opponents all score, the spectator’s laughter I hear.
Opponents run amuck, I have no way in which to stop them,
All of my Chaos teams and now defeted by goblins.
Anon
(Last line changed from "My last grandfathered CPOMBer was just fouled to death by a goblin" upon revelation that Piling On would be removed from existing players.)
Comments
Posted by JJB on 2017-03-15 20:25:17
A superb display of genius and skill. This should be set to music.
Posted by Throweck on 2017-03-15 20:28:25
Hah! Jim...if it's ok with you I'll set this to music for the podcast :D
Posted by Jim_Fear on 2017-03-15 20:46:37
For you, Throweck, of course. In my head it went A-E-Bm-D-E,(think Mazzy Star's "Fade Into You") but feel free to set it to whatever chord structure and melody you like.
Posted by Throweck on 2017-03-15 21:01:57
Well I can play those chords. Would you prefer guitar or Ukelele?
I was going to talk it like a beat poem.
I was going to talk it like a beat poem.
Posted by Jim_Fear on 2017-03-15 21:05:49
Ukulele and bongo drums. Very beat.
Posted by Wreckage on 2017-03-15 22:13:05
This is very good.
Posted by licker on 2017-03-15 22:17:05
Very nice, I would prefer 'bitch' to 'quit' myself ;)
For some reason I was trying to 'sing' (as little as I can do that) it to Run to the Hills.
For some reason I was trying to 'sing' (as little as I can do that) it to Run to the Hills.
Posted by pythrr on 2017-03-15 22:35:40
has PO now been removed?
Posted by JellyBelly on 2017-03-15 22:37:43
Jim_Fear - you are a spoony bard! :P
Posted by Jeffro on 2017-03-15 22:48:01
KEGGIE!! Fear has thrown down the Rap Battle Gauntlet. You wanna take this one or should I!?
Posted by Malmir on 2017-03-15 23:05:16
I heard 'The Lonesome Death Of Hattie Carroll'. Was I meant to?
Posted by Jim_Fear on 2017-03-16 00:34:29
Thank you all for the praises. It was written with a simple rhyme scheme so that it will fit to most melodies (yes, even "Run to the Hills"), old and new. Any relation to songs written by Bob Dylan is purely coincidental, unless you're looking at my blogs from last year.
Who's the jerk who voted this less than a 6?
Who's the jerk who voted this less than a 6?
Posted by thoralf on 2017-03-16 02:34:04
I was tempted to vote this a 1, because PO.
But Throweck's ukulele turned it into a six.
But Throweck's ukulele turned it into a six.
Posted by thoralf on 2017-03-16 02:35:42
"Positioning" sang like "Run to the hills" goes to 11.
Posted by Jim_Fear on 2017-03-16 06:31:41
After hearing it in my head for the last few hours I may rework the lyrics to be sung to the tune of Iron Maiden's "Run to the Hills" as a version 2 of this poem.
Posted by BillBrasky on 2017-03-16 11:27:16
Sadly, they seem to be converting Piling On, to Mighty Blow... So they will just disappear suddenly.
Can't make everyone happy. Seems like a throw back to LRB 4 to me. Time for some DP Khemri!
Can't make everyone happy. Seems like a throw back to LRB 4 to me. Time for some DP Khemri!
Posted by CroixFer on 2017-03-16 13:16:20
If they offer a new skill instead of PO, I would rather ask to change aslo Jump up, as some players with Jump up have so due to PO... And it would be pointless without PO...
Posted by Badpublicity on 2017-03-16 15:02:55
Great Poem! i would however change last bit from.:
Opponents run amuck, I have no way in which to stop them,
All of my Chaos teams and now defeted by goblins.
To
Opponents run amuck, I have no way of making them stop,
To run over my chaos team, ohh stop this evil gobbo dream.
Opponents run amuck, I have no way in which to stop them,
All of my Chaos teams and now defeted by goblins.
To
Opponents run amuck, I have no way of making them stop,
To run over my chaos team, ohh stop this evil gobbo dream.
Posted by Badoek on 2017-03-16 17:28:32
Well done Jim, well done.
Posted by Bakunin on 2017-03-16 17:30:02
Oh what a holy chant of Nuffle!
Posted by Rbthma on 2017-03-16 23:15:48
wow! A bit late to the party, but that's magnificent - wish we could get this blog to sit at the top of the blogs forever
Posted by Jim_Fear on 2017-03-17 00:50:34
Thank you, Rbthma. Worry not, something else will happen soon enough and another poem will be posted. Maybe it will be as good, maybe it will be worse. Or maybe it will be better.