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2022-10-14 00:00:38
14 votes, rating 5.2
14 votes, rating 5.2
CIBBL Y10 Spring Predictatron news feed
PREDICTATRON Y10
After rumbling and rambling, bleeping, steaming and vibrating and humming for almost two weeks, it is finallly time. The Predictatron seems to be ready with its complicated, obscure, heavily biased and unreliable steam-powered algorithms. We are here, in the CabalVision main office tower, to interview the senior principle head programming gnome. The only creature in the world that has a high enough intelligence to be able to interface with this incredible machine.
Q14. Control question
First, let us take a look to the accounting, checks and balances. To be sure that the Predictatron was working fine, without external fraudulent influences by Goblin vandalists, Wizard enchanters or Snotling mechanics, we added a control question "Who is the best CIBBL reporter". Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
"Well.... you can see that the vast majority, of a total of 10,915 votes voted in favor of Blagga Gobspite. This was a bit unexpected and odd, as we would not have dared to assume that more than 10,000 votes would have been able to be collected by the Predictatron. Clearly, the latest software and hardware updates were highly successful, and the algorithm was able to collect much more data than we had anticipated. Luckily enough, the final answer that 300% of the voters support Blagga was in line with our expectations. So we can safely say that this round of Predictatron calculations occurred nicely within regulations and set boundaries."
Youngbloods
Next, let us take a look at the Youngblood tourney. This question was not handled by the Predictatron, but instead, was answered by an old fashioned survey using carrier pigeons. Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
"Well, what is clear from this question is first, and most of all, the superiority of the Predictatron. The Predictatron was able to collect more than 10,000 votes, whereas this old fashioned quill & ink survey only add up to a mere 11 votes. But, even taking into consideration the poor statistics of this questionnaire, it is obvious and without of doubt that the Frozen Steppes Raiders will win this Youngblood Tourney. The pressure is on!"
Q1. Southlands & Araby
Bleep bleep hum pfff prrrr. The Predictatron produces yet another prediction. Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
”The Predictatron is very, very sure on this one. 76.7% chance that Nejaz Djinn will win the Araby & Southlands competition. This is the most certain prediction of all Predictatron predictions of this prediction season! The tiny little fact that Nejaz Djinn lost their opening match 1-2 against Temple of Skulls Crocodiles is just a minor setback, surely. We trust the machine, don’t we?”
Q2. Who will win Albion and Norsca?
Bleep krgkrg bleep bzzz hum pfff tsh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“For some reason, the Predictatron algorithm promotes Dwarfs. This is frustrating, as we really spent a lot of time this year to find the bug, and we were hoping to release a new patch in time. Maybe we will be able to make a new software release next year. For now, we will have to do with this prediction: Stones Forgers will win Albion and Norsca.”
Q3. Who will win Athel Loren?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“The Predictatron had some hard computations to do this season, for the always calm and reproducible Athel Loren forest competiton got firmly stirred up by an invasion of a pestilence skaven clan! This did cause quite a turmoil. The Deluge-Bearers pestilence team enters at a high score of 27.9% and pushed the other traditional top contender Wraiths of Woe to a third spot at 18.6%. However, the uprising of pestilence was not enough to beat the record Athel Loren champion holders of Modryn’s Midnight Meddlers. With 46.5% they firmly keep hold of their #1 top spot position.”
Q4. Who will win Cathay & Nippon + Ind?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“The tentacles of the Predictatron are long and sticky. They reached all the way to the outskirts of the world to collect data of the competition in Cathay, Nippon and Ind. And for all we know the Predictatron could be right, for who else would know what goes on in those faraway, dark, and overgrown lands? The competition is a division of three top-teams that together have 93% of winning. But, it must be said, there is only one true top-contender. The Predictatron does not lie: Blood Naga is a top-tier team.”
Q5. Who will win Haunted Hills?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“When I first saw these results, I honestly thought there were only three teams competing in the Haunted Hills! Of the three teams, Livin' Thing has the highest winning chance of 41.9%, followed by Tempelhof Wolves with 27.9% and Bleakwood Haunters at 25.6%. But, if you take a magnifying glass, and look very, very closely, you can still detect a very tiny chance of winning for the other two teams of about 2% each. There is always hope for these teams, I suppose..."
Q6. Who will win Lands of the Dead?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“This question is an insult to the calculation capacity of the Predictatron. Even a lowlife goblin, writing his calculations with a stick in the sand, could have predicted that The Everlasting Vultures of Settra would win this one. True vultures they are, preying on the corpses of their opponents. Even the summoning of air and earth elementals that do not have corpses that can be fed upon did not decrease the Vulture’s winning chances in the slightest."
Q7. Who will win Chaos Wastelands + Lustria?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“An interesting competition, the northern wastes of the world vs the southern end of the world. I can imagine this competition is sponsored by travel agencies making huge profits on the many supporter traveling going on. However, on the prediction side it is less interesting. Again, a very, very clear result: 58.1% winning chance for the winner of this competition, Dark Room Delights. Everyone with more brain cells that a troll could have known this. These simple questions start to bore me, so please only come back after you’ve finally actually defined a useful question that is predictatron-worthy."
Q8. Who will win The Dark Lands?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“Finally, finally, FINALLY! Finally you give me a question worthy of the Predictatron calculation capacity. We had to involve a lot of parameters in this calculation to make the differences between the teams significant. The chance that the hobgoblin slaves revolt against the slavers, the chance that the ogres forget which date they had to play a match, the chance that the ogre kingdom lost an internal battle to republicans, the chance that the black dwarfs got a lucrative matchfixing offer, the chance that the referee sends off all orc big ‘un, and the chance that the chaos dwarves chose to raid the village rather than play a bloodbowl match in it. After some weight factor optimization and number tweaking, we ended up with a clear winner: The Wolf Land Slavers will win The Dark Lands, but ony by a margin of 7%."
Q9. Who will win The Deep Caverns?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“Now this is a particularly tricky question. The answer is easy. But the question itself is difficult. You see, in most competitions the teams agree to a common set of rules and scoring mechanisms. And if it’s one thing thet computing machines like, it is a clear set of rules and boundary conditions. For The Deep Caverns this is different. There are two teams with a very high chance of winning: Karak Azog Outlaws, that follows a touchdown-based scoring system, and Lump and Da Snots, that follows a multi-factor S.N.O.T. based scoring system. And the point is, both teams have almost 100% chance of winning, in their own scoring system. The Predictatron had to go one level deeper: What is the chance that the scoring system itself gets used? To be able to compute this we had to interview many stakeholders in the CIBBL headquarters and put their inputs into a rules prediction system. We give the S.N.O.T. system roughly 23.3% chance to be used, versus 55.8% for the plain and old touchdown-based scoring system. This means that Karak Azog Outlaws is the most probable winner.”
Q10. Who will win The Empire?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“The Empire a male dominated society? Guess again. The Matrons of Malice are on a rampaging campaign of female dominance. While doing so they left a trail of bloody massacres on many a pitch. Y9 Autumn's Bronze Division? 26 casualties for, 2 against. Y9 Summer's S.Sang's Sensational Series? 37 casualties for, 3 against. Y9 Spring's The Empire? 18 casualties for, 5 against. In all their matches combined this murderous crew of vile women has managed a casualty difference +104. Who will stop them, and how? The Predictatron does not see a viable candidate that can put an end to their reign, and keeps the Matrons of Malice at a winning chance of 60.5%."
Q11. Who will win The Old World + Daemons?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“How is it possible that the ‘Old’ World gets invaded by ancient beings from another plane of existence, and yet, still, nothwithstanding these words implying old age, this regional tournament is filled with fresh young teams without any actual pitch experience? The Predictatron flagged any suggestion that it was making a calculation for a regional spring tournament as ‘highly unlikely input’. It is convinced it made a calculation for a Youngblood tourney instead. We can’t really blame the Predictatron for this. As none of the teams has had any seasoning, the least inexperienced of the bunch has the highest chance of winning: Knights of the Blazing Sun at a percentage of 41.9%."
Q12. Who will win Ulthuan & Naggaroth + Ocean?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“Let’s start with the good news: There is a chance that this competition will not be won by elves. That chance is 11.6% to be precise. Queen Amphinome’s Revenge will bravely represent all those non-pointy eared fans out there. The bad news: There is 88.4% chance that the competition will be won by pointy eared passing, dodging and jumping gallery players. Of those pointy eared, the region’s most probably winners are Eye and Arrow with 51.2%. Dökkålfar Dreki follows second, with a winning chance of 23.3%. That good 2nd score can not really be attributed to their prowess on the pitch, I presume, since they are not the most stable performing team. It’s more likely that it has to do with the good articles and nice reads they give in their Dökkålfar Dreki Fanzine."
Q13. Who will win Worlds Edge Mountains?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“Who would have thought this? The Dwarf competition is by far the most diverse, well balanced and colourful. All teams competing have a reasonable chance to win it, varying only between 9.3% to 23.3%. The highest winning chance is for Karak Kadrin Oathkeepers, and the best team by far is Black Water Angling Society (Go for it fellow Gnomes!). I really love the shape of this pie chart with all its colours and nice and even distributions. Can I keep this print-out, to pin it on the wall above my bed?"
The next morning
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Let’s see which competition has now been evaluated…! Oh. Bogus. There is no prediction. Must have been the sound of the wind.
The next night
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! No, wait. It was just a dream.
The next week
Sitting here for more than a week now, but the Predictatron remains silent. Counting the days on the wall until next Spring. When the Predictatron can shine again...
After rumbling and rambling, bleeping, steaming and vibrating and humming for almost two weeks, it is finallly time. The Predictatron seems to be ready with its complicated, obscure, heavily biased and unreliable steam-powered algorithms. We are here, in the CabalVision main office tower, to interview the senior principle head programming gnome. The only creature in the world that has a high enough intelligence to be able to interface with this incredible machine.
Q14. Control question
First, let us take a look to the accounting, checks and balances. To be sure that the Predictatron was working fine, without external fraudulent influences by Goblin vandalists, Wizard enchanters or Snotling mechanics, we added a control question "Who is the best CIBBL reporter". Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
"Well.... you can see that the vast majority, of a total of 10,915 votes voted in favor of Blagga Gobspite. This was a bit unexpected and odd, as we would not have dared to assume that more than 10,000 votes would have been able to be collected by the Predictatron. Clearly, the latest software and hardware updates were highly successful, and the algorithm was able to collect much more data than we had anticipated. Luckily enough, the final answer that 300% of the voters support Blagga was in line with our expectations. So we can safely say that this round of Predictatron calculations occurred nicely within regulations and set boundaries."
Youngbloods
Next, let us take a look at the Youngblood tourney. This question was not handled by the Predictatron, but instead, was answered by an old fashioned survey using carrier pigeons. Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
"Well, what is clear from this question is first, and most of all, the superiority of the Predictatron. The Predictatron was able to collect more than 10,000 votes, whereas this old fashioned quill & ink survey only add up to a mere 11 votes. But, even taking into consideration the poor statistics of this questionnaire, it is obvious and without of doubt that the Frozen Steppes Raiders will win this Youngblood Tourney. The pressure is on!"
Q1. Southlands & Araby
Bleep bleep hum pfff prrrr. The Predictatron produces yet another prediction. Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
”The Predictatron is very, very sure on this one. 76.7% chance that Nejaz Djinn will win the Araby & Southlands competition. This is the most certain prediction of all Predictatron predictions of this prediction season! The tiny little fact that Nejaz Djinn lost their opening match 1-2 against Temple of Skulls Crocodiles is just a minor setback, surely. We trust the machine, don’t we?”
Q2. Who will win Albion and Norsca?
Bleep krgkrg bleep bzzz hum pfff tsh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“For some reason, the Predictatron algorithm promotes Dwarfs. This is frustrating, as we really spent a lot of time this year to find the bug, and we were hoping to release a new patch in time. Maybe we will be able to make a new software release next year. For now, we will have to do with this prediction: Stones Forgers will win Albion and Norsca.”
Q3. Who will win Athel Loren?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“The Predictatron had some hard computations to do this season, for the always calm and reproducible Athel Loren forest competiton got firmly stirred up by an invasion of a pestilence skaven clan! This did cause quite a turmoil. The Deluge-Bearers pestilence team enters at a high score of 27.9% and pushed the other traditional top contender Wraiths of Woe to a third spot at 18.6%. However, the uprising of pestilence was not enough to beat the record Athel Loren champion holders of Modryn’s Midnight Meddlers. With 46.5% they firmly keep hold of their #1 top spot position.”
Q4. Who will win Cathay & Nippon + Ind?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“The tentacles of the Predictatron are long and sticky. They reached all the way to the outskirts of the world to collect data of the competition in Cathay, Nippon and Ind. And for all we know the Predictatron could be right, for who else would know what goes on in those faraway, dark, and overgrown lands? The competition is a division of three top-teams that together have 93% of winning. But, it must be said, there is only one true top-contender. The Predictatron does not lie: Blood Naga is a top-tier team.”
Q5. Who will win Haunted Hills?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“When I first saw these results, I honestly thought there were only three teams competing in the Haunted Hills! Of the three teams, Livin' Thing has the highest winning chance of 41.9%, followed by Tempelhof Wolves with 27.9% and Bleakwood Haunters at 25.6%. But, if you take a magnifying glass, and look very, very closely, you can still detect a very tiny chance of winning for the other two teams of about 2% each. There is always hope for these teams, I suppose..."
Q6. Who will win Lands of the Dead?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“This question is an insult to the calculation capacity of the Predictatron. Even a lowlife goblin, writing his calculations with a stick in the sand, could have predicted that The Everlasting Vultures of Settra would win this one. True vultures they are, preying on the corpses of their opponents. Even the summoning of air and earth elementals that do not have corpses that can be fed upon did not decrease the Vulture’s winning chances in the slightest."
Q7. Who will win Chaos Wastelands + Lustria?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“An interesting competition, the northern wastes of the world vs the southern end of the world. I can imagine this competition is sponsored by travel agencies making huge profits on the many supporter traveling going on. However, on the prediction side it is less interesting. Again, a very, very clear result: 58.1% winning chance for the winner of this competition, Dark Room Delights. Everyone with more brain cells that a troll could have known this. These simple questions start to bore me, so please only come back after you’ve finally actually defined a useful question that is predictatron-worthy."
Q8. Who will win The Dark Lands?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“Finally, finally, FINALLY! Finally you give me a question worthy of the Predictatron calculation capacity. We had to involve a lot of parameters in this calculation to make the differences between the teams significant. The chance that the hobgoblin slaves revolt against the slavers, the chance that the ogres forget which date they had to play a match, the chance that the ogre kingdom lost an internal battle to republicans, the chance that the black dwarfs got a lucrative matchfixing offer, the chance that the referee sends off all orc big ‘un, and the chance that the chaos dwarves chose to raid the village rather than play a bloodbowl match in it. After some weight factor optimization and number tweaking, we ended up with a clear winner: The Wolf Land Slavers will win The Dark Lands, but ony by a margin of 7%."
Q9. Who will win The Deep Caverns?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“Now this is a particularly tricky question. The answer is easy. But the question itself is difficult. You see, in most competitions the teams agree to a common set of rules and scoring mechanisms. And if it’s one thing thet computing machines like, it is a clear set of rules and boundary conditions. For The Deep Caverns this is different. There are two teams with a very high chance of winning: Karak Azog Outlaws, that follows a touchdown-based scoring system, and Lump and Da Snots, that follows a multi-factor S.N.O.T. based scoring system. And the point is, both teams have almost 100% chance of winning, in their own scoring system. The Predictatron had to go one level deeper: What is the chance that the scoring system itself gets used? To be able to compute this we had to interview many stakeholders in the CIBBL headquarters and put their inputs into a rules prediction system. We give the S.N.O.T. system roughly 23.3% chance to be used, versus 55.8% for the plain and old touchdown-based scoring system. This means that Karak Azog Outlaws is the most probable winner.”
Q10. Who will win The Empire?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“The Empire a male dominated society? Guess again. The Matrons of Malice are on a rampaging campaign of female dominance. While doing so they left a trail of bloody massacres on many a pitch. Y9 Autumn's Bronze Division? 26 casualties for, 2 against. Y9 Summer's S.Sang's Sensational Series? 37 casualties for, 3 against. Y9 Spring's The Empire? 18 casualties for, 5 against. In all their matches combined this murderous crew of vile women has managed a casualty difference +104. Who will stop them, and how? The Predictatron does not see a viable candidate that can put an end to their reign, and keeps the Matrons of Malice at a winning chance of 60.5%."
Q11. Who will win The Old World + Daemons?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“How is it possible that the ‘Old’ World gets invaded by ancient beings from another plane of existence, and yet, still, nothwithstanding these words implying old age, this regional tournament is filled with fresh young teams without any actual pitch experience? The Predictatron flagged any suggestion that it was making a calculation for a regional spring tournament as ‘highly unlikely input’. It is convinced it made a calculation for a Youngblood tourney instead. We can’t really blame the Predictatron for this. As none of the teams has had any seasoning, the least inexperienced of the bunch has the highest chance of winning: Knights of the Blazing Sun at a percentage of 41.9%."
Q12. Who will win Ulthuan & Naggaroth + Ocean?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“Let’s start with the good news: There is a chance that this competition will not be won by elves. That chance is 11.6% to be precise. Queen Amphinome’s Revenge will bravely represent all those non-pointy eared fans out there. The bad news: There is 88.4% chance that the competition will be won by pointy eared passing, dodging and jumping gallery players. Of those pointy eared, the region’s most probably winners are Eye and Arrow with 51.2%. Dökkålfar Dreki follows second, with a winning chance of 23.3%. That good 2nd score can not really be attributed to their prowess on the pitch, I presume, since they are not the most stable performing team. It’s more likely that it has to do with the good articles and nice reads they give in their Dökkålfar Dreki Fanzine."
Q13. Who will win Worlds Edge Mountains?
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Senior principle head programming gnome, what can you tell us about this result?
“Who would have thought this? The Dwarf competition is by far the most diverse, well balanced and colourful. All teams competing have a reasonable chance to win it, varying only between 9.3% to 23.3%. The highest winning chance is for Karak Kadrin Oathkeepers, and the best team by far is Black Water Angling Society (Go for it fellow Gnomes!). I really love the shape of this pie chart with all its colours and nice and even distributions. Can I keep this print-out, to pin it on the wall above my bed?"
The next morning
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! Let’s see which competition has now been evaluated…! Oh. Bogus. There is no prediction. Must have been the sound of the wind.
The next night
Bleep krgkrg bleep buzz humm whir click clack woosh. We know this sound: The predictatron has produced yet another stunning prediction! No, wait. It was just a dream.
The next week
Sitting here for more than a week now, but the Predictatron remains silent. Counting the days on the wall until next Spring. When the Predictatron can shine again...
Comments
Posted by lanky316 on 2022-10-14 11:47:51
Blagga is best commentating gobbo confirmed. We all knew it but good to see the acknowledgement in this fair and just method of computational diagnosis.
Posted by kaznaladak on 2022-10-17 21:21:12
I praise the predictatron to be programmed on a FUMBBL fashion for Athel Loren :
0% chances does not exists ; at least a small pourcentage of win has been produced for each team in case an underdog team keep rolling series of 6s :).
0% chances does not exists ; at least a small pourcentage of win has been produced for each team in case an underdog team keep rolling series of 6s :).