One thing that gets on my goat is when coaches use the excuse 'but I didn't know'..........'You mean you haven't read the rules?' 'Well maybe a few....'
Sigh
Would you drive a car without reading the rules first? or fire a gun??? grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Harvestmouse has read all the rules, all the rules for FUMBBL many times and every BB ruleset at least once. The problem is they're all a bit similar and always end with 'TOUCHDOWN HARVESTMOUSE!'

Let me show you can example. Dodge: A player with the Dodge skill is allowed to re-roll the dice if he fails while dodging past the Orc strip ball blitzer and the remarkable harvestmouse continues downfield, oh he's looking swift today! He's leaving the Orc line standing and just has Ort Maluth the famed Black Orc Blocker to beat, can he? Can he! Harvestmouse pirouettes past with the beauty of a Bolshoi Ballet Ballerina and leaves the pot bellied little piglet standing, before leaping like a lithe leopard into the end-zone TOUCHDOWN HARVESTMOUSE!

Passing rules have always been a trifle difficult, as soon as you get to the word Longbomb..'s to harvestmouse who picks the ball out of the air like a new born baby koalah bear, before thowing Tamtut IV for a dummy, who now looks likes he needs a dummy from his mummy and across the goal-line for a TOUCHDOWN HARVESTMOUSE.

Even when playing on FUMBBL it happens, if you ever play me and I score, there's little point in congratulating me with a 'WD' or 'grats' as I'm likely to be jumping up and down at the other end of the room re-enacting the winning pass..............until mummy mouse catches me 'Harvestmouse, what are you doing? You're thirty five f***ing years old, stop jumping around like you're just out of the litter.'

It's always been the same, even at school, rules never made much sense.

Headmaster: 'Harvestmouse, you've played truant 5 Thursdays in a row, are you that stupid? How do you think we wouldn't notice? How........did you pull off that sublime blitz recovery and return for what people are saying is probably the best touchdown of all time?'

Harvestmouse: 'Well Jim, I think you've knocked it on the head there, it was great wasn't it! However I have to give 'some' credit to my teammates today, particularly sidewinder's hypnogaze, without it, it would have been a tad bit trickier, and'

Headmaster: 'Harvestmouse! wtf are you talking about? I have no idea, are you totally insane? Go and see the school psychiatrist ffs.'
- - - - - - - -
Headmaster: 'So, what's the verdict? What's your conclusion?'

School Psychiatrist: 'Weeelllll, his imagination gets the better of him, it's much larger than his attention span you see. Much much larger indeed. It's so short infact, you could compare it to that of a mouse's, eerr a very small mouse!'



Not just a small mouse, but the smallest of all mouses, The Harvestmouse.