Supporters of Shelbourne FC had been pondering 2 questions for a long time.

1. Why are the players so bad?
   
2. Given they are so bad, why do they bother playing?
   

To answer the second question, most fans agreed that
based on observation the players just had nothing better to do on a Friday night.
(Kind of a mean observation from people who
have nothing better to do on a Friday night than go watch the team play.)

However no consensus could be reached on why they were so bad.
That was until it was pointed out that the players were in
fact Dark Elves from an alternate reality trapped in pudgy human form.

This surprised almost everyone.
(Murph, the no. 7, had always felt he was a woman trapped in a man's body.)
Arcane rituals were performed, the collective consciousness' transported
back to where they belonged and the players now live
very similar lives in their new identities.

There are of course some differences.

1. The team now play bloodbowl instead of football.
   
2. Murph's now a big girl instead of a big girl's blouse.
   
3. Ears are generally pointier.

However, in essence, the team has remained unchanged.

1. They still have the same names (spacing corrected).
   
2. They still defend by throwing themselves
   bodily at the nearest player, regardless of where the ball is.
   
3. They are still unable to string together an attacking play
   and rely solely on lucky breaks from defence to produce scores.
   

The only meaningful difference is the increase in the players'
popularity with the ladies means they now have something better
than playing to do on a Friday night. As such the team now
prefers to play on Tuesday evenings.

The re-worked Shel's outlook is summarized in this quote from the
team's first press release:

1. "A message for our fans - We hope you'll be entertained.
2. A message for our support staff - We'll strive to do you proud.
3. A message for our next opponent - See you next Tuesday."