ramchop
![](./modules/PNphpBB2/images/avatars/upload/143970440154fa0314adafd.gif)
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SWL XCIII Chocolate Conference
Game 1: hellohelloalex's Dark Elf "Love Handlers"
Dark elves, the toughest of the elves. Not a problem for the Luckers, we absolutely smashed them.
Ground up for the 1-0 in the first half. Then continued the smashing in the second.
A small matter of getting the ball. Easy
/ooh, a failed dump off. Do I risk the gfi and follow through with the blitz? Or semi protect the ball?
I thought the ball protection was the play, so resisted the urge for continued violence. Gave him a 1D against my blodger though, what could possibly go wrong?....
Oh well, I can still smash him and get it back....
gfi [1] rr [1]
They say 3 elves are enough to win a match. hellohelloalex had 4.
He didn't win it though
Full time 1-1 (0/2/0 - 1/0/0) |
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ramchop
![](./modules/PNphpBB2/images/avatars/upload/143970440154fa0314adafd.gif)
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SWL XCIII Chocolate Conference
Game 2: Redgum's Old World Alliance "Redgum's Renaissance"
The OWA were missing the human blitzer for this encounter, so they got a couple of inducements. Rumbelow Sheepskin and a Weather Mage.
Memory of a bloody goldfish! Can't have been more than a couple of turns into the first half when I decided that this:
was a wizard.
It certainly affected my game play, and rather than risk having my ball carrier grow flippers, I scored Turn 7.
Two turns for the OWA to score, but then this happened:
Loner fail
Look where the ball is! Kill the Ogre (apo'ed to BH), then fly in for the score....
Or not. Loner fail on the hungry troll, the goblin wriggled free though, taking out my best BOrc in the process.
Half Time 1-0
Second half the OWA scored Turn 12, giving us a solid 5 to score in.
Fear of the wizard meant a lesser gob was given the job of carrier, while the blodgy Ag+ star hung off to sweep up the dregs.
Carrier taken down with a
Sweeper collected the ball and ran. Dorf Blitzer mowed him down.
I'm an idiot, but we all knew that already. Not a bad inducement for 30k.
Full time 1-1 (1/0/0 - 1/1/0) |
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ramchop
![](./modules/PNphpBB2/images/avatars/upload/143970440154fa0314adafd.gif)
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SWL XCIII Chocolate Conference
Game 3: Plonkl's Necromantic "Bony Bumpers"
One thing I should have done with this game, is write the blog post before I played Round 4.
Because all I can think about now is what happened in Round 4.
Full time 2-1 (0/2/0 - 1/0/0) |
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ramchop
![](./modules/PNphpBB2/images/avatars/upload/143970440154fa0314adafd.gif)
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SWL XCIII Chocolate Conference
Game 4: Cullymon's Dwarf "Flower Beard"
Dorfs can be a scary prospect, especially dorfs with lots of Guard and Mighty Blow. The Flower Beards only had 6x mighty blow, and 4x Guard. Plus a smattering of Tackle across some positionals to put fear into the goblins. Oh yeah, and a S4 Blodge Runner. This could be a tricky one.
Of course with all those skills the efficient Flowers were lower TV than the GGs and spent inducements on an extra apothecary. Av10+! why the hell would they need that?
Nuffle also decided on the kick off roll to gift the dorfs a prayer. The stalling one, not an issue, the dorfs were receiving.
Flower Beards had the Guard advantage, but the GGs had the strength. Both teams bumped chests. But the Luckers had a secret weapon: for once the sneaky dirty git Waterloo was going to shine.
Foul 1: Guard mighty blow Blocker, 1 assist. KO!
Foul 2: Tackle mighty blow Slayer, 2 assists. MNG! (apo to bench)
Foul 3: Guard mighty blow Blocker, 1 assist. Safe.
Foul 4: Mighty blow Slayer, 1 assist. BH!
Foul 5: Blodge Runner, 0 assists. MNG!
Whistle! - argued!
Foul 6: Guard mighty blow Blitzer, 4 assists. KO!
Whistle! - sent off!
But the game wasn't just about the sneaky ground blitz.
Turn 3 A troll slayer decided to punch a BOrc
The push took him into trouble rr
This opened the way for a Tackle BOrc to have at the s4 Blodge carrier. Ball was spilled, and recovered by the wundergoblin.
All things going pretty well. Except for one thing.
Turn 7
It's kinda nice after all these years that Nuffle is still capable of kicking a coach in the gonads and inflicting real emotional pain. /hurt
Foolish inattention by the Luckers' coach. After all the foul carnage, it should have been an easy 2-0 and a wundergoblin with a beating heart.
Full Time: 1-0 (0/2/0 - 1/0/0)
Despite the sadness, this is still a beautiful sight:
![Image Image](https://fumbbl.com/i/698930) |
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ramchop
![](./modules/PNphpBB2/images/avatars/upload/143970440154fa0314adafd.gif)
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SWL XCIII Chocolate Conference
Game 5: tussock's High Elf "Amateur Professionals"
Wayne ‘Buck’ Shelford’s toughness is the stuff of legend
“About 10 minutes into the second half, I got kicked in the nuts. And man did it hurt. I felt nothing of it and continued playing,†Shelford said.
The All Blacks suffered a rare 16-3 loss to France in Nantes that day, and Shelford continued to describe the mood in the dressing room.
“It is very morbid, very quiet after a loss,†Shelford said. “I had to get dressed, I stood up and pulled my strides down and one of the guys from across the room said ‘holy s**t, look at that!’, and one of my testicles had been ripped out of the scrotum and it was hanging between my legs.
“I went upstairs into a medical room and had it tidied up and put back together. These things do happen and you’ve just got to play on,†Shelford concluded.
Obviously that's not from the SWL universe, but Buck certainly threw a spanner in the GG's plans.
Elves is a simple plan: smash them, outnumber them, win.
Drive 1: and that Plan A looked like it might happen. The GGs received and took out two elves on Turn 1 (Cas and KO). However, Buck charged in on his first action and Badly Hurt a GuardBlock BOrc (apo'd). That was pretty much all the effective violence in the first 3 turns, but the Luckers' coach got the heebie-jeebies regarding the wizard (a real wizard this time) and ran in the score on Turn 4.
Casualty count: GGs 1 - Buck 1
Drive 2: Maybe Bomber Dribblesnot could foment the same anxitey in the HElf coach as the wizard had. Not on that set up. 2x gfi and Buck skirted the BOrc defence and tackled him into the sunbaked dirt (BH). These HElves had no intention of stalling and scored Turn 5, but not before Buck smacked another goblin (BH).
Casualty count: GGs 1 - Buck 3
Drive 3: Three turns to score. Would it be 3 turns of wizard nervousness? A dumb foul by a goblin instead of closing a gap meant a HElf catcher got in a blitz on the ball carrier.
rr
Turn 7 they brought out the wizard, hoping to head into the break with a 2-1 lead.
Wizard broke the cage, lineelf blitzed the goblin, and caught the scatter. BOrcs punched back and covered the ball.
Casualty count: GGs 1 - Buck 3
Half time 1-1
Drive 4: Despite the casualty count the HElves were outnumbered 11-8. KO rolls were kind, but Buck was not. He killed a BOrc! A second season, no agent fees, Block Borc! In retaliation a goblin broke the neck of a dirty git lino.
Then then remaining BOrcs pressed in and the HElf catcher scored.
Casualty count: GGs 2 - Buck 4
Drive 5: Seven turns to score. The injuries and send offs meant the GGs couldn't field a full 11. But we had the numbers 10-8. Send offs and KOs kept the BOrc numbers advantage and it was 8-5 when we stepped in for a T16 score.
Casualty count: GGs 2 - Buck 4
Full Time: 2-2 (0/1/0 - 3/0/1)
It's set to be a tight finish to the season. Here's the table with 2 rounds to go (likely top 2 will qualify for Prem). My last two matches are the two teams above me.
![Image Image](https://fumbbl.com/i/699664) |
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ramchop
![](./modules/PNphpBB2/images/avatars/upload/143970440154fa0314adafd.gif)
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SWL XCIII Chocolate Conference
Game 6: Faulcon's Snotlings "Pitch Painters"
It's getting close to the end of the season, and it really is a balancing act between having sufficient treasury for next season and having the team now to push for Prem. A dead BOrc hurts, but definitely not worth replacing at this stage. I had 13 players and with riotous rookies and stars Faulcon was likely to have closer to 20. I thought about buying a goblin.
but instead opted to remove a goblin.
Of course the Painters had their own bomber. The Flinga had a special first turn. Fumbled, rerolled to inaccurate which scattered back onto himself. He caught it! It exploded! Took down (but not out) two teammates, and badly hurt himself. Good Flinga.
The Luckers stalked the snotlings all the way to endzone. Didn't press too hard, spent the drive picking off snots. We struck on Turn 6.
rr
Possibly should have delayed moving some BOrcs in until after the key move. Plan for success rather than mitigate for failure. The two Luckers covering the ball were pushed off it and the snots scored.
This gave me two turns to reply. Goblin passing play seemed the option. BOrc gfi, gfi, 3d smack, goblin gfi, pass 4+, goblin catch 3+, gfi, score!!!
It would have been nice. Samba tells me it was 40% odds with the rr. Not to be.
Half time 0-1
A win would put us in the drivers seat for a slot in Prem. But too many snotlings were in KO itching to come back rather than the casualty where they belonged. I lacked the confidence for an early score, so ground up the pitch for an easy draw. While a win would be great, a loss would be disastrous.
So of course disaster struck. The reason, coach idiocy.
Turn 13: Mistake
The plan was a simple one, smack that snotling out the way then blitz the troll from below and have most of the team together a little further forward. But the BOrc failed me and had to settle for a push. No biggie except the imbecilic placement meant the troll blitz was gone. I had to blitz it from above which meant it needed to be taken down as a push wouldn't be enough. A reroll took him down and the goblin didn't need to dodge. So no disaster, except the Luckers were split more than I'd like them to be.
Turn 14: Disaster
Where was the mitigation for failure this time? I probably didn't even need that gfi. Snakes. Heart sank. I even offered a despondent "grats" when the snots picked up the ball
Turn 15: Hope
Big scary blockle BOrc, dodge with rr 75% odds. Not to be. Prem gone.
Turn 16: Miracle
One thing Faulcon is especially good at is not rushing decisions. It was a good 3 minutes before he decided the best spot to place these snotlings.
and possibly a few tens of minutes afterwards pondering what the better option might have been. Sometimes even the best options get Nuffled.
I'm so glad I came into this season with 4 rerolls instead of a bench.
rr
Full Time: 1-1 (2/1/1 - 0/0/0) |
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ramchop
![](./modules/PNphpBB2/images/avatars/upload/143970440154fa0314adafd.gif)
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SWL XCIII Chocolate Conference
Game 7: buuface's Humans "Albion Itinerants"
Only two teams in the Conference will make it to Prem. Four teams left vying for promotion.
tussock's Helves 19 points
Faulcon's Snotlings 19 points
buuface's Humans 19 points
and the Luckers 18 points
Only two scenarios would get me up:
- The Luckers beat the Humans, and either Faulcon or tussock don't win
- We draw, and Faulcon and tussock both lose.
Yep, that second scenario was unlikely (even more so with tussock winning a few hours before my game kicked off). I had to win.
So, let's win.
First drive: Humans score turn 3. Bomber Dribblesnot is amazing, even the ref loves him.
Second Drive: Six turns might seem like a lot of time to score, but when your cage corners dawdle along at MA4 it's amazing how quickly the clock runs out.
The Itinerants have 2x sidestep blodge catchers with Diving Tackle. This made making a break risky. But it had to be done.
Turn 7
Looking at this I don't know what possessed me to make that gfi. I remembered that I needed it to get out of diving tackle range, but that catcher was well short.
So that's it. More ramchop idiocy cost me promotion to Prem. Unless another Miracle.
Turn 8
Woot!
Half Time 1-1
Second half was a slow grind, smashing humans that got in the way.
Full Time: 2-1 (2/0/0 - 0/2/0)
3/4/0, an unbeaten season! Freezy Trees did that once in their 13 season, Bavado never managed it in their 15. Would it be enough to get us to Prem?
It was all down to Cullymon's Dorfs to stop Faulcon's snots. 11:30pm my time is pretty late to start speccing a game, but Prem was on the line.
That S4 Blodge runner was there. If he stayed out of Dribblesnot range, surely he could score at T8 and make a Faulcon win very difficult indeed. The snotlings had two bribes, but the numbers Out were rapidly increasing.
Turn 6:
<ramchop> getting close to maybe forcing some weapons on for t8
Nuffle is such a tease. Confs again next season. |
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ramchop
![](./modules/PNphpBB2/images/avatars/upload/143970440154fa0314adafd.gif)
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SWL XCIV Gillian Starshine Conference
After narrowly missing out on a slot in Prem the BOrcs have yet another season in Conferences. This time though, instead of full round robin in groups of 8, we have 10 team divisions. I guess agents fees may make longer term teams less attractive, and more coaches rerolling give admin more headaches than usual. So the luck of the draw isn't merely limited to cross division tiebreakers, it's also in play within the groups.
So how lucky are the Luckers?
In SWL's 93 seasons there have been 90 Gold Cups handed out. 40 different coaches have won Premierships (not me). 12 of them are still around in Season 94. 4 in Prem, 6 in Conf, and 2 in Reggies.
The Luckers face 4 of these top tier coaches this season.
Nana's Undies (1500k, 8/3/1), Irgy - S49 Champ
Ligna Ludis (1470k, 11/2/8), Bobs - S90 & S39 Champ
Mighty Mortgaged Mob (780k, 5/3/1), Grod - S58 Champ
Mosgiel Moonrakers (1260k, 14/8/13), Wozzaa
New Blacktown Expatriates (1370k, 16/8/11), ClayInfinity - S76, S25 & S5 Champ
Kapitol Krushers (1360k, 6/4/2), almic85
Zharr-Naggrund Ramblers (1350k, 2/0/6), Whitetailscramblers
GG Luckers (1495k, 17/8/10) have a tough season ahead. |
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ramchop
![](./modules/PNphpBB2/images/avatars/upload/143970440154fa0314adafd.gif)
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SWL XCIV Gillian Starshine Conference
Game 1: Irgy's Undead "Nana's Undies"
End of turn 4. Three undead off the pitch. Things looking pretty good.
End of Turn 6. Two BOrcs off, one stunned, one down, stupid troll. Things looking pretty bad.
Half time 0-1
Waterloo, a team veteran
While he's no Pomare (RIP, the Ag+ wundergob), his two little skills meant he was well worth the 30k agent fees.
At the end of last season sporting 106 fouls under his belt he's the current leader of alltime bootings in BB20 SWL.
Against the Undies he wreaked havoc with 10 fouls, niggling a Blockstep ghoul, and killing a MB tackle Wight. Dead dead! Plus probably a few KOs and stuns along the way.
A good outing. But that wasn't to be Waterloo's hero moment. After the GGs ripped the ball twice off ghouls in their drive the clock had ticked down too far and the endzone was out of range. Except for an unlikely TTM option for the veteran stomper......
RIP Waterloo.
Full Time 0-1 (0/1/0 - 1/1/1) |
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ramchop
![](./modules/PNphpBB2/images/avatars/upload/143970440154fa0314adafd.gif)
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SWL XCIV Gillian Starshine Conference
Game 2: Bobs' Wood Elf "Ligna Ludis"
Occasionally you hear complaints about the RNG. "The RNG is broken", "The RNG is fixed". There is often compelling evidence in response to such claims. And it is true the RNG is not broken. Is is not fixed.
The fact instead, is as plain as day: The RNG does not exist!*
It is all Nuffle. He observes, he listens, he acts. He screws you over.
Example 1: Nuffle Listens
T8: Wood elves set up for a 1 turn touch down
T9: Wood elves set up to start the 2nd half
<ramchop> another Blitz would be nice Nuffle
T11: Luckers set up for the winning drive
<ramchop> ignore my request fro another Blitz please Nuffle
uh-oh
Example 2: Nuffle Amazes
The Luckers managed to recover the ball from the Blitz! Grind up the field, smash elves off the park. Things looked very very good. Blodger with ball, flanked by guards, what could possibly go wrong?
No tackle, no wrestle, no strip ball. Just stand up a double Pow!
Example 3: Nuffle Teases
Yes the tease. So often with the tease.
2 rerolls in the pocket. We can do this!
Full Time: 1-1 (0/3/0 - 0/0/0)
* Of course the RNG works. It's Nuffle that's not real. Not real, but definitely a complete and utter $%&#!!! |
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ramchop
![](./modules/PNphpBB2/images/avatars/upload/143970440154fa0314adafd.gif)
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SWL XCIV Gillian Starshine Conference
Game 3: Grod's Snotlings "Mighty Mortgaged Mob"
550k! That was the TV of the Snotlings coming into this game. Against my Big Bad BOrcs that meant:
Morg (of course)
Varag
a wizard
Riotous rookies
3 bribes
and a keg.
What a handful.
Morg seemed a bit sleepy going into this game. After knocking out a Nuffle blessed stabby goblin who failed to penetrate the ball carrier's armour (weak!), Morg didn't do much in the first half aside from looking menacing
The snotlings were much better served by their Pass bomber. Now she was a menace.
I do like a puzzle and the start of my Turn 6 presented me with a good one.
What to do? The lazy Troll TTM option wasn't considered at all, despite Grod helpfully suggesting it. No, that snotling was going to get surfed.
Goblins could do it.
And with 4 rerolls to burn it might have been the more sensible option.
5 dodges
1 gfi
and a 2D block.
Yeah not bad.
But instead I chose my goblin to man up against Morg
Really Nuffle, I'd have been happy with pushes.
Sadly, I hadn't properly planned for success and there weren't many pieces left to take full advantage of it.
Varag failed the pickup, and it was up to my only player in range. Knock away the Troll, 4+ pickup with gobbo, hand off to the BOrc, and run. Full stretch 4x gfi.
Easy.
Damn!
Half Time 0-0
Lots of dealing with Fungus Flinga antics in the 2nd half. She really was an annoying little....
Full Time: 0-0 (2/2/0 - 0/1/0) |
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ramchop
![](./modules/PNphpBB2/images/avatars/upload/143970440154fa0314adafd.gif)
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SWL XCIV Gillian Starshine Conference
Game 4: Wozzaa's Halflings "Mosgiel Moonrakers"
The last time the Luckers met the Moonrakers, we saw this moment of coaching idiocy.
Fortunately turning a near guaranteed win into a draw with dumb greed and amazing Nuffle scatter didn't cost us a promotion to Prem that season.
A 0/2/1 start to the season, mean hopes of getting to Prem this time around are rapidly fading. Two games ago I chose to roll a random double rather than pick a Sneaky Git. Oh how I miss having a sneaky git.
The little wrestler didn't help me at all in his first game with the skill. Could he do something against the Moonrakers?
Go the favourable Nuffle scatter!
Full Time: 2-0 (2/0/2 - 5/0/0)
Oh yeah, and this happened.
ouch! |
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ramchop
![](./modules/PNphpBB2/images/avatars/upload/143970440154fa0314adafd.gif)
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SWL XCIV Gillian Starshine Conference
Game 5: ClayInfinity's Black Orc "New Blacktown Expatriates"
Three weeks since this game was played. I guess I can smash out the last three match reports over the long summer break.
Mirror match! Clay's BOrcs have taken a slightly different approach than mine have. For a start his troll has somehow managed to gain skills. One of my Guard BOrcs was missing which amplified the difference.
Guard count 4-2 in favour of the Expats
Mighty Blow count 3-1 in favour of the Luckers
plus I was still feeling the loss of my fouler with no sneaky git on the roster, the Expatriates had two!
Missing BOrc made us the underdog, Bomber purchased, but nullified by the overdog.
First Half
Luckers receive and grind up through the snow.
Immediate impact of mighty blow was to take out the skilled Troll (BH, apo'ed). GG dirty player injured a BOrc (who needs sneaky git?) - sent off. Expat git took out nobody - sent off.
Half time 1-0
Second Half
Expats receive. Now this is where all the guard would become annoying. I had a wrestler, but the cage moved up in a way that a guard was always around to thwart a 1D run at the ball carrier. So the main strategy was to slow down the grind as much as possible, and hope that mighty blow would cut down their numbers. But 8 turns is a lot.
In each of the first 5 turns the ball crept forward 1 step at a time. Then a slight break on T6, two steps! The important bit though, no guard protection. Time to strike!
Wrestler failed the first dodge failing the rr, and ended up in casualty.
Star ball carrier then charges forward with sure feet on his side.
GFI fail, rr fail. A chance to stop it! A good chance.
I had to dodge after picking up the ball, right? The Block BOrc would have simply stood up and clobbered me.... right?
Anyway Star surefeet wasn't going to fail a second time
Full Time 1-1 (2/0/0 - 0/0/0) |
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ramchop
![](./modules/PNphpBB2/images/avatars/upload/143970440154fa0314adafd.gif)
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SWL XCIV Gillian Starshine Conference
Game 6: almic85's Orc "Kapitol Krushers"
I think Orcs might be one of the tougher races for Black Orcs. They're like BOrcs only better. I don't think I'll ever stop being bitter about the M5 on BigUns.
First Drive, GGs receive, grind up, get swarmed, make a break, fail a gfi, and screw up the desperation T8 move.
Half Time 0-0
Second Drive, Krushers receive, grind up, bully the GGs... then... more desperation.... the play of the match.... Heroic BOrc, heroic goblin...
If only the crowd throw hadn't been so weak. They got the direction right, even the bounce was nice. But really?
Throw in Distance Roll [2][1]
A little further and the goblin would have been in the clear.
But weak armed crowd. Orcs mow down the goblin and recover to score T15
Full Time 0-1 (0/1/0 - 0/2/1) |
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ramchop
![](./modules/PNphpBB2/images/avatars/upload/143970440154fa0314adafd.gif)
Joined: Oct 12, 2013
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SWL XCIV Gillian Starshine Conference
Game 7: Whitetailscramblers's Chaos Dwarf "Zharr-Naggrund Ramblers"
Not too much riding on this game for the GGs. Prem promotion hopes were long dashed. The threat of relegation had also been avoided. It'd be nice to avoid a losing record for the season though.
Turn one we smashed the Mino! Smashed him in the head real good (-1 AV). But the chorfs had a real good apo so the cow would be back. A pity they didn't have more real good apos. Look at what unfolded in the first 4 turns of the match.
That's rough.
Full Time: 1-0 (1/2/1 - 0/0/0)
The Luckers ended up with a 2/3/2 season. Finishing a career worst 7th in a conference. But hey, it was an expanded conference, so let's count from the bottom. Finishing a career worst 4th to last in a conference. That doesn't sound any better.
First time to not have a winning record in a conference season too.
TDs 5-4. Only 9 TDs scored all season. That's the tightest in SWL BB20's 6 season history. Not a record to be particularly proud of.
Speaking of tight - the rebuy budget. The big hitters are getting old and their agents are getting greedy. Some tough decisions ahead. |
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