Joined: Oct 10, 2018
Jan 20, 2021 - 22:44
Secret obsession season 6
Well Forks her it is season six and what a time to be alive Osbbl is ready for a new reign of terror since Silky departed all hell has been breaking loose. The Secret Splatterfst saw (there is a pun there) no end of mirth, frogs and hugely overpaid referees. Then we tried to tempt Silky back by stuffing his stocking full of gifts to will him back rumour has it may of worked. And we look forward to Matariki Mayhem the stars are aligned for a beautiful season six Adding to this serendipitous occasion in the Commentary box I have a true legend of Osbbl and holder of the first ever sword the suspended soul Mr Chuckles whic is indeed dark. And from notes of hanging out with a Hung I understand that you are somewhat musical. Which head is your singing head.
“Both are equally tuneful will have you know Snake”
Thank you Chuckles it will be great for our avid (steady on-ed) viewers to get stuck into your take on this years teams. Before the official split into the Rattus Innvictus division and the Sisterwives division.
Lets start with the Ominous
Die Die Die- Trickey, Mahrak [img]https://fumbbl.com/i/520556/[img]
Well Chuckles these boys are a barrel of laughs aren’t they! Arriving for the Splatterfest and failing to make an impression in the tournament itself or the Frog off they then went on to be pipped by the Seas elves to miss out on Silky’s stocking. A sword contender?
“Oh Snake don’t lat these fellas fool you they anr all shiny stuff and nae troosers as we say i the old country though I never wore trouser me self. The so called Golden wall will intimidate some folk but they need more than that to take the sword. I think they will just be wanting to bash their way through the competition and I can’t see it working. Window in my pocket though looks like a menace and I say kill it kill it with fire.”
Cheeky Cheesy Chappies- Mr Cushtie,
These Cheeky chaps caused no end of problem in the Festive beatdown beating down most things in front of them with an arsenal that would make a sea elf bureaucrat spin in their swivel chair the referees union are not fans. Can you blame them Chuckles.
“Yes Snake yes you can always blame the referee. This squad looks a little trim to me and coming in so fresh may not help their cause but the crowds will love them. We are yet to see what they excel at but we are told they most certainly excel. Josue Eldramor leads just about all their play and will be the rat to watch. I feel they will be looking at the Mullet personally.”
Delicious Heresy- Felix, Demons of Slannesh
Lock up your well everything with an orifice I feel! The most feared team ever in the Osbbl are back, they are mostly feared for their decadent pre post and during match parties to the electronic beats that echo from their changing rooms. I still have a soft spot for Tom Thunderbanjo though Nuffle seemingly doesn’t. Contenders surely Chuckles.
“Heartily agree I was lucky enough to enter and leave one of their parties once it was eye opening. They have obviously been the perennial underachievers in the Osbbl and though they have threatened in the Sucker cup and even made the Griffons blush they have not reached their true potential. This year though I think a runners up medal will be on offer.”
The Gaen Vale Griffons- Fool, Averlon
The queens of Osbbl have been defrocked by the recent rise of the Sisters of Sigmar and having shirked their trophy drought by clutching the sucker cup they followed up success by failing to make it to the playoffs for the first time in their history. A very different looking side as they have shed some of their seasoned players but surely they can seize a sword Chuckles.
“Ahhh the Griffons and Boudica 35 games played in the Osbbl and one of the longest serving members of the team. Nowadays she seems ever more reliant on a smaller ast around her but we all know when the Griffons are on song they are damn near unstoppable. Could this be a season to far all I am saying is if they take on the Sisters it will be standing room only I tell ya. Hottest ticket in town let's hope it is a Semi final! I do get a cut of the Cabal money, true?”
Sisters Wives- Sharper, Sisters of Sigmar,
We can’t not look at the two together really and what a entry from these ladies last league flawless and only conceding 3 touchdowns in the whole season they waltzed to victory despite Rattus Invictus taking them to over time in the Sword final. Efficient aren’t they.
“Hark I think if they ever got to hang with us Hung we would soon take them apart on the field Snake. There is but one way to take this lot down and that starts with April she is their work horse, get her in a headlock and beat her mercilessly. Can they do the double I would put my face mask on it.”
All up in your Swayze- Barbefett, Tilea,
Within Tilea the wealthy city states have been graced by a jester of such talent bards write songs about him and the many titles of these songs have been bestowed on the many varied and adopted sons of Tilea and then they Ghosted into the Osbbl to promenade their chiseled good looks or so the coach has told us. Can’t sayI am much into Tilean drama what do you think Mr Chuckles?
“Well Snake looking at these handsome fellas I feel they could be our surprise package this season. Though they are untested Tiger Warsaw is exactly the kind of player that can excel in the Osbbl arena. They will have their critics and they will upset a few but I feel they will slip into the middle of the league.”
Beards Beers and Bikinis- N_Vader, Ironbreaker
The Bikinis were meant to return for season V with a division named after them and the first all time casualty record in the league the good people of the Isles were expecting great things. Unfortunately their coach took them on a preseason fitness tramp underestimating how long this would take. Alas the glacial pace of the Iron Breakers saw them reappear just in time for the Sucker cup. No such folly this time Mr Chuckles one of the toughest team in Osbbl what do you think of their chances?
“Like chewing on Gravel is what has been said about these hardy dwarves they are tough and would be looking for vengeance after going out to the winner in the Sucker cup last season. They hit hard and in Houtik, the apoctherices choice due to the amount of business they get out of him, they have a player that hits harder than most. I think they will waddle into the play offs and all bets are off from there.”
Sirens Song- JPM, Necrach
Talking of Cas these coldblooded gazers were the king of Cas last season if you ignore the mutant Rats that ate everyone. Sirens Song are the true show men of the league and counted themselves unlucky not to make the Swordfinal in their first attempt. Surely the Sirens are calling you to sweet success Chuckles.
“Do not look into their damned eyes Snake I tell ya they are going to come unstuck this year and will suffer from second season stutters the vamps will blame everyone but the one to stay clear from is Odysseus with 26 Cas to his name and last seasons white whale with a casualty tally to equal Houtik he will lead the line.”
Beached As- Smeborg, Undead Pirates
So a mysterious ship found itself run aground on the coast of the isles and have course being gentle folk down south the squad of Cresters, while searching for new giant Crabs, went to investigate they didn’t like what they saw and have not been seen since. On it was the ghost crew of a long forgotten tribe and who would believe it their Cabal vision subscription led them to the Osbbl. Chuckles the newbees can they be the shining light in the league?
“No in short this lot can’t even pilot a ghost ship properly let alone negotiate their way through the finest league in the Old world. Sheila, One Pot Screamer is there go to and seems the only trick they have though the Ogres pack a punch. They are Mullet contenders at most.”
Putrid Proud- Knine, Clan Pestines
Such a fetid and horrid crowd of rag tags, this crew were successful last season and most sane coaches (not that there are many in Osbbl-ed) described them as a living nightmare. This was mostly due to the halftime oranges being distinctly mouldy. Can this clan prove itself the first clan to seize the sword Chukles.
“I am afraid not Snake, the Putrid Proud do not have enough in their tank t go the full way as proven in them falling short in the Rat O Nine Tails they will slip into mid table mediocrity this season but will give some teams a fright not least due to their Halftime snacks. Trump and Nixon as ever are the Rats to avoid if you want to get past this squad.”
DSR- Black Caps, Clan Eshin,
The Dirty Stinking Rats seem to have been hanging around forever and it is not once I have called them Rash like. They have all the hallmarks of a great Osbbl side don’t they Chuckles.
“If by all the hallmarks Snake you mean one Mullet to their name I guss you could be right but I think I want to know what is in that tea you are drinking. With akatsuki being the only original in the team and attrition never helping the Rats of Eshin I wouldn’t count on them making it far. Yes they can score but can they survive in a league with 2 white whales circling.”
The Punishing Wounders- Ramchop, Troll
This side appeared during the festive beat down and they made an impression in the last round stopping Die Die Die in their low march to success (you almost sound bitter-ed). The Wounders are not known for their intelligence and whereas some green skin sides have mastered the art of talking to the ref these fellas haven’t. Chuckles do they have a snowball's chance in hades?
“Well I like this side i just can’t go past Duncan you can trust a Duncan I tell you I would pick these as the surprise package many squads will go into a match thinking it will be a cake walk only to find Duncan, Derek, Bruce andSimon bearing down on them all while their counterparts look confused. Watch yerself here, they are the banana skin team if I have ever seen one.’
Well what can we say Chuckles
“Do you want to hear that song that made me famous”
No not right ow Chuckles maybe next time. Season 6 is almost upon us. With 14 teams just under the 16 of usual ca it bring us the same blood and glory we all want. Here's hoping.