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Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 01, 2016 - 22:58
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At the very end of 2014 I joined my first league - SWL. Before this I had dabbled on FUMBBL a little bit in Ranked, mostly to train myself up before entering the Table Top scene. League play has really grabbed me, I'm hooked.

I started a journal to follow the fortunes of this new League team on nzbbn.com. This is a forum for the New Zealand blood bowl community (mostly table top). And I've managed to entice a few players over to try their hand at FUMBBL.

Sadly, the internet is a pretty temporary thing and nzbbn.com will be shutting down soon. So I've decided to run a copy of my team blog here. Only my historic posts will be brought across, not the feedback and discussion. But feel free to add your thoughts to this thread.

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 01, 2016 - 22:59
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The Southern Wastes League

Malfeasor wrote:
SWL is the business. I recommend it heartily.

Sandune wrote:
To those thinking of making the plunge to FUMBBL, I heartily enjoyed my years on SWL, made a great bunch of friends with the Aussies coaches.
Was amazing popping over and going to Dan Collins place when I was in Oz years ago, met about 20 SWL coaches in person.

Nothing will increase your skill level like playing on FUMBBL Smile

Tomay wrote:
It'd be great to have another Kiwi in SWL, I never get sick of sheep jokes

So what is this Southern Waste League? Here's the group page

Basically it's a Premier Division with 8 teams. Some are monsters (one will top 400 games this season). Full round robin, top team wins, bottom four get demoted to the conferences.
Conferences, last season there were three of them. 8 teams each, top team of each (and a wild card?) gets promoted to the Premier Div.

Below this is the Reggies. This is where new players and new teams (plus a few demotions from the Conferences) prove their worth. But thats not where it starts. First up is the Trial of Blood.....

posted 13 Jan 2015

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 01, 2016 - 23:00
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Trial of Blood

Before you can join the SWL you must prove your commitment by playing at least 2 games. These are against SWL Fringe teams. Can build your team to a maximum TV of 1300 before entering the league.


So I've taken Norse. Dr Seuss themed "Freezy Trees" - I thought this was original but looking through FUMBL it seems others have done similar including Embarassed an SWL team from a couple of years back.

Went with 4 rerolls, Troll, and two Ulfs. Thought I'd get the skill build underway on the hardest 3 players to skill up.

Game 1: First dipping of the toes into the SWL chat pool, saw a number of coaches jostling to get first blood on my virgin Norse team. Went with "For all the Steaks" Dark Elves. 1-1 draw. No major dramas, a solid start. What impressed me most was the chat. FUMBBL chat blows Cyanide's clumsy irritating comms out of the water. It's simple and it works. The Dark Elf coach managed to keep up chatting in both the game client, and the SWL chat room. A few spectators watched the game too and put in their two cents worth on SWL chat (apparently only noobs take Yetis). A friendly start to the league.

Game 2: An interesting fringe team Chaos Pact "Hazara's Hedonists". all Marauders. Went in with the boots and fouled their sure handed receiver - got sent off but fractured his arm. 2-0 win, included a last turn length of the field passing effort. Again friendly chatting despite my fouling.

Game 3: Disaster! Vampires "Senkehof Stables", destroyed my fledgling Norse, dishing out -AVs and turning two linemen into flings. 2-1 loss. Sam-I-am immediately retired, but I've kept Sally a dirty player (for now). Ulfs seem immune to picking up spps. The Yeti is also pretty useless in this regard. Random MVPs seem to love linemen. Bought my first berserker Thing One.

Game 4: Notched up another win against Elf "Wings of the Condor" a fellow Trial of Blood team. The Norse were brutal, dishing out 2 injuries, 1 badly hurt and plenty of KOs. 1-0 win.

Game 5: Humans "Trainspotters United", another draw 1-1. Killed his accurate thrower, and my lineman Mr Brown became my first death. As with all the games a good level of banter throughout the game. Both in the game client and in the chat room. Seem to be a great bunch of people. Went off to enjoy my mutton sarny for lunch after this game, and bought Thing Two.

Not a bad entry to the league 2/2/1, I'm sure things will change when the competition ramps up in a proper league. So, still only 11 players. Got my two bereserkers now - Thing One has skilled up already MB. Ulfs and Yeti still unskilled. TV1270 +30k to spend. Time for some minmaxing, or wait until the season proper stats on the 19th?

posted 13 Jan 2015

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 01, 2016 - 23:01
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Sandune's Regional LVIII

So who do my Image Norse have to overcome to get promoted from the kiddies table?

Image Slann
Image Undead
Image Elf
Image Human (hi coombzy!)
Image Necromantic
Image Nurgle
Image Chaos Pact

..pretty good mix of teams there.

posted 17 Jan 2015


Sandune's Regional LVIII

Game 1: TreeGnoll's undead "Necropolis Nightjars" Image
Clark the Yeti killed his star Ag4 blodging ghoul, Blitz, Thing Two scores a hat-trick. 3-0. Nuffle loves me.

posted 19 Jan 2015


Sandune's Regional LVIII

Game 2: Grumpsh's Necromantic "Error 404 afterlife not found" Image
Fresh from a third placing at Cancon this coach was not going to be an easy win. I had about 5 players crowd surfed - with 5 frenzy players I thought I was the one supposed to be doing that! I really need to do some homework on positional play. Fortunately the crowd was nice to me and all my crowd pushees ended up in the reserves. The werewolf I pushed got badly hurt (thanks crowd).
1-0 loss, had a chance at levelling it, but his defence was simply superior to my offence.
Another fun game. Nuffle took pity on a useless Ulf, MVP Block.

posted 28 Jan 2015


Sandune's Regional LVIII

Game 3: JamesFynmore's Slann "Geelong Bull Frogs" Image
The only other coach new to SWL this season, I thought I might have a chance this game, but it's Slann. pdarby completely bamboozled me with Slann in WBBL last season - and like the Hippies of Spring 2514 this team has a S3 catcher.
Plan A, Blocky Ulf to pickup the ball then let's see his S3 annoyance try to break my cage. Plan A went out the window after the failed reroll pickup. Plan B bash. Clark the Yeti took down the Krox, Sally the dirty player lineman took out the Krox. Plan B seemed to work pretty well, assisted by Plan C - opposition to roll lots of 1's. Thanks Nuffle. 2-0

next up, coombzy's humans

What's this? Up to Round 4 already and the Round 2 deadline hasn't passed yet? The FUMBBL league is much easier to work with than Cyanide's. No waiting around for everyone to finish their games before pushing ahead.

posted 6 Feb 2015


Sandune's Regional LVIII

Game 4: coombz's Humans "Brooklyn High Focus" Image
First block of the game and I kill a lineman. Oh yes! I'm going to smash him to pieces and canter to the win with noboby left to stop me. err no. The humans won the bash game in the first half. Guard is golden and I have no guard. Things improved for my bash game in the second half but by then it was too late. 2-1 to the humans.

I need guard, I badly need guard. Only skill up was for blocky Ulf, he has access to Strength skills. Finally some guard? Break Tackle (I'm a slow learner)

So 2W2L after four games. The title is beyond reach. I need more wins under my belt or I'll stay at the kiddies table next season.

coombz is now 4W out of 4 games. In the box seat for the title - though a death and 3 MNG (including ogre) courtesy of the Norse, may make his next outing a challenge. Cheers for the game coombz - good luck for the rest of the season.

posted 14 Feb 2015


Sandune's Regional LVIII

Game 5: Mr_Magooo's Chaos Pact "Ka Os" Image
A smashed up team with a less than stellar record (0/1/8 ). Should be easy? Not with Morg on the pitch. A very close encounter. On turn 14 at 1-1 any result still seemed possible. Sadly the last turn TD went to the Pact. Now I'm the one with a smashed up team.
Runners don't last long in this team - dead from failed GFI. Two serious injuries. No SPPs bar the MVP -ma mng lineman and the dead runner's TD. At least the apo worked and brought back the rookie Ulf from the dead.
Despite the loss, the seesaw nature of the game made it another very enjoyable encounter.

There's a very real danger that I may now not get promoted from the Reggies kiddy table. Three incoming kiwis to play next season? Very Happy

posted 23 Feb 2015


Sandune's Regional LVIII

Game 6: Irgy's Nurgle "Eau de Toilet" Image



No permanent damage (except to a loner), and although it was a lost cause pretty early in the piece it was still a fun game.

Unless there are a lot of dropouts above there'll be 4 kiwis in the Reggies next season.

posted 4 Mar 2015


Sandune's Regional LVIII

Game 7: Relezite's Elf "Wings of the Condor" Image

2nd half 0-0. End of Norse turn 3, a fairly unimportant 1 dice block on an elf. [SKULL] Reroll [SKULL]. Nuffle's having a laugh, it happens.
2nd half 0-0. Start of Elf turn 4. Dodging elf [1] Reroll [1]. Thank you Nuffle! Very Happy Ulf charges down the pitch to the ball carrier deep in the Elf half. Smack! GFI to the ball, pick up (after reroll), GFI to score. SCORE!!!

If Nuffle gifted me my TD, I gifted the elves the equaliser.... Don't want to talk about it... Really... Defensive lapses are not something you want to hand to someone who has played over 2400 games of FUMBBL! I need to work on my defense.

So, end of my first season of SWL. Finished up 6th out of 8 teams (2-1-4). There is so much to learn in this beautiful game, and this is an excellent and fun training ground. Last season only 3 teams got promoted, 4th and 5th were fillers that couldn't go up, and 6th stayed back. I'm kind of hoping I get kept back, my team needs a bit of work and it's scarey when you look at the condition of some of the teams above. It's all down to how many teams in the top 4 divisions decide to drop out or restart. It'll be a long 3 week wait.

posted 7 Mar 2015

Last edited by ramchop on Oct 01, 2016 - 23:11; edited 1 time in total

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 01, 2016 - 23:09
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Carlton United Conference LIX

So thanks to Malfeasor for having a break in Season LIX I get promoted to the conferences to fill the gap. Carlton United Conference LIX

There are some scary teams, my Av7 has never felt so brittle. Who am I up against?

Image TV1690k, 24 games
Image TV1530k, 40 games
Image TV2160k, 89 games
Image TV1830k, 83 games
Image TV1550k, 54 games
Image TV1640k, 19 games
Image TV1900k, 50 games

I'm the least developed team 1430k, 12 games.... gonna feel some pain. Cool

First up, polemarch's RocketVamps

posted 31 Mar 2015


Carlton United Conference LIX

Game 1: polemarch's Vampires "RocketVamps" Image

Oh how I love blood lust Very Happy

After the Rockets being denied this TD in the first half, the second half saw the Norse dominate the bash game, and edge back a numbers advantage. It still went down to the wire though. Turn 15 blitz on my ball carrier dislodged the ball (bloody dodgy Vampire). Fortunately Thing Two the blitzer was only knocked down, and with a bit of help from his wolf friends and a lucky bouncing ball (bloody sidestepping Vampire), he managed to jump up, collect the ball and score on Norse turn 16.

A very tense and enjoyable game.

1-0. No Cas against. Very happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

posted 1 Apr 2015


Carlton United Conference LIX

Game 2: RedMaul's Dwarf "Asha'maniac" Image

With only 25 games under their belts, this team along with the Vampires and my Norse is one of the three least experienced teams in the conference. You wouldn't know it to look at them though: 2x St4 Troll Slayers (one with Ma6), a St4 Blocker, and an Ag4 Blitzer. Fortunately the Ag4 Runner was sitting out this game.

Inducements taken were 2xBabes, Boomer, and an unskilled Merc Lineman

First Half was your typical Dwarf cage march downfield. The Norse were completely outplayed by the dwarves. Plenty of KOs against (but thankfully no CAS). Clark spent most of the half in one spot roaring. Boomer repeatedly failed to get the bomb airborne. 1-0 dwarves.

Second Half. Babes are awesome. Full team. Ulf caught the kickoff. The berserkers went berserk and in the space of 3 blocks took 3 players out. Norse score 1-1.

Last turn - ball on the ground. Two options:
1) Put tacklezones on the only player who could score (a Troll Slayer)
2) Try some crazy elf bullshit and go for the win.
Luke Luck the hero! Very Happy All he had to do was GFI twice, pick up the ball, Long Bomb it to a lineman who had an easy walk to the line. This story does not have a happy ending folks. GFIs passed, pick up failed, Ag4 Blitzer swoops in picks it up, hands off to the Troll Slayer, who fails his GFI to score, [Reroll] SCORE. Definitely the dumbest move I've ever tried with this team (and there have been some dumb moves). So instead of sitting at the top of the table like I was at the end of Round 1, I'm not.

On the plus side no permanent damage and my two Berserkes skilled up. That's 15 skill ups without a double or a stat increase. At least I've got a player with Guard now.

posted 12 Apr 2015


Carlton United Conference LIX

Game 3: JoeKano's Necromantic "Horrors of Skye" Image

One of the big boys of the conference. Previous conference winners, and with 91 games under their belt the Horrors were always going to be a tough one.

Inducements: Babe, Helmut and a Wizard

With Blue Fish my runner out with injury, I went shopping for a second. Black Fish, came in to join a champion team: On about turn 3, DEAD, raised from the dead and sitting happily on the reserves bench with his new team mates. Traitor!

That's about the only thing that went wrong for me the whole game. Clark only roared once I think, plentiful successful 1D blocks, good dodges and GFIs, and enough armour breaks to keep the Necro KO box busy. And the wizard stepped in on Turn 8 to zap an otherwise certain Wolf score.

While many would have justifiably been seething over my perpetual lack of bad luck, JoeKano was a really good sport about it. A really enjoyable game.

1-0 to the good guys Very Happy

Would my luck hold hold for the skill rolls? Could I break the 15 roll streak curse of the no doubles no stats? Not this time. No skill ups. MVP: Black Fish Laughing

posted 17 Apr 2015


Carlton United Conference LIX

Game 4: Dlock's Wood Elf "Autumn Leaves" Image

At 2040k, this is the highest TV team I've played against in any form of the game. How to combat lots of sidestepping blodgy Ag4? Took Zara and a wizard.

Wood Elves. Either it's a thrashing (my Gobbos lost 5-1 to deanzzz), or a bashing (my skinks beat Dazzlehoff 5-0 (7-0 CAS)). This game was a bit of both.

Zara spent a good part of the first half using dauntless to take down the tree. Eventually the tree failed to get up and Sally the dirty lineman dealt a serious boot Twisted Evil But by this time, even though I received the first kickoff the elves had already scored 2 quickfire TDs (Ma10 Wardancer Shocked ). The CAS count against the elves mounted rapidly but that margin proved too much to pull back. Score 3-1 to the Woodies, Cas 6-1 to the Norse.

Blue Fish, as is the case with my runners only lasted 4 turns before being fired -St. And like last game, MVP went to the departed runner. Laughing I may give up on runners - been through 4 of the things already.

Skills! Three of them. Skill #16 was my first double! BLOCK for Clark the yeti. Woohoo!

posted 24 Apr 2015


Carlton United Conference LIX

Game 5: Redgum's Skaven "Redgum's Rodents" Image

Look at this Tosser:

Not the biggest Star that I've faced (the Horrors of Skye had 3 bigger ones), but with that long list of skills he seemed like something special. He had turned up to 57 of the Rodents' 59 games, quite an achievement for an AV7 player. Never suffered permanent damage either... until now.

Image Thing One was a bloody monster this game. After frenzy pushing poor Terrence into a niggling crowd, he went on to score a hat-trick of Cas. Mighty Blow + Piling On, I love you.

Image Lorax the Ulf got a TD. That's his 5th, and equal lead TD scorer in the team. Not bad for Ag2. And now he's Ag3. First Stat-up in the team Very Happy

2-1 to the Freezy Trees

This was my second ex-Prem League opposition, and my second ex-Prem League scalp Very Happy The game was really unfair to Redgum. His AV7 was like paper, my AV7 granite. I got the POWs he got the snake-eyes. But he was a really good sport throughout. A very enjoyable game (for me anyway).


Next up is really scarey... I thought POMB was good. Time to meet CLAWPOMB (with horns) Shocked

posted 12 May 2015


Carlton United Conference LIX

Game 6: Daudy's Chaos "Public Service Announcement" Image

More player envy:

Yes, that's right, 265SPP Shocked This one was involved in key moments of the game and was suitably rewarded with the Chaos MVP. Night Patrol scored in the last turn of the first half, and pinned Thing One against the sideline at the end of the 2nd. Clark, who had had a pretty good game, had the chance to free my blitzer to let him score. He didn't roar! Joy! Maybe, just maybe I'd get out of this one with a draw. Failed GFI, nope. /aah

Again, while not as rock solid as last game, my Armour 7 outperformed that of the opposition. CAS count 4-3 in my favour. And Daudy's legendary team drops to TV 1350k, until he goes shopping for the next round.

0-1 to Chaos

A real mixed game. There were too many moments where I simply chose the wrong option and was suitably punished, but others where Nuffle smiled upon me and let me get back into the game when the higher risk move was the only real option. So while I'm footing it with the big boys, there is still a lot to learn. Daudy was a great opponent, I've never faced someone so chatty before, my brain was on go slow this game and found it hard to multitask, so the chat window was pretty much all blue text. Very Happy

So, I can't win the conference but will likely finish 5th or 6th. And will probably play an important role in deciding who wins it. Next up second placed Lizards - the team with the highest Cas count in the conference Neutral

posted 14 May 2015


Carlton United Conference LIX

Game 7: Bobs's Lizardman "SWL Hunting Crocs" Image

Another ex-Prem League team with an ex-Prem Champ coach. Their previous opposition were kind to me by injuring one of their two 100+SPP Sauruses. I brought Zara with my 280k inducement.

A seriously enjoyable game, possibly the most fun of the season, both on the field and in chat. I stuffed up a probable first half TD by thinking I could smash through a diving tackle sidestepping bugger. Still learning, and leaning on Nuffle to close the gap with the more experienced coaches.

Nuffle obliged. 1-1 draw

Plenty of carnage, and again I won the Cas count.
Image Thing One got his second Cas-hattrick (8 Cas in the past 3 games). Give the guy a medal... I might have to, because there are plenty of higher Cas scoring monsters in the conferences who'll get the SWL official gong.


So end of the season. 3-1-3. Against some very experienced and top coaches. My team is intact, didn't lose any favorites. Amazed and rapt. Currently sitting at 3rd, but there are a few teams with games to go, so will drop as far as 6th.

posted 16 May 2015

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 01, 2016 - 23:19
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Blackwater Sting Conference LX

A new season. I've put a few pounds on the TV (1700) and unlike last season I'm far from the lowest TV in the conference.

So who am I up against?

Image TV2100 - Smegish
Image TV2050 - Redmaul (lost to him last season)
Image TV1960 - Luohghchra
Image TV1900 - DrDiscoStu
Image TV1650 - Redgum (beat him last season)
Image TV1620 - cdwat
Image TV1530 - Taketheskull

A nice mix of teams. Looking forward to kickoff tonight 10:30pm against the rats

posted 11 Jun 2015


Blackwater Sting Conference LX

"Bastards!", Thing One was livid. As he scanned through the list for a fifth time his face turned a dark shade of purple.
"Bastards! Did they not see my two, yes TWO Cas hattricks? Do they not know about this!?", Thing One thrust his Silver Fist towards his team mates."Best smashing efficiency in all the conferences, and I don't make the rep team?!? Did they not see what I did to that rat team last season? Who picks this rep team? I'm going to destroy him. BASTARDS!!!"

Game 1: Redgum's Skaven "Redgum's Rodents" Image

Turn 1: Tarv the Rat Ogre flings himself at Thing One and pounds him into the snow. By the end of Turn 4, his sorry badly hurt behind (and smashed ego), had been joined in the Cas bin by 4 team mates (including Star Ulf Lorax), and a further two in the KO box.

Turn 8, and it looked hopeless. It was time for Thing Two and Clark the yeti to step up. Three players left standing, how to stop the rats from collecting the ball and scoring?
Fox the useless Ulf (1 CAS from 19 games!) pushed the Blitzer away from the ball. Thing Two scooped it up and ran. There was no outrunning Tarv, what to do? He hurled the ball at the only player left. Clark the Yeti, raised his claw high in the air and ROARED. End of the half 0-0 Very Happy

No need to speak of the second half. 3-0 to the rodents.

.... next up Taketheskull Very Happy

posted 12 Jun 2015


Blackwater Sting Conference LX

Game 2: Taketheskull's Chaos Pact "Warpsend Wanderers" Image

For once I'm the higher TV team, and by a significant amount. Gus spent 200k on inducements, that's about the same value as Clark the Yeti (190k). Who would perform better Wizard+Card or Clark?

Unlike the Pact minotaur who made a hell of a lot of noise, Clark didn't roar once the entire game. This might have something to do with him spending only 2 turns on the pitch, and the rest of the time in the KO box. Laughing

Both TDs were scored at the end of each half, needing some skillful moves from the players on the pitch. There was no stalling in this match - a very tight affair. The Pact got theirs at the end of the first half courtesy of a Lightning Bolt and an amazing long pass by a marauder. I snatched a draw from the jaws of defeat at the end of the second half with a dodging blitzing Ulf (love break tackle), and a lineman who ran like the wind.

1-1 and I've still never beaten Gus Evil or Very Mad

Next up a badly damaged High Elf team.

posted 28 Jun 2015


Blackwater Sting Conference LX

Game 3: Smegish's High Elf "Mexican Standoff" Image

The Mexican's previous Khemri opponents were very generous to the Freezy Trees taking out four players including two Super Stars. High Elves induced Soaren Hightower.

The Norse coaching staff did not have a great game. Numerous tactical mistakes allowed cages to be broken and Norse ball carriers attacked. Despite the coaching inadequacies the Norse players performed exceedingly well, and were brutal.

An attempt was made to discourage piling on, with both Norse blitzers in the KO bin thanks to the High Elf boot. However, back they came in the 2nd drive, angrier than ever. Thing One secured his 3rd career CAS hatrick.

Extremely down on numbers the Mexicans put up a great game, teaching me a lesson in the art of chain pushing to get a surrounded High Elf receiver to freedom, and scoring a beautiful TD. However, the numbers advantage proved to much. 2-1 to the Trees Very Happy

posted 4 Jul 2015


Blackwater Sting Conference LX

Game 4: DrDiscoStu's Orc "Wäŋa Warriors" Image

OK, now I'm getting nervous. I've got a group of players who've stepped onto the pitch over 20 times, and I'm getting quite attached to them. In comparison no team in the Wellington Masters Division has played more than 20 games. If you want to truly go perpetual, FUMBBL is the place to be.

So prior to this game, I'd gone 4 games without a permanent injury on my AV7/8 Norse. My Block across the board (bar one especially useless Ulf: 22 games 2spp!), helps plenty... but these Orcs pretty much have Block across the board too. And some scary star Black Orcs. And 3 Ag4 blitzers! Despite all this, we're even on TV. WTF? I need to learn the art of the minmax.

Expecting to get crushed, I was surprised to find myself smashing the opposition in the first half. About 6 orcs off the field made it an easy canter to a Turn 8 TD.

Second half the tables turned. Orcs scored on turn 5, I think they were pondering stalling for the draw but then remembered my prone blitzer had Jump Up, so stepped over the line for the TD. My Turn 5 kick off. 'BLITZ!" Another painful lesson to learn, this time on setting up (seems every game is teaching me something). Ball set to land one square into my half. In comes an Ag4 blitzer, surrounds himself with green meat. And I wait, hoping, please!, for the ball to be fumbled back into Orc half. Catch stuck. Game over.

Oh yeah and in this drive my star Ulf got killed. Horrible squelch noise. Apo earned his keep. Lorax survives, phew.

Orcs win 2-1.

Three games to go. Bottom team gets relegated. Second to last may also go down. I'm in real danger of being one of these two teams.

posted 12 Jul 2015


Blackwater Sting Conference LX

Game 5: cdwat's High Elf "Griffon Gate Sentinels" Image

Another High Elf team decimated by the bashy teams in the conference. 6 Journeymen, two homegrown stars, no guard. The game plan was a simple one, take out the stars, take out as many players as possible. Win by simple numbers advantage.

Despite two brain fades, the game plan worked. By the end of the match the High Elves were left with one player on the field being repeatedly jumped on by my wonderful fouler. Sally got through 8 fouls this game, one CAS, and more importantly KO'd the St4 star blitzer. She has entered the FUMBBL Top 25 list for League Norse Foulers (#5 for active players, #15 for all time). Twisted Evil

Even with the carnage the game could have quite easily gone to the Sentinels. They scored quickly at the start of the game. This was followed by a very enjoyable drive. With two guard players flanking the ball carrying Ulf what could go wrong? Fireball! Ball bounces free and in come the elves. I managed to get it back then Brain Fade #1. And the worst thing is I've done this before - so new policy is publicise all my stupid moves so perhaps I won't forget them. NEVER, EVER, blitz free with a ball carrier on a wrestler. Down goes my blodgy ball carrier. But the numbers coupled with an inability for the High Elves to pick up the ball meant I recovered and scored on turn 8.

Again could have gone horribly wrong in the second half when a short kick coupled with perfect defence left the ball next to elves. Brain Fade #2: Blitz elf out the way with Yeti. He has block and if he Roars I'll just surround the ball - no worries. First hit push, second hit is a GFI, failed. Oh shit! Elves again failed their pickups, this was all near the sideline. Frenzy fun ensued.

2-1 to Norse. I think that means I'm safe from demotion. There's even a theoretical chance I could be promoted. Very unlikely though. Two bashy teams to end the season. Dwarf and Khemri. After them there's the chance I may not have much of a team left to start the next season.

nzbbn Post #1000! - woo hoo!

posted 18 Jul 2015


Blackwater Sting Conference LX

Game 6: RedMaul's Dwarf "Asha'maniac" Image

"Boomer you traitor!", was the cry of the dwarf coach when he took the field. Boomer was not a traitor and proceeded to pass the bomb to his dwarf friends. 4 bomb intercepts this game (admittedly one was mine from a return lob).

I struggle against dwarves. It takes good positional play and patience to play with them, and I think it takes good positional play and patience to play against them. I lost out on the patience, broke too early with my Ulf, and got hammered for it.

2-0 loss

Final game is a battle of the boot, against Khemri (we both have players going for the conferences fouling title). It's also a battle for my survival in the conferences. A loss could see me back in the Reggies.

posted 24 Jul 2015


Blackwater Sting Conference LX

Game 7: Luohghcra's Khermri "Sphinxes from Mars" Image

I had three goals going into this one:
1) Win or draw to secure my place in the conferences
2) Don't die, so I have a team for next season
3) Win the Silver Boot for most prolific fouler (Sally)

I had fooled myself into thinking that #1 was most important to me. But when the game started I'd spent 100k of the 350k gap on a wandering Apo, and bought a rookie lineman for cannon fodder. Clearly #2 had some merit.

Self preservation seemed to be the name of the game for my players. First player KO'ed was accompanied in chat by my "Safe in the box!". This mantra was chanted a total of 19 times throughout the game as my players sought sanctuary from the carnage KOed, Badly Hurt, and MNG. It's hard to win a game when you have no players on the pitch. Very Happy

All 14 off the field - Safe in the Box!:

Khemri win 2-0, and take the conference title. Amazing achievement Luo!

So last place on 12 points (2-1-4). Beating the High Elves also on 12 by tiebreaker. I believe I'm safe from demotion, but that is yet to be confirmed. Somehow I went the whole season with no permanent damage or deaths Cool

And Sally? MNG. Taken out after fouling a Thro-Ra to death. The Silver Boot is all hers Twisted Evil

posted 30 Jul 2015

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 02, 2016 - 02:07
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Seussville Slammers Conference LXI

And the draw for this season's conferences has been made. The Freezy Trees narrowly avoided relegation and find themselves (appropriately) in the Seussville Slammers Conference.

The opposition (high to low TV):
Image Malapropism Mania - BeefyGoodness - TV2290
Image Asha'maniac - RedMaul - TV2030
Image Intoxicated Mayhem - Erickan - TV1780
Image Madness Mountain Misery - DustBunny - TV1680 Image
Image Geelong Bull Frogs - JamesFynmore - TV1640
Image Jinxed Jesters - tribalsinner - TV1550
Image Kiwiana Cavaliers - heretek - TV1430 Image

I'm mid table at TV1750. Quite a bash heavy conference, I have a woeful record against bash with this team. First up, for the third season in a row, I have to play RedMaul's Ag4 dwarves Surprised

posted 14 Aug 2015


Seussville Slammers Conference LXI

Game 1: RedMaul's Dwarf "Asha'maniac" Image

It feels like I've been here before. Third season in the conferences, third time up against these Ag4 dwarves. The previous two went to RedMaul, I wasn't expecting anything different this time. As with the last two games I brought Boomer, a wizard, and a babe.

First half Boomer betrayed his dwarf friends by not only getting the bomb into the air, but avoiding interceptions. Yay! However, the dwarf cage marched on. In the end I resorted to a lightning bolt to shake the ball free, rushed in picked up and flung it back field. The dwarves hoed in, knocked me away from the ball, scooped it up and scored. 1-0 Half time.

OK, my turn with the ball. I got tied up way too easily in the dwarf defenses - needing 1D blocks to get free. Eventually my runner bolted. One square short of scoring, the dwarf runner had one shot at stopping him. Push. Reroll. Skull. Score!!! Very Happy

Oh yeah, I killed an Ag4 blitzer (apoed to safety), and -MV on a St4 Troll Slayer. Not a bad start to the season.

Spiraling expenses? That's new. -10k

Next game I face my first Legend Player: "The Abdominal Snowman" a Bull Centaur (186SPP) fresh from a stint in Prem. What's he doing slumming it in the conferences?

posted 16 Aug 2015


Seussville Slammers Conference LXI

Game 2: BeefyGoodness's Chaos Dwarf "Malapropism Mania" Image

Third season in the conferences, and I believe this is the first Legend player that I've faced***. The Abdominal Snowman, what a baby cannon (and labelled as such in the game client)

First turn Sally strolls over to a prone Dwarf and sticks the boot in, MNG (yay!), sent off (boo!). Another game where I stuff up at key moments. Frenzy blitzing my ball carrying Ulf to freedom didn't work as he ended up next to a diving tackler hobgoblin. Dodge failed, things go downhill from there.

Just how do you get the ball off a player like the Abdominal Snowman? Lightning bolt? - fizzer. How about a star player? Wilhelm Chaney had a 1/3 chance of dislodging it with a 1D block. What a star! Very Happy

I nearly got pitch cleared (2 linemen left on the field at the end of the 2nd drive). My blodging yeti took a nasty hit (-MV), apoed to saftey.

A 2-0 loss, time to reassess things. I think I may need to put the hard yards in. Study tactics, spectate more games involving good coaches, grab me a mentor, watch norse games (with good norse coaches). Nah, sounds like too much hard work. I'll learn the old fashion way by continuing to stuff things up and (hopefully) remembering what not to do in future. Much more fun that way - and I am having a blast Very Happy

posted 26 Aug 2015

*** edit: incorrect, my memory must have failed. scroll up 10 games and you'll see the first one

Seussville Slammers Conference LXI

Game 3: JamesFynmore's Slann "Geelong Bull Frogs" Image

I last played this team in the Regionals and was feeling pretty confident. I have a woeful record against Bash, but against Agility I've done OK so far. The Bull Frogs have had a tough time of late and came in with two journeymen, their second best player out with injury. Slann Inducements taken: Sliblii, Wizard, Apo, and a dirty trick.

"You made hard work of that one Ramchop", was a comment in chat after the match. Success after a hard day's work feels good. Froggie armour held up well against my brutality and there was to be no easy canter through decimated opposition. Much of the second half was dancing along the half way line looking for a good spot to push through.

So a 1-0 victory, I'm happy with the grind this time. I'll save the crazy stuff for my Fling team Very Happy

posted 26 Aug 2015


In my 28th game I faced my first Legend player. I'm scheduled to play my 30th game tonight... against this:


Five Legend players! Five! Shocked

posted 15 Sep 2015


Pixel Love

Much note worthy nonsense happened in last night's game... but for now, a moment of silence...


On the Top 25 [L]eague Norse Foulers list: #13= for All Time foulers
Image Winner of the Silver Boot, LX
Sally was a much loved original member of the Freezy Trees. She will be missed.
Rest in Peace

posted 16 Sep 2015


Seussville Slammers Conference LXI

Game 4: Erickan's Orc "Intoxicated Mayhem" Image

As noted above this was one huge team with huge players. If I had any hope of success I needed to be on my game.

So what did I do first turn? Total Brain lapse. Mixed up the Fireball rules with Bombardier - I've played about a half century of goblin games I should know how a bloody bomb works. And I do.... just not in that moment of the game where I threw it at a prone Wilhelm Chaney surrounded by 5 orcs. BOOM! Dead Wolf, Regen failed, oh shit.

Wilhelm was soon followed by a badly hurt yeti and the good Ulf. Suddenly getting a 2D block on a team of mostly St4+ and Guard went from a bit tricky to near impossible. It was one of those games where you want to curl up in a ball and laugh at the insanity of it all. And this was only turn 4.

I only managed 9 blocks the whole game. Dodging wasn't the wisest of choices either, a dead Sally can attest to that.

By turn 16 I had two players left throwing the ball to each other in a pitiful attempt to garner a few SPPs. One got stunned so there was only one action left at turn 16. Thing One dodged away, ran around the huddle and stuck the boot into a prone bona fide Legend. DEAD! Apo - safe

Well done to a friendly and apologetic Erickan. My team took a lot of damage, but after well over a season with zero permanents, this was long overdue for my Av7 team. 0-4 loss.


So 30 games under my belt. Time for a bit of reflection. In a competition featuring some excellent coaches and some scary teams my record stands at 10/6/14. Not too shabby - quite content with that. Let's break it down a bit:

Against BASH: Image Image Image Image Image Image 0/1/8
Against AGILITY: Image Image Image Image Image Image 6/2/2

More Ag please SWL.

Next up... Nurgle Confused

posted 16 Sep 2015


Seussville Slammers Conference LXI

Game 5: DustBunny's Nurgle "Madness Mountain Misery" Image

One day maybe I'll be good enough to do as the more seasoned coaches do and blame the dice. But for now I'll continue to spend my posts acknowledging my own idiocy.

Ramchop's Self Help Programme for Improvement:
1) Learn to count
2) Count
3) Recount
4) Get verification of the recount. Hell, even if it's 12am, wake someone up, you know you can't count fool
5) Repeat steps 1-4
6) Take your turn

A very enjoyable game, against fun opposition. Only spent half of it kicking myself as the miscount (I thought he was out of range!) happened right at the end of the first half. Anyway, instead of enduring more self pity, have a read of a real match report (courtesy of DustBunny):
DustBunny wrote:
Game 4 - Freezy Trees - Win 2-1
A confused Misery spewed out on to the pitch amidst a stadium full of mourning Norse fans. It appeared that they were all morning the loss of a particularly foul playing line-woman whose boot had laid many low. Frustrated by the hold up to the kick off a rather abrupt call of "'urry up and !@#%!@# already you !@#!@^ #$@#%@%. Mourn ya' !@#!%!&*# hairy #$(&$ *#$&#%*( later!" came from the coaches dugout. Enraged by the disrespect they were facing the Freezy Trees went on the offensive and sent several of the Misery off the field unconscious. Unable to stop the drive of the Norse the Misery busied themselves harassing the flanks and sent a couple of the scantily clad muscle men off for medical treatment. The Norse were forced to score under duress, and the Misery prepared to equalise the scoreboard. The nefarious Coach DustBunny was seen rubbing powder under the noses of his unconscious players and they all returned to the pitch. A drive was mounted up one flank and with the disheartened Norse fleeing from his path Woodstock received the ball from Mr_Foulscumm and evened the score as the half time buzzer rang. Setting up for the second half the elated Misery prepared to assault the Norse again. Once more it was successful with the Norse unable to stop their advance, and Mr_Foulscumm scoring with plenty of time left on the clock. While the teams were preparing for the final drive the weather took a turn and the rain came pouring down. The Norse boldly screened the ball to prevent the misery scoring again, but were unable to move it out of their own half to tie the game. As the disheartened Norse left the field amongst their disheartened fans, the remaining Misery fans heckled them and threw beer cans.

posted 18 Sep 2015


Seussville Slammers Conference LXI

Game 6: heretek's Elf "Kiwiana Cavaliers" Image

An Agility team! A Wellington derby! And pretty much the decider for the wooden spoon and relegation!

Game plan was simple. Smash da Elves! Game plan didn't work so well in the first half. Not much damage and with two babes in the box the numbers weren't swaying my way.

First drive. I received, Wizard firebombed cage, in came the elves. Possession changed hands a few times but the ball continued its merry way back into my half. Elves score 0-1
Second drive. I received. Brave elves, annoying side stepping elves, surround my cage. Time running out I try some Elf BS - it fails. heretek shows me how Elf BS works. Long pass 2+. I need to kill that thrower 0-2
Third drive. Elves received. Blitz! The ball was a little out of range so time to target that thrower. The angry Norse finally started to dish out the pain. After a bit of a scare with Elf possesion in my half, it was a fairly easy canter through decimated lines to score. 1-2
Fourth drive. Elves received. Babes failed 2 recoveries and it was 10 angry Norse against 6 elves. This quickly became 5. Only the clock could stop me, and it came down to the last turn to score. Annoying sidestepping blitzer took 3 blocks to take down (using up a reroll in the process). So to score I needed a pick up, and a hand off. I had counted it (multiple times) and no GFIs were needed. Pick up - success! Walk to the receiver.... Nuffle didn't curse me... so what did?

Spot the error:

Well done heretek 2-1 victory to the elves. A fun and close game. I'm off to beat myself up for another week. Crying or Very sad

posted 2 Oct 2015


Seussville Slammers Conference LXI

Preveiw: Game 7

And so it comes down to the last game. To avoid relegation a draw could be enough, a win should be enough. So my bottom of the table Norse, face the top of the table Dark Elves. The Dark Elves are coached by the #4 ranked NAF coach in Australia, the Norse are coached by... me.

I could look to my record against Agility. That didn't work last time.
I could cross my fingers and hope that the Orc Legend Spam team smash them to pieces in their Round 6 fixture.
I could pray to Nuffle


I've played tribasinner twice before. Once in a NAF online tourney, once in the Trial of Blood. I won both fixtures! The most recent one 5-1! I'm unbeatable! Case closed, relegation avoided. MWAAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHAHAA!!!!!

posted 3 Oct 2015


Seussville Slammers Conference LXI

Game 7: tribalsinner's Dark Elf "Jinxed Jesters" Image

A big game, a loss means the wooden spoon and certain relegation. The opposition were aiming for the title and promotion - plenty of incentive to beat me. Time to smash D'Elves.

Jesters receive. I'm not scared of Dark Elves, they're "Paper". Set up Clark the yeti and two Ulf's on the LOS. Let's see him deal to that! First turn, one Ulf KO'ed and the other two on their backsides. Fairly quick canter to the End Zone 0-1 down

An Ag3, Break Tackle Ulf is a lovely thing. Lorax scored twice. First time a simple dodge, second time a frenzy blitz with ball in hand - push, push, dodge. 2-1 up

With both sides down on players the Jesters scored easily with passing. 2-2. And that's how it stayed. Probably the most enjoyable game of my season - so tense, carnage on both sides, TDs, so much to play for.

Another positive, I have a replacement for the late great Sally. In his first outing after being trained as a Dirty Player, Yertle killed a lineman, and forced a blodging blitzer into retirement. Twisted Evil

So... how does a draw leave me? To avoid the spoon I need fellow cellar dwellers Slann or Elf to lose. Both are playing teams vying for promotion, and wanting wins to take the conference title. Both not losing is "about as likely as an anorexic tapeworm" came a comment from chat - so staying up looked probable. So what happens last night? Frogs draw. Sad

heretek's Pro Elves vs Legend Spam Orcs. If heretek doesn't lose - I'm back to the Regionals.

posted 13 Oct 2015

Last edited by ramchop on Apr 13, 2017 - 12:06; edited 1 time in total

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 02, 2016 - 02:17
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Off Regional LXII

It's official, the Freezy Trees have been relegated and are back to Tier 3, The Regionals. It's looking like SWL is headed for its biggest season ever, nudging 55 coaches (9 kiwis). Ten goals for the Trees this season:

1) Win their regional group
2) Return to the Conferences
3) Beat a Bash team (still never done it)
4) Get a superstar (>75spp)
5) End the season with at least 3 stars (>50spp)
6) Return to a positive Cas differential
7) Win a player award
8 ) Have the big three survive the season unscathed (Clark, Lorax, Thing One)
9) Be part of a victorious DIBBL Invaders faction
10) Get a Stat increase on a player

posted 23 Oct 2015


Off Regional LXII

From perennial whipping boys to the biggest TV team in the group. Maybe relegation isn't such a bad thing. Twisted Evil Only one "Rock" team in this group too. So who do the TV1810k Freezy Trees have to face this season?:

Image Balle2000 TV1590k
Image cdwat TV1470k
Image Drakeular TV1300k
Image DrPoods TV1300k
Image Bobs TV1290k
Image Wex TV1280k
Image paradocks TV1260k

posted 25 Oct 2015


Off Regional LXII

Game 1: Bobs' Elf "Daemon Ex Tesserae" Image

So the dumb kid gets dropped down a year. After a moment of discouragement, he relishes the prospect of terrorizing his weaker new classmates. So what happens to this bully? A "paper" thin boy stands up to him in the playground and beats the crap out of him.

Smashed! By Elves! Shocked

Three seasons in the conferences have seen the Freezy Trees suffer quite a few bashings. But only one (the Sphinxes) was higher than the -5 CAS diff of this beating - and that wasn't quite as brutal. Turn 1, emerging star Thing Two - murdered! Turn 2, rookie lineman - murdered! The norse players were quite simply gobsmacked, and despite outblocking them (with frequent Mighty Blow and Piling On) failed to hurt a single elf the whole game.
And, then the worst moment of the game... Turn 15, with the only possible route to the ball carrying blitzer being a blitz by Clark the Yeti, dodge (FAIL), dodge skill (FAIL), armor broken, DEAD!!!
This was closely followed by the best moment of the game, apo (held back from rescuing Thing Two), success. This man does not need to buy his own drinks ever again (well not this week anyway).

0 - 1 loss.

So what to learn from this? Certainly positionally I was outplayed, but I'd expect nothing less from a former Prem winning coach. Perhaps the revenge blitzing his serial killer and tying up players for assists in the process was not very wise, but I don't think I played terribly. No, this time I'll blame the players and not the coach Very Happy

posted 29 Oct 2015


Off Regional LXII

Game 2: Wex's Chaos "Urban Nightmare" Image

Zero Cas for, Five against, Two deaths... this looks familiar. The Trees were smashed again.

Trees leading 1-0. The Ag4 Chaos Warrior stands 4 steps shy of a TD, a TD on turn 14 would give them time against potentially only 3 players to romp in for victory at the death. What to do?


Ulf Magic! Dodging into 2 tackle zones, then again into the clear, 1 on 1, Smashed him! Ball bounced and Lorax collected it. Then in came the Chaos. Lorax stands up to the 2D blitz and the reroll. Then he's off again. Dodging, accurate short pass to the blodgy lineman (who dropped it).
Sadly Chaos covered the ball and Lorax failed the GFI to clear the beastman away. With only 2 players left on defense of course Chaos scored. So I should be happy with the draw - but of course I'm not Cool

Treasury has taken a battering over the past two games. With the four deaths and the impending retirement of the -Ag Luke Luck, that's 480k chopped off the TV in two games! Shocked

So what good could come of this game? MVP deservedly went to the hero Lorax. A bona fide Star. He now has Blodge Very Happy

posted 1 Nov 2015


Off Regional LXII

Game 3: Drakeular's Human "Black as Death" Image

What would it take to turn the recent Cas suffered around? A chainsaw to the face of the Yeti! After witnesssing Clark stunned on the ground in Turn 1, the Trees went psycho. Helmut Wolf killed in the Norse Turn 1. The Blocky Ogre Ag damaged shortly after.

Game 1: 0-5 Cas, 2 deaths
Game 2: 0-5 Cas, 2 deaths
Game 3: 5-0 Cas, 2 kills! Twisted Evil

I like to box. How I like to box.
So every day I box a Gox.
In yellow socks I box my Gox.
I box in yellow Gox box socks.

In his first game Ulf Gox gets MVP. No Cas, no TD, what did he do to desreve this award? Gox took 9 blocks on the chin. Knocked down 7 times. And on Turn 8 he was KOed with a foul. But back he came for more at the start of the 2nd half. Welcome to the Trees Gox Very Happy

2-0 win for the good guys.

posted 13 Nov 2015


Off Regional LXII

Game 4: Balle2000's Norse "Wonga Wonga Whalekillers" Image

After sea of whale empty,
broke sailors stranded
cannot go Norsca.

In Southwasten
can only drink, bowl,
and try forget.


The Legendary Norse team of the Southern Wastes. Four Premierships! And if you ever want to see just how far you can take the fluff in FUMBBL check out their bio. Two legend players, one more getting close. Just what the hell is this team doing in the Reggies?

I was really looking forward to this clash. I think the players may have been a bit star struck.

Turn 6 of the first half. The FIRST HALF!!

The Reggies are too tough for me. I want back in the soft gentle bosom-full embrace of the Conferences. Sadly I don't think I'll get back there this season.

Socre 0-3, Cas 2-7.
Nothing permanent except the dead thrower who I wasn't sure about hiring anyway.

posted 19 Nov 2015


Off Regional LXII

Game 5: JoeKano's Ogre "Nu Big Ladz" Image

Stunties! Yay! This should be easy... or embarrassing.
Ogres! Boo! If elves can smash me, what could Ogres do?

1st Drive. The Freezy Trees received and seeing Clark on the floor thanks to a well timed snotling chop block, awaiting a stampede of boots, quickly scored. 1-0
2nd Drive. Thanks to a big kick downfield and some Ogre boneheadery, the Norse managed to get the ball and score! 2-0

2nd half
Looking good on the scoreboard. But starting with only 11 (including 2 journeymen), means that any Cas chomps into the lineup pretty smartly. Ogre POWs, snotling boots, and a beautiful chain of four bombadier craters meant there were only 5 Norsemen left to setup after halftime.
By turn 2 of the half there were only 3 Norse left. We prayed to the Gods of Bonehead in the hope it may stall the inevitable TD. But it was the yeti who needed to step up.

- With 1 assist Clark pounded a corner of the 4 pronged Ogre cage. Smashed him! Serious injury (MNG), Apo, even worse injury! Clark stood happily next to the snot with the ball.
- In come the Ogres. [SKULL] [BOTH DOWN], down goes the blitzer stunned
- Time to smack that snotling. Three dice block, what could possibly go wrong......?


Oh pizzle!
ummm..... reroll? Loner passed... [SKULL].... [SKULL].... [PUSH]
And then the frenzy comes through to smash that snotling into the dirt and off the field.

Then the lineman rushed over, scooped up the ball and made a lone dash into the opposition half. Angry Ogres on the way. Gods of Bonehead answered our prayers.

3-0 to the good guys.

A crazy game, played in great spirit by a coach who had to endure far more blitzing boneheads than was even remotely fair.

And no permanent injuries Very Happy

posted 21 Nov 2015


Off Regional LXII

Game 6: cdwat's Underworld "Cripple Peak Stone-Stealers" Image

First half. Lorax has the ball, his team mates are having fun knocking out opposition players. What can a bunch of goblins do? Two headed guard goblins are annoying. Two headed horns goblins are a bit dangerous. After bringing in the assists, in like a fanatic came a dancing horns blitz:

I was fairly gentle in the first drive. Just one Cas Laughing

A fun game, where I spent a good part of it hunting a freak Star thrower Extra Arms, Two Heads, Big Hand - "Thrake". Multiple blitzes, blocks, and a good team booting (which KOed him for a turn), but nothing could remove this monstrosity. Until turn 16. Thrake blitzes the rookie Ulf Gox. [SKULL][SKULL]l. Niggle! Apo -Av. Take that you Freak!

2-1 to the Freezy Trees Very Happy

And Clark with his two Cas becomes the first ever Star Yeti to grace the fields of SWL.


Final round and my fate is in my own hands. No praying for other results. If I beat the Slann team, I secure 2nd spot and promotion is assured.

posted 8 Dec 2015


Off Regional LXII

Game 7: DrPoods' Slann "Henson's Henchmen" Image

Win and I get second place, lose or draw and face another season in the reggies. I love the big games!

Slann. The two times the Trees have played Slann we have come away with wins, largely through smashing them off the park. This is a different Slann team though, with the coach favouring blitzers overs catchers. On paper I felt the Norse had it all over their opposition: no guard, tackle, sure hands or strip ball. Lorax was getting the ball in this game. What they did have though was a lot of wrestle (I hate wrestle), three blitzers (I HATE diving tackle), including two potentially dangerous stat blitzers (I hate stats - coz I'm jealous Sad ), and a wizard.

After the wizard fizzled it was up to the star blitzers to be annoying. And man they were annoying. Having two DTs on the ball carrier makes for some interesting decisions. Fozzie Bear had S4, Block and Mighty Blow; Sam the Eagle was the real pest Ag4, SS and blodge. Lorax was a star though, blitzing free a number of times (against Fozzie) and never risking a dodge with his break tackle.

The bash game was fairly even, and setting up for the final drive at 1-1 with only 8 against his 10 was worrying. Lorax did the business breaking deep into the opposition half. But on his tail came the annoying Eagle. What to do? Dodge (DT)? Blitz with Lorax (against the side stepper)? No, it was time for tackler Thing One to be the hero, a nervous stumble out of the blocks (rerolled dodge), in the manic one charged [PUSH][POW/PUSH]. Lorax was free! Trees win 2-1 Very Happy


So I get second, edging the Chaos team in a TD tiebreaker by the narrowest of margins. Got to be happy with that after the horror start. Back to the conferences we go Very Happy

...oh yes, how about those goals Gus? Of the ten listed I only achieved three:
- return to the Conferences
- end the season with at least 3 stars (>50spp) I've got four
- have the big three survive the season unscathed (Clark, Lorax, Thing One)

Must try harder. Plenty to work on next season Cool

posted 12 Dec 2015

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 02, 2016 - 02:46
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Harlequins of Despair Conference LXIII

OK Gus, for you.
Last season I set out 10 goals to aim for in the season. I achieved a whopping 3 of them. So perhaps not surprisingly many of the unfinished goals appear again this season.

1) Promotion to Prem!
2) Avoid relegation to the Reggies
3) Beat a Bash team (still never done it)
4) Get a superstar (>75spp). Nah. Get TWO superstars
5) Get two new faces on the DIBBL Invaders Player Leaderboard
6) Return to a positive Cas differential
7) Win a player award
8 ) Have the big three survive the season unscathed (Clark, Lorax, Thing One)
9) Be part of a victorious DIBBL Invaders faction in Wastepac
10) Get a Stat increase on a player

Also an unmeasurable goal. Learn the art of the loose cage.

posted 10 Jan 2016


Harlequins of Despair Conference LXIII

My team is now one year old. Five seasons under its belt.

How does Season 63 look for the Freezy Trees?

Teams (in order that I play them):
Image Griffon Gate Sentinels (TV1800)
Image Mexican Standoff (TV2210)
Image Large Head-on Colliders (TV1380)
Image Prancing Unicorns (TV1850)
Image Autumn's leaves (TV2060)
Image SWL Fun Police (TV2280)
Image Dallas Drowboys (TV1730)

Four Paper, Three Rock, and me (TV1850) the only Scissor.

Beaten both the High Elves before. Lost to the Woodies. I don't think I've played anyone else.

Don't be fooled by the low TV of the chorfs - they've got a million tucked away in the bank and will go shopping. They've just come out of a brutal URN encounter (the annual Ashes series of FUMBBL), where they lost a 333spp Legend. Five time Premiership wnners I'm sure they'll be ready to smash me by Round 3.

The real threat to my health is Nurgle. The Fun Police don't always play for the win, sometimes the joy of killing is enough Surprised

posted 12 Jan 2016


Harlequins of Despair Conference LXIII

Game 1: cdwat's High Elf "Griffon Gate Sentinels" Image

I felt fairly confident going into this one. I'd beaten this team before, and the Trees have never gone down to a High Elf team. That was before the teams lined up and I realised I'd miscalculated the TV difference. The two babes I thought would show up, was actually a Wizard.

The High Elves scored quickly, then there was the slow march downfield wondering just when the Wizard would strike. Instead in came a leaping Ag5St4 monster who wrestled Pop to the ground, the ball bounced fortuitously into the hands of Little Cat A. The Wizard struck, with a fireball - all that Av7 was just too tempting for the greedy opposition coach. Little Cat A scored.

So with the wizard a fizzer, the lack of babes turn my miscalculation into a megabonus. Only 6 elves to face at the start of the second half. Laughing

Image Thing One, became my first ever Blood Bowl superstar killing an opposition Catcher. He then went on to get a second Cas. And the skill was..... 6 & 6. A stat! Oh, what a stat! One season goal ticked off. Very Happy

Image Pop. Team captain. Up against an Ag5 strip baller this surehanded blodger was always going to be my designated ball carrier for this game. He scored the winning touchdown after some risky stalling. Also got a Cas. Sadly, Pop leading from the front lined up on the LOS on the last turn of the game. Knocked over then T16 fouled by a dirty elf. RIP Pop, you'll be missed.

2-1 victory.

Next up High Elf Very Happy

(FUMBBL crashed near the end of this game so no replay available, however all was good and the game was picked up and finished off 5 hours later)

posted 25 Jan 2016


Harlequins of Despair Conference LXIII

Game 2: Smegish's High Elf "Mexican Standoff" Image

This was the Mexican's 100th game - what an achievement! Very Happy

I brought Mr Chaney to the party.

Drive 1) I receive. An annoying elf called Isabella (S4 Leap Tackle), inappropriately labelled "c ock", leaps into my cage, knocks over Lorax with a 1D blitz. Then more elf BS ensues. Run in pickup (1TZ), hand-off, ruuuuuunnnnn! Survive frenzy 2D blitz, score!
Drive 2) I receive. Blitz! Into my half runs an elf. My turn. Clark [SKULL][SKULL] (note to self - move Big Guys last!). Loner fails. In runs an elf, hands off to blitzy elf. Score!

Drive 3) I receive. Oh dear, 2 turns to score. Time for some Norse BS. Turn 8:
Only player who can score is Old Fish - the runner in 2 tackle zones. Ulf knocks an elf away from Clark the Yeti.. now let's count the dice...
- Clark comes in for a blitz on one of the TZ elfves. Roar! (2+) [3], Dodge [1] (FAIL!), Dodge skill [5] (success!), [POW][PUSH]. Clark is an idiot picks Pow and finds himself blocking Old Fish's route to glory. Dodge (2+) [4] (BT success!)
- Lorax comes in and hands off to Old Fish (4+) [5] (success!)
- Old Fish dodge (4+) [6] (success!), dodge (3+) [3] (success!), GFI [3] (success!), GFI [3] (success!) - SCORE!
Drive 4) I kick. Elf thrower fails a GFI in his own half and suddenly there's the ball waiting for Lorax to swoop in and scoop it up. Grind, surviving many a hit by the annoying "c ock", Score!

2-2 what a game! Very Happy

But what about my brand new Superstar? I hear you ask. Thing One got off to an awkward start.
- His team mates forgot he's acquired super strength and insisting on assisting his first blitz (KO).
- 2nd blitz on an emerging star Catcher - Pile On (KILL!), apo (KILL!).
- 3rd blitz was on that lone ball carrier, failing to knock her over and allowing her to score.
- 4th blitz, Thing One got c ocky and charged into Elf half, Piles on the armour roll and fails to break armour.
- 5th blitz?.... there was no 5th blitz. Thing One was fouled after his 4th blitz pile on. (DEAD!), apo (DEAD!). Seven turns with a Superstar player. Pixel sadness Crying or Very sad

posted 28 Jan 2016


Harlequins of Despair Conference LXIII

Game 3: Barre's Chaos Dwarf "Large Head-on Colliders" Image

All-time biggest Legend of SWL.

After two games against "Paper" where I lost a Star and Super Star, I was a tad nervous going into the first "Rock" game of the season. While François is astounding, it was his team mate, a Mighty Blow Dauntless Piling On Frenzy blocker that had me more nervous.

The nerves were justified. At the end of turn 2, 4 players had been removed from the pitch - 3 of them in the Seriously Injured box. Then turn 8, the dreaded "Sploosh", Lorax dead! Surprised

Unlike last game where the apo failed Thing One (pixel sadness!), this time there was relief, followed by a half where nerves were replaced by sheer terror. The deadly blocker was accompanied by a Dirty Player hobgoblin who the ref ignored for a full 7 fouls, most of which seemed to be targetted at fan favorite Clark the Yeti.

2 - 0 loss. One dead blitzer, 2 niggles. Both stars survive unscathed. Despite being totally overpowered and outnumbered I felt I put on a good show. Knocked the ball from his hands once, with enough pressure that his legends felt the need to score rather than the preferred rookie Bull. Got within scoring range. And maneuvered a Strip Ball hit on a ball carrier. And Clark got two Cas - "ROAR!"

posted 8 Feb 2016


Harlequins of Despair Conference LXIII

Game 4: Keothi's Orc "Prancing Unicorn" Image

Luke Skywalker MA7ST5AG4 Blitzer. Oh how Clark wanted to stick his claws into that. Sadly he never got the chance, fouled, Smashed Ankle, Clark will miss his first ever game next round.

I did discover the joy of dauntless. Knocked the ball from the grasp of young Skywalker. But the surehanded monster simply hopped up and scored the equaliser.

1 - 1 Draw. Next up Wood Elves. Where have all my bashers gone? Sad

posted 11 Feb 2016


Harlequins of Despair Conference LXIII

Game 5: Dlock's Wood Elf "Autumn Leaves" Image

I've played this team before, way back in season 59. Lost 3-1, but smashed them on Cas 6-1. This time though my team is a little broken, out guarded and out mightyblowed - by Wood Elves!

430k inducements. With that number Nuffle is just screaming for Morg. Sadly, Morg was a bit of a muppet. Failed the pick-up, Elves score. Failed to Cas, Elves score. Elves receive, Elves score.

3-0 down with a couple of turns to go, and the Wood Elves do something a bit odd. They hide in the corner. Well all of them did apart from the 3 LOS, and a greedy Mighty Blow looking for a Cas. Morg killed the Mighty Blow, and Lorax strolled in for the easiest TD of his career. A new SuperStar Very Happy

3-1 loss, 3-1 Cas for Norse.

Next up the SWL Fun Police. A Nurgle team averaging nearly 5 Cas per game. I think I may copy those Wood Elves and hide in the corner. Surprised

posted 22 Feb 2016


Harlequins of Despair Conference LXIII

Game 6: Semitence's Nurgle "SWL Fun Police" Image


The stuff of nightmares, SWL Fun Police. Three of his Nurgle Warriors were so nasty I didn't even bother labelling them - just assumed they all had Block, Guard, Claw, Mighty Blow. The Pestigors had a bit more variety, including a dash of Piling On. Though my hopes of victory and promotion were long gone, I did want to avoid the spoon. So, no hiding in the corner for me... well, not at the start of the game anyway.

Inducements: Wilhelm, Boomer (disposable decoys), Apo, Wizard.

First half I received. and then... well, my players went nuts. They don't need a coach when they can play like that. Clark spent most of the drive 4 paces back from the line Roaring at the opposition. His team mates took his encouragement and steadily removed Nurgle players from the pitch. By turn 7 there were only 3 opposition players left on the field. Mostly KOed, but Clark had broken the neck of the highest SPP Nurgle Warrior. Easy score for Lorax. Amazingly I had 10 players on the field at the end of the drive, and Boomer could comfortably watch turn 8 without being forced on the field. 1-0.

Second half. Time for a slight shift in momentum.
At the end of my turn 2, Lorax had blitzed into a firebombed cage and taken the ball. Four team mates had already left the field.
Nurgle turn 3, Lorax is KOed, ball lost. Five players gone
My turn 3, Clark blitzes [SKULL][SKULL], loner reroll failed, Fractured skull (-AV), Apo Dead... we'll take the head knock thanks
My turn 5, Old Fish the runner dodges clear and blitzes his Pestigor ball carrier. Ball knocked free... Old Fish has the ball! Five paces from his own End Zone, and one team mate left on the field.
Nurgle turn 6. They score.

Maybe I should have spent the 100k on Bloodweiser Babes and not a second Apo. Only one of four KOs return. Five Norse vs 11 Nurgle. No way I'm scoring in two turns. Time to hide in the corner.

1 - 1 draw

... but that first half. Wow! Very Happy

posted 23 Feb 2016


Harlequins of Despair Conference LXIII

Game 7: JamesFynmore's Dark Elf "Dallas Drowboys" Image

It's only this Dark Elf team's second season and going into this game it's sitting pretty at the top of a Conference. 530k inducements, they've built up a decent team. However, the last two times the Freezy Trees have faced a JamesFynmore team (Slann) we've won!

A very challenging game. Pitch Invasion on my receipt, 4 or 5 players down. The first half was no repeat of my previous game. Zero Cas the whole game except right near the end when inducement Wilhelm killed a lineman. Two sidestepping blodging diving tacklers were an absolute nightmare. I don't think the result was ever in doubt here, good game James.



So another season done, best case I finish 3rd to last. More likely 2nd to last. However, there are rumours of a 4th Conference opening up. That would mean it's unlikely that I'll drop.

Time for a bit of navel gazing. SWL is bloody tough. My team has suffered a beating over the last two seasons. The opposing coaches are mostly better than me and I'll struggle to not yoyo between bottom on Conference/top of Regionals. However, I feel I'm improving (top of Regionals is better than mid-Reggies where I started).

I think Norse are difficult in a high TV environment. They excel at low TV when their block spam counts for a lot, against higher TV all the opposition have a lot of block and generally higher armour. I need Mighty Blow (only one since my berezerkers went down), I need Guard (only one since the 2 zerks and Pop), I need Tackle (only one....).

Most importantly I'm enjoying the challenge, not considering redrafting just yet.

oh yes, those season goals...

1) Promotion to Prem! FAIL
2) Avoid relegation to the Reggies SUCCESS - finished 6th out of 8
3) Beat a Bash team (still never done it) FAIL - but I did avoid defeat in 2 out of the 3
4) Get a superstar (>75spp). Nah. Get TWO superstars SUCCESS - though one lasted less than half a game
5) Get two new faces on the DIBBL Invaders Player Leaderboard SUCCESS - Clark CAS (25), Lorax Rushing yards (397 yards)
6) Return to a positive Cas differential FAIL - but did close the gap a tiny bit
7) Win a player award FAIL
8 ) Have the big three survive the season unscathed (Clark, Lorax, Thing One) FAIL
9) Be part of a victorious DIBBL Invaders faction in Wastepac FAIL - but singlehandedly won one match
10) Get a Stat increase on a player FAIL

posted 2 Mar 2016

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 02, 2016 - 03:35
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Emily Regional LXIII

Just what does a team created for a knock out tournament do after being sent home on Round 1? Morgwegian suffered such a fate in the Big Star Cauldron. Morg was badly hurt by Big Bertha before he had his Turn 1. Without Morg the team was lost, and defeat was a foregone conclusion.

But no! Morg would not be silenced, so the Norse played the inducement game. Morg has appeared in every game the team has ever played. Initially a friendly or two, then a successful Lambhurly Shield Challenge. After losing the Shield, Morg took a bit of a break. Then signed up to play in a SWL Fringe tourney Waikikamukau Festival. The team surprised many winning the first two games against much bigger teams, before defeat in the last 2 rounds saw him finish mid-table. However, Morg did secure most individual Cas in the tournament.

So what was next for Morg? Well, in SWL, occassionally you'll find there's a division with an odd number of teams. Or perhaps a team never showed up to the starting blocks. In LXIII a Norse team "Mad Midgardians" had a somewhat brutal encounter with a goblin tandem chainsaw act. After 5 turns the Norse had suffered a death, 2 x -ST, and a MNG. Dummy well and truely spat, the Norse coach conceded, retired his team, and left FUMBBL, never to be seen in SWL again. So a Filler team was needed. This team was Morgwegian.

Shitt this is a fun team to play with. Morg has had an absolute ball in the Emily Regional. In five games Morg has scored 4 TDs and 10 Cas. Not being able to pick opponents as meant the inducement game occassionally requires a bit of work. Against DDamAge's Rats, he had to fire his perfectly healthy pet Ulf and go into the game with only 9 teammates. But Morg has been a success story. Despite getting one less game than the other teams (he carries the Round 1 concession loss), with 3 wins and 2 draws, Morg is in a position to take the trophy.

All that stands in his way is a Khemri team. Sphinxes from Mars, a team that pitch cleared Freezy Trees a few seasons back. The Trees have never beaten a bash team. However, Morgwegian has! A win early next week will secure the Regional victory!

But before that happens Morg must cross back across the ditch. And play 6 games on the Deserted Isles. Morg is coming to the Capital Shield! (a Wellington table top tournament) Very Happy


posted 3 Mar 2016

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 02, 2016 - 03:54
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SWL Defilers Conference LXIV

A new season, my 7th. Still in the second tier what's the lay of the land look like?

The teams (in the order that I face them):
Image Madness Mountain Misery (TV2000k)
Image Banner of the Black Stag (TV1620)
Image [SWL] Jeagers (TV1790)
Image Necromanteía (TV1520)
Image New World Winers and Diners (TV1580k)
Image Wäŋa Warriors (TV2140k)
Image Sphinxes from Mars (TV1790k)

If my TV1830k team can survive the crucifixion tonight against Nurgle, I think I've got a reasonable chance of doing OK this season... before being ripped limb from limb in the last two games.

In the past two seasons I've (foolishly) publicly set myself lists of ten goals for the season. Both times I've achieved only 3/10. Time to set the bar a bit lower?

1) Finish in the top half of the table
2) Avoid relegation to the Reggies
3) Beat a Bash team (still never done it)
4) Rebuild the team so it has at least: 2xTackle, 2xGuard, 2x Mighty Blow
5) Kill or force into retirement a Star (>51 spp) not inclluding one of my own!
6) Return to a positive Cas differential
7) Win a player award
8 ) Have the big two survive the season unscathed (Clark, Lorax)
9) Score >10 TDs in the season
10) Get a Stat increase on a player

posted 25 Mar 2016


SWL Defilers Conference LXIV

Game 1: DustBunny's Nurgle "Madness Mountain Misery" Image

Nurgle. I was tempted to take a wandering Apo and Boomer, but then I was reminded that Boomer and Disturbing Presence is not a good mix, so I went with the usual wizard.

DustBunny's team is not typical Nurgle. No claw, no piling on, only 2 mighty blow. But with a record of 20/4/4 he must be doing something right. Three blodge pestigors (one with Ag4) might have something to do with it. Last time we met I lost 2-1, and I was expecting similar today. This is "Rock" - I've never beaten Rock.

It snowed all game, maybe good sign for Norse?

Drive 1
Nurgle receives. Rather than hold off until it's too late I reached for the Wizard pretty early. The wizard I hire is one that tussock recommended a while ago, and he rarely disappoints. Fireball on the 5 player cage. Nurgle warrior and Beast knocked down, ball carrier Pestigor stunned, and most importantly Stonetroll the tackle pestigor KOed. Lorax eventually secured the ball and ran scoring on turn 4.

Drive 2
All 3 KOed linemen decide not to take the field and I'm at a small numbers disadvantage. Despite this, Nurgle fists freeze up and rarely do more than pushes. This forces the ball carrying pestigor to make a break up the sideline, but sidelines are not your friend against Frenzy, so a GFI infield. Tripped. KOed

Next comes my favorite turn of the game. Turn 8:
Lorax has the ball 20 paces from the End Zone, let's try to socre!
i) Clark blocks a wrestle fend zombie, didn't ROAR! - [PUSH]
ii) Runner blocks pestigor - [PUSH][POW]
iii) Berserker blitzes the wrestle fend zombie, GFI 3+ [5], [BOTH DOWN]
iv) Lorax moves to short pass range, GFI 3+ [5]

Now the fun really begins. Pass, with one Nurgle Warrior in range this short pass needs a 5+ [6] Cool

The receiver is an Ulf. Catch roll 4+ [6]

All that's required now is a simple canter to the line. Surely Nuffle wouldn't deny me this now? Only one GFI required, 3+ [1]. Never mind, I still have a reroll. GFI 3+............

Drive 3
The numbers are really beginning to tell now. But Lorax is on fire and Stonetroll is still KOed. Lorax blitzes and breaks tackle to freedom. No tacklers to take down this blodger, another score. 2-0

Drive 4
Nuffle continues to be a blight on Nurgle. No consolation TD. The game finishes 2-0. Cas count 1-4

After 15 attempts the Freezy Trees have finally beaten a Rock team Very Happy

posted 26 Mar 2016


SWL Defilers Conference LXIV

Game 2: buuface's Norse "Banner of the Black Stag" Image

'at some point buuface is going to have to make more than a one-man team' - Wex (posted on Gruminr's bio)

With my Norse team slowly being chipped away of all its medium to long term players, I'm in danger myself of becoming a one man (or in my case Ulf) team too. So it looked to be a battle between Legend Grumnir and Superstar Lorax, how do the two stack up?

Grumnir, Norse Runner
M8 St4 Ag3 Av7
Block, Dauntless, Dodge, Sure Hands, Side Step, Fend

Lorax, Ulfwerener
M6 St4 Ag3 Av8
Frenzy, Block, Break Tackle, Dodge, Sure Hands

But no, there was a supporting cast on both teams and dealing to his St5 Ulf, and his nothing special skillwise but dangerous (10 Cas in 15 Games!) Snow Troll was a priority.

Drive 1: Stags receive. Clark killed the St5 Ulf on his first turn (Apoed to MNG). But Grumnir had the ball and with so little tackle on my team was always going to be difficult to stop. Boomer bomb took out my only tackler. First points Grumnir.
Drive 2: Trees receive. Blitz, scoring in 3 turns was made harder by this and I failed. Clark did kill a Blitzer though, yay Clark!
Drive 3: Trees receive. Now it was Lorax's turn to strut his stuff. Scored Turn 7 2nd half.
Drive 4: Stags receive. This is where the extra movement of Grumnir could stand tall over Lorax and laugh at him from a great height. Didn't happen though. He certainly came closer in his 2 turn attempt than I did in my 3.

1-1 draw
A very close and enjoyable game between two teams with a lot of holes in their rosters. I need tackle, I need guard, I want mighty blow.

posted 4 Apr 2016


SWL Defilers Conference LXIV

Game 3: ab08mi's High Elf "[SWL] Jeagers" Image

And what better way to celebrate the Trees' 50th than a game against High Elves. This race has a nasty habit of killing my favorite players. Thing One and Pop both sent to the next world by High Elf boots. Despite having never won a Premiership (one of only 4 non stunty races yet to do it), High Elves have been successful at getting into the top table. During my time in SWL three of the "HEROES" teams have frolicked in Prem (only one Norse team has), and the Jeagers are fresh from a stint there.

Drive 1: I receive. Lorax fumbles the pick-up and in come the elves. Thankfully after clearing a good path, their designated ball retriever fails a dodge and Lorax gets another chance. The Ulf rumbles up the sideline, but with our favourite Yeti on the floor and facing a barrage of boots (all he did was maim a thrower! leave him alone!), Lorax felt compelled not to stall and the elves get a few turns before halftime.
Drive 2: Elves receive. Elves run, pass and score (but not before Thrower number 2 is placed in Casualty - why don't we get credited for crowd surf Cas?)
Halftime 1-1
Drive 3: Elves receive. Elves run, pass and score
Drive 4: Despite the Cas count being heavily against the Norse, the beauty of reserves mean the numbers are on my side. Lorax collects the ball and rumbles up the sideline again. Suddenly, Yertle, team captain finds himself dead, another scalp for the High Elves... would the Apo step in? No, it seems his powers are reserved for the two stars and them alone.
So continuing his rumble up the sideline, it seems this might be destined for a 2-2 draw. But it wouldn't be a game against elves without a dash of BS thrown in. Dauntless Tackle Catcher vs Super Star blodging Ulf:
[POW] Surprised
Time running out. Lorax surfs the cheeky elf, but then his Sure Hands let him down again!
Eventually the pick up sticks and the score.

2-2. A very enjoyable game. So 5 games under my belt against High Elf teams who have been good enough to visit Prem, and I've never lost to any of them. Razz ..I can't say that about many races

Three games in a row in Conf without a loss!
5 TDs, all to Lorax
4 Cas, all to Clark

I wouldn't mind having some 2nd tier players to help these two, but they just keep dying! 14 man roster. Two players nudging 50 games. Two just past 30. All the rest <16 games.

posted 11 Apr 2016


SWL Defilers Conference LXIV

Game 4: m0gw41's Vampire "New World Winers and Diners" Image

Remember this?: "4) Rebuild the team so it has at least: 2xTackle, 2xGuard, 2x Mighty Blow". I went into Game 3 with 2xTackle, 1xGuard and 1x Mighty Blow. But with the sad loss of Yertle I seem to be going backwards, entering Game 4 with 1x Tackle and 1x Mighty Blow.

Vampire! Can be awful, can be glorious. I dropped a RR so I wouldn't have to face a wizard (now 3xRR + Leader), and saw Helmut line up on the field instead Surprised

Drive 1: Norse receive. How best to stop Lorax from sure handedly picking up the ball and driving up for the score? Kick it to someone else. New captain Old Fish caught it and being a perfectly capable blodger decided to score quickly and get Helmut sent off. However, cages are not so secure against Vampire.


All the opposition Vampires were blodgers. My only Tackler had a decent go but was unable to bring the ball carrier down. First score to the Vamps. 0-1

Drive 2: Norse receive. Three turns to score. Get close but lacked a corner on the cage.

Halftime 0-1. I was told by a content Vampire coach that there were 20 bloodlust rolls in the first half. Two failures, both successfully rerolled. Bastards!

Drive 3: Vampires receive. Thralls were dropping like flies, and it wasn't their bosses doing the damage. A M7 vampire made a break, but not quite fast enough to escape Lorax. 2 GFI Frenzy had the ball carrier hemmed against the sideline, with his support a bit screened off. Time for the Vampires to get hungry, and their coach to have a mega brain fade. One Vamp scurries off the field in search of a snack, the ball carrier joins him next turn as Lorax bumps him into the crowd.

Full time 1-1. Lorax gets his 6th TD of the season.

Smashed them on CAS 2/3/0 - 0/0/0

Still unbeaten in Conf. Confidence building. Get ready for a fall Very Happy

posted 14 Apr 2016


SWL Defilers Conference LXIV

Game 5: JPM's Necromantic "Necromanteía" Image

JPM was missing a Golem for this game, which gave him the inducement cash to hire a wizard. Wizards make me nervous.

Av8+ (mostly) vs Av7 Block spam. Who would win?

First drive Lorax collects the ball (of course). I'm beginning to think that I'm relying a bit too much on my superstar. Should spread the SPP love around a bit. However, winning comes first, and there's no doubt Lorax is a game winner... or at least a game drawer looking at my most recent efforts.
So the Ulf rumbles up the field, ever wary of the wizard in JPM's back pocket. Scores turn 7

No two turn TD attempt by JPM. He's one that does share the SPP love. Golem failed the pass attempt that would have given him a skill

Second half. Time for Lorax to shine on defence. BT dodge, GFI hit on the unsuspecting ghoul ball carrier. [POW][POW] But not completely safe from the equaliser. Werewolves can be tricky buggers.
Lykaios the Younger spots his wolf partner in crime standing in the End Zone. And sets off for the score. Dodge [5], Pick up [4], GFI [6], GFI [5].... all the hard work by Lykais done. Could Apollo Lyceus make the simple catch to score. Handover, Catch [2] Razz

1-0 win for the Freezy Trees. Cas 4-0, puts me back in the black for career Cas and one of the season goals temporarily ticked off.

Sitting on top of the table (admittedly with an extra game under my belt). All that stands between me, Conference glory and promotion to the Prem big time are two Bash teams Surprised

posted 23 Apr 2016


SWL Defilers Conference LXIV

Game 6: DrDiscoStu's Orc "Wäŋa Warriors" Image

Ubirr III, Orc Blitzer
M6 St4 Ag4 Av9
Block, Dodge, Sure Hands, Stand Firm
"He is your team" - Semitence

Complete nonsense of course. This is a solid team all around. Including a second Ag4 blitzer (down from 3 of the things earlier in the season), plenty of Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Tackle, Diving Tackle... However, there's no denying that Ubirr III is a monster, and I'd need some fireworks to get the ball off him.

Did I mention that this was the most important game to date of my SWL career? Sitting in second, facing the top team, if I could win then I'd be in the box seat to take the conference title and promotion to Prem. Shocked "The Champ", won Prem in Season 62 first Orc team ever to win the thing. Then parked his team, and returned in Conference. So by his reckoning, nobody has taken the prem title from him yet Laughing

This game was insane. So much to write about, so many snapshots I want to take... too many so I won't.

First Half - I kick, damn!
Norse Sack #1 - Ubirr III has the ball (of course), in a tight cage at the half way line. Time for some fireworks. Fireball. Four out of five orcs prone - including the Star. Ball bounces over 3 bodies, not quite into the clear. In comes my captain, Old Fish, scoops up the ball in a tackle zone (RR required). The smart thing to do would be NOT to try to hand off, pass to Lorax, and have him charge deep into Orc land to freedom and glory. I didn't do the smart thing. Failed handoff.
Norse Sack #2 - Clark has an easy 2D hit on the new ball carrier. [PUSH][PUSH], that won't do, the second hit takes him to 1D territory, Reroll [PUSH][BOTH DOWN], frenzy [SKULL] - bugger

..a brief moment of sadness. Clark is dead.... apo....... back to the reserves with you, you big wonderful cuddly ball of wool

Norse Sack #3 - OK now into desperation territory. Old Fish's chance to redeem his poor decision making and be the hero. Dodge 4+ [4], Dodge 4+ [6], Dodge 3+ [5], hit on the Ag4 stand firm blitzer one step from my end zone... hoping for strip ball... getting a [POW/PUSH] Very Happy And the crowd loves it! Hurls the ball 11 squares towards the halfway line.
Norse Sack #4 - Go Boomer! More fireworks needed. In a tackle zone he chucks it 2 yards adjacent to Ubirr III the ball carrier (of course). Intercept failed, pass [6], BOOM! Ubirr III stunned on the turf.

No Norse Sack number 5, Orcs collect the ball, form a tight cage near the line. All that's left to do is dodge Lorax away in an attempt to form a pitiful 3 man screen. Dodge 2+ [1], dodge reroll 2+ [1], Badly Hurt - gone Surprised He is your team is a phrase that genuinely can be applied to Lorax - I'm f**cked. Orc turn 8, time for them to score 1-0

Second Half - I receive
DDS was surprised that I'd apo Clark, a double negged Snow Troll. Let's show him what Clark can do... well not much actually, no Cas, few KO, but lots of stuns and an ever present threat of Claw and Mighty Blow

After tentatively entering the Orc half on turn 4, Old Fish finds himself on Turn 6 near the sideline, ball in hand adjacent to Ubirr III. S4 Stand firm Blodger, no tackle on my team after he was sent off knocking out a troll. Only option seems to flee. But before that let's try a couple of 2D hits with my Berserker... oh... it's only 1D. The smart thing to do would be stop now, NOT roll the dice. Little Cat B does the smart thing. Old Fish runs, time for.....

Orc Sack #1 A few dice rolls required before the hit but nothing major, Wäŋa Warriors have plenty of tackle to call upon [PUSH][POW/PUSH], down goes Old Fish and the ball scatter into the blitzer's hands.
Norse Sack #5 Up gets Old Fish, 1D blitz, [SKULL], RR, [POW/PUSH], ball scatter next to a Black Orc, Dodge 3+ [4], pickup 4+ [4], dodge 3+ [5]
Orc Sack #2 After a bit of pushing and shoving (and a RR burnt), the path is clear for a Black Orc with Tackle (of course) to blitz, GFI 2+ [5], GFI 2+ [1] YESSSS!!!!!!

Old Fish is the hero 1-1 draw. Amazing game.

Prem is still in reach. I need these Orcs to stumble again (preferably a loss), and I need to beat a Khemri team that pitch cleared me last time we met.

posted 7 May 2016


SWL Defilers Conference LXIV

Game 7: Luohghcra's Khemri "Sphinxes from Mars" Image

Another huge encounter. I neeeeeed this one to get to Prem. Who cares what my team looks like when I get there. 100k inducements - apo for survival? NO! Babes? NO! Dirty Tricks? NO!... I don't need a treasury in Prem. What I need, is to get there. 150k treasury spent on a wizard Cool

(expect a fizzer)

So the Sphinxes. Pitch cleared the Trees the first time I met them. Denied Morgwegian (my filler team) a Regional Trophy. How would they screw me over this time?

First Drive. Lorax receives. Dances about a bit then pushes through. Gets pinned, does his usual Blitz/BT dodge free. TD. YES!!!!!
Second Drive - Turn 6. Debaser, a nasty Super Star Blitz-Ra attacks Lorax! Smashed ankle (-MA!) Surprised , Apo, Dead Surprised Surprised NO!!!!!!
Khemri brutally march forward, removing Norse players as they go. Turn 8, time for the other Ulf to step up. All Gox needs to do to get a pair of 2D hits on the ball carrier is a 4+ dodge (with RR)..... NO!!!!!!
End of turn Wizard. You better be worth the investment. Lightning Bolt.... YES!!!!!
But, the Sphinxes can score. All they need to do is clear a Norse lineman off the ball. And 4+ pickup (with RR).... YES!!!!!

Halftime 1-0 to the good guys. But the good guys are scared and don't want to leave the KO bin. This could be a problem. 11 vs 8

Khemri continues to smash me up. The bulk of the team staying around the LOS causing me grief. Meanwhile a small squad of bony ones head up the sideline to try for a quick score (they need the win too). Gox smashes the screen on the way to throwing a TZ on the Cathay Girl the Thro-Ra ball carrier. And New Fish the runner joins him. After their failed attempt to get New Fish we're left with the Runner adjacent to Cathay Girl. 1D block pushes Cathay near the sideline. All Gox needs do to to get a pair of 2D hits on her is a 4+ dodge (with RR).... surfs up...... YES!!!!!

Khemri still in a hurry. Skelly elf-ball (RR)....
Blitz-Ra Pickup 5+ [6], Dodge 4+ [6], Handoff Catch 4+ [3], Reroll 4+ [5]... TD NO!!!!!!
...ok not exactly elf ball, no passing, but they are Ag2. bastards

Again the good guys are terrified, and stay huddling in the KO box. 11 vs 6. They have 3 turns to score. But... I have 4 turns to score. Mwaahaaahaaa.... yes I'm going to hide in a corner. Quick Snap! YES!!!!!... RUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!



Second place. Unbeaten. A pretty successful season. How did I do on the goals? Last 2 seasons I've secured a measly 3/10 of them. So with a lowered bar, surely I must have aced them....

1) Finish in the top half of the table Success
2) Avoid relegation to the Reggies Success
3) Beat a Bash team (still never done it) Success Beat DustBunny first game, drew with Orcs and Khemri
4) Rebuild the team so it has at least: 2xTackle, 2xGuard, 2x Mighty Blow Failure 2xT, 0xG, 3xMB
5) Kill or force into retirement a Star (>51 spp) not including one of my own! Failure
6) Return to a positive Cas differential Failure.. but so close. from -4 at the start to even
7) Win a player award Failure Lorax 1TD short of the Silver Ball (most TD in a season)
8 ) Have the big two survive the season unscathed (Clark, Lorax) Failure Still alive, but Lorax gimped
9) Score >10 TDs in the season Failure 9
10) Get a Stat increase on a player Failure


...but! One of last season's goals which I dropped as being completely unrealistic is still alive. Promotion to Prem. All that is required is for a perennial Regional human team, sitting at the bottom of his pool in his first time in Conf, to beat or draw with a Necromantic ex-Prem winning monster. Easy Cool

Go the Hostile Kiddies!

posted 12 May 2016


SWL Defilers Conference LXIV

Prem hopes dashed. Kiddies capitulated and hid in the corner whilst only 1-0 down.

Finished the worst of the 2nd placers. One spot short of promotion. Next season, keep the unbeaten record but try to convert some of the many draws into wins. Smile

posted 15 May 2016

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 02, 2016 - 04:16
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Schola Conference LXV

Season #8 for the Freezy Trees. Last season I was one spot away from promotion to the big time (5 out 24 teams went up, I was 6th), can I go that extra inch this time? Who stands in my way?

The teams (in the order that I face them):
Image New World Winers and Diners (TV1510k)
Image Eau de Toilet (TV2190k)
Image Psych Lab (TV1710)
Image Port Macquarie Snowleopards (TV1850)
Image Prancing Unicorns (TV2160k)
Image Sphinxes from Mars (TV1780k)
Image High Elvis (TV1750)

3 Rock, 3 paper, 1 dynamite. A good mix. The Freezy Trees are currently TV1470k with Superstar Lorax MNG for the first round against vampires.

And the goals. 3/10 achieved in each of the past 3 seasons. Lowering the bar didn't help, so why not set lofty goals so that even getting only 3 of them will make me happy?

1) Promotion to Prem
2) Beat both the Sphinx (0-1-1) and High Elvis
3) Win a game with a margin of 3 or over.
4) Rebuild the team so it finishes the season with at least: 2xTackle, 2xGuard, 2x Mighty Blow
5) Kill or force into retirement a Star (>50 spp) not including one of my own!
6) Return to a positive Cas differential
7) Win a player award
8 ) Have the big two survive the season unscathed (Clark, Lorax)
9) Get two new emerging stars (spp >30)
10) Get a Stat increase on a player (54 games and only 2 stat increases. Come on Nuffle, show me some love)

posted 29 May 2016


Schola Conference LXV

Game 1: m0gw41's Vampire "New World Winers and Diners" Image

In another league, with another team, in a Grand Final, I once earned a FUMBBL badge.
Fail 12 Blood Lust rolls. I failed 17. So when facing a similar self-destruction of a vampire side I felt something. There's a word for it, what describes that feeling of deep understanding, empathy, horror, compassion... what's the word for the feeling I felt?..... AWESOME!

Yes at the end of the first half there was only 1 Vampire left on the pitch, no thralls. At the end of the 2nd half there was only 2 Vampires left on the pitch, no thralls. How could I not win in a situation like that?

Well, let me show you something a bit special. At turn 6 1st half. I have the ball, and 10 players. The Vamps have a lonely 2 Vamps. Two options, dash for the line and risk stuffing everything up on a failed GFI, or perhaps watch them score in 3 turns. Or seek the safety of fellow teammates and stall. What could possibly go wrong...?

Vampire #1
Blood Lust 2+ [1] Very Happy , Pro Roll 4+ [6], Blood Lust 2+ [5], Dodge 2+ [3], Dodge 4+ [6], Dodge 3+ [6], Blitz on blodger [PUSH][POW]

KO, ball scatters left

Vampire #2
Blood Lust 2+ [6], Dodge 2+ [3], Dodge 2+ [2], Pickup 4+ [6]


Dodge 2+ [6], GFI 2+ [1] Very Happy , RR GFI 2+ [4], Short Pass 3+ [2], Scatter....


Now that is AWESOME. Bastards.

Good guys scored in the end (turn 16). 1-0 Win

posted 8 Jun 2016


Schola Conference LXV

Game 2: Irgy's Nurgle "Eau de Toilet" Image

You can't win the bash game against Nurgle. Even when I nearly 1st half pitch cleared the Fun Police, or beat the much softer Misery, the Cas count in the end was against me.

Against Eau de Toilet the Cas count was against me from the start. First 4 blocks of the game resulted in 3 Norse leaving the field.

Clark died! Clark, died! Shocked I think that's the 3rd or 4th time he has left this world... there will be a 4th or 5th. Thank you Apo. Two team mates were no so lucky, one of the two now bats for the other team.

This week saw the introduction of a dice tracking ap in Fumbbl. This gives the opportunity for coaches to pour over the stats and have evidence to back up the right royal bollocking they give their players. 66.66% of the Trees armour rolls were <7. Useless buggers. Soft.

But again, you can't win the bash game against Nurgle, losing it that badly (-6 Cas diff) makes it pretty hard to win any other sort of game against Nurgle. Irgy was ruthlessly efficient at capitalizing on this advantage. 0-2 loss.

But! The 2 deaths were only rookie linemen. The permanent was against an already injured reroll on legs. Can't be two unhappy with that. Cool

posted 15 Jun 2016


Schola Conference LXV

Game 3: eganra's Skaven "Psych Lab" Image

eganra's rats have been around for a long time. 168 games in fact. They'd have been around for longer, but there was a reset going from LRB4 to CRP. Before this changeover, eganra ran another rat team in SWL, for 202 games. Shocked

Skaven teams get beaten up - they are paper. Well this skaven team was not beaten up, and gave me a whopping 560k in inducements. I thought fast and stabby stars would be more fun that a wizard. Image Image

First drive went pretty well. KOed the ROgre who never retruned, Lorax marched up the field, a tad slower than seasons past, and at the start of Turn 7 all I needed to do to advance the cage was to Break Tackle him free (with reroll) and then move forward the back of the cage to be in a Prime position to score in Turn 8 Very Happy


Nuffle had other ideas
Dodge 2+ [1]
TEAM REROLL Dodge 2+ [1]
and then Nuffle decided to rub it in and really show his power of the dice
Aromor Roll [1][1]
ScatterRoll [1] North


And then.... Rats happened


This is where the whinging could start. But look at that top frame. There was so much I could have done to mitigate things. I didn't, I stuffed up. So instead of "Woe is me, why do you curse me so, Nuffle", it's a meek retreat into my own incompetence, and a realisation there is much further to travel. Much to learn, hopefully some of these harsh lessons would stick. Still enjoying the journey. Very Happy

More stuff happened. Rats scored (again). Lorax lost the ball again. Old Fish recovered it (pretty well I thought). Old Fish scored.

1 - 2 loss. 2 up on Cas.

posted 22 Jun 2016


Schola Conference LXV

Game 4: pyates16's Wood Elf "Port Macquarie Snowleopards" Image

Elves are good at toting up SPP, but they're also reasonably good at dying. SWL has seen hundreds of elves in its long and illustrious history. You'd expect most of the agility records would be held by dead elves. But no, the Snowleopards have two quite special players, and they're still breathing:

Image Hoover widowmaker has the alltime passing record (788 yards), the season completion record (22), and the season passing yard record (173 yards). He also has a host of season awards
Image Bolwgan Softrock is everybody's favorite Strength 1 Legend. He currently sits second in the per game leaderboard for SPP (4.24/game) and TD (1.21/game). He's also a 1TTD specialist.

Shutting down these two seemed a priority. Another high TV paper team, I bring Zara (no wizard again)

First drive I receive, and Hoover is open for a GFI blitz. In charges Gox and knocks him down, no armour break though - not good enough. In comes a lineman with the Foul, gouged eye, MNG. Take that, elf passing game! Twisted Evil
In retaliation the elves knock down ulf Gox, and Foul him. Dead! Surprised Normally I'd resist medical treatment so early in the game, I have more special players than Gox for the Apo. But no, these are elves, must be a fluke, they can't hurt me anymore.
Let's race ahead and see the end game stats. Norse got no SPP from Cas, the two elves that left the field were from the boot and a stabby Zara. In contrast the Wood Elvs got 5 Cas. Beaten up by Elves, outfouled by elves. This can't have gone well.
Back to the first drive. Lorax rumbles up the field. Elves get outnumbered slightly, but they seem to be able to place anyone anywhere, and by the end of the drive Lorax is tied up and feels the need to make a break. This didn't go well last game, how would he do today?: Dodge 3+ [6], dodge 3+ [6], GFI [4], GFI [4]. No reroll or even BT required. TD! 1-0

Second Drive. Out comes the sun. Take that, elf passing game! Twisted Evil But who needs a passing game when I can kick the ball out? And who needs two turns to score when you can do it in one? 1-1

Half Time.

Fourth Drive. Elves receive. Stack the line for their 1TTD manouvre leaving one guy back to receive. One guy back fails the pickup. Forward charge the norse. Elves swarm one of the three charging Norse - Lorax. Shocked Knock him down Shocked Foul him Shocked
This is where I wish I still had an Apo up my sleeve. CAS Surprised Only badly hurt Cool

One guy back retrieves the ball and retreats from the oncoming Norse. But not far enough. In roars Gox, GFI, GFI, [POW/PUSH][POW]
Elves outnumber Norse in elf territory by 7-2. Even with a wayward pass from an elf catcher surely there's no way I'll score from here
Gox blocks the S4 Blodger, [POW/PUSH], frenzy [POW/PUSH]. Clear of the ball
New Fish, Dodge 4+ [4], dodge 3+ [1], Team REROLL [5], pickup 3+ [6]. TD 2-1

Fifth Drive. Time for Nuffle to step in. What a complete Bastard! Watch the elves selfdestruct:
Elf Turn 4: First Block [SKULL][SKULLL] reroll burnt to save the situation. Pickup OK, GFI #1 OK, GFI #2. Nah! [1] Ball dropped
Elf Turn 5: Pickup [1] reroll burnt to save the situation. None left. GFI #1 [1] Ball dropped
Elf Turn 6: First action, Dodge roll [1]
Elf turn 7: First action GFI [1]
Norse TD 3-1

posted 25 Jun 2016


Schola Conference LXV

Game 5: Keothi's Orc "Prancing Unicorns" Image

Luke Skywalker MA7ST5AG4 Blitzer. I met him 15 games ago, and managed to scramble a 1-1 draw. He's still alive and still a difficult bugger to stop.

Norse and Orcs, not really noted as teams you'll see a lot of passing with. My own team has never had a player with more than 2 completions to his name. Well, would you believe there were 8 passes in this game? And that's not including the 3 bombs that Boomer hurled.

First drive, Orc pressure saw Lorax hand off to New Fish who ran for the line. GFI#1, stumble (Reroll), GFI#2 stumble. Ball dropped. In comes Luke who along with a friend stands next to the ball and the prone New Fish. Wizard zaps Luke off the field (KO), all New Fish needs to do is blitz the friend away and pick up the ball. I joke with the crowd to be nice to me if he fumbles...

which he duly does, and again with the reroll.
PASS #1: Crowd hiffs the ball directly away from the end zone, back towards the Orcs. It bounces over the sideline
PASS #2: Crowd chucks the ball back towards the Orc End Zone, and into the crowd (completion!)
PASS #3: Crowd throws it next to the Norse lino.
A bit of biffo ensues, but New Fish recovers it and scores.

But all the KOed Orcs come back and have a good 3 turns to score before halftime. Look at Luke after his turn 7.
Thanks to the diving tackle goblin falling flat on his face Lorax has a shot at Luke with an assist. [PUSH], frenzy [POW/PUSH], ball bounces into the crowd
PASS #4: Long Bomb to centre field. Black Orc catches it! Turn 8. Hand off to the thrower, blitzer in the End Zone. Thrower runs...
PASS #5:... inaccurate, pass reroll.......into the crowd!
PASS #6 Back into the field of play. Half Time (1-0 to the good guys)

The second drive was a tussle and a half. Boomer manages to set the ball free for Lorax to snaffle. But the green tide was an immense thing to try and stop. A S4 Wrackler gets it off Lorax. Luke scores. 1-1

So two turns to score. Old Fish picks it up. And....
PASS #7 throws it to New fish, who charges downfield through a gap that Lorax made. A bit of a screen. Things look very very good.


until PASS #8 Troll biffs the goblin. Diving Tackler on the ball carrier. Followed by a blitz through the screen and New Fish finds himself with 3 friends. A DT goblin, and a Tackler amongst them.

1D on goblin, [PUSH], sidestep. Need to dodge. Fail (with DT), RR, Fail. Sad

Prem looks unlikely. In fact all 10 of my season goals look likely to fail.

But I have a record! There have been over two million games of FUMBBL played. Lots of Ulfwereners have taken the pitch, in [L]eague, [R]anked and [B|ox. None of them have ever rushed with ball in hand as far as Lorax has. 610 rushing yards Very Happy

posted 7 Jul 2016


Schola Conference LXV

Game 6: Luohghcra's Khemri "Sphinxes from Mars" Image

The Sphinxes again. First time they pitch cleared me, 2nd time a tense draw. This time they came at me looking a bit underdone. The skaven team got 3 Cas against Tomb Guardians in the previous match. Badly Hurt, MNG (rookie) and Dead (Superstar) Surprised Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

Despite this I still got inducements. Wizard, 2 babes and Boomer.

First turn of the match I remove 3 players from the field! Scissors never win the bash game against Rock.... but when they do... Very Happy

1-0: Lorax strolled through for a the first TD
2-0: Blitz! Sphinxes recovered. Wizard fireball took out two pieces of the cage. Old Fish came through for the stripball [POW]. RUuuuun! Score!
2-1: Delaying them was the order of the day. I could have (should have?) run and hid in the corner, but no I had to engage. Old Fish is MNG for the next, and very important encounter

Final score 2-1. Cas 5-2

Extremely close at the top of the table. I need to win the next round against mushooomy (with no Old Fish stripballer). Clark is back from his missed game though. Oh yes, one season goal achieved: 2xTackle (3!), 2xMB (3!), 2xGuard (2).

Never lost to High Elves before Cool there's a first time for everything Confused

posted 14 Jul 2016


Schola Conference LXV

Game 7: mushoomy's High Elf "High Elvis" Image

Another big one. Not only was this for a potential conference title and a spot in Prem, it was also the first time I'd faced mushoomy in SWL. This is for pride.

Simple game plan. Scissors v Paper. Chop up the paper. Twisted Evil

59 blocks on the elves! Very Happy , only 11/46 armour rolls >7 Sad Zero Cas from blocks Crying or Very sad

Plan B was also a simple one. No guard or tackle on the elves. Strength 4 blodge ball carrier. Go Lorax!

2-1 Grind

SWL is now home to the highest scoring Ulfwerener in FUMBBL history. Lorax got a brace against High Elvis, meaning he passes a S5 Ulf from the Whiskey [L]eague, and an Ag4 Ulf in [R]anked.

So sitting (temporarily?) on the top of the table. To get to Prem I need a Nurgle team to not lose to a high TV skaven team. And Orcs to not lose to Vampires

Step 1: Nurgle win! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

Step 2: Saturday afternoon.

posted 22 Jul 2016


Schola Conference LXV


my precious
Very Happy

posted 27 Jul 2016


Schola Conference LXV

Thanks. That was a crazy last round. Going into round 7 any one of 5 of the 8 teams in Schola were in a position to take the title. It was that close.

Onwards up to Prem, surely I aced my season goals this time...

1) Promotion to Prem SUCCESS!!!
2) Beat both the Sphinx (0-1-1) and High Elvis SUCCESS!!!
3) Win a game with a margin of 3 or over. FAIL 3-1 was my best result
4) Rebuild the team so it finishes the season with at least: 2xTackle, 2xGuard, 2x Mighty Blow SUCCESS!!!
5) Kill or force into retirement a Star (>50 spp) not including one of my own! FAIL
6) Return to a positive Cas differential FAIL went from even to -5
7) Win a player award FAIL
8 ) Have the big two survive the season unscathed (Clark, Lorax) SUCCESS!!!
9) Get two new emerging stars (spp >30) FAIL only my other Ulf
10) Get a Stat increase on a player (54 games and only 2 stat increases. Come on Nuffle, show me some love) FAIL

4/10, improving Cool

posted 29 Jul 2016

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 02, 2016 - 04:19
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SWL Bob Borc Cup

Round 1: JamesFynmore's Dark Elf "Dallas Drowboys" Image


The Bob Borc Cup. A mid-year Knock Out competition. A new initiative to shake things up a bit, as well as to run a shortened season so that squeezing 5 seasons (inc Borc) into a calendar year is a bit easier.

Heaps of byes in the first round (not 64 teams), but not me. I get these Dark Elves again. They had a decent season in Prem a little while ago (got promoted by smashing me 2-0), and then parked for a bit. But they're in bloody good shape TV2070, with two total gits of blitzers: DT SS Blodge Tackle, appropriately labelled on my screen as "cock1" and "cock2"

I brought a wizard, and with the last 60k inducement, Boomer took me up to a healthy 15 players. The plan was not the bomb, but to punch and foul them into oblivion.

Things didn't quite work to plan:

That's how it looked at half time. Both runners and my MB Ulf off. Despondent much?

Actually no. Despite being down 0-1 at the end to the half this was still one of the most enjoyable games I've had on Fumbbl. Plenty of friendly chatter. True, Nuffle decided that Av7 was tissue paper that day, but then Nuffle can change things up a bit.

Second half. I joked that with a lot of my stars off Badly Hurt, at least I wouldn't have too many tough choices on Apoing decisions.
Immediately Nuffle decided that that assassin stab would end in death. No apo. Byebye rookie.

JamesF joked that his armour was holding pretty well compared to mine.
Immediately Nuffle decided that those Claws of Clark would end in death. Byebye veteran Blitzer.

And then despite starting the half with fewer players the numbers swung my way. The Freezy Trees looked headed for a SWL all time record, 68 games without an intercept was the milestone (I was on 62). This goal was tragically taken away from me when a lineman took an intercept Cool
Run, GFI, hand off to blitzer, Run, GFI.....out of range of nearly everyone Very Happy
Nearly Sad The Drowboys had a M8 Witch Elf 10 squares away. So close to overtime, yet so far.

Fantastic game. 0-1. Now a long wait until this KO competition finishes.

posted 11 Aug 2016

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 02, 2016 - 04:25
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SWL Premier League LXVI

Prem! The big time. Predictions are coming in thick and fast, and without exception they're all pointing to me taking the spoon.

We'll see about that! Who am I up against? :

Image Daemon Ex Tesserae (TW1970)
Image Autumn's leaves (TW1870)
Image Slumbering Skink (TW2220)
Image SWL Fun Police (TW2480)
Image Wäŋa Warriors (TW2140)
Image Altered Perception (TW2000)
Image Griffon Gate Sentinels (TW1880)

I've been around long enough to play most of these teams before - the exceptions being the Skink who seem to reside in the clouds of Prem on a permanent basis, and the dark elves who have only played 2 seasons in SWL. How does my record against the other 5 stack up?

2/2/4 - OK not too flash (thanks to the High Elves for the 2 wins)

Season goals:

1) Win PREM!
2) Beat Slumbering Skink
3) Score at least 10 Cas across the 4 elf teams
4) Avoid the spoon
5) Kill or force into retirement a Star (>50 spp) not including one of my own!
6) Win a shiny golden player award
7) Have the big two survive the season unscathed (Clark, Lorax)
8 ) Earn >15spp for Lorax on his road to Legend
9) Keep my unbeaten record against High Elves
10) Get a Stat increase on a player (62 games and only 2 stat increases. Come on Nuffle, show me some love)

Joined: Oct 12, 2013

Post   Posted: Oct 02, 2016 - 04:27
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SWL Premier League LXVI

Game 1: Bobs' Elf "Daemon Ex Tesserae" Image

I believe it's been 42 seasons since the last kiwi coach was in Prem (Platypus in April 2008)***.

I last played these elves straight after my relegation to the Reggies in Season 62. It did not go well.

One of the preseason tipsters picked Bobs to go all the way this season (and as with all tipsters picked me for the spoon). The kiss of death? Perhaps.

150k of inducements. I consulted the great oracle Bob Borc. When given the choice of "Wizard" or "PlethoraOfFouls", Borc chose the Fouls. I went shopping, bought 2 linemen and induced a Babe. Twisted Evil

The Plethora of Fouls didn't go so well. First three resulted in send offs. It was nice having the bench though.

First drive. Lorax rumbled up the field. Elves put the pressure on forcing me to do a risky attempt at scoring in turn 7. Bunch of pushing (including a miscalculated 2D uphill blitz), dodging Ulf, hand off to New Fish, bunch of dodging, Score!

Second drive. Two turns to score. Elves. Failed GFI in the End Zone. Fail!

Third drive. Why fail to score in two turns when you can do it one? Elves. Bloody show offs. Score.

Fourth drive. 8 turns to score. Lorax rumbled it up. Elves put the pressure on forcing me to do a risky attempt at scoring in turn 16. Blitz the tackler off, dodging Ulf, hand off to New Fish, Score!

Gox the other Ulf was a star. 4 Cas in his 9 blocks. Add this to the single foul Cas and that's halfway to the elf bashing season goal Very Happy

2-1 victory to the Prem virgins.

***Correction: Espionage and his Brethren of the Horned Rat played in Prem XLI - the first of the CRP era (2011)

Last edited by ramchop on Apr 16, 2017 - 22:52; edited 1 time in total
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