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The game of the week is for you the viewer to pick! Who will win
 45%  [ 9 ]
Wife beaters
 55%  [ 11 ]
Total Votes : 20


Joined: Apr 13, 2019

Post   Posted: Jun 09, 2019 - 21:59 Reply with quote Back to top

JIM: Welcome to the Cabal Broadcasting Station and the CBFL! I am your Host Jim Green here with former Orcland Raiders legend Owie Long. It is going to be an exciting week one in the CBFL today and Owie and I are here for analysis.

OWIE: Thats right Jim. Week one is officially underway and we have already seen a battle between the Rapscallions in the East and the Witchriders in the West, and a beatdown in U sports handed to the Deathballs from the Chorus Gals Dominant roster. Lets discuss that game first.

JIM: Well Owie this really was a mismatch of a game despite some less than favorable luck from the Deathballs.
including an unusually high distribution of the number of 1's rolled by the Deathballs.

OWIE: That's right Jim. Each team had one player Die on the pitch. A squig kicked the bucket for the Deathballs while a Lineman took their last breath for the Chorus Gals. Both were rookie players and no one will even remember them next week.

JIM: I have forgotten them already just like you already forgot the point we were trying to make about the mismatch between these two teams... The Chorus Gals Tilia team has acess to more positional players than any other squad across all rosters in Blood Bowl 7s. More importantly they have access to skills from all schools of play except mutations taking their potential to an almost scary level. Meanwhile the combination of stunty and blood lust for the Deathballs showed its true potential for self devastation in this game.

OWIE: Well the Rapscallions pulled off a win here despite some interesting block dice results. Witch riders being successful on 15 of their 27 blocks including both -2d blocks they threw while the Rapscallions successful blocks were more on the side of normal with 16 of 36 blocks successful.

JIM: Owie, we were talking about the game in U-Sports here your off topic again!

OWIE: A true clinic in caging and screening between these two teams they made the most out of the limited number of players that they had on the field. This game was truly something to watch. In the end the casualties suffered of a dead priestess and injured star player were just too much for the Witchriders to overcome.

JIM: O.K. then on to our perdicitons report of games to come later in the week. Owie who you got?

OWIE: Sure Jim. I like the BC to overcome a slight disadvantage in speed by relying in slightly higher armour and mighty blow to remove the Clawyouits off the pitch and win the game with supirior numbers.

The matchup between the Mary Sues and the Ulfwerners is going to be very intersting as both teams have multiple freak players and should employ a similar style of play, that is to say these teams will be out to hurt one another and I am sure the other teams in the CBFL will be praying to Nuffle that they do! Still I think that this one is a toss up but I am going to say the Ulfwerners pull this one out because they have a few more Freaks and thick skulls.

Also employing similar styles of play will be the Fleece Seekers and the -Blue Bombers-, although the Fleece Seekers have the better team on paper I think the skill of Super Star coach Wolvezzz will be too much for the Seekers led by Emerging Star Waaghaflaga to overcome.

The game between the Crabs and Bluenosers pits the combo of strength and speed of the beastmen against the pitch removal specialist Undead Pirates. While Hypnotic Gaze and stab are a powerful combination The two Big men on the Crabs combined with the slow zombies will mean much of this team will be out of reach for the faster more reliable players on the Bluenosers

last in U-Sports I am picking the Duelers to dominate the Halfielders due to a superior roster choice. 3 hypnotic gaze players, high speed, and super fast Big Guy makes the Dulers my favorite to win the U-Sports division this year and make it to the playoffs taking the spot form the weakest team in the CBFL playoff picture.

JIM: Great analysis Owie though you have had like six serious concussions forcing you into retirement and making 70% of what you say inaudible nonsense so what do you know anyway... Finally I want to take a moment to talk about our game of the week and that is between the defending grey cup champs Ottawa [redacted] and the Calgary Wife Beaters.

Wile most of the matchups this week are between teams who will be playing a similar style of blood bowl nothing could be further from the case in this matchup. The [redacted]s have a 200k tv advantage which will give the Wife Beaters some inducements to play with. These inducements could be the difference between success and failure Wife Beaters. The [redacted]s will look to dance around the slower bashier Wife Beaters as the (sometimes) legendary coach MenonaLoco will look to frustrate the Star coach Antithiesisoftime. These are two heavyweight coaches with great teams going at it and I for one look forward to seeing the results.

That is all we have for you today from CBS studios this is Jim Green,

OWIE: and Owie Long

TOGETHER: [redacted]

Last edited by Waagh on Jun 11, 2019 - 23:34; edited 1 time in total

Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Jun 11, 2019 - 05:15 Reply with quote Back to top

Awesome! Great analisys. I'm missing the part where you forsee our ottawan victory, of course, but otherwise, very nice! Smile

Joined: Apr 13, 2019

Post   Posted: Jun 17, 2019 - 00:52 Reply with quote Back to top

JIM: What an exciting week one in the CBFL Owie! With all but one of the week one games played it is time to post our preview of week 2!

Owie: That's right Jim. Last week we saw teams looking to employ similar styles of play while this week will highlight the argument around the league of bash vs. dash.

Jim: For those of you not fallowing along on discord, coaches around the league are split on how to amend the rules to make bash teams more playable within the 7s format. Some are saying putting more players on the line of scrimage is the answer while others are saying that removing rerolls will solve the problem, what do you think Owie?

OWIE: Well I think that the game of the week this week is the Baltimore Rapscallions vs. the Winnipeg -Blue Bombers- coaches Wolvezz and Arcayn have played eachother on many occasions in several different formats which will make this one a real barn burner. All our viewers should go to the polls and vote for their favorite to win this matchup.

JIM: Owie... I was asking about the rules controversy.

OWIE: We have breaking news Jim. This just in we have received confirmation that the CBFL has won it's lawsuit against the FCC (Fumbbl Canadians for Censorship) and potty humor is back in! Which is why I am picking the Red Farts to win their game against the stat freak Mary Sues.

I Like the Clawyouits to use their speed and agility to circumvent the slower Wife Beaters and likely cause some casualties of their own in the process.

The Ulwerners should top the BC if they can manage to focus on the ball instead of looking to bash the BCs. On paper they are faster and more agile and handing the ball to their stat freak Ulfwere should be enough to win them the game unless Nuffle has other plans.

Lastly I like the Fleece Seekers to leap over the Witchriders and stab them in the face. As for winning I think this will be a close game. Coach Roto has found a way to beat Waaghaflaga every game they have played up to this point so I like him to win this matchup too.

JIM: expert analysis of this week's CBFL games Owie. What do you expect to happen over in U-Sports?

OWIE: What's U-Sports?

JIM: U-Sports. The feeder division for the CBFL. The winner of that division will take a playoff spot from the highest seed in the CBFL playoffs.

OWIE: Fine, Duelers, Chorus Gals, Crabs.

JIM: Owie, I know U-Sports is less important than the rest of the CBFL but these guys worked hard all week to get ready for these games don't you think their effort deserves more comment than that?

OWIE: Stunty teams really have no place in proper Blood Bowl Jim.

JIM: Well I guess that is all we are going to get out of Owie, looks like he has fallen unconscious again. So for former Orcland Raider Standout Owie Long and myself Jim Green, stay chill Canada!

Last edited by Waagh on Jun 17, 2019 - 01:22; edited 1 time in total

Joined: Sep 10, 2015

Post   Posted: Jun 17, 2019 - 01:10 Reply with quote Back to top

I think Baltimore takes it over Winnipeg this week. The half elves have the potential to develop really nicely, and some bash teams might take a chunk out of the super skaven through-out the season, but as they are now I think there's very little stopping those gutter runners from scoring.

Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Jun 17, 2019 - 01:59 Reply with quote Back to top

HAHAHAAAA This is fun to read! Awesome. Thanks for the trust - we'll try to stab those mary sues in their perfect faces.

Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Jun 17, 2019 - 02:09 Reply with quote Back to top

Yeah, don't think BlueBombers can stop those gutters at this point. And they also lack the hitting power to really make the difference with these 2 LOS blocks and the blitz...

In the other game i think WifeBeaters win 3 perms/kills to 2 perms/kills. "Ball-score" = irrelevant.

Joined: Apr 13, 2019

Post   Posted: Jul 02, 2019 - 15:41 Reply with quote Back to top

JIM: Hello sports fans and welcome to CBFL on CBS for our third week of game analysis. Week three is already under way three games having been played. Also big news as bounty rules have been approved and one already collected! Tell us more about the bounty rules Owie.

OWIE: Sure Jim, the Ottowa Red Farts have moved to 3-0 in their victory over the Witch Riders who fall to 1-2. The red farts winning despite heavy casualties in no small part due to the sharp blade of team captain and all around nice guy (off the field) Keanu Reeves.

The Blue Nosers were victorious over the Halffielders killing one player of the 💀 plagued humans who failed 3 2d blocks. Nuffle hates humans.

Lastly the Chorus Gals were victorious over the Crabs as expected as the zombie team is just too slow and really only has the one useful player with wild animal. I predict that coach charle1331 decides to play elf's next season.

JIM: Yeah... So bounties allow coaches to put a paid reward on the head of any player in the league. However, if the coach is unable to pay the bounty the collecting coach will come to take their pay in blood, an injury roll will be made on a random player owned by the deadbeat coach. Who do you like in our. Other games this week Owie?

OWIE: First I like the -Blue Bombers- over the wife beaters. It looks like Coach Wolvezzz has learned what the CBFL is all about and that is scoring touchdowns in his 3-3 tie with the Rapscallions. He will use speed and agility to his advantage and roll over the slower Wife beaters.

Next I like The Rapscallions over the Mary Sue's. This game will come at a cost for the Rapscallions though and I expect to see a bunch of injured rats on the sidelines toward the end of this game.

The same will go for the Fleece Seekers who I expect to edge out the slower BC. The fleece Seekers are missing a key Blitzer but their witch is on hell of a player and I expect her to showcase her talents in this game.

The game of the week is the Clawyouits vs. the Ulferweres. This is going to be a hard hitting game. I expect some blood on the field here too. However, the player inwich this Norse dwarf team is named after should dominate the field. Hand it to him score early and often and this game should belong to coach sirindigo!

JIM: well I see you have ignored the U-Sports game once again so I will call that game and say I believe the Duelers are going to win.

OWIE: really Jim? You think so? You really think potentially the most dangerous team in the league is going to beat the leagues stunty team? Wow. Ok. Way to take a risk on that call. I applaud you for your bravado.

JIM: well that's all we have for you today. Feel free to comment on what you think. I know we have a captive audience for this show who are all apparently mute zombies!!!! Say something please I feel like I am talking to myself here.

OWIE: well technically you are Jim... I mean there is one person writing both our dialogue so if you really think about it.

PRODUCER: Stay in kayfable please boys people might actually be reading this garbage do you want to ruin it for them!?
For nuffles sake you should at least mention Canada day in the post somewhere they just celebrated it up in the great white North.

JIM: Na, the writer is American he dosent recognize supposed American defeats.. for my self and Owie Long so long Canada!

Last edited by Waagh on Jul 03, 2019 - 01:53; edited 1 time in total

Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Jul 02, 2019 - 23:29 Reply with quote Back to top

"The witch riders winning despite heavy casualties in no small part due to the sharp blade of team captain and all around nice guy (off the field) Keanu Reeves."

ähm... the REDFARTS winning, you mean?

Redfarts are and will be the most cas'd team season #2. But that won't stop us. As long as we got some knives we make sure they are sharp and hit your best players. Muahahahahaaaa!

Btw., Keanu Reeves got multi-stab now. His first multi stab was a ko. plus an armour break. His second multi stab was a double armour break. His 2 last stabs of the game were a BH'd witch and an armour break on the ball carrying witch, helping to secure victory with our last 3 menz on the pitch. Smile

Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Jul 02, 2019 - 23:39 Reply with quote Back to top

Ottawa and the entire league will be watching closely the Clawuits vs. Ulfwerner game and WE ALL HOPE, that BEAST will DIE.

And since this Slannesh team is the only one that ever beat my Redfarts, HOPES ARE HIGH they are able to inflict damage and pull off a draw or a win.

YOU CAN DO IT, Tzalaran!!! /cheers!!!!

Joined: Apr 13, 2019

Post   Posted: Jul 10, 2019 - 04:50 Reply with quote Back to top

JIM: Welcome to week 4 of the CBFL on CBS. It seems that these over achieving coaches have played right though week 4 before we could even make predictions on the games! All of week 3’s games have been played with the exception of the Clawyouits v. the Ulferwears Sirindigo of the Ulferwares failed to show up for as of yet unknown reasons.

OWIE: That’s right Jim. And that is really unfortunate for Coach Tzalaran as the forfeit win may cost him a chance at the casualties title for a second straight year. More on titles and accolades other than the grey cup in the week 5 edition which while be broadcast immediately following the week 4 broadcast. All but two of this week's games have been played. Why don't you go over the results of this weeks games for us Jim?

JIM: Thanks Owie!

OWIE: Couldn't have said it better myself Jim. so the two remaining games to be played will be between the BC and the -Blue Bombers- and the Rapscallions and the Ulferwears.

JIM: I hate to interrupt but Owie I haven't gone over the games that have already been played.

OWIE: That is correct Jim. I am going to pick the -Blue Bombers- to win that game. The Bombers have been on a roll lately, having earned a tie against their last two tough opponents, and I like them to start their win streak here against the BC. As for this week's second game I think we are all hoping that something bad happened to Sirindigo and that he has resolved that tragic event and can now come back to blood bowl! I mean the real shame would be costing the rapscallions a chance at the scoring title this year.

JIM: Owie! That is a terrible thing to say! You have crossed the line there! No one hopes that of coach Sirindigo! If you are watching Sirindigo our thoughts and prayers are with you. We really do hope all is well.

OWIE:That is right Jim Blood Bowl should be the most important thing in these coaches lives. They are getting paid millions in Canada dollars, which is probably like thousands in american money or hundreds in whatever europe is using these days, to coach these teams to a win!

JIM: Owie this is all just for a bit of fun…

OWIE: well folks see you next week another full coverage of the goings on of the CBFL here on CBS! Goodnight!

Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Jul 10, 2019 - 05:01 Reply with quote Back to top

Yeah, the forfeited game is a big letdown. A lost opportunity to get rid off that fat ulfwerner and also to see who's da biggezt basher.

On the bright side i am glad to inform all out fans, that everything is well in Ottawa: https://fumbbl.com/p/match?id=4075564

Ridiculous stab orgy, aaaaaaarRRRRRRRRRR Very Happy

Joined: Sep 16, 2012

Post   Posted: Jul 10, 2019 - 15:00 Reply with quote Back to top

In other news: When asked about the recent postings advertising a sale of "all practice equipment, locker room items, and players" coach charlie1331 was quoted as saying "why? Are you interested? Everything must go, no offer too low or insulting!"

2016 Chaos Cup Stunty Champion

Joined: Apr 13, 2019

Post   Posted: Jul 10, 2019 - 22:46 Reply with quote Back to top

JIM: Hello there sports fans and welcome to week fives edition of the CBFL on CBS. Week five is about the midway point in the season and so it is time to start looking at what individual players have been doing and what awards they could be up for because of their performance.

OWIE: That’s right Jim. This is the last week of U-Sports and so soon we will have a champion there that the pro teams will be scouting as the U-Sports Champ will be taking the highest seed of the CBFL playoffs. And it looks like the Chorus Gals V. the Bluenosers will be playing this week for that Championship in a coincidental Championship game of sorts.

JIM: That is right Owie but we were going to talk about the awards picture.

OWIE: The Cinderela Bluenosers are my favorite to win the championship as they can win with either a win or a tie, while the chorus gals are win or go home. However a win for the Chorus gals will be enough as they will both have the head to head win as well as the fan factor advantage for the tiebreaker. That is enough to make this U-Sports game the game of the week.

JIM: Okay i guess ill chime in on U-Sports too then. I know that you haven't been the biggest fan of U-Sports this year Owie but even I can admit that the other games in U-Sports are really just for funzies at this point as none of the other teams have any chance at the playoffs. However, I would also like to mention that The Winner of the U-Sports division will carry the disadvantages of both being the Highest seed in the playoffs as well as having fewer games in which to develop players.

OWIE: Well Jim fewer games could end up being an advantage. We will have to see how casualties factor in especially given that two players are forced onto the LOS to be crumpled by the oppositions hardest hitters every kickoff.

JIM: Well can we talk about the mid season awards picture now Owie or would you care to change the subject again?

OWIE: The BC will be looking to collect a 10k bounty by killing a Redfart this week which seems very likely considering all those hard hitting players the BC have. I think the entire League will be hoping that he collects on team captain Keanu Reeves. Still I expect an undefeated season out of the Redfarts this year and are calling them to win the game.

I am picking a Tie for the Ulferwares if they show up to face the Wife Beaters as the Beaters seem to be tie masters even if their roster disadvantage makes it harder for them to take home the W. Although a second forfeit in a row could see them get booted from the league and having a U_Sports team come up to take their place. I don’t know how the league would handle that delicate situation as it would cause problems for win loss chances as some teams have already had the chance to play the Ulferwares and others have not meaning that some teams would have gotten more games played than others skewing the results.

The Mary Sues V. The Witchriders is another interesting game. The Sues have a 1 point advantage over the Witchiders in the standings and I really feel this game could go either way. I am predicting that the Sues will win the casualty battle and use their inevitable numbers advantage to win the game.
I like the Clawyouits to continue their undefeated streak to beat the -Blue Bombers- this week. Not only do I feel that the Clawyouits have the better roster but I think that they will be out for blood after having to settle for a forfeit win last week.

Last the Rapscallions play against the Fleece Seekers this week in what is sure to be the highest scoring game of the week. Both of these teams like to put the ball in the endzone. I am predicting that the game will see both a high score and high body count as both these teams look to get a win as the fleece seekers are no 2 in casualties allowed this season with 9 which is 2 more than the rapscallions who are tied with the aforementioned _Blue Bombers- for 3rd with 7. These two coaches have played test matches against each other before and I think they are tied at 1-1 there. So some bad blood between these two coaches. The Fleece Seekers are playing at a higher TV although the Rapscallions will have the numbers advantage with a full bench against the Seekers 7 players and I think that is the advantage that will push the scallions over the Seekers.

JIM: Well if you are still watching this broadcast I salute you! This has to be the longest yet and we are still going. It seems that many in the league are as interested in statistics as I am and wondering what individual players may be in line for awards at the end of the season.

The Bloody Fist for most casualties which has yet to have been awarded looks to be a lock for Pounce of the Wife beaters who leads that category with 7 which is 3 more than the tied for 2nd Roberta Bagg of the witch riders, Ebony Dark’ness Raven Way of the Mary Sues and Mr. Mad of the BC

The Mr. Cannon award won last year by Greg Reid of Slaaneshreal Clawyouits is being contested by Joshua Stanford of the Clawyouits with 5, Asomer -Blue Bombers- with 5, and a three way tie for third with 2 completions by Seth Dion or the Farts, Ginny Weasly of the Sues and Kareeem Bacon of the Rapscallions.

The Golden Spike for most TD’s won last season by Mike Pringles of the Scallions is being led by fan favorite Andrea witch elf of the Seekers with 5, closely behind with 4 there is a three way tie Between Keanu Reeves of the Farts, Mike Pringle of the scallions and, Nanook of the Ulferweres who would likely have the top spot had he gotten th opportunity to play last week.

The Black Star for most SSP earned was also won by Mike Pringle last season is being contested by Pounce of the Beaters with 24 Fallowed closely with Andrea of the Seekers with 21 and tied for third with 18 are the really long name guy from the Sues and Aadarius Boowman of the Clawyouits who has apparently won the award for most vowels in a name unless that name is a sentence like the guy he is tied with.

OWIE: Yeah you would think a name like that would be against CBFL naming policy. No way thats what his momma calls him…

JIM: The Silver Shoe for most fouls was won last year by Justin Tru’dohhh is being ran away with by spare of the Beaters with 11 which is 7 more than the next closest competitor.

The Diamond Helmet for most turns played is being led by Rey of the Sues with 65 fallowed closely by Mr. Handsy and pounce of the Wife beaters with 64

Last Really long name guy of the Sues has this seasons only INT and will need one more to take the Ball Hawk Award which has a requirement that at least 2 INTs be made for the award to be given out.

Joined: Jan 05, 2016

Post   Posted: Jul 11, 2019 - 00:13 Reply with quote Back to top

Don't you ever wish that something bad happens to Keanu Reeves. Or his dog. He'll cure you from your hatred on the pitch by multi stabbing you...

Btw. in U-sports they'll play another set of 5 games all over again, so, we'll only see who is the champ of the first half so far. And U-Sports champ takes the lowest seed in CBFL playoffs.

So, let's sum this up, what all those fancy individual players awards mean for Ottawa, your favorite franchise, of course: Not a single redfart leading in any cathegory right now - other than being the most injured roster - but we'll still getting win after win. Because it's a team effort, you'll never know who will throw the game winner or which redfart will stab you in the face.... Razz

Joined: Apr 13, 2019

Post   Posted: Jul 11, 2019 - 01:13 Reply with quote Back to top

You are only ahead of the Fleece Seekers by 2 casualties this season! Not Tryin to hear the pity party! Laughing If we ever get more than a player or two on the bench you can expect us to go after that Silver Shoe!!!!
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