I had a little internal conversation this morning, and I decided for the first time in my Blood Bowling life, that I, Purplegoo, am a scrub.

For those unfamiliar with the term, I direct you to Plorg’s interesting 2008 thread Playing to Win. For those that can’t be arsed to click, to paraphrase, a scrub is someone not doing their utmost to win, probably by playing with some self-imposed mantra or rule set. Plorg’s first post lays it out better than I ever could, but common Blood Bowling scrubs you’ve encountered before are coaches who apply some bizarre morale code to Fouling. They won’t take Claw on doubles because they‘re cool and it's 'OP', that sort of thing. They impose their own made up values, rules or system that aren’t in the rules of the game and as such, aren’t totally playing to win (’This is broken, I won‘t use it!’ is a common scrub saying), but justify it to themselves somehow.

Now, previously, I’ve been pretty much as hardcore in terms of a FUMBBLer as you can be, and had a bit of a chuckle at scrubs. I’ve made my teams as good as possible, used every facet of the rules in a way that I think maximises my chance to win games (note: since picking is at least formally against the rules, I’m not counting trying not to do it as previous scrubness…). But I realised today that currently, I’m not, through some application of my own moral compass that actually has no place in the game.

I’m speaking about Blackbox minmaxing. I played a guy today (I should note here, I am in no way having a go at anyone else for playing to win within the rules, moreover, I’m being self critical) who had Dwarves. Dwarves at TV1400 with a million banked. My Journeymen bolstered Rats took a good kicking (I must confess I thought I was significantly unlucky and that didn‘t help, but then, all losers do, don't we?), and the super honed megastar Runner plus some guys steamrollered me into submission. I tut when I see 1 SV Skaven with 400k banked and such Gutter Runners a ‘real’ team at 1650 would have zero chance of winning. I have a knee-jerk ‘I’m better than that’ reaction when I see a horrid minmax Pact team, even though I shouldn’t. Tipping the scales in your own direction through careful and good team building has always been a way to win a Blood Bowl game, and it still is.

Again, no harm to these guys. They’re simply hardcore winners. They don’t long for the romance of a ‘real’ long term team, developed over a TV range with a storied history of knockbacks and returns to greatness. They are playing the numbers of the Blackbox system very well, and winning a hatful of games, and afterall, what’s more important than that? I used to think nothing. Once you add to the fact there’s essentially nothing wrong with this behaviour with the feeling that there’s nothing you could do about it even if you wanted to (erm, TS won’t work, the Bank won’t help, it‘s in the flipping rules…?!) you have to accept this is the new, ‘professional‘, optimal way to play Blood Bowl in LRB6 in the B division. You minmax, you keep your team in a sweet spot of TV, you maximise your wins. Don't like it? Tough, thems the rules.

Now, luckily for me, I’m alright at the game. Even playing in B as a scrub, I’m winning more than I did in the old R, so I’m happy I don’t survive on picking to get by, and that I can win plenty of games in a ‘competitive’ environment (laughable as the suggestion is that B > R in competitiveness, but that’s for another day…), but it does strike me as something that a newer, less hardcore coach will get fed up with fast. You come, afterall, from TT where you build teams over a quick season, you don't have time to team build like this.

The answer for all of us scrubs might be to escape to R where we can all apply our moral code to our games and play the way we find most fun. I suspect when tournaments are introduced, most will, but we’ll wait and see. I’m a little disappointed that I’ve joined the ranks of the scrubs in my old age, but I guess you can’t change how you feel about stuff like minmaxing; it’s just not for me.

So, I guess I’ll carry on playing B for a bit (at least until game finder is less of a wasteland), but sub optimally. I suspect all of you hardcore gamers will be licking your lips. More easy scrub meat for you. But you know, at least we’re cool?

And, to end in a way that might please blog fans, a Top Gun picture;