“A messy game to kick off the careers of the Stumps of Doom! With a woodelf catcher sent to the injury box early on by the crowd, and a few more badly dazed elves being laid down in the knock out bin, the Stumps held an early numbers advantage thanks to their players being too stupid to know when they are hurt.

Ghoul Guide managed to score around half way through the first half, with the Sissies answering with a returning touch down. While the Sissies did attempt to bring the score to 2-1 in their favor before the end of the second half, their player stumbled trying to dodge and there was a nasty snapping noise even the fans in the back row could hear. Luckily for the Sissies their Apothecary managed to repair the damage.

The Stumps good fortune peaked when Overripe popped Jeffery Dahmer a lucky shot to the chin, while Jeff was sending a kick his way. Both players exploded like sacks of red paint, but fortunately the Stumps magic was so strong that Overripe leaped back together again. After careful consideration, three rolls of sticky tape and a dozen paperclips, Jeffery decided to join the Stumps cause, and was rewarded with an MVP for supporting the fight against his still living brethern.

Unfortunately, not everything went the Stumps way, and in a lucky punch our lone wolf was tragically killed. This whipped the Stumps into a fury, and gave them renewed vigor for the rest of the second half.

Meat Wall scored another nasty casualty on Jerry Brudos, and Lord Chuckles managed to bring the score up to 2 - 1 in the stumps favor. The Sissies did make a valient final attempt at an equaliser, but an unlucky block put an end to that, and the Stumps were handed the match trophy, still covered in bits of woodelf and wolf fur which had sprayed out from the pitch.”